Unanswered [5] | Urgent [0]
  

Posts by Saputra Putra
Name: Ahmad Saputra 33
Joined: Dec 5, 2015
Last Post: Feb 7, 2016
Threads: 23
Posts: 10  
Likes: 6
From: Indonesia
School: Universitas M

Displayed posts: 33
sort: Latest first   Oldest first  | 
Saputra Putra   
Feb 7, 2016
Writing Feedback / Earth-exploration energy is a high acceptable solution. [2]

As Earth runs out of natural resources, we have started to look to space for solutions. However, some people argue that this is wrong thing to do, and instead we should look for alternative solutions here on Earth. To what extent do you agree with them? What alternatives might there be to exploiting space for natural resources?

Today's issue is natural resources. As seen, most people need more resources of energy in order to fulfill their needs. For some people, they claim space exploration as a solution, but it is not always true since this notion brings enormous drawback rather than the advantage. In my opinion, earth-exploration energy is a high acceptable solution.

Increasing supply and demand some natural resources is predominant reason why virtually resource experts claim that worldwide people have to seek out an alternative solution as soon as possible. Populer notion comes to solve this problem, in which some asteroid in the space is offered as a solution namely space mining. Neil deGrasse Tyson, a well-known American astrophysics, reveals space mining has enormous potential to improve human life. For instance, if team of space mining can haul an asteroid which has the size of a house to earth, this material could give more platinum rather than has been mined in world's history.

However, this idea is criticized by some opponent due to wasting money to much. Peter Diamandis, the founders of asteroid-mining company, estimates that the total of budget in order to carry out this notion is from $300 billion to $5 trillion. The great number of money leads critics to promote simple technology as alternative solution on the Earth. While I argue with this view, since the Earth has tremendous potential resources that can be used, I also claim that some earth power can be a solution for such problem namely wind, water and solar power.

In conclusion, the space exploration in order to carry out resources less likely have positive impact in human needs while the earth exploration resources is the best form. Worldwide people can produce the great amount of energy from the earth namely wind power and solar power.
Saputra Putra   
Feb 7, 2016
Writing Feedback / Since 20th century, some countries have started exploring the space [2]

Some people argue that space exploration has had more to do with national pride than international effort. To what extent do you agree with this? How do you think space exploration will change in the future?

Since 20th century, some countries have started exploring the space as this aims international effort. While it is utterly unacceptable since majority countries carry out this occasion only for their pride, I would argue in the future people will leave behind this program and concern in people's welfare.

With concern in making their countries superior, some of governments do their best in space exploration albeit countries' income should be cut off. Anhar Gonggong, a well-known Indonesian historian, states that all developed countries compete in order to achieve a title as the most powerful country in this world. Taking cold war as sample, between 1947 and 1991, two fascinating countries which were America and Uni soviet performed their latest modern space breakthrough with aims to leave behind each other. This results in America being a well-known as the superpower country which had successfully landed in the moon. From such occasion, I believe this notion only brings benefit for national pride than international scale.

Money is the main problem for such exploration. Wasting a great number of budgets is a pivotal consideration why worldwide governments have to think twice funding annual project. Norm Augustine, team leader of President Barack Obama's staff for space exploration, said NASA experiencing budget problems. In Forthcoming era, I believe people over the world tend to spend their countries' income through communities' welfare than carrying out space exploration.

In conclusion, countries which explore the space only bring the prestigious awards for their nation rather than international importance. In any case, people will be bound to leave their dream in space exploration because of money needed.
Saputra Putra   
Feb 4, 2016
Writing Feedback / Today's issue is local inhabitants' desire visit museums and historical spot [2]

Many museums and history sites are mainly visited by tourists rather than local people why is this? What can we done to encourage people to visit museums and historical sites?

Today's issue is local inhabitants' desire visit museums and historical spot. While it is utterly acceptable, since the number of local tourists remains steady under low condition, it is argue that authority should take this issue into account.

The predominant motive enormous inhabitants are less likely reckoning on visiting museum and historical spot since boring ambience. Boring ambience is unpleasant condition because unoccupied curiosity in some repetitive activity. This results in people not carrying out such activities again, which in likely cause lack of interest. A 2012 Harvard University study found that French only took small proportion in percentage of visitor in the Louvre, a famous France museum, 38 %. This will be danger in local inhabitants' historical horizon especially a young generation.

In term of solution, the decorator of the museum or historical spot should be frequently perform different view while museum official carry out community event to booster spirit of local people visiting historical places. Most of them are less bound to tour in such palaces because they hate facing monotone atmosphere and spend all of their time on the same place. For instance, with concern to attract attention of domestic and non-domestic tourists, the government of Edinburg conducts some monthly occasion in front of their museum namely the feringe festival.

In conclusion, boring ambience is a major issue that can result in people avoiding visiting museums and historical sites. However, government and other parties can give effort to get rid of this problem. It is imperative that more various events should be conducted.
Saputra Putra   
Feb 4, 2016
Writing Feedback / IELTS WRITING TASK 1 - Stokeford's alterations over 80 years [2]

Turning to thewhen it comes to east side, a large house with a spacious garden had been modifiedrenovated to be a house for retired people.

In additionIn any case , a primary school had been enlargedextended with additional building ...
... new residence block in the new roadway as well .
Saputra Putra   
Feb 4, 2016
Writing Feedback / Many people strive to maintain a successful career and happy family life at the same time. [2]

Many people strive to maintain a successful career and happy family life at the same time. What problems can this situation create? What are the possible solutions?

A better future for people can maintain brilliant career and great family. While it is not really acceptable since this notion will lead them to chronic stress, I would argue that focus on one choice bringing considerable benefit is utterly valued by people.

Maintaining a successful career and great family life causes overwork and eventually lead people to get chronic stress. Chronic stress is negative responding of human body to any kind of over demand. This results in people lacking little confidence, which in likely causes divorce in family and decrease dramatically capacity of work. A 2012 Leeds University carried out the research asking people driving while singing a song. The result from this research, people are less likely to finish more than one complicated problem.

With concern to take such issue into account, people should first focus on one area in order to completely gain it in order to prevent their relation in both family and work. Many people get trouble since they have uncontrollable desire to directly obtain both choices in one time without consideration about their unfairly-tight schedule and energy. Widya Astuti, a well-known Indonesian psychologist of family, reveals 83% people who are demanded divorce by their wife since such people less tend to maintain their tight schedule well.

In conclusion, with concern to prevent both relations, it is seemed unacceptable maintaining a successful career and happy family at the same time. This is important to suggest that people should first focus on one problem.
Saputra Putra   
Feb 4, 2016
Writing Feedback / Today's issue is drug users (Writing Task II) [2]

Should drug addicts be jailed or rehabilitated? Discuss both views and give your opinions.

Today's issue is drug users. As seen, more people live with consuming drugs. For some people, they argue that government should take this issue into account by sending the drug users into the jail, but nevertheless it is not always true. Other people claim that treatment and rehabilitation is the best form to prevent societies from being addicted. While the former offers an alternative solution, I strongly believe that rehabilitation also has a huge positive effect in this problem.

Most people believe that addicts should be sent to jail. With concern to prevent society from illegal activities, drug users are claimed as a criminal and anybody who is criminal should be arrested. According to Indonesian Law chapter 35/2009 on narcotics and addictive drugs, Indonesian Department handling drugs (BNN) has obligation to arrest societies who are positive as a drug consumers and dealers. However, I believe this notion likely do not bring a significant impact since they have a chance to comeback again in that way when released.

With concern to categorize addicts also as a victim, not only just a criminal, Government should provide treatment and rehabilitation for them because most of drug users are teenager who does not know well about the drugs. A 2012 Leeds University study found that the best strategy to prevent society from this issue is prioritization in the health with taking treatment and rehabilitation as the main plan. I argue this method is more suitable because this not only declines the number of drug users but also cures completely addicts.

In conclusion, although the choice of sending addicts into the jail can help government to fight with drugs, authority should make them aware about the drawback of such drugs by conducting treatment and rehabilitation.
Saputra Putra   
Feb 3, 2016
Writing Feedback / The sophisticated information technology tends to enable virtually workers having job at home. [2]

Information technology enables many people to do their work outside their workplace (e.g. at home, when travelling, etc.)
Do the benefits of this mobility outweigh the disadvantages?


The sophisticated information technology tends to enable virtually workers having job at home. While it is utterly acceptable since work outside derives enormous benefit, I would argue this notion increase employee productivity.

Work outside bringing disadvantages is a pivotal issue for workers because careful surveillance of employees' attendance will be conducted hardly by employer. Muhammad Ahkam, a well known psychologist of industrial and organization, reveals that some companies which allow their employees to do their work outside shows a gradual decline of influx. This is because most of their workers escape from their obligation. However, workers do no need to be like this and concern about skipping can be reduced if employees are properly supervised. In any case, BBC News reported some attendance application can be used to give employers the status of their workers, working or skipping, albeit they take on a job in outside of the workplace.

A part from previous explanations, a modern breakthrough opens up the possibility for worker having their job in outside. In an case such notion is bound to boost employee's productivity since home can create a pleasant-work atmosphere. A 2012 Leeds University study found that 86 % of workers in UK who move their work from offices to their houses tend to easily avoid stress. This opportunity means that an outdoor working is very worthwhile and eclipses any fears about poor performance.

In conclusion, Working outside given to workers and the eventually a chance to enhance their performance because of advanced technology as a merit far outweigh the supposed disadvantages of work at home.
Saputra Putra   
Feb 2, 2016
Writing Feedback / Since 20th century, some schools have started using online video games as an education tool [2]

Some people regard online video games as a useful educational tool. Others, however, believe that videos games are having an adverse effect on the young people who play them.

Since 20th century, some schools have started using online video games as this could be used to replace conventional tools of education. While it is true to some extent, I argue that such modern breakthrough gives a rise to significant problem as the impact of this leads youngster to sedentary lifestyle.

With concern to enhance dramatically youngster's capacity in some skills, online video games are offering an effective way. This is because such games have a huge possibility to be improved as a educational tool. Ammy Cuddy, a famous Harvard psychologist, reveals that an online video games give a totally control to youngster as a user to compete with other worldwide users. This results in young people enabling them to think critically about their case in game offered and expands their second language. However, this notion has brought demerit to lead them in sedentary lifestyle.

The effect of this notion becomes serious problem. There has been a large increase in health related disease among youngster, especially obesity, since such teenagers tend to lack of exercise. A 2012 Leeds University study found that 64 % of young gamers in UK were bound to spend almost their leisure time with indoor activity rather than outdoor. The outcome of this study shows that almost such gamers gained obesity. Endless to say that the obesity will get rid of a youngster's desire to be part with their peers, and eventually they are likely being unsociable person.

In conclusion, despite the fact that there are benefits playing online video games, I believe that more attention should be paid on youngster health development since such technology likely lead them to sedentary lifestyle.
Saputra Putra   
Feb 2, 2016
Writing Feedback / There is a fear about student's adaptation with overseas diets. International exchange in schools [2]

Some teachers think that international student exchange would be beneficial for all teenage school students. Do you think its advantages will outweigh the disadvantages

International student exchange comes to school's program. Obviously, this notion leads some teachers to promote the benefit of this program. While this notion utterly acceptable, I would argue internationally recognized qualification as a merit albeit there is a fear about student's adaptation with overseas diets.

Most students involving themselves in an international student exchange will adjust hardly for eating menu in their destination countries since some worldwide countries have unique taste and ingredients. BBC News informs that China utilize commonly some insects as an important part in their diet. This will be really unusual for western students. This cause such students taking cooking course in order to preserve themselves when arrive in that place.

In any case, this idea bringing considerable advantage is the most valued by some students with internationally recognized qualification. This skill will be much more useful to them later in live. Eva Meizara Puspita Dewi, a well know Indonesian psychologist, reveals such notion will establish mutual understanding in students' personality which has a great function in working as a team. This opportunity means that an exchange program is very worthwhile and eclipses any fears about poor qualification.

In conclusion, as a student live in a different country, despite the fact that there is drawback in international student exchange. I believe this notion help the students improving their capacity especially internationally recognized qualification. It is imperative that schools carry out such program since the merit outweighs the drawback.
Saputra Putra   
Feb 2, 2016
Writing Feedback / Task 1 - The Amount of dollars spent on Books purchasing in Germany, France, Italy, and Austria [2]

A breakdown of the figure for the amount of money spent on books in several countries in Europe over ten-year period, started in 1995 is seen in the line graph. It is important to notice that All of the figure was shown an gradual increase over the time frame. While the percentage of Germany was the highest compare to other categories, the last proportion was seen in Austria level in the beginning of period and Italia level in the of the time frame.
Saputra Putra   
Feb 1, 2016
Writing Feedback / It is generally thought that employees are choosing their jobs based on an offered income [2]

Do you agree that money is the only motivation at work why people prefer working in the same company for many years?
It is generally thought that employees are choosing their jobs based on the large of the income offered. While it is utterly unacceptable as many workers leave behind their job albeit have high salary, I would argue the idea of this bringing a benefit is not the most valued by some people. As it can be seen, workers today are likely concern on working environment and job satisfaction in order to carry out the job.

Virtually supporters of this notion argue that people are bound to consider working environment to opt their job. With concern to encourage themselves working hardly, working environment play an important role in the employee's perception. People likely leave behind their job if they feel unconvertible and making the influx as second consideration. The New York Times reported in March 2015 that workers who work in peaceful workplace, stress free and friendly atmosphere will successfully gained their best performance.

Another consideration in order to opt a place earning money is Job satisfaction since Employees likely concern on doing what they love as the prominent benefits rather than monetary form of influx. A 2012 Harvard University study found that 57 workers in UK was divided into two groups. First group was send to company which he pleasant to work there, while other group was send to different company that they did not keen to work. The outcome of this study shows that the former were more likely to achieve outstanding performance and successfully being more socially acceptable among their co-workers.

In conclusion, as worker choose their job. It is revealed that employees are bound to consider to the working environment and job satisfaction rather than the large of influx. It is imperative that more attention of employers should be paid on this area.
Saputra Putra   
Feb 1, 2016
Writing Feedback / Artistic talent is important in order to learn non-academic subject. [2]

It is pointless making children who lack artistic talent learn painting and drawing in Art classes at school. Instead, they should concentrate on other creative and practical subjects which they may have more aptitude.

To what extent do you agree or disagree?


Artistic talent is important in order to learn non-academic subject. Obviously, this notion leads some proponent to promote students who do not have such talent will be encouraged to concentrate on practical subject. While this notion thoroughly unacceptable, I will argue that non-academic subject bringing ample advantages is considerable valued by ineptitude students.

The primary reason why encouraging them to focus on practical subject is mistaken idea because non-academic subject improve ungifted students capacity in academic performance. Such students which are involved in non-academic subject feeling never bored and always love their subject. A 2013 Gajah Mada University study found that 15 Indonesian children sent to a formal school to start academic subject namely English, math and other school subjects, while they are also asked to merge with other non-academic subject community in school. The outcome of this study shows that these children were more likely to achieve a good mark in academic subject and to succeed in being more socially acceptable among their peers. Therefore, non-academic subject gives a rise to student qualification including for students who lack artistic talent.

The second main reason is that well-soft skill capacity will appear to be true for inaptitude students that join in non-academic subject because such activities encourage these students to work as a team and solve the problem with their peer. The New York Times reported in January 2014 that children being involved in non-academic subject, art or sport, have successfully gained score higher in core studies, such as history, language and math. As seen, they are superior to public school pupils. This results in students who lack artistic talent as well.

In conclusion, the notion to get rid off non-academic subjects from students who have no talent in that area is wrong decision. In fact, such subject enhances inaptitude student's soft skill and hard skill. This party will be much benefit to them later in the life.
Saputra Putra   
Feb 1, 2016
Writing Feedback / Interview plays an important role in recruitment of organization [2]

Most employers interview candidates before hiring them. Do you think this is the best way to do it? In your opinion, what is the best method for choosing employees?

Interview plays an important role in recruitment of organization. However, the idea of this bringing many considerable advantages is not the most valued by some employer. As it can be seen, such recruitment method takes much time and much energy of employer. To tackle such problem, I would suggest that administrative selection should be conducted as well in order to optimize the recruitment of the worker.

Interviewing a massive number of applicants can lead to full-on job for employers. Limited amount of time and number of interviewer is common problem in company which only use an interview as their recruitment method. Eva Meizara Puspita Dewi, a well known Indonesian Psychologist, reveals that another weakness of an interview is subjectivity. As human being, interviewer will involve their felling and emotion to give a value to applicants. Such condition is likely inappropriate, and give a rise to inflict financial loss.

In term of solutions, I strongly believe the employers should consider combining administrative selection with interview method since it will save the time and more objective. This combination gives employer ample opportunities to select the applicants who have strong curriculum vitae. By doing so, employer has more efficient interview time. The New York Times reported in March 2015 that companies which implement such combination have successfully gained a potential worker.

In conclusion, as company conduct recruitment of employee. It is suggested that employer consider utilizing combination between administrative selection and interview method, than it may well become possible to get potential worker.
Saputra Putra   
Feb 1, 2016
Writing Feedback / Colors come to manufactures and retail companies' goods in order to attract purchasers [3]

Colour is a powerful tool that is used to great effect by manufacturers and retail companies when they try to sell us something. In fact, many of the purchasing decisions we make are partly or largely influenced by colour.

How true is this statement? How much does colour influence us when we buy something?


Colors come to manufactures and retail companies' goods in order to attract purchasers. Obviously, this notion leads some proponents to promote colors as a great strategy to receive a large influx. While I argue with this view, since this influences the decision of purchasing, I also claim that price of such goods have an impact as well.

Colors play a prominent role in encouraging people to purchase goods because some cohorts of ages easily are affected by using specific color. Eva Meizara Puspita dewi, a well known Indonesian Psychologist, takes children as a sample which is bound to be attracted by using toys which have bright colors. Therefore, colors are placed in goods in order to get large income. However, manufactures and retail companies should consider about another factor.

Apart from previous explanation, another party influencing people desire to purchase goods is price. People have different capacity to purchase item since they should adjust their family income with the price albeit they have desire to have it. In the book of hierarchy of needs, Abraham Maslow, a famous psychologist, reveals that people will give priority to their primary needs than advance needs even thought such magnificent items attract people attention. Therefore, price should be considered as a party which has effect in buying decision.

In conclusion, color likely attracts people attention. It is suggested that manufactures and retail companies consider utilizing specific color in their products. In fact, price is bound to affect purchasing decision as well. It is imperative that more attention should be paid on colors and price of the goods in order to achieve large influx.
Saputra Putra   
Feb 1, 2016
Writing Feedback / Color has tendency to alter human's mood [2]

Psychologists have known for many years that colour can affect how people feel. For this reason, attention should be given to colour schemes when decorating places such as offices and hospitals

How true is this statement? How far does colour influence people's health and capacity for work?


Color has tendency to alter human's mood. In any case, this influence people recovery their health in hospital or improve their capacity in work. However, such idea bringing advantages is not the most valued by some people. I argue that other factors play an important role in this issue.

Color seems less important to maintain people health because other factors likely have a huge impact on this area. A 2012 Harvard University study found that the effect of the color in human's health is depended on the people's perception about such color. This proves that the same color will have different effect in different person. In any case, a bright color will disturb health professional's concentration on treating patient. Therefore, color is bound to have minor function in health area.

When it comes to office, such idea that claim color will encourage employees to work hardly is tend to be weak employees will more concern on their paper or computer than colors in a wall. In my office in Kalla Company, Human Research Development (HRD) conducts monthly training because they believe that painting wall with specific color is not enough to improve the capacity of workers. All in all, with concern to improve the capacity for work, monthly training has ample impact rather than coloring the wall.

In conclusion, with concern to optimize people capacity in maintaining health and working a project, it is claimed that color is less important. In fact, other parties play a prominent role in this issue.
Saputra Putra   
Jan 31, 2016
Writing Feedback / Becoming familiar with a foreign language at primary school gives more advantages for children [3]

Nowadays (this word is already used in many writing, just try to be different), as children are part of ...
That this is why some specialists ...
However other argue that it is bad decision [...] In my opinion, the potential of its benefit [...] (hem, let me give you an alternative for intro)

This is it:

Since 12th century, most parents have encourage their child learning an overseas language at first school as this could be have a function in the future. While it is thoroughly true to some extent, some people argue that it is not appropriate decision as lag of mother tongue can be one of demerits.
Saputra Putra   
Jan 31, 2016
Writing Feedback / IELTS Task 2 : THE INFLUENCE OF SOPHISTICATED MEDIA on people in a relationship [3]

(Try to use hook in beginning of your sentence, so people will be more interest) It is generally assumed that utilizing of sophisticated media such as the net and mobile phone bring a detrimental effect on the personal interaction between individuals. In my view, although in several cases Most people claim that the use of electronic devices breaks a relationship, I strongly believe that it totally depends on the user. If advanced technology is used properly so it can make the relation being more harmony.

An alternative : The use of electronic media has a negative effect on the personal relationship between people.
To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Modern communication breakthroughs improve human relation. (This I mean as a hook) However, the idea of this bringing many considerable demerits is important by some people. As it can be seen, human today is bound to call their colleagues by using cellphone rather than directly meeting face to face, this gives rise to significant problems. While I argue with this view, I also claim that talking in person will get rid of the problems.
Saputra Putra   
Jan 24, 2016
Writing Feedback / Predominant reasons for wildlife population alteration (Writing task 1) [2]

The breakdown of the figure for predominant reasons for wildlife population alteration is presented in the pie chart between 2000 and present days, whilst the table chart illustrate the level of alteration in population figures for wildlife in the same period. It is important to notice that the highest proportion have been seen in habitat destruction's level. While, the percentages of most wildlife population have increased extremely, the converse has appeared to be true for several categories of animals' populations.

Turning to the pie chart, there is a large proportion for habitat destruction, roughly four out of ten, while pollution's level is a half as much. This has followed by over-exploitation, 15 %. In any case, the rest of proportions' level has shown very small proportion.

When it comes to table chart, the most noticeable changes have been seen in the proportion of insects, when butterflies and bees have declined markedly, 42 % and 43 % respectively. The percentage of freshwater fish has narrowed a gap to the highest one by approximately a ten while other population's level that have same trend only have seen very small proportion. Interestingly, several animals' population in categories of mammals and aquatic mammals have upward trend, almost a quarter for bats while others roughly a half as much.




Saputra Putra   
Jan 22, 2016
Writing Feedback / The percentage of human impact on plants and animals is seven times as much as some natural events [2]

A breakdown of the figure for extinction of plant and animal species, and the treats to plant life is shown in line and pie chart respectively. This is important to note that an extreme upward is shown in the line chart. In any case, another chart illustrate human has a tremendous impact in plant live.

The percentage of human impact has 7 times as much as natural events. The most noticeable percentage in human impact comes to Agriculture, while development's level roughly a half as much. The level of the highest one is followed by the percentage of harvesting. A small proportion is seen in other proportion which is no more out of ten. In anycase, when it comes to natural proportion, Natural disaster's level shows approximately the same as other natural events had been a small proportion as well.

Turning to the level of extinction of plant and animal, overall changes are not always steady. The most noticeable proportion is forecast to increase in the number of these species, when this level will increase from 2000 to 2040. This will reach a peak approximately 50,000 per million people per decade in the following year. Between 2080 and 2100, such number will decline rapidly, a plunge of about 20,000 per million per decades in 40 years.




Saputra Putra   
Jan 21, 2016
Writing Feedback / The level of exercise and absenteeism in a giant company in 2012 - bar and table chart [2]

A breakdown of the figure for exercise and absenteeism in two departments of the giant company in 2012 is showed in bar and table chart. Such data in bar chart is measured in percentage while another data in per 1,000 employees. As per chart, the data are divided into 2 parts: Birmingham and London department. This is important to note that the highest level was employee who exercised between 5 and 10 hours. The number of absenteeism between 1-5 days a year is the biggest number in this year.

The percentage of employees who exercised between 5 and 10 hours per week in Birmingham department was the same as London department at roughly five out of ten. While 35% of employees in London department exercised for less than five hours a week, Birmingham's employees accounted for roughly a half as much. There was a significant increase for the level of employee's exercise between 10 and 15 hours from London to Birmingham department, one in ten and 25 % respectively. A very small proportion was seen in the level of employee who exercised more than 15 hours.

Birmingham department's employees who went to work accounted for over twice as much as London department.The most noticeable change was seen in the proportion of employees who took absenteeism between 1-5 days a year in London department with 594 per 1,000 employees. This significantly widened a gap to Birmingham department by 216 per 1,000 employees per year. The level of Birmingham's employee who took absenteeism more than 5 days a year was almost the same as London department had been 248 per 1,000 employees.




Saputra Putra   
Jan 21, 2016
Writing Feedback / Cinema attendance between 1990 and 2010 in the United Kingdom [NEW]

A breakdown of the figure for cinema attendance between 1990 and 2010 in the UK is showed in line chart. This is measured in percentage. As per chart, the data is divided into four age groups: 14-24 years, 24-34 years, 34-44 years, and 44-54 years. This is important to notice that Overall the level of age groups revealed a slight increase. While aged 44-54 was the highest percentage over the period, the less popular cinema was seen in percentage of aged 14-24.

In the beginning of the period, The percentage of aged 44-54 was the same as cohort of aged 33-44 had been at 38 % while age group of 24-34 years roughly had a half as much. The very small proportion was seen in level of aged 14-24.

A part from previous comparisons, overall changes were not always steady, in 2010, the most noticeable proportion was showed in bracket of 14-24 ages, when this increase from 48 % to approximately five out of ten. Then reach a peak in the same time. This significantly widened a gap to others ages. While the level of aged 33-44 and aged 14-24 saw a continuous and steady increase, by almost the same amount, another level is seen stagnancy in roughly 32 %. Between 2000-2005, overall, the four group of ages was showed a gradual increase after a downward in the previous year.




Saputra Putra   
Jan 19, 2016
Writing Feedback / The U.S. state of Oregon - population outline. Writing Task 1 [2]

A breakdown of the figure for the population in three diverse countries in the U.S. state of Oregon between 1940 and 2000 is showed in the line chart. It is measured in thousand. As per chart, the data is divided into three parts: Columbia, Yamhill and Washington. It is important to notice that the percentage of Washington broke a record as the highest level. The number of all countries was seen a gradual upward over the time frame.

The proportion of the population in three areas increased gradually over 6 decades and reached their highest proportion in 2000, but Washington's population was always the highest level. While a gap between Columbia and Yamhill's level had narrowed down, the converse will appear to be true for a gap between those countries with Washington's proportion.

Between 1940 and 1970, the level of population in three countries rose gradually. That was followed by a period of 3 decades, Yamhill and Columbia' population increased. Interestingly, the number of Colombia's population in the end of period was the same as the number of Washington population had been at the beginning of the period, at 75,000.




Saputra Putra   
Jan 19, 2016
Writing Feedback / A breakdown of the various difficulties that citizens have when they live in a novel country [5]

Hei Afla, Let me give you a hand

A breakdown of the various difficulties that citizens have ... (It will be better if you write down 2 sentences for overview)

An alternative : A breakdown of the figure for diverse setback faced by people moving in a foreign country is showed in the bar chart. This is measured in percentage. As per chart, the data is divided into three cohorts: people aged 18-34, 35-54 and over 55. This is important to notice that the most noticeable change involved the level of seeking out schools for their children and those sorting out a healthcare. More people acknowledged healthcare problem as the most difficult one while the converse appeared to be true for young people.

.
Saputra Putra   
Jan 18, 2016
Writing Feedback / IELTS TASK1 the percentage of recruitment of new-graduate students [2]

Hei bro:
French-language teaching had a slightly lower trend than an English-language job in the first year which stood at 70%. Even though witnessing a significant fall of 59% in a year to come, it gradually returned its trend starting in 2003 at roughly 68% and reaching its higher record of 75% in the end of the year.

An alternative :
At the beginning of the periode, a gap between a level of English and France teachers had narrowed down. However, in 2002, the converse appeared since France teachers' level successfully overtook the English teachers one. This was by far the highest proportion over the period in question.

The most noticeable change was seen in the bracket of France teachers' level, when the figure increased from roughly five out of ten to seven out of ten. Then, it reached a peak at approximately 72 % in the end of the time frame. In contrast, another proportion plunged extremely and hit a low of less than a third.


In contrast, an English-language job was more favorable choice for a first-year teacher in 2001. However, this rate fell significantly in the following two years. Though showing a slight increase from in 2005 at just over 40%, it ended by 10% to the lowest level during the end of the year.
Saputra Putra   
Jan 18, 2016
Writing Feedback / INTERNATIONAL GRADUATES FROM CANADIAN schools in the five years period (Ielts Task 1) [2]

A breakdown of the level of alteration for the foreign students' number who had graduated in different Canadian provinces is showed in the table graph. As per chart, the data is divided into two parts: 2001 and 2006. It is should be noticed that by far the highest proportion was the bracket of overseas students graduating from New Brunswick. While the percentage of Alberta's international students declined in the following year, the converse will appear to be true for other student's figure in other provinces.

A closer look at the information reveals those students' percentage from Province of New Brunswick broke a record as the highest proportion in both of years- 7 % in 2001 while more than one in ten in 2006. When it comes to the lowest figure, this was showed by Ontario in 2001 and Alberta in 2006, approximately 3 % and 4 % respectively. Interestingly, in 2006, the percentage of Alberta's foreign students had fallen by just over, one percent, while the percentage of other cohort alumni from different provinces had risen.

By far the most noticeable change was seen in the figures for those students in British Columbia when the figure increased from roughly 4 % to 10 %. The rest of overseas students' percentage-Nova Scotia, Quebec, Manitoba and Newfoundland & Labrador- showed the same upward over two years as well.




Saputra Putra   
Jan 18, 2016
Writing Feedback / The level of graduation student passed the examination in senior high school [2]

An alternative : A breakdown of the figure for the proportion of student who complete the exam of competency in secondary school between 2010 and 2011 is showed in bar chart. This is calculated by percentage. As per the chart, the data is divided into two parts: male and female. It is important to notice that cohort of female students' proportion in computer science broke a record as the highest level. While majority of the exam dominated by the percentage of female students, the converse will appear to be true for the examination of geography.
Saputra Putra   
Jan 18, 2016
Student Talk / Can you teach me how to write and speak in English... [11]

Hi Mariam,
first you have to read more since it will improve you vocabulary, I highly recommend you to read in some website that can provide you to read more 1 or 2 times every day. There are some website give a video, you can improve your English by watching it and it will be better if you write down what speaker say. This notion will improve you capacity in English. do the best, achieve the best.
Saputra Putra   
Jan 9, 2016
Writing Feedback / Don't judge something from the cover - the most important indication (writing task II) [4]

Some people say that the clothes people wear are the most important indication of what they are like. Others, however, say that people should not be judged by the clothes they wear.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.


Don't judge something from the cover, this quote means physical appearances can not describe human personality. While this notion leads some proponents to promote identifying someone from their clothes is wrong, others argue clothes mirror human's attitude since character play an important role in picking out some clothes to wear.

There is no doubt that fashion has influenced people's lives in many ways. Consequently, this becomes the main point to indicate what others are like since they believe clothes performs characteristic of some people. Evidence of this can be seen when most companies conduct an employee's enrollment. One of their assessments is clothes since the meaning of this is what candidates wear will show their performance in work. For this reason, this is going wrong since this notion gives rise to over judge and people will believe that clothes are a permanent indicator to identify human personality.

However, there are more convincing arguments in disfavor of such notion. First and foremost, it has been proven that human's personality is influenced by their decision making entire lives, not the clothes. Let takes Bob Sugino as a sample, a well-known Indonesian success person, he never wears formal clothes in their meeting albeit an important conference in which he will only wear a short since he believes clothes have not correlation with his capacity. Therefore, it will become worse if people only judge others with their suit.

In conclusion, it is evident clothes that people wear not important identification what there are like. Society must avoid this indicator since it will cause misunderstanding.
Saputra Putra   
Jan 9, 2016
Writing Feedback / Current era influences people to live in a sedentary lifestyle - it is not healthy (writing task II) [3]

Some people say that in the modern world it is very difficult for people to have a healthy lifestyle. Others, however, say that it is easy for people to be healthy and fit if they want to be.

Current era influences people to live in a sedentary lifestyle. Some people claim such issue is utterly acceptable since human depends extremely on simple a life offered by modern world, while some opponents promote this argument is going wrong because having a healthy life depends on people's effort.

With concern to finalize a list of ambitious daily plans, average people nowadays are unable to pay attention on their diet and do hard exercise as well. As a result, this issue is bound to lead a human to a sedentary lifestyle. Evidence of this can be seen in typical worldwide residents who prefer to consume sandwich or other instant foods rather than cook a healthy nutritious diet since they do not have enough time. According to Infographics, a well-known television show, there are 160.000 fast food restaurants in the USA with 50.000.000 consumers per day which is believed by a researcher as the reflection of sedentary lifestyle. It is more or less the same with exercise since international herald tribune newspaper reveals over 350 million cases of depression worldwide are affected by lack of exercise. Therefore, lack of healthy diet and exercise go into the sedentary lifestyle.

However, some people tend to convince others that having a healthy life are truly possible if people take consistent steps to achieve it. The research which is conducted by Leeds University found that 45% of people fail to cut down on an unhealthy life since they do not have a strong effort. Researcher said that the first step to take this action is by believing in an effort. Thus, a good result in an attempt to cut off people's sedentary habit requires a high belief and a true effort.

To sum up, the lack of healthy food and exercise becomes an obstacle for human to maintain their lives. Some alternatives are offered but all of them are useless without a strong belief in order to perform a good effort.
Saputra Putra   
Jan 9, 2016
Writing Feedback / Aims and Objectives of a Business - is it the funds only? [2]

The purpose of businesses is to make money ad they should concentrate only on this. Do you agree or disagree ?

With concern to become a giant manufacturer, worldwide businesses compete to dominate their rivals. Obviously, this notion leads some proponents to promote that earning money should become their priority, but it is not always true. In my opinion, it is claimed corporate have a responsibility to ensure society life.

Supporters of this notion argue that this will result in a reduction in other types of outcome and thus solve the problems of financial. This is because a fund would make the cost of improving company decline, which will, they claim, lead to a decrease in supply. Also, if this means funding on people life so their rivals will leave them behind, then this take priority over saving money. Furthermore, it is believed by some company in the ambitious plan to expand their businesses, so if they have to restrain a fund, then this seems acceptable.

However, I do not believe these arguments stand up to humanity. The predominant reason is that it has been shown on numerous occasions by filming or video in border areas, remote areas or suburbs via human right groups that poverty and famine are suffered by inhabitants. With concern of this, other parties should play a prominent role including business in order to maintain human life. Late takes Google's company as a sample, 25 % from their annual income will use up for charity. Therefore, again, having to save money to company expand without concern for humanity is not an inappropriate argument.

To sum up, although some people argue saving fund for expanding the business is acceptable. I would argue there is sufficient evidence to prove that this not ethical, and, therefore, steps must be taken to fight on human life.
Saputra Putra   
Jan 9, 2016
Writing Feedback / An electronic communication gives a rise to a poor relation between citizens with others. [2]

The use pf electronic media has a negative effect on personal relationship between people. To what extent do you agree or disagree

An electronic communication gives a rise to a poor relation between citizens with others. While I believe this is utterly acceptable since they are keen to utilize such device rather than meeting face to face, but this notion also leads some opponents to promote that technology simplify keeping in touch with colleague or family.

Those that disapprove this issue argue that communication by using media of electronic has opened up some merits, benefiting saving time and having a new relation. Firstly, they claim persons who have a long distance relation with their family or friends may be able to maintain their relationship when they can improve the intensity of having a conversation by using such electronic. In addition, they argue that people worldwide can establish a new relation albeit have different region or island since electronic communication breaks the limitation of distance.

However, I would argue that demerits of this electronic do not make a positive relationship. One of the biggest problems in the relation among humans in the world today is insensitivity, and one of the major contributors to this is a poor personal relationship. Arthur M. Sackler Colloquia, a researcher from New Castle University, said a long-standing relationship needs interpersonal communication. He believes relationship live and die not by the sword, but the amount of direct discussion since such communication is the only way giving compromise and participation in relation. Therefore, the long-term relation between humans with others is given by interpersonal direct communication.

In conclusion, as human live in the poor relationship due to electronic communication. It is suggested that humans consider tackling this problem. In fact, face to face communication plays an important role in maintaining the relationship. It is imperative that more attention should be paid on human communication.