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A difficult accomplishment that you are proud of

6 - Try rewriting the essay, only taking a more narrative approach. The best way to describe a story is by...

Undergraduatetobesky - Aug 13, 2009EF_Sean - Aug 23, 2009
"Swim coach Marks" - Admission essay 2 for UT

8 - I agree with the other comments-I think the essay is very well-written. Your voice really comes through in your...

UndergraduateMoreJosh - Aug 13, 20092010nbailey - Aug 14, 2009
"to have clear & consistent values" - FSU "Vires, Artes, Mores"

3 - And if you could then show how Mores leads to or supports Vires and Artes, then your essay would...

Undergraduatekks - Aug 13, 2009EF_Sean - Aug 15, 2009
"Wildfires in Texas" - admission essay for UT

6 - this essay is very good. at first i thought o boyy, heres another essay beginning with descrpition, but then...

UndergraduateMoreJosh - Aug 13, 2009tal105 - Aug 13, 2009
Something you are passionate about

10 - Right. While it's not a good idea to compose an essay in your first language and then translate, preliminary...

Essaystobesky - Aug 13, 2009EF_Simone - Aug 21, 2009
Essay about important characteristics of a co-worker.

5 - ok, right, when I compare with the past, this characteristic is as vital as now. thanks...

Writing Feedbackarsdtbk - Aug 13, 2009arsdtbk - Aug 14, 2009
"how we manage these imperfections" - Umich setback essay

18 - How about trying something concrete and specific? I would be so myself, but I naturally don't know the concrete...

Undergraduatelexi_z - Aug 13, 2009EF_Sean - Sep 7, 2009
"Observing or studying animals" - how to find some standpoints on a topic?

4 - Thank you guys sooooooooo much! I appriciate that. Anyhow, I hope this topic wouldn't appear in my test... I'm...

EssaysYanzi - Aug 13, 2009Yanzi - Aug 13, 2009
Purdue personal statement - interest in science

15 - i agree with all the comments here, making it more specific and haveing a more solid ending would really...

UndergraduateKaleb92 - Aug 13, 2009bboysmiles - Aug 17, 2009
Managemement Report: CSR

4 - No. We aren't here to write your reports for you, but to help you write your own. Come...

Essaysyogs_varsani - Aug 13, 2009EF_Sean - Aug 21, 2009
Values & Theroretical Perspectives In Society

5 - Thanks for the tips...

EssaysElleStar - Aug 13, 2009ElleStar - Aug 14, 2009
"the California State Summer School for the Arts" - TELL ME WHAT YOU THINK

3 - K thanx :]...

UndergraduateLesleigh101 - Aug 13, 2009Lesleigh101 - Aug 13, 2009
"Good morning, visitors!"

10 - I wonder about gender. Starting in puberty, girls start to downplay their skills and achievements while boys tend to...

Undergraduatezay - Aug 13, 2009EF_Simone - Aug 14, 2009
"About being American" - UC Essay Prompt #1.

9 - yeah i think the ending ideas are a good start (you basically got the idea down).. but the problem...

Undergraduatehakyo - Aug 13, 2009ninnin - Aug 28, 2009
"My world, consisting of the people" - UC Personal Statement Prompt #1

2 - I'm sorry to hear that, because your introduction needs work. For what it's worth, I'll tell you what...

Undergraduateclownfish - Aug 13, 2009EF_Simone - Aug 13, 2009
Should I include names in my essay?

7 - i like it! butt heres some things you may want to consider if your doing the common app online,...

Undergraduateppthecat - Aug 13, 2009tal105 - Aug 14, 2009
"pet proposes man disposes" - TOEFL: Should pets be treated as family members?

4 - I mean that pet is appealing and human like it. From what you said, I know I use wrong...

Writing Feedbackalwaysholly - Aug 12, 2009alwaysholly - Aug 18, 2009
My cover letter (a dietary supplement company in Auckland)

9 - Very helpful,thanks.I didn't know this before, thanks for sharing with me!...

Letterslynn - Aug 12, 2009lynn - Aug 24, 2009
Old saying; 'experience is the best teacher' -Review for CLEP

11 - Should be an "are" here because of the word "and". ____________________________________________________________ _______________________ I would suggest including...

Writing Feedbacktg2009 - Aug 12, 2009JunYuan - Aug 26, 2009
"Justice can only exist when people obey laws that are not to their liking."

3 - Simone is right -- you need to start by defining what you mean by "justice". Virtually any definition you...

Writing FeedbackKahollavan81 - Aug 12, 2009EF_Sean - Aug 16, 2009
Globalization of healthcare; responsibilites parents -Medical school essays Help

2 - Both of these essays are very strong in content. I invite everyone to help you fix up the grammar....

GraduateDanistheman - Aug 12, 2009EF_Simone - Aug 12, 2009
"my Girl Scout leaders" - university of florida addmision essay.

5 - S orry,I suck at the w hole writ ing thing (obviously) and I don' t feel like I should...

Undergraduatejokichrun - Aug 12, 2009EF_Simone - Aug 13, 2009
"the personal consumption of butter" - IELTS task 1 Homework 1

2 - This graph shows the personal consumption (in grams) of butter, margarine and low-fat or reduced-fat spreads per week [omit...

Writing FeedbackAnne25 - Aug 12, 2009EF_Simone - Aug 12, 2009
Common Application Essay #1/Skating

6 - Thanks for the input. I realize that the essay needs a title. Any thoughts on this: ...

Undergraduatezeb1234 - Aug 12, 2009zeb1234 - Aug 14, 2009
"Difference challenges assumption" - UMich admission eassy

7 - I don't have any more to say. This is a very strong essay. Probably, you're not getting many comments...

Undergraduatefat_b - Aug 12, 2009EF_Simone - Aug 15, 2009
Failing in school - Significant experience

10 - This is probably too negative for an application essay on this topic. You were a lazy student who did...

Undergraduateeect13 - Aug 12, 2009EF_Sean - Aug 15, 2009
My parent's smile and joy- experiences that helped to define you as a person

5 - We can't help you construct an opening sentence because we don't understand what you posted so far and have...

Undergraduatems_bella - Aug 12, 2009EF_Simone - Aug 13, 2009
I LOVE HISTORY; Cornell college of Arts and Sciences essay

3 - Start here....

Undergraduatedevbn4444 - Aug 12, 2009EF_Simone - Aug 12, 2009
"My technical focus" - MBA Essay Review

6 - The example is your first sentence. Who or what is the subject of that sentence? A stint. According to...

Graduateprasun8463 - Aug 12, 2009EF_Simone - Aug 13, 2009
What do you consider your most significant life achievement (travel to Pakistan)

4 - Liebe There is a word Limit of 200 so I did not have much to show personal...

Graduateprasun8463 - Aug 12, 2009prasun8463 - Aug 12, 2009
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