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"I am not a "nobody" - UC Prompt 2

3 - That was what I told myself when I decided to run for a position in the executive committee of...

Undergraduatewongxy - Nov 29, 2008EF_Kevin - Nov 30, 2008
'passion for saxophone' - Additional Information about Myself

3 - Thank you so much! It helped a lot^^...

Undergraduateop2607 - Nov 28, 2008op2607 - Nov 29, 2008
'Ready, OK!' - Cheer UC admissions Essay

2 - Lets put these words in quotation marks: "Ready, Ok!" These are the words... Also, I corrected this...

Undergraduatejessicagomez - Nov 28, 2008EF_Kevin - Nov 29, 2008
Inspiring Book that Changed My Life (holocausts)

2 - I recommend Man's Search for Meaning by Frankl!! About this essay, I think you could add one final...

Undergraduateop2607 - Nov 28, 2008EF_Kevin - Nov 29, 2008
SAIC Personal statement - your personal vision

2 - Hi, what you wrote is all good, but you need to choose carefully what to include in this statement...

Undergraduatepsypsy - Nov 28, 2008EF_Kevin - Nov 29, 2008
UT ESSAYS - Leadership, Setback, Challenge

5 - the first essay...you kept mentioning "the club", what is this club? Frankly, i think you need to revise...

UndergraduateZoeL14 - Nov 28, 2008trinilissabee - Dec 10, 2008
help with essay for aboard

4 - With the enormous population in Beijing it has various ethnic groups, races and tribes. I am currently taking...

Writing Feedbackcutepandagirl - Nov 28, 2008EF_Kevin - Nov 29, 2008
At young age, my relationship with my father heavily influenced my choice in pursuing Nursing Major

5 - Just a few things to correct: My father reassured me that my company helped eased his pain, and...

UndergraduateMIGotyou - Nov 28, 2008EF_Kevin - Dec 12, 2008
UC Prompt #1 - "Abacus, Plastic Coins"

2 - Hello, nice job! I would like to have you add one sentence to the first paragraph: Right here,...

Undergraduateannaywannay - Nov 28, 2008EF_Kevin - Nov 29, 2008
"No pneumonia" - Common App #6---There are worse things

3 - I like this essay. It's a very great essay. And in the last sentence you wrote "Perhaps I celebrated...

Undergraduatebhangra369 - Nov 28, 2008fabxx - Nov 29, 2008
English as a barrier, a freshmen; "Never say you failed without trying"

5 - "Never say you failed without trying," I mumbled to myself in front of the mirror. I was about to...

Undergraduatejulia_0609 - Nov 28, 2008EF_Kevin - Dec 11, 2008
Personal statement- what i would bring to diversity in the Rice community

3 - Okay thank you! I'll try to make it more focused and powerful. Yeah I was afraid it wasn't...

Undergraduateaz2845 - Nov 28, 2008az2845 - Nov 29, 2008
"Look around the world more broadly." - UC PROMPT #1

NEW - PROMPT: Describe the world you come from - for example, your family, community or school - and tell us...

Undergraduatecandyapple - Nov 28, 2008 -
UC(#2) "Pushed Over the Edge"

3 - thank you!!!! for the advice...

Undergraduatealexteele - Nov 28, 2008alexteele - Nov 29, 2008
"the experience of mastering Tae Kwon Do" - UC Prompt: Essay 2

4 - When you have time, check out some books by Dr. Yang Jwing Ming, if you have not already. He...

UndergraduateBatou - Nov 28, 2008EF_Kevin - Nov 29, 2008
UC Transfer Prompt #1, Psychology Major

5 - Ah thanks! I actually submitted it already, a bit early just to make sure I was able to...

UndergraduateBatou - Nov 28, 2008Batou - Nov 29, 2008
Earthwatch experience.... Personal Statement number 2!

2 - Hello, I took out some unnecessary words, but you can trim it down much further. Take out the...

UndergraduateNickle - Nov 28, 2008EF_Kevin - Nov 29, 2008
"a freshman who hated Chinese"; "chicken on fire" - UC PROMPT 1 & 2

8 - Wow, great essay. No, I have no changes to suggest. You write very well!...

Undergraduategman450 - Nov 28, 2008EF_Kevin - Nov 30, 2008
a setback that you have faced and how it was resolved - essay

3 - Thanks so much...and what do you mean don't make UM sound like highschool? Do you have any suggestions for...

Undergraduatepianogirl_5 - Nov 28, 2008pianogirl_5 - Nov 28, 2008
I am proud of my open mindedness - "Working With Different Scenarios"

6 - thanks. good resource. i will try to keep all of these tips in mind....

UndergraduateTheFlameProof - Nov 28, 2008TheFlameProof - Nov 28, 2008
"The things I've said" - a poem about writing

2 - Thanks for posting this! I like it. I hesitate to offer suggestions for change. Some punctuation would be nice,...

PoetryTheFlameProof - Nov 28, 2008EF_Kevin - Nov 29, 2008
Double-major in music / Political science major - Emory and Duke essays

2 - I like the forthright way you explained how Emory became a point of reference after having been the first...

UndergraduateNikhil - Nov 28, 2008EF_Kevin - Nov 28, 2008
to give myself to the world - does this essay fit the prompt?

2 - Great essay! It is more entertaining than most essays. Try not to start sentences with articles (i.e "and,"...

Undergraduatembhaire - Nov 28, 2008EF_Kevin - Nov 28, 2008
Santorini, Personal Statement

5 - Since you made the trip possible for yourself, maybe you should talk about how you made it possible and...

Undergraduatemrl - Nov 28, 2008anastasiab17 - Nov 28, 2008
prompt 1 (UC schools) any corrections/advice needed

NEW - The only life I have ever known has taken place in the city I will always call home, Carlsbad....

Undergraduatemrl - Nov 28, 2008 -
The irrevocable statement of John Hersey "success starts with a failure" is locomotion of achievers.

12 - nan the essay asks about an issue so why dont u talk about either the history, culture or origin...

Undergraduatenanayaws - Nov 28, 2008afuaobenewa - Dec 13, 2008
"we need to follow our dreams" - UT Topic B: An issue of importance...

NEW - The topic is this: Choose an issue of importance to you-the issue could be personal, school related, local, political,...

UndergraduateRden - Nov 28, 2008 -
UC prompt #1 - ""Are you two twins?"

5 - - Does it flow? (good transitions) You have a very distinguished style and it is portrayed quite vividly in...

Undergraduatesaviorknights - Nov 28, 2008Pen Name - Nov 28, 2008
College community experience & diversity - Common App Prompt 5 question

2 - Here is a good trick. Take a story that requires 2 paragraphs to tell, and try to tell it...

UndergraduateSwami - Nov 28, 2008EF_Kevin - Nov 28, 2008
What tutoring means to me - Common App Short Answer

10 - Business can be art. What kind of art do you like? Write an essay that expresses an interest in...

Undergraduatecheeku - Nov 28, 2008EF_Kevin - Jan 11, 2010
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