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Stanford Essay #2: Roommate Essay

6 - *really wants to do a stanford application himself* I think your whole idea is wonderful! I can't really...

Undergraduateluu123 - Nov 29, 2009ootlink - Nov 29, 2009
UC Prompt 2: My Undying Passion (sport)

6 - Revised...feedback is much appreciated!!! This essay now has 467 and my other essay has 690(Ludicrous: My Childhood) so ideas...

UndergraduateJanelle - Nov 29, 2009Janelle - Nov 29, 2009
'what consumers should purchase' Stanford: Idea/Experience Intellectually Engaging

7 - Hey guys, i've revised it a little, tell me what you thiink! Any thoughts? :) :) :) ...

Undergraduateluu123 - Nov 29, 2009luu123 - Nov 29, 2009
UC 2: Being a Judoka

4 - At the start of this essay, you should write a thoughtful sentence about what it is like to work...

Undergraduatecryingpiggy - Nov 29, 2009EF_Kevin - Nov 30, 2009
Five Qualities that define you!

2 - I'm assuming that these are simple grammar mistakes because english is not your first language? initiating a...

Undergraduatedbsqudtlr - Nov 29, 2009protesturhero - Nov 29, 2009
"the SHCP Women's Tennis team" - UC PERSONAL STATEMENT for undergrads

3 - One experience I am truly proud of is being a part of the SHCP Women's Tennis team. you...

Undergraduatehiceeeee927 - Nov 29, 2009KW3EN - Nov 29, 2009
Activities: Job at a Filipino Restaurant [Common App]

3 - In that first line, important is not as good a word as satisfying or meaningful. What is it you...

Undergraduatemarcabundo - Nov 29, 2009EF_Kevin - Nov 30, 2009
'USA business and economics' - UC Personal Statement

5 - Comma: I was born and raised in southern California , but I trace my roots back to my home...

Undergraduatearsenal924 - Nov 29, 2009EF_Kevin - Nov 30, 2009
A challenge I overcame through persistence

2 - Nice essay. Good way to describe the situation and reflect. However, i believe you can improve your last paragraph...

Undergraduatexxgraceanxx - Nov 29, 2009ssuraj - Nov 29, 2009
UC Prompt 1 (change the world)

2 - As Rabbi Lynn and I began our conversation she stated a point that would always stick in my mind...

UndergraduateHaderdaraide - Nov 28, 2009xxgraceanxx - Nov 28, 2009
"Guided by the String" - UC Prompt 2 about brain injured woman

6 - like another poster said, what have you learned from your experience with Susan? minor correction in this sentence......

Undergraduatejampamz - Nov 28, 2009zling - Nov 30, 2009
Overcoming My Shyness - I overcame my diffidence

4 - thank you :D...

Undergraduatemsprettyodd - Nov 28, 2009msprettyodd - Nov 29, 2009
Psychology - UC Prompt 1 for transfer students

5 - I'm not sure that the U in university should be capitalized if it is all alone. Also, I...

Undergraduatekcooney - Nov 28, 2009Rod_Farva - Nov 29, 2009
"I learned to give myself to something" - personal essay- Question 1

4 - Thank you so much, Jeannie. I really appreciated the time you took for these revisions =]...

Undergraduatereina92 - Nov 28, 2009reina92 - Nov 29, 2009
UC Prompt #1 - Transfer - Psychology

5 - Communication among my loved ones has always been the stepping stone for my ambition in psychology. I guess...

Undergraduatenojelly - Nov 28, 2009EF_Kevin - Nov 30, 2009
UC2: Falling in love with Fictional Men

4 - i agree with gynn92..this is a very unique essay and i loved ur orlando bloom start. i also think...

UndergraduateHaru21 - Nov 28, 2009channy - Nov 28, 2009
My essay about my Irish culture and interest in Irish dance

4 - 1.0 - Unreadable 10.0 - Engrossing 4.4 The prompt you provided undercuts your essay, almost to make it...

Undergraduatesarahmc18 - Nov 28, 2009Mustafa1991 - Nov 28, 2009
"my dream and aspiration to become Doctor" - UC prompt #1

8 - thanks alot for the input, i agree that im over thinking this alot... @dcarreno1 UCSB, UC Davis,...

UndergraduateAglod516 - Nov 28, 2009Aglod516 - Nov 28, 2009
UC Prompt 2 "My left hand lay cramped as a deformed claw" Cons. Criticism wanted

5 - Nice description to start the paper with, but it's a little bit confusing. But the rest of the...

Undergraduateswub - Nov 28, 2009gynn92 - Nov 28, 2009
overprotective parents-UC prompt #1

4 - I agree, you didn't say what your dreams were. Also, your ending is very...how can I put it...like...

Undergraduatepinkxp92 - Nov 28, 2009karyenu - Nov 28, 2009
UC Irvine Personal Statement Supplement Nursing Program: Time with Su Ping

9 - Thanks for your help, I'm revising it and will post it up as soon as I'm done....

Undergraduatekaryenu - Nov 28, 2009karyenu - Nov 28, 2009
countless 'ruined' women - Macaulay Essay

NEW - the prompt is talk about a local national or international concern and its impact on you moments before...

Undergraduatefarhanaxp - Nov 28, 2009 -
UC prompt 1: Gunn High

2 - The focus of school has slowly been shiftinghas been shifted from getting a good education now to getting a...

Undergraduatecache189 - Nov 28, 2009dcarreno1 - Nov 28, 2009
Common app essay! "political science"

2 - ...I have inherited a unique perspective towards the world that has shaped my life ... It changed my...

Undergraduatepacers7ind - Nov 28, 2009EF_Susan - Nov 29, 2009
"My Family" - USC: WHAT MATTERS TO ME AND WHY

6 - i want to create a new post! this ones too messy but here's the almost final draft if anyone...

Undergraduategksquf45 - Nov 28, 2009gksquf45 - Nov 29, 2009
Every person's American Dream may be different in scope; the American Dream - UT

5 - It's better to write all people instead of all men. Don't perpetuate old, gender-oppressive language. Complete this...

Undergraduateut2010 - Nov 28, 2009EF_Kevin - Nov 30, 2009
USC Prompt 3 (reflect on a challenge you overcame through persistence)

7 - I don't think you really answered the prompt. It says "a challenge you overcame through persistence." If your challenge...

Undergraduatedoug - Nov 28, 2009Paranoia6583 - Nov 29, 2009
"The day of the marathon" - Help with Prompt 2 of the UC application

4 - Students Run L.A. helped me achieve one of my personal goals(You should mention what your personal goal was).. this...

Undergraduatejj_16 - Nov 28, 2009doug - Nov 28, 2009
Reviewing LOR for my student in computer science

4 - ...where it was approved by the judges with A+ score. For these reasons, I strongly recommend him for...

Graduatemahdi1984 - Nov 28, 2009EF_Kevin - Nov 30, 2009
"how I grow up"-review and specification is need for this essay--UC#

3 - I am sitting on a typical Boeing 747 which is heade d from China back to United States. ...

Undergraduatextyxty - Nov 28, 2009EF_Kevin - Nov 30, 2009
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