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Writing Feedback

Research advice on TOEFL, SAT, IELTS, GRE and other academic essays (page 2)

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The process of producing cement and making concrete which is raw material from cement for building

5 - Hello Anabel, I'm also practicing the IELTS writing so I just can show you some small but basic mistakes....

Writing Feedbackanabel - Feb 8, 2017 / yennhihoang2712 - Feb 10, 2017
PTE essay: Is it foolish to get married before completing studies

7 - Thank you Mary, you are absolutely right! I will take the suggestions and try new practice....

Writing Feedbackfoyuliu - Feb 9, 2017 / foyuliu - Feb 10, 2017
Task 1.The diagram shows how raw materials are used to make plastic products. Summarise the diagram.

3 - Hi Minh, welcome to Essay Forum which is one of the best sites for improving your ability. I know...

Writing FeedbackMinh Ngoc - Feb 8, 2017 / akbarmappiare - Feb 10, 2017
In the complex, industrial society nowadays, the quality of life is deteriorating

2 - To, you are becoming sloppy with your paraphrasing. You did not even bother to try and paraphrase the prompt...

Writing Feedbackmaitouyen1 - Feb 9, 2017 / Holt - Feb 9, 2017
Is it right to exclude males or females from certain professions because of their gender?

12 - @anabel Yeah I should be more careful with commas and learn punctuation rules in general. The missing article was...

Writing Feedbackshohruhbek - Feb 7, 2017 / shohruhbek - Feb 8, 2017
Unemployment is inevitable issue in the society, especially among school leavers

5 - The main problem with your essay is the opening statement. It does not contain the correct information. The opening...

Writing Feedbackrozhnaz - Feb 8, 2017 / Holt - Feb 8, 2017
Does the punishment required in order to educate a children?

4 - @Riyan Mudastsir 'know whether is right and wrong' is grammatically incorrect because there is no subject. I believe you...

Writing FeedbackRiyan Mudastsir - Feb 8, 2017 / shohruhbek - Feb 8, 2017
IELTS Task 1; Percentage of British Students able to speak languages other than English, 2000-2010

6 - Hello Mariana, I'd like to say that your work is commendable as it had both the overview and the...

Writing Feedbackmariana13 - Feb 6, 2017 / yennhihoang2712 - Feb 8, 2017
IELTS (unpaid work is important for the young people?)

6 - Thank you very much for taking the time to review my essay. Your input and feedback are vitally important...

Writing Feedbackrozhnaz - Feb 7, 2017 / rozhnaz - Feb 8, 2017
Is our government should provide a high level of health care for all its citizens?

4 - Kalmia, I am glad to see that you gave writing this topic another try. I am specially pleased to...

Writing Feedbacklittle kitten - Jan 19, 2017 / Holt - Feb 8, 2017
Playing computer games is a waste of time. Children should not be allowed to play them.

5 - @Holt Thanks for your feedback, mate! I really appreciate!...

Writing Feedbackaloha21 - Feb 8, 2017 / aloha21 - Feb 8, 2017
The pie chart describe the degradation of agricultural land productivity in the worldwide.

6 - Hi Anabel, You should add the part of overall or conclusion in Task 01 because this part is important....

Writing Feedbackanabel - Feb 7, 2017 / Minh Ngoc - Feb 8, 2017
Life is adventure, and adventure is a challenge.

3 - Miftah, sorry to say but there are lots of corrections needed in your essay and therefore, my suggestion is...

Writing FeedbackKing_mif - Feb 8, 2017 / ichanpants89 - Feb 8, 2017
Ability of Various Language for British Students - data based on the charts presented

4 - @Holt, Thank you so much for your comments. May I know when should I use past tense and when...

Writing FeedbackJanicelo - Feb 6, 2017 / Janicelo - Feb 8, 2017
The propotion of elder people aged 65 and over in three different countries

3 - Fadhil, you have written a very interesting report. It is not mechanical in nature because it shows a clear...

Writing Feedbackfadhilmd25 - Nov 10, 2016 / Holt - Feb 8, 2017
Increasing use of vehicles contributes to air pollution and leads to an overuse of natural resources

3 - Hey Maitouyen!! Overall an ok essay. I think your conclusion is pretty solid. But the introduction can be...

Writing Feedbackmaitouyen1 - Feb 7, 2017 / DoctorWho - Feb 7, 2017
Total School Spending in the United Kingdom during three separate decades

3 - Hey Anabel. Time distribution is very important. Firstly read up on the entire material given and then focus...

Writing Feedbackanabel - Feb 7, 2017 / DoctorWho - Feb 7, 2017
Topic about different standard for performance of male and female

5 - @anabel Thanks. I will try the best to limited my grammar mistakes....

Writing Feedbackthuy_nguyet - Feb 7, 2017 / thuy_nguyet - Feb 7, 2017
A healthy lifestyle or dependence on doctors and medicines? Writing task 2 IELTS

6 - For instance, it could be harmful when someone who ... In my opinion the idea of this sentence is...

Writing FeedbackrezaES - Feb 7, 2017 / rozhnaz - Feb 7, 2017
People get information through news, but meanwhile are uncertain about the truth of these news

6 - @ainunazwaria Hi! I am learning IELTS too so I do not have so many experiences, but I can...

Writing Feedbackainunazwaria - Feb 7, 2017 / maitouyen1 - Feb 7, 2017
Development and rapid expansion of supermarkets make many local businesses unfit to compete

5 - @Holt Thank you for the feedback, I really appreciate your comments , cheers!...

Writing Feedbackkitis - Feb 5, 2017 / kitis - Feb 7, 2017
Who should care more about our health if not we ourselves? IELTS writing task II about healthy life

4 - Apart from above comments, I just want to add that your introduction is quite long, even longer than main...

Writing Feedbackrezamei - Feb 7, 2017 / adamrahimov - Feb 7, 2017
BAR & LINE GRAPH - three dimensions on the screens

3 - Gigih, I believe that there was a better way to write this essay which would have improved your overall...

Writing Feedbackgigihes - Feb 7, 2017 / Holt - Feb 7, 2017
As the proverb goes "Union is strength", we owe to co-operating for our existence.

5 - Hai adam. The main point of the question is about children. Yet, your idea in the first and...

Writing Feedbackadamrahimov - Jan 30, 2017 / ainunazwaria - Feb 7, 2017
Journey of learning English

6 - @Holt @ichanpants89 @thuy_nguyet I will make opinion about creative industrys role in the world. As modern generation We should...

Writing FeedbackKing_mif - Feb 7, 2017 / King_mif - Feb 7, 2017
PTE: Over a billion adults legally smoke tobacco. The long term health costs are high - for smokers

8 - Thank you @Holt, without your comments I could not realize how bad my essay was. I will keep practice...

Writing Feedbackfoyuliu - Feb 1, 2017 / foyuliu - Feb 7, 2017
IELTS TASK 2 - the reason why do fewer and fewer people appreciate art and how to solve it

4 - @gayan1991 This is actually a wrong thing to do. You can see the rules of the forum. You...

Writing Feedbackayuriska - Jan 25, 2017 / ichanpants89 - Feb 7, 2017
IELTS Practice task 2 - History education and its importance

4 - As an additional feedback to improve your band score later on, you can write a more appropriate introduction paragraph....

Writing FeedbackJane N - Feb 3, 2017 / ichanpants89 - Feb 7, 2017
The crucial part of being happy lies in one's everyday attitude towards life.

5 - @Ssakshijain Thank you for reading my writing. As I am more familiar with verbal english, I have difficult with...

Writing Feedbackchikachika - Feb 5, 2017 / chikachika - Feb 6, 2017
The percentage of Australians from six different household types struggling with poverty in 1999

4 - There are many ways that you can help others here at the forum even if you do not have...

Writing Feedbackyennhihoang2712 - Feb 6, 2017 / Holt - Feb 6, 2017
Pie Chart Task 1 IELTS Sample: typical house spendings in Japan and Malaysia

9 - Hi Baso, Despite those grammatical mistakes, I think you essay is not solid enough. The way you compare two...

Writing Feedbackbasohamdanianis - Jan 4, 2017 / MH_tw - Feb 6, 2017
IELTS Writing Task 2 - Punishment for Children and impact on their development

6 - Hi Janice. I think your essay is very clear and well paragraphed. Though you could use more vocabularies, your...

Writing FeedbackJanicelo - Feb 3, 2017 / MH_tw - Feb 6, 2017
"You can learn about the character of a country from the way that treat animal" - Practice again

5 - @Holt Thanks for your advice. I will limit the first pronoun....

Writing Feedbackthuy_nguyet - Feb 5, 2017 / thuy_nguyet - Feb 6, 2017
Task 2 ielts People often wonder whether money brings happiness or not

8 - Hi To, I think your essay is really good, the arguments are supported by a series of evidences and...

Writing Feedbackmaitouyen1 - Feb 3, 2017 / Janicelo - Feb 6, 2017
IELTS Task 1. Six pie charts about water usage worldwide

7 - hello. here my advice for your writing .. (: 1. as far as i concern, a good paragraph consists...

Writing Feedbackmariana13 - Feb 1, 2017 / Pramudia27 - Feb 6, 2017
The bar chart compares the projected and actual criminal incidents in 2009 and 2018.

4 - Hi Daniette, I am gonna try offering advice for improvement of your writing. I appreciate your effort to present...

Writing Feedbackforbetterdani - Feb 5, 2017 / akbarmappiare - Feb 6, 2017
First college essay, 10 years since high school. Descriptive essay for basic English 101

4 - Yes, the presentation of the "Here we go." statement is exactly what I meant. The same goes for the...

Writing Feedbackjmack3d - Feb 5, 2017 / Holt - Feb 6, 2017
Gender equality has been achieved? Unlikely.

3 - Daniette, while your paraphrasing an opinion in the opening statement is commendable, it is a bit faulty because you...

Writing Feedbackforbetterdani - Feb 5, 2017 / Holt - Feb 6, 2017
Rapid expansion of supermarkets in some countries, many small, local business are unable to compete

2 - You have good skill of paraphrasing. Your position in introduction is clear enough. However, you need to improve the...

Writing Feedbackjaikrishna12 - Feb 5, 2017 / forbetterdani - Feb 5, 2017
Wrtiting Task 1 IELTS The title of population in developed countries and developing countries

9 - Hai Dayat! You have already written about 155 words on your writing but the content of your essay...

Writing FeedbackDayat - Dec 30, 2016 / ainunazwaria - Feb 5, 2017
Teaching foreign languages at primary school should be optional rather than compulsory. Ielts task 2

9 - @Holt Thanks again for your time and explainations which are very important for me :)...

Writing Feedbackadamrahimov - Feb 5, 2017 / adamrahimov - Feb 5, 2017
Investing more on railways means investing in a safer future for us and our children

3 - Thanks for your advice @Holt...

Writing Feedbackmariana13 - Feb 2, 2017 / mariana13 - Feb 3, 2017
Percentage of different types of energy used and their greenhouse emission in Australian household

3 - Holt, thank you for your comments and I will put more effort on my structure....

Writing FeedbackJanicelo - Feb 2, 2017 / Janicelo - Feb 3, 2017
The Line graphs of how much people in UK and US to spend on Petrol

8 - Diaz, good work on presenting more than the minimum number of words in your essay. That said, you should...

Writing FeedbackDiazalichsan - Jan 5, 2017 / Holt - Feb 3, 2017
Parents often wonder whether they ought to let their children spend time on TV, video and PC games

13 - To, you finally responded to the essay properly. This is the very discussion format that you should use for...

Writing Feedbackmaitouyen1 - Feb 2, 2017 / Holt - Feb 3, 2017
Given pie charts compare the number of inhabitants in Yemen and Italy in 2000

5 - Ayu, why are you indicating the information in the essay based upon thousands of percent when he chart is...

Writing Feedbackayuriska - Jan 13, 2017 / Holt - Feb 2, 2017
The graph below shows the amount of waste produced by three companies over a period of 15 years

6 - Hong, you could have produced a more informative essay if you had discussed the waste production of companies B...

Writing Feedbackhongnguyentp92 - Jan 11, 2017 / Holt - Feb 2, 2017
[IELTS task 2] Lack of Learning languages and children development in the modern society

5 - The main problem with your essay Ken, is that you did not really understand the prompt. If you can,...

Writing Feedbackkenthai - Feb 1, 2017 / Holt - Feb 2, 2017
task 2 ielts - celebrity's privacy; should every rumour of the famous be published by media?

5 - To, try to not type the prompt into the box. That is usually how these mistakes occur. Whenever possible,...

Writing Feedbackmaitouyen1 - Feb 1, 2017 / Holt - Feb 1, 2017
Essay Writing. Methods to integrate modern ways of transportation.

2 - Ayman, I am assuming that you posted the wrong prompt instructions to go with the essay that you developed....

Writing Feedbackabohashim2003 - Feb 1, 2017 / Holt - Feb 1, 2017
Family, television and friends are important factors in child's development. Task 2 ielts

5 - @Holt Thank you very much...

Writing Feedbackmaitouyen1 - Jan 31, 2017 / maitouyen1 - Jan 31, 2017
Some people think that reducing air travel is the best way to protect environment

5 - Chathuri, in an opinion essay that asks you to either agree or disagree to a particular degree, you must...

Writing Feedbackchathuri1982 - Jan 24, 2017 / Holt - Jan 31, 2017
Minimum age limit for driving - Discussion

6 - very good, everyone has his own point of view and understanding of a topic, you shown yours, I may...

Writing Feedbackahamad17 - Jan 26, 2017 / mariana13 - Jan 31, 2017
Around the world people are working more than ever. Is spending more time at work beneficial?

3 - Luong, you have written an extremely well researched essay. Normally, I would congratulate you on such a well written...

Writing Feedbackduongbaluong - Jan 31, 2017 / Holt - Jan 31, 2017
Researching the Internet - I practice for my TOEFL writing

5 - @Holt Thanks so much. I really appreciate your professional advice and I will try the best to improving...

Writing Feedbackthuy_nguyet - Jan 30, 2017 / thuy_nguyet - Jan 31, 2017
Task 2 ielts - sports and exercise classes and academic subjects

4 - To, the essay needs to have a better presentation on your part. You have 2 possible topics for discussion...

Writing Feedbackmaitouyen1 - Jan 30, 2017 / Holt - Jan 30, 2017
There are three reasons which support my opinion that parents aren't the best teachers

6 - @Ochir let me try to help you in writing. You should give the real prompt so that...

Writing FeedbackOchir - Jan 18, 2017 / SYDA - Jan 27, 2017
Internet make our communication easier, helps with getting information, business, and transaction

3 - Hi, let me try to help you in writing :) ~~~ you can use recent decades rather than...

Writing Feedbackmaitouyen1 - Jan 27, 2017 / SYDA - Jan 27, 2017
What would I do if I were a billionaire?

5 - Dears Your essay has some gramarical problems . For examle, let's find out what would I do and where...

Writing FeedbackVarlamow - Jan 8, 2017 / maitouyen1 - Jan 27, 2017
The Earth needs both governments and individuals to cooperate for a positive change

2 - Hi Mai, thanks for posting the complete prompt and revised essay on your part. Having reviewed your work in...

Writing Feedbackmaitouyen123 - Jan 26, 2017 / Holt - Jan 26, 2017

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