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Writing Feedback

Research advice on TOEFL, SAT, IELTS, GRE and other academic essays (page 2)

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Learning a foreign language can be optimal in primary school, but the real language may bemuse them

3 - Nuraini, the biggest problem of your essay is that you did not offer a proper paraphrasing of the prompt...

Writing Feedbacknurainiyusuf16 - Nov 29, 2016 / Holt - Mar 19, 2017
Lights and shadows of being a known person

4 - @xuancuong Hi I am learning ielts so i am really glad to help you in this essay. firstly, you...

Writing Feedbackxuancuong - Mar 17, 2017 / Maitouyen282 - Mar 18, 2017
Team work; Summarize the points made in the lecture you just heard

3 - Oh, really, i forgot it ets.org/Media/Tests/TOEFL/pdf/ibt_writing_sample_responses.pdf...

Writing Feedbackabderraouf2che - Mar 18, 2017 / abderraouf2che - Mar 18, 2017
Education from parents and diversity - whether parents are the best teachers?

3 - Anh, what is the actual prompt requirement that you are responding to? Kindly indicate it in your response to...

Writing Feedbackantonie8x - Mar 17, 2017 / Holt - Mar 18, 2017
IELTS task 2 about "What are the changes of family structures and family roles"

2 - Yolanda, the main problem with this essay is that it focused itself on the "Once Child Policy" of China....

Writing FeedbackYolandaessay - Mar 17, 2017 / Holt - Mar 17, 2017
Second language learning at primary school. Both positive and negative aspects.

3 - @Holt Thank you so much for your comments. Anyway, I will keep trying for other topics. :)...

Writing Feedbackmaruko chan - Mar 16, 2017 / maruko chan - Mar 17, 2017
workers commuting to work. IELTS Writing Task 1 - Paraphrasing INTRODUCTION

4 - Thao, I have already corrected your one sentence opening statement in my previous thread. So I will not be...

Writing Feedbackdreamof90 - Mar 16, 2017 / Holt - Mar 17, 2017
Discussion about if dinosaurs are endotherms

5 - @Holt Thanks for your comment!I will try to make it better....

Writing Feedbackbaptista - Mar 9, 2017 / baptista - Mar 16, 2017
CLEP English Comp essay - discuss potential merits of various learning forms

3 - @Holt, thank you again for your fast and insightful comments. I am planning to take my test next Wednesday,...

Writing FeedbackPeterson123 - Mar 15, 2017 / Peterson123 - Mar 15, 2017
Protecting wildlife through zoos?

2 - Hoang, since this is the very first essay that you have written for the IELTS practice test, I will...

Writing Feedbackhoangvutran123 - Mar 15, 2017 / Holt - Mar 15, 2017
TOEFL independent writing task 1. A new restaurant may be built in your neighorhood.

3 - @Holt Hi, Mary Thank you soooo much! And your advice is very important to me. I will...

Writing Feedbackfufuleilei - Mar 14, 2017 / fufuleilei - Mar 15, 2017
Unveiling crimes using sophisticated technology

6 - I agree that your opinion is presented early, before a proper introduction of your topic. You make good...

Writing Feedbackyuukinohan4 - Mar 13, 2017 / Peterson123 - Mar 15, 2017
CLEP English comp essay point of view: curriculum in education

3 - @Holt, thank you very much for your great feedback. This process is so helpful, and I want to improve...

Writing FeedbackPeterson123 - Mar 14, 2017 / Peterson123 - Mar 15, 2017
Intercultural Communication connecting the societes. Final essay.

3 - Hello Suya, You have written a well-reasoned essay on intercultural communication based on your personal experiences. I think...

Writing FeedbackSUYA - Mar 14, 2017 / Peterson123 - Mar 14, 2017
CLEP English Comp essay point of view: "Is it easier now than ever before to form friendships?"

3 - @Holt, Thank you for your quick and helpful response. I think that each one of these that I...

Writing FeedbackPeterson123 - Mar 14, 2017 / Peterson123 - Mar 14, 2017
How a solar powered water pump works

5 - I will not repeat the suggestion details anymore because I already explained it in the previous thread observation that...

Writing Feedbackyuukinohan4 - Mar 11, 2017 / Holt - Mar 14, 2017
Writing 2: Should the government encourage a certain percentage of jobs to be reserved for women?

3 - Arlen, in your opening statement, you strongly support the idea that positions should be reserved for women. However, you...

Writing FeedbackArlen - Mar 14, 2017 / Holt - Mar 14, 2017
CLEP English Comp essay prep - agree/ disagree "no goals so impossible as ones we set for ourselves"

4 - Thank you bontonsoup1 and Holt, I especially appreciate the suggestion to sharpen my focus to one side of...

Writing FeedbackPeterson123 - Mar 13, 2017 / Peterson123 - Mar 14, 2017
Online sales for retail sectors in New Zealand in 2003 and 2013

2 - Nur, while it is good that you have learned how to remove the mechanical representation of information in your...

Writing Feedbackyuukinohan4 - Mar 14, 2017 / Holt - Mar 14, 2017
The talk about your favorite language

5 - Hi, First of all, I think that will be much formal to write some number in English. For...

Writing Feedbackdoanquoc - Mar 13, 2017 / Arlen - Mar 14, 2017
IELTS- writing task 2 - governments should charge on railways instead of roads.

6 - Hi, firstly, I don't think your word count is enough since task two need at least 250 words....

Writing FeedbackPaige - Mar 11, 2017 / Arlen - Mar 14, 2017
Body image promoted and shared by social media is harmful to user

4 - Henry, your essay shows that you were given a topic to write about which is of huge importance or...

Writing Feedbackarsenal4life - Mar 14, 2017 / Holt - Mar 14, 2017
The way international associations help developing countries

4 - First of all, I would like to thank you for your precious comment. I would like to empathize that...

Writing Feedbackhiencute - Mar 13, 2017 / hiencute - Mar 13, 2017
Essay about the importance of spending money on the arts

3 - Hi Martina, I have read your essay and found some errors which you are supposed to improve. Hopefully, you...

Writing FeedbackWarda1992 - Mar 13, 2017 / akbarmappiare - Mar 13, 2017
The three different charts present the percentage of four different categories of foods utilized

7 - @Holt Thank you so much...

Writing FeedbackMaitouyen282 - Mar 11, 2017 / Maitouyen282 - Mar 13, 2017
It is difficult to imagine a life without music. Traditional or popular, modern music?

4 - Nutwarara, the essay that you wrote will earn you a score of 4 because you did not properly discuss...

Writing Feedbacknutwararat - Mar 12, 2017 / Holt - Mar 13, 2017
There is a nexus between corruption and terrorism

2 - Fahad, your writing is good for a beginner. There is a logic to what you are saying and your...

Writing FeedbackFAHADKHAN185 - Mar 12, 2017 / Holt - Mar 12, 2017
Finacial Aid VS Practical Aid And Advice

4 - No bother at all Anais. I think you will see where your faulty paraphrasing came in with the example...

Writing FeedbackAnais - Mar 12, 2017 / Holt - Mar 12, 2017
The most important aspect of a job is the size of money you earn. Big salary vs job satisfaction?

3 - Hi @Mohsen23 I know that your idea disagrees the prompt. However, sometimes i get confuse because a lot of...

Writing FeedbackMohsen23 - Mar 7, 2017 / yuukinohan4 - Mar 11, 2017
Plethora numbers of criminal activities - causes of crime rate and effort to prevent them

4 - @yuukinohan4 Hi! I am learning IELTS too. Therefore, I give you some advice. Firstly, the cause of crime. Nowadays,...

Writing Feedbackyuukinohan4 - Mar 10, 2017 / Maitouyen282 - Mar 11, 2017
Many children have difficulty paying attention and concentrating in their classes at school

6 - Hi guys @ChiObi @yuukinohan4 @Holt @eiriashhar Thank you so much for all your golden feedback. I read them...

Writing FeedbackOkaeef - Mar 10, 2017 / Okaeef - Mar 11, 2017
My view on Independent Recruiting of Universities

4 - @Holt First of all ,I am very grateful to you for your advice. I'm a college student in China.I've...

Writing FeedbackRayLi - Mar 10, 2017 / RayLi - Mar 10, 2017
The line graph depicts the different modes of transportation used by the country United Kingdom

6 - Hi @Sajeemaka I have already read your entire essay, i just suggest you to group the paragraph of...

Writing FeedbackSajeemaka - Mar 9, 2017 / yuukinohan4 - Mar 10, 2017
Car Ownership increasing big traffic jams

8 - Nur, while that information is presented in the essay as information from the original prompt. If you wish to...

Writing Feedbackyuukinohan4 - Mar 8, 2017 / Holt - Mar 10, 2017
Oil resources and Consumption annually in the same areas

4 - It would be better if you do not include any actual information in the overview summary. The summary is...

Writing Feedbackyuukinohan4 - Mar 9, 2017 / Holt - Mar 10, 2017
Essay - Intercultural Communication. Western culture always tends to be open comparing with Eastern

4 - @Holt Thank you very much....

Writing FeedbackKaitonglin - Mar 9, 2017 / Kaitonglin - Mar 9, 2017
A discussion paper regarding the mental health services in the city

2 - Luk, for the question section, do not provide the instructions that your professor provided for the writing of the...

Writing Feedbacklskarena22 - Mar 9, 2017 / Holt - Mar 9, 2017
IETLS Writing task 1 - 'Parkway Hotel customer service' pie chart

4 - Hi Vi, I have read your writing closer and found a few improvements you need. Firstly, you actually presented...

Writing Feedbackchikachika - Mar 8, 2017 / akbarmappiare - Mar 9, 2017
The percentage of elderly aged over 65 in USA, Japan and Sweden from 1940 to 2040 - IELTS

3 - Hi Ainun, I will give you a few corrections. Actually, based on the systematic, you can successfully write this...

Writing Feedbackainunazwaria - Mar 8, 2017 / akbarmappiare - Mar 9, 2017
IELTS TASK 1 Other worker's salaries, teacher's salaries and furniture and equipment

6 - To, there are a total of 4 sections in the pie chart. Since you can only present a 5...

Writing FeedbackMaitouyen282 - Mar 7, 2017 / Holt - Mar 8, 2017
IELTS WRITING PART 2 ex-criminals are good teacher for teenagers on danger of committing a crime

5 - There are no redundancies that could adversely affect your essay. You actually have shown a lexical range that could...

Writing FeedbackNeo Lee - Mar 8, 2017 / Holt - Mar 8, 2017
The government should promote the use of renewable energy in electricity generation

3 - Luk, this is a sound summary of your policy paper research. I hope though that this is not the...

Writing Feedbacklskarena22 - Mar 8, 2017 / Holt - Mar 8, 2017
Comparison between average yearly costs on cell phone and landline phone services from 2001 to 2010

6 - Hi Tu Nguyen I 've read your essay and I think I can point out some helpful grammartical and...

Writing Feedbacktuantu1710 - Mar 6, 2017 / chikachika - Mar 8, 2017
Percentages of mobile phone owners using various mobile phone features

6 - @Holt thank you very much...

Writing FeedbackBob brother - Mar 4, 2017 / Bob brother - Mar 8, 2017
Higher entrance fees to attractions for residents than for foreign travelers?

6 - Duy, you would get a very disturbing score of 3 for this essay. The reason that you failed to...

Writing Feedbackhausofduy - Mar 8, 2017 / Holt - Mar 8, 2017
News article about The Pakistan Super League.

5 - Neha, provide an overview or summary of the events that led to the brutal terrorist attack on that fateful...

Writing Feedbackhello123098 - Mar 6, 2017 / Holt - Mar 8, 2017
Some alterations that had been done at West Park Secondary School from 1950 to 2010

2 - Nur, you misunderstood the illustrations that you were presented for the summary. The illustration provides information for changes to...

Writing Feedbackyuukinohan4 - Mar 7, 2017 / Holt - Mar 7, 2017
City or Country Life? Some people like me are fond of a fast-paced life in the city

2 - Nastya, I believe that you failed to provide another part of the prompt requirements. I am referring to the...

Writing FeedbackSoukho - Mar 7, 2017 / Holt - Mar 7, 2017
People have different views on dillema if people succesful in a sport should have higher earnings

6 - The format that you used is wrong. In order to accurately represent the task that you are given for...

Writing Feedbacknuradiapuspa - Mar 5, 2017 / Holt - Mar 7, 2017
Globalization - process of International integration which have its impact on people's life

3 - Globalization can trace its roots back to 1942, when Christoper Columbus first discovered the Americas during his expedition to...

Writing Feedbackjaviernilo2 - Mar 7, 2017 / Holt - Mar 7, 2017
IELTS Writing Task 2: Some parents buy their children a large number of toys to play with.

7 - The sentence in the fourth paragraph is too long to read. This bad habit will form ... negatice...

Writing Feedbacksehatdinati - Feb 18, 2017 / ylin0233 - Mar 7, 2017
The line chart compares the data of package delivery distributed by two delivery service companies

4 - Hi @ainunazwaria Some suggestions come to me are firstly writing task one's overview that should be followed the...

Writing Feedbackainunazwaria - Mar 6, 2017 / yuukinohan4 - Mar 6, 2017
It is inevitable for using alternative energy resources to replace fossil fuel exploitation

3 - Hi Nur, you have shown the good method for paraphrasing the statement. However, your last sentence in the introductory...

Writing Feedbackyuukinohan4 - Mar 6, 2017 / akbarmappiare - Mar 6, 2017
Education and health care should be financed by authorities - everyone could get free access to it

4 - Hi Nur, I really like reading your essay because you wrote this systematically. However, I have found there needed...

Writing Feedbackyuukinohan4 - Mar 5, 2017 / akbarmappiare - Mar 6, 2017
IELTS WRITING TASK 1 : Life now is better today than it was century ago

3 - @Holt. thank for you comment and suggestion. i will note your reasons to improve my essay. Thank you....

Writing Feedbackcoco246 - Mar 6, 2017 / coco246 - Mar 6, 2017
This essay about bar chart report related to "Average annual GDP growth"

3 - Tan, you could have done a better job of discussing the figures in the graph you were provided. The...

Writing FeedbackBinh Ngo - Mar 5, 2017 / Holt - Mar 6, 2017
The percentage of four different type of films distributed in Australia and Britain in 2001

9 - dear @Maitouyen282 Overall your essay is good. I am here is on learning process too. And this is...

Writing FeedbackMaitouyen282 - Mar 3, 2017 / nuradiapuspa - Mar 5, 2017
Briefly describe the work of this (My current job) organisation (max. 250 words)

5 - The first paragraph is still a bit confusing to read. Let me see if I can clean it up...

Writing Feedbackdigaprasiska - Mar 5, 2017 / Holt - Mar 5, 2017
Every person is different. The happiness depends on people's own.

4 - Hi Reski, you have needed improvement for your writing. I am gonna offer you a few suggestions. Firstly, pay...

Writing FeedbackReskiRamadani88 - Nov 8, 2016 / akbarmappiare - Mar 5, 2017
A renewable energy - essay for study plan KGSP, department of energy engineering

14 - @Holt dear holt. thank you very much. i follow all your direction. it's not easy for me, but you...

Writing Feedbacknana123 - Feb 26, 2017 / nana123 - Mar 5, 2017

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