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Writing Feedback

Research advice on TOEFL, SAT, IELTS, GRE and other academic essays (page 5)

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BAR & LINE GRAPH - three dimensions on the screens

3 - Gigih, I believe that there was a better way to write this essay which would have improved your overall...

Writing Feedbackgigihes - Feb 7, 2017 / Holt - Feb 7, 2017
As the proverb goes "Union is strength", we owe to co-operating for our existence.

5 - Hai adam. The main point of the question is about children. Yet, your idea in the first and...

Writing Feedbackadamrahimov - Jan 30, 2017 / ainunazwaria - Feb 7, 2017
Journey of learning English

6 - @Holt @ichanpants89 @thuy_nguyet I will make opinion about creative industrys role in the world. As modern generation We should...

Writing FeedbackKing_mif - Feb 7, 2017 / King_mif - Feb 7, 2017
PTE: Over a billion adults legally smoke tobacco. The long term health costs are high - for smokers

8 - Thank you @Holt, without your comments I could not realize how bad my essay was. I will keep practice...

Writing Feedbackfoyuliu - Feb 1, 2017 / foyuliu - Feb 7, 2017
IELTS TASK 2 - the reason why do fewer and fewer people appreciate art and how to solve it

4 - @gayan1991 This is actually a wrong thing to do. You can see the rules of the forum. You...

Writing Feedbackayuriska - Jan 25, 2017 / ichanpants89 - Feb 7, 2017
IELTS Practice task 2 - History education and its importance

4 - As an additional feedback to improve your band score later on, you can write a more appropriate introduction paragraph....

Writing FeedbackJane N - Feb 3, 2017 / ichanpants89 - Feb 7, 2017
The crucial part of being happy lies in one's everyday attitude towards life.

5 - @Ssakshijain Thank you for reading my writing. As I am more familiar with verbal english, I have difficult with...

Writing Feedbackchikachika - Feb 5, 2017 / chikachika - Feb 6, 2017
The percentage of Australians from six different household types struggling with poverty in 1999

4 - There are many ways that you can help others here at the forum even if you do not have...

Writing Feedbackyennhihoang2712 - Feb 6, 2017 / Holt - Feb 6, 2017
Pie Chart Task 1 IELTS Sample: typical house spendings in Japan and Malaysia

9 - Hi Baso, Despite those grammatical mistakes, I think you essay is not solid enough. The way you compare two...

Writing Feedbackbasohamdanianis - Jan 4, 2017 / MH_tw - Feb 6, 2017
IELTS Writing Task 2 - Punishment for Children and impact on their development

6 - Hi Janice. I think your essay is very clear and well paragraphed. Though you could use more vocabularies, your...

Writing FeedbackJanicelo - Feb 3, 2017 / MH_tw - Feb 6, 2017
"You can learn about the character of a country from the way that treat animal" - Practice again

5 - @Holt Thanks for your advice. I will limit the first pronoun....

Writing Feedbackthuy_nguyet - Feb 5, 2017 / thuy_nguyet - Feb 6, 2017
Task 2 ielts People often wonder whether money brings happiness or not

8 - Hi To, I think your essay is really good, the arguments are supported by a series of evidences and...

Writing Feedbackmaitouyen1 - Feb 3, 2017 / Janicelo - Feb 6, 2017
IELTS Task 1. Six pie charts about water usage worldwide

7 - hello. here my advice for your writing .. (: 1. as far as i concern, a good paragraph consists...

Writing Feedbackmariana13 - Feb 1, 2017 / Pramudia27 - Feb 6, 2017
The bar chart compares the projected and actual criminal incidents in 2009 and 2018.

4 - Hi Daniette, I am gonna try offering advice for improvement of your writing. I appreciate your effort to present...

Writing Feedbackforbetterdani - Feb 5, 2017 / akbarmappiare - Feb 6, 2017
First college essay, 10 years since high school. Descriptive essay for basic English 101

4 - Yes, the presentation of the "Here we go." statement is exactly what I meant. The same goes for the...

Writing Feedbackjmack3d - Feb 5, 2017 / Holt - Feb 6, 2017
Gender equality has been achieved? Unlikely.

3 - Daniette, while your paraphrasing an opinion in the opening statement is commendable, it is a bit faulty because you...

Writing Feedbackforbetterdani - Feb 5, 2017 / Holt - Feb 6, 2017
Rapid expansion of supermarkets in some countries, many small, local business are unable to compete

2 - You have good skill of paraphrasing. Your position in introduction is clear enough. However, you need to improve the...

Writing Feedbackjaikrishna12 - Feb 5, 2017 / forbetterdani - Feb 5, 2017
Wrtiting Task 1 IELTS The title of population in developed countries and developing countries

9 - Hai Dayat! You have already written about 155 words on your writing but the content of your essay...

Writing FeedbackDayat - Dec 30, 2016 / ainunazwaria - Feb 5, 2017
Teaching foreign languages at primary school should be optional rather than compulsory. Ielts task 2

9 - @Holt Thanks again for your time and explainations which are very important for me :)...

Writing Feedbackadamrahimov - Feb 5, 2017 / adamrahimov - Feb 5, 2017
Investing more on railways means investing in a safer future for us and our children

3 - Thanks for your advice @Holt...

Writing Feedbackmariana13 - Feb 2, 2017 / mariana13 - Feb 3, 2017
Percentage of different types of energy used and their greenhouse emission in Australian household

3 - Holt, thank you for your comments and I will put more effort on my structure....

Writing FeedbackJanicelo - Feb 2, 2017 / Janicelo - Feb 3, 2017
The Line graphs of how much people in UK and US to spend on Petrol

8 - Diaz, good work on presenting more than the minimum number of words in your essay. That said, you should...

Writing FeedbackDiazalichsan - Jan 5, 2017 / Holt - Feb 3, 2017
Parents often wonder whether they ought to let their children spend time on TV, video and PC games

13 - To, you finally responded to the essay properly. This is the very discussion format that you should use for...

Writing Feedbackmaitouyen1 - Feb 2, 2017 / Holt - Feb 3, 2017
Given pie charts compare the number of inhabitants in Yemen and Italy in 2000

5 - Ayu, why are you indicating the information in the essay based upon thousands of percent when he chart is...

Writing Feedbackayuriska - Jan 13, 2017 / Holt - Feb 2, 2017
[IELTS task 2] Lack of Learning languages and children development in the modern society

5 - The main problem with your essay Ken, is that you did not really understand the prompt. If you can,...

Writing Feedbackkenthai - Feb 1, 2017 / Holt - Feb 2, 2017
task 2 ielts - celebrity's privacy; should every rumour of the famous be published by media?

5 - To, try to not type the prompt into the box. That is usually how these mistakes occur. Whenever possible,...

Writing Feedbackmaitouyen1 - Feb 1, 2017 / Holt - Feb 1, 2017
Essay Writing. Methods to integrate modern ways of transportation.

2 - Ayman, I am assuming that you posted the wrong prompt instructions to go with the essay that you developed....

Writing Feedbackabohashim2003 - Feb 1, 2017 / Holt - Feb 1, 2017
Family, television and friends are important factors in child's development. Task 2 ielts

5 - @Holt Thank you very much...

Writing Feedbackmaitouyen1 - Jan 31, 2017 / maitouyen1 - Jan 31, 2017
Some people think that reducing air travel is the best way to protect environment

5 - Chathuri, in an opinion essay that asks you to either agree or disagree to a particular degree, you must...

Writing Feedbackchathuri1982 - Jan 24, 2017 / Holt - Jan 31, 2017
Minimum age limit for driving - Discussion

6 - very good, everyone has his own point of view and understanding of a topic, you shown yours, I may...

Writing Feedbackahamad17 - Jan 26, 2017 / mariana13 - Jan 31, 2017
Around the world people are working more than ever. Is spending more time at work beneficial?

3 - Luong, you have written an extremely well researched essay. Normally, I would congratulate you on such a well written...

Writing Feedbackduongbaluong - Jan 31, 2017 / Holt - Jan 31, 2017
Researching the Internet - I practice for my TOEFL writing

5 - @Holt Thanks so much. I really appreciate your professional advice and I will try the best to improving...

Writing Feedbackthuy_nguyet - Jan 30, 2017 / thuy_nguyet - Jan 31, 2017
Task 2 ielts - sports and exercise classes and academic subjects

4 - To, the essay needs to have a better presentation on your part. You have 2 possible topics for discussion...

Writing Feedbackmaitouyen1 - Jan 30, 2017 / Holt - Jan 30, 2017
There are three reasons which support my opinion that parents aren't the best teachers

6 - @Ochir let me try to help you in writing. You should give the real prompt so that...

Writing FeedbackOchir - Jan 18, 2017 / SYDA - Jan 27, 2017
Internet make our communication easier, helps with getting information, business, and transaction

3 - Hi, let me try to help you in writing :) ~~~ you can use recent decades rather than...

Writing Feedbackmaitouyen1 - Jan 27, 2017 / SYDA - Jan 27, 2017
What would I do if I were a billionaire?

5 - Dears Your essay has some gramarical problems . For examle, let's find out what would I do and where...

Writing FeedbackVarlamow - Jan 8, 2017 / maitouyen1 - Jan 27, 2017
The Earth needs both governments and individuals to cooperate for a positive change

2 - Hi Mai, thanks for posting the complete prompt and revised essay on your part. Having reviewed your work in...

Writing Feedbackmaitouyen123 - Jan 26, 2017 / Holt - Jan 26, 2017
Scientists and the news media are presenting ever more evidence of climate change

2 - Mai, since you are a newcomer to the forum, I guess you do not know that we require you...

Writing Feedbackmaitouyen - Jan 26, 2017 / Holt - Jan 26, 2017
IELTS1 - the number of diarrhea cases in Mashhad over ten years, some time ago

4 - Ayu, it is my opinion that you could probably score at least a 5 with this essay. As I...

Writing Feedbackayuriska - Jan 25, 2017 / Holt - Jan 25, 2017
University should not specifically accept more girls or boys for whatever purpose

3 - Ho, you approached this essay from the wrong perspective. In fact, you seem to have decided to answer a...

Writing FeedbackMH_tw - Jan 25, 2017 / Holt - Jan 25, 2017
Nowadays celebrities are more famous for their glamour and wealth than for their achievements

4 - I agree with Holt. You seem to be missing the main issue here. If you agree that contemporary celebrities...

Writing Feedbackmaitouyen - Jan 24, 2017 / Rashan - Jan 25, 2017
IELTS Task 1: How Do U.S. Expenditures Compare With Those Of Other Countries?

4 - Hi @ellisana, in the second point, you should explain bit more about clothing percentage. In other hand, BritonJapan spend...

Writing Feedbackellisana - Jan 21, 2017 / ayuriska - Jan 25, 2017
Writing an Essay on Personal Growth based on an activity

2 - Nina, it would be best if you just mention that your hobby is photography but your personal growth comes...

Writing Feedbackngutzeit3 - Jan 25, 2017 / Holt - Jan 25, 2017
IELTS: Childhood obesity is becoming a serious problem in many countries

3 - hi @SuXrOb, I hope that you are not giving up to practice writing, the first problem that you should...

Writing FeedbackSuXrOb - Jan 24, 2017 / liv_ryu - Jan 24, 2017
Free education - reasoning and consequences of implementing the policy

6 - On the contrary, your score will be better in the GRE depending upon how well you debate the issue...

Writing Feedbackpayal1982 - Jan 23, 2017 / Holt - Jan 24, 2017
Flying all over the world. IELTS Task 2: Should air travel be restricted or NOT.

5 - Thanks for the feedback, I have taken notes. They are of great help....

Writing Feedbacksumanmahajan - Jan 22, 2017 / sumanmahajan - Jan 23, 2017
GRE Issue Task: The idea to tell students which subject their should study

5 - just remember you need to fully understand the complexities of the issue and show, in you writing, that you...

Writing Feedbackshiv_riky - Jan 21, 2017 / Rashan - Jan 22, 2017
'Our personality is the average of the five people with whom we spend most of our time'; GRE Task

4 - @Holt @notmargaux Thank you, for the advice. I understand I was not able to convey my message from...

Writing Feedbackshiv_riky - Jan 18, 2017 / shiv_riky - Jan 21, 2017
Many different views about the leading role of university education

2 - Jessica, I wonder if you know that your essay is 5 words short of the 250 word minimum requirement...

Writing FeedbackJessica Huang - Jan 21, 2017 / Holt - Jan 21, 2017
Writing 2: people think instead of preventing climate change, we need to find a way to live with it

7 - @Arlen I think it would be better to pick a side in this essay and focus on that side...

Writing FeedbackArlen - Jan 13, 2017 / skazo - Jan 21, 2017
Is fashion detrimental to society? People look into exterior beauty without notice of inner beauty

2 - Maritsa, I strongly suggest that you post the original prompt discussion that you are responding to along with your...

Writing Feedbackmaritsa - Jan 20, 2017 / Holt - Jan 20, 2017
GRE Argument task for a hobby shop at Grilldon

7 - Thank you everyone for their feedback! I will improve before my exam date. Thanks!...

Writing Feedbackpayal1982 - Jan 18, 2017 / payal1982 - Jan 19, 2017
Death Penalty should be given or not? The use of capital punishment

6 - @Holt Thank you for the detailed explanation....

Writing Feedbackdrjanck_82 - Jan 18, 2017 / drjanck_82 - Jan 19, 2017
IELTS TASK 2: A free university education should be applied in Vietnam. What is your opinion?

2 - Thanh, I do not believe that you can score higher than a 5 in the overall score for this...

Writing Feedbacktabiris - Jan 19, 2017 / Holt - Jan 19, 2017
Several changes of silkworm in its life cycle and method to produce silk cloth

3 - Hi Ayu, listen, I feel like this summary report is not one of your best work. There is a...

Writing Feedbackayuriska - Jan 18, 2017 / Holt - Jan 19, 2017
The graph presents information about comparison of spending on petrol between people in the UK & USA

4 - Grienda, for starters, always remember to include a copy of illustration that your report is based on when you...

Writing Feedbackgribigribi - Jan 5, 2017 / Holt - Jan 19, 2017
The proportion of telephone calls in the UK

4 - Ayu, there are instances when you should use a comma and when you should a period in your sentence...

Writing Feedbackayuriska - Jan 13, 2017 / Holt - Jan 19, 2017
IELTS - Writing t2 - Mobile telephones have brought many benefits but they have also had negatives

3 - Phuong, do you see the reason that you gave in the conclusion of your essay? You should not have...

Writing Feedbackphuong1312 - Jan 18, 2017 / Holt - Jan 18, 2017
Corporation has a responsibility towards society and environment apart from maximizing profits.

5 - Thanks for the information Payal. I hope you won't mind that I will be giving your work a score...

Writing Feedbackpayal1982 - Jan 16, 2017 / Holt - Jan 17, 2017
The number of times that youngsters ate 3 kinds of junk food namely pizza, hamburgers, fish & chips

4 - @bellajane pizzas and burgers were the lowest consumption this sentence does not make good sense it should have...

Writing Feedbackbellajane - Jan 17, 2017 / drjanck - Jan 17, 2017

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