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Writing Feedback

Research advice on TOEFL, SAT, IELTS, GRE and other academic essays (page 4)

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The graph below gives information about how much people in the United States and the United Kingdom

4 - @ichaa Icha, be more descriptive while you're writing an article referring to pie-charts...

Writing Feedbackichaa - Jan 5, 2017 / nandasharma - Jan 7, 2017
Essay about causes of crimes - the main reasons are the lack of education, religion and drugs.

3 - Care: care because the statistics said SAY This is just a pair of examples. From what I saw,...

Writing FeedbackAbderrahime - Jan 5, 2017 / Lorelly - Jan 6, 2017
Many people believe that the internet is very useful for communication, however I disagree...

5 - @ichaa I think you should give your opinion clearly that whether you think the internet is an excellent means...

Writing Feedbackichaa - Jan 5, 2017 / Nuverte0452 - Jan 5, 2017
How much petrol expenditure in US and UK influence budget of these countries

3 - hello mr septa... your writing is so good, but we have some corrections... the first, please write more than...

Writing Feedbackseptaafrian0554 - Jan 5, 2017 / rizal - Jan 5, 2017
Citizens impression on the WWW cyberspace

3 - Hi, Mr. septa! actually I appropriate the meaning of your essay, but unfortunately you haven't done your essay 250...

Writing Feedbackseptaafrian0554 - Jan 5, 2017 / ichaa - Jan 5, 2017
Line Graph Task 1 IELTS sample 2017: Petrol expense in USA and UK

3 - Hello @basohamdanianis I am glad to see your writing, unfortunately, you still have a few correct word in your...

Writing Feedbackbasohamdanianis - Jan 5, 2017 / BiburLicek - Jan 5, 2017
Internet as communication medium and tools for search information.

2 - @gribigribi Hello gribi In this occasion I would give you some of the suggestion to tweak more of...

Writing Feedbackgribigribi - Jan 5, 2017 / Diazalichsan - Jan 5, 2017
Spendings number for various goods in some part of the world

4 - ... in Malaysia was housing (add some indicator here such as, "sector"), witnessing nearly more than a third of...

Writing FeedbackFiza26 - Jan 4, 2017 / septaafrian0554 - Jan 5, 2017
The proportion of primary need expenditures in Malaysia and Japan in 2010

2 - @ichaa I've made the following necessary corrections. I would focus more over...

Writing Feedbackichaa - Jan 4, 2017 / nandasharma - Jan 4, 2017
Film Spectators in Asian and Europe Countries

2 - Hello mr.@septaafrian0554 I have a few corrections for you . - movie theather - movie theater - ......

Writing Feedbackseptaafrian0554 - Jan 4, 2017 / BiburLicek - Jan 4, 2017
The average family expenses in Malaysia and Japan

3 - @Diazalichsan thanks you diaz...

Writing Feedbackseptaafrian0554 - Jan 4, 2017 / septaafrian0554 - Jan 4, 2017
Pie Chart: Comparison of Household in Japan and Malaysia in 2010

6 - @septaafrian0554 Well, thank you for your advice septa :)...

Writing FeedbackDiazalichsan - Jan 4, 2017 / Diazalichsan - Jan 4, 2017
The pie charts presents the overall family spending in Japan and Malaysia

3 - @gribigribi First and foremost, it was such a good essay for writing task 1 IELTS, all the components have...

Writing Feedbackgribigribi - Jan 4, 2017 / Diazalichsan - Jan 4, 2017
Ielts task 1 - Information about the sales during an ordinary October week at a small restaurant

2 - Hi @krempetkov , Based on what I know, had experienced, and what has been told many times to...

Writing Feedbackkrempetkov - Jan 3, 2017 / blueknightiris - Jan 3, 2017
The data on how fast world wide population growth in numbers and statistics of urban population

3 - In your introduction, you should explain what information both graphs are presenting. The bar graph provides information about...

Writing FeedbackMuhayyun Mappare - Dec 30, 2016 / krempetkov - Jan 3, 2017
"When in Rome, do as Romans do" Travelling and promotion of globalisation

2 - Well, there are a few problems with your Introduction paragraph. Your first sentence should paraphrase the question, while...

Writing Feedbackdang200993 - Jan 2, 2017 / krempetkov - Jan 3, 2017
Ielts2 - In many countries today there are many highly qualified graduates without employment

3 - Can you jsut point out where exactly are my grammar mistakes, you will help me a lot...

Writing Feedbackkrempetkov - Dec 28, 2016 / krempetkov - Jan 3, 2017
Zoos are capable of preserving species that are facing extinction.

2 - Hi, your grammar is very good. In your intro, I would not write "This essay will do this, this...

Writing Feedbackquora123 - Jan 1, 2017 / TJLuschen - Jan 1, 2017
Essay; Relationship between old and young people in the modern world

3 - Thank you so much for the feedback, I will try to improve my essay and present my ideas more...

Writing FeedbackAnna M - Dec 31, 2016 / Anna M - Jan 1, 2017
Bill Gates finding about effective method of teaching

3 - Mohammad, I am not sure about how to review your essay. That is because you failed to provide the...

Writing Feedbackmdamanhuri77 - Sep 27, 2016 / Holt - Jan 1, 2017
People who live in the world and the areas

3 - Hello ayra cantik It would be better to mention the population and the year before the number among them...

Writing Feedbackayrahumairah - Dec 30, 2016 / Muhayyun Mappare - Dec 30, 2016
The graphs exhibit the information on world population growth from 1800 to 2100 / Urban Populations

4 - hello lovely, I copied than paste your writing just in case to be you comparasion. The senstences in "()"...

Writing Feedbackl1h4h - Dec 30, 2016 / Muhayyun Mappare - Dec 30, 2016
Comparison of the society growth and urban areas

2 - Hello, Overall, the content of this essay is good and understandable. You draw information from the graphs well...

Writing Feedbackhanasufiarahma - Dec 30, 2016 / lynzee22 - Dec 30, 2016
World population growth from 1800 to 2100 in developed and developing countries

2 - Since there are the graphs of developed and developing nations, it may add more to your essay by comparing...

Writing Feedbackded15 - Dec 30, 2016 / jcgdbb - Dec 30, 2016
The proportion of proficient persons in a foreign language among male and female students

2 - Hi, I will try to give you a little comment. I hope it can help you. In the...

Writing Feedbackhavi105 - Dec 30, 2016 / Citra07 - Dec 30, 2016
Commitment and responsibility. Leadership Essay - Leadership skill I posses

4 - Dina, the best way to start off your essay discussion is by revealing to the reviewer what your idea,...

Writing Feedbackhacchani - Dec 30, 2016 / Holt - Dec 30, 2016
IELTS Task 1 World Population and Comparison of Developed and Developing Countries

2 - Hi, I thought your report was pretty clear, but I would make the following suggestions: The line graph...

Writing FeedbackCitra07 - Dec 30, 2016 / TJLuschen - Dec 30, 2016
IELTS WRITING TASK 1, Table of Proportion of children in Australia

4 - I hope I can add some correction for your writing, First I will correction your spelling. 1. "chategories...

Writing FeedbackMuhayyun Mappare - Dec 29, 2016 / Citra07 - Dec 30, 2016
The prolificity of women in their forties at the antipodes

4 - @Citra07 Hy Citra, good night, i have some corrections from grammatical error of your writing The first ...

Writing FeedbackCitra07 - Dec 29, 2016 / Dayat - Dec 30, 2016
Mothers in Australia over forty years old. Essay Writing task 1

5 - Hallo, good night hanna, i have some corrections to you about grammatical error For the first The...

Writing Feedbackhanasufiarahma - Dec 29, 2016 / Dayat - Dec 30, 2016
The figure of children born to 40-44 years old women in Australia for four different years

3 - Hello Mister Dedy.. I have read your writing. In this moment, I will get an attempt to review...

Writing Feedbackded15 - Dec 29, 2016 / akbarmappiare - Dec 30, 2016
[IELST Task 1] Annual earnings of three bakeries in London, 2000-2010.

3 - @PJmustbebetter To conclude, two out of three Bakeries rose ... To conclude, profits for two out of three Bakeries...

Writing FeedbackPJmustbebetter - Dec 29, 2016 / serikbar - Dec 29, 2016
writing IELTS TASK 1 AUSTRALIAN WOMEN BIRTHRATE

2 - I am not sure with my comment to correct your writing, you very often repeating "same age group". If...

Writing Feedbackayrahumairah - Dec 29, 2016 / Citra07 - Dec 29, 2016
Regulating killing crimes law has to be the top priority taken by officials and authorities.

10 - @ngokhoa99 thanks a lot@mualla You got a point I think I could add a third paragraph stating "why society...

Writing Feedbackahmed2016 - Dec 21, 2016 / ahmed2016 - Dec 29, 2016
Ielts writing task 1 about fish and four types of meat consumption

2 - This is pretty solid writing. There's just one thing I'd like to point out. while the consumption of beef,...

Writing Feedbackbellebelle73 - Dec 29, 2016 / ngokhoa99 - Dec 29, 2016
IELTS writing task 1 - The spending by local authorities in some land in three different years

2 - ...cost of local authorities, while transport. Transport and environmental service experienced increasing spendingand, while there were gradual reducingreductions in...

Writing Feedbackded15 - Dec 28, 2016 / thugzook - Dec 29, 2016
WRITING TASK 1 THE PROPORTION OF LEISURE ACTIVITIES PREFERENCE IN BOTH GENDER

2 - "A breakdown of the proportion of several ..." A breakdown of several leisure activities taken by both male and...

Writing Feedbackilankelo21 - Dec 28, 2016 / thugzook - Dec 29, 2016
IELTS Task 1 The Pie Charts represent the precentages of changes in the annual dependents

3 - Hello Hana I have some advice for you : - The Pie charts represents the precentages (...) such...

Writing Feedbackhanasufiarahma - Dec 28, 2016 / ded15 - Dec 28, 2016
The spending for education, health and human resources, environmental services and transportation.

4 - I am afraid that in my opinion your report was not very strong. You kept repeating the phrases "increasingly...

Writing FeedbackDayat - Dec 28, 2016 / TJLuschen - Dec 28, 2016
LOCAL AUTHORITIES BUDGET in different lands in 1980, 1990 and 2000.

2 - Good evening Ms. Aira, I will try to correct your writing. because the pie charts is plural...

Writing Feedbackayrahumairah - Dec 28, 2016 / Citra07 - Dec 28, 2016
IELTS Task 1 Annual Expenses by Local Bureaucracy in Several Lands

2 - Hallo Mr.Citra, Good night, i have some corrections for you. The correction is (Expenses of environmental services...

Writing FeedbackCitra07 - Dec 28, 2016 / Dayat - Dec 28, 2016
IELTS TASK 2 - MEDIA CONTROL - an important privilege and tool to manipulate the public

3 - Thank you for your advice!...

Writing Feedbacklinhledieue - Dec 27, 2016 / linhledieue - Dec 27, 2016
If I would obtain a chance to go abroad then I would go to China

2 - Hey! A couple of things. First, you ought to capitalize every instance of China in the essay. It'll go...

Writing FeedbackOmerzafar - Dec 26, 2016 / YomanAwe - Dec 26, 2016
Some researchers analyse and say that, you are not too old to learn new skills

5 - you go little bit off the topic . please be stick topic ....

Writing Feedbacklalodhi - Dec 26, 2016 / Omerzafar - Dec 26, 2016
Art can soar economy of the country - spending money for it

5 - @nandasharma thanks...

Writing FeedbackOmerzafar - Dec 25, 2016 / Omerzafar - Dec 26, 2016
Travel in a group can save money and time, it's pity though that people can't do then what they wish

4 - Especially for those are busy and are going with large number of people. -- Well, first of all I...

Writing FeedbackArlen - Dec 13, 2016 / krempetkov - Dec 26, 2016
Any new technological development in the recent years is a boon or curse for the society in general.

2 - hi @lalodhi, you have a good stand point. I'd like to give you some suggestion as follows : 1....

Writing Feedbacklalodhi - Dec 26, 2016 / masktaz - Dec 26, 2016
Overpopulation of urban areas - problems and solutions

3 - @nandasharma Please check my other threads. Thanks alot....

Writing Feedbacklalodhi - Dec 26, 2016 / lalodhi - Dec 26, 2016
The total download (in 1000s) from three computer packages in five weeks period

4 - I think you need to work on you summary sentence. ..."and Net less popular among internet users." - that...

Writing Feedbackkiemwanz - Dec 24, 2016 / krempetkov - Dec 26, 2016
The Profit from Losing Money

39 - @Holt I am so happy, Holt! Thanks for guiding me through the essay. Without you the essay would not...

Writing Feedbackmualla - Nov 11, 2016 / mualla - Dec 25, 2016
The Personality of Candidate Requirement in Recruitment of the Company

3 - @SarlindaDS_27 Sarlinda, there are plenty of grammatical errors and subject-verb disgreements in your article which...

Writing FeedbackSarlindaDS_27 - Nov 30, 2016 / nandasharma - Dec 25, 2016
The information about factors influencing the work performance of the people aged 18-30 and 45-60

3 - "It is clear to see that" --> "It is clear that" "40% of people from the older group...

Writing Feedbackkrempetkov - Dec 24, 2016 / angeli6778 - Dec 24, 2016
IELTS task1: spending on different items in the UK (Table)

2 - Ali, when you write the summary overview of the chart, make sure to represent all of the sectors indicated...

Writing Feedbackali98 - Dec 24, 2016 / Holt - Dec 24, 2016
Writing 2: people think that men and women have different qualities to certain jobs

3 - What I didn't like about your second paragraph is that, you have mixed complex and very simple sentences. I...

Writing FeedbackArlen - Dec 22, 2016 / krempetkov - Dec 22, 2016
The electricity generation was dominated by coal in New Zealand while Germany prefered other sources

2 - while nuclear, natural gas, and coal also was popular sources in Germany. - First, the word "also" doesn't sound...

Writing FeedbackPramudita - Nov 1, 2015 / krempetkov - Dec 22, 2016
Food revolution - and how the change impact on people's lives - IELTS essay

5 - hello, here are my suggestions, 1. I agree partially with this statement, preparedpreparing ... 2. The main reason...

Writing Feedbackthanhscorpia - Dec 18, 2016 / Arlen - Dec 22, 2016
More and more young people hold the important positions in the government.

4 - hello, here are my suggestions, 1. In some countries, the youth is becomingbecome more and moreto occupyoccupying the...

Writing Feedbacktruonglanngoc - Dec 21, 2016 / Arlen - Dec 22, 2016
IELTS Writing Task 2 - Governments should spend money on railways rather than roads

3 - I think your essay is really good overall- very clear points. However, if I could change something maybe I'd...

Writing Feedbackardiankrist - Dec 21, 2016 / Punn1238 - Dec 21, 2016
Urbanization is a modern disease.

4 - Vittal, I would gladly show you how to reach a band score of 7 using this essay. However, I...

Writing FeedbackVittal - Dec 19, 2016 / Holt - Dec 21, 2016
Worldwide market of hybrid vehicles in three different areas - WRITING TASK 1

3 - Hi NinaJoesuf25, As my opinion, your first sentence in the first paragraph is complex, just keep it simple....

Writing FeedbackNinaJoesuf25 - Dec 15, 2016 / phongnam - Dec 21, 2016

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