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Writing Feedback

Research advice on TOEFL, SAT, IELTS, GRE and other academic essays (page 5)

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Essay about the advantages of co-operation in your learning English

5 - can you help me correct the fault...

Writing Feedbacklahavip06 - Dec 18, 2016 / lahavip06 - Dec 18, 2016
We have to depend on technology which makes our life easier, but we need to use it in a proper way.

5 - Jone, your overall score for this essay could be a 5 in terms of task accuracy. That is because...

Writing Feedbackjone75 - Dec 16, 2016 / Holt - Dec 18, 2016
Factories not stadiums, is what we need. Do you agree? Argumentative essay

2 - Azeddine, Somehow I don't feel like you posted the complete prompt along with the essay. The reason that i...

Writing FeedbackAdam10 - Dec 17, 2016 / Holt - Dec 17, 2016
TOPIC OF AN ORIGINAL ARTICLE I AM WRITING ON: THE CAREER WOMAN

5 - Go ahead and use my suggested title and topic if you wish to Chizaram. I am glad that I...

Writing Feedbackchizy7 - Dec 16, 2016 / Holt - Dec 17, 2016
GRE-University should require all students to take classes outside of the students' field of study

5 - @Holt Thank you very much for your recommendation. I will do so. :-)...

Writing Feedbackxuesun - Dec 15, 2016 / xuesun - Dec 16, 2016
Advertising directed only to a particular target audiences who can make decision for their selves

3 - @Holt Thank you for your valuable feedback Mary. I realize that my essay is too rigid. I will try...

Writing FeedbackStreetwalker - Dec 16, 2016 / Streetwalker - Dec 16, 2016
The line graph provides the information about the number of people who visit Australia

2 - Combining the information from the graph and table into the overview sentence is quite simple. You don't need to...

Writing Feedbackkrempetkov - Dec 15, 2016 / ichanpants89 - Dec 16, 2016
Working as volunteers should be taken into consideration for children - WRITING TASK 2

4 - Obviously, this concern is proliferating and gaining fame ... ... is pivotal factor to burgeon their self-development. ... interact...

Writing FeedbackNinaJoesuf25 - Dec 15, 2016 / ngokhoa99 - Dec 16, 2016
Technologies such as computer benefits society

6 - In your essay, you mostly focused on the usage of computers using "the Internet". But before the Internet was...

Writing FeedbackHoaidepchi - Dec 7, 2016 / mualla - Dec 16, 2016
Three exported products (graph) such as meat products, dairy products, and international tourism

2 - Hi let me give you some grammar corrections and my suggestions: The given bar chart informs the comparisons aboutcompares...

Writing FeedbackFatirtalent - Sep 27, 2016 / mualla - Dec 15, 2016
CANADIANS SCHOLARS from a third level of education in Canada - the rising trend

3 - Initially, the female proportion broke the record as the highest one -- Well, "broke the record" is definitely not...

Writing Feedbackeve01 - Nov 10, 2016 / krempetkov - Dec 15, 2016
People tend to enjoy interaction with their friends in social networking more than in the real life

5 - @yika In my view and agree are repetitive in the starting. Tend to agree --only agree can work....

Writing Feedbackyika - Dec 6, 2016 / abdon786 - Dec 15, 2016
Wasting production in Six different countries in twenty years period presented in Table

4 - In contrast, the 1980's waste production of (write in instead) Japan was represented ......

Writing Feedbackanggicaroot - Nov 2, 2015 / Jeremy Newcastl - Dec 15, 2016
Almost every country consider smoking in public areas as a detrimental issue.

2 - Nur, your task accuracy score is 3. Yes, it is a failing score. Why did you fail? Consider the...

Writing Feedbackawe_28 - Feb 21, 2016 / Holt - Dec 15, 2016
Causes of stress in society nowadays - working environment, financial condition and family issue.

2 - Hi, Although I can see your main points about stress, I believe your writing would benefit if you...

Writing FeedbackHoaidepchi - Dec 14, 2016 / mualla - Dec 15, 2016
The length of phone calls in the United Kingdom - WRITING TASK 1

2 - Be careful in providing false descriptions because it wasn't a line graph, yet it is a bar chart. Also,...

Writing FeedbackNinaJoesuf25 - Dec 14, 2016 / ichanpants89 - Dec 14, 2016
Ielts writing task 1 -The graph reveals the information in regard to the ownership

3 - George, you are suggested to complete the description of information in the overview / introduction part in your essay....

Writing Feedbackkrempetkov - Nov 30, 2016 / ichanpants89 - Dec 14, 2016
Writing test exercise for ielts; the number of trips to and from UK increased every year 1979-1999

3 - Resa, writing an acceptable and recommended paragraphing structure for an IELTS task 1 is not that difficult. It is...

Writing Feedbackresair - Dec 2, 2016 / ichanpants89 - Dec 14, 2016
Ielts writing task 2 - Safety standards are important when building people's homes.

3 - The thing that makes your essay seems odd is because you did not answer the question properly. Reaching band...

Writing Feedbackkrempetkov - Dec 8, 2016 / ichanpants89 - Dec 14, 2016
The alteration of an island; new vehicle track and footpath to connect the western and eastern areas

6 - I can see some improvements and that's quite good. Yet, there are still some rooms to enhance the quality...

Writing FeedbackNinaJoesuf25 - Dec 13, 2016 / ichanpants89 - Dec 14, 2016
Businesses and their profit - they should protect the environment instead and help others in need

2 - You need to remember that any types of argumentative writing, either TOEFL or IELTS needs an outline of the...

Writing Feedbacktheunnamedfeelin - Dec 13, 2016 / ichanpants89 - Dec 14, 2016
The increasing number of the elderly people and its influence on society

2 - Hello Zen, Your writing is well structured, I can tell that you've planned out how to deliver the...

Writing Feedbackzen111 - Jun 18, 2015 / CDuke93 - Dec 13, 2016
IS IT ACCEPTABLE FOR CHILDREN TO LEARN FOREIGN LANGUAGE AT PRIMARY SCHOOL? WRITING TASK 2

2 - @NinaJoesuf25 NinaJoesuf25 Needless to say ; ** could you replace this with a different phrase? What I...

Writing FeedbackNinaJoesuf25 - Dec 13, 2016 / CDuke93 - Dec 13, 2016
The importance of communication skills in job relation

4 - Hello, 1. ... 60 percent which it is mean(two verbs) that .. 2. types tend to increase by...

Writing Feedbackyika - Dec 6, 2016 / Arlen - Dec 13, 2016
I disagree with the opinion that says always telling the truth in a relationship is important.

5 - first of all, I think your typesetting is quite odd. It will be better if you can do some...

Writing Feedbacksushantpaygude - Jun 16, 2016 / Arlen - Dec 13, 2016
IELTS task 1: How heat is lost and energy wasted since the air circulation in a house

3 - Your paragraphs are too short to be considered an actual summary of the diagram that you were provided with....

Writing FeedbackPramudita - Nov 1, 2015 / Holt - Dec 13, 2016
The proportion of water in six gulf countries in 2000, based on three main objectives

2 - Azmi, here's my feedback towards your first and last paragraph. I hope you can follow through. 1st paragraph:...

Writing Feedbackazmi23 - Sep 2, 2016 / ichanpants89 - Dec 13, 2016
Various ways of communication summary - all contribute to conveying information equally

3 - Ignacy, you neglected to represent what I consider to be the key point of the essay prompt. You failed...

Writing Feedbackwladca - Dec 12, 2016 / Holt - Dec 13, 2016
English spoken throughout the world essay

2 - Ivan, your paraphrased prompt is incomplete. You were supposed to mention that there are languages that are slowly losing...

Writing Feedbackuzbeklord - Dec 12, 2016 / Holt - Dec 12, 2016
The information about the air diffusion in a house and how it reduces heat

3 - Dear Lincoln, There are 3 main part in this IELTS part 1: 1. Introduction --> Paraphrase the...

Writing FeedbackAbrahamlincoln - Dec 7, 2016 / debby17 - Dec 12, 2016
WRITING TASK 1 Process making of bricks for building industry

2 - Sari, where did the term loam, that you keep using throughout most of the essay come from? There is...

Writing Feedbackss158284 - Dec 12, 2016 / Holt - Dec 12, 2016
The Spammy Pokemon Go Apps Being Pushed to Millions of iPhones

2 - Eka, there are a number of misinformation in your current summary article. Most of them are quite serious because...

Writing Feedbackekalamarsyari11 - Sep 13, 2016 / Holt - Dec 12, 2016
Traveling is a good way of improving our knowledge

2 - Love the last paragraph that includes your opinion along with a quote. But have you thought of bringing that...

Writing Feedbackbongxugalaxie - Jan 8, 2013 / giuzu98 - Dec 12, 2016
Corporations should focus on taking people who are innovative and able to work self-contained

3 - I really liked the fact that you first included a background on the popular belief and then talked about...

Writing FeedbackWilyaftika23 - Nov 30, 2016 / giuzu98 - Dec 11, 2016
Thesis for essay on Japanese internment versus the Holocaust?

4 - Hi Lily, I think the problem is that there is not enough of a backstory when it comes to...

Writing Feedbackcocobean3 - Dec 11, 2016 / Holt - Dec 11, 2016
In this modern society, the more languages you can speak, the more competitive you are

3 - Arlen, what made you think that the discussion being provided by the prompt asked you to consider the age...

Writing FeedbackArlen - Nov 30, 2016 / Holt - Dec 11, 2016
Cause and problems: Stress in your country (length of essay over 100 words)

4 - @hanhchoick yes,i live in Hanoi.U too?...

Writing Feedbackvoivua1993 - Dec 10, 2016 / voivua1993 - Dec 10, 2016
Opinion Essay (The Athletics Centre in Georgian College)

2 - Aha, your thesis statement needs work. I am not sure what it is you are trying to present in...

Writing FeedbackAhaSeki - Dec 10, 2016 / Holt - Dec 10, 2016
DO YOU AGREE THAT THE STUDY OF MATHEMATICS IS ESSENTIAL TO THE PROGRESS OF HUMAN RACE?

4 - In my opinion, the study of Mathematics is essential to the progress of human race. - I like this...

Writing Feedbackphamlethutrang99 - Dec 3, 2016 / krempetkov - Dec 9, 2016
The various plus points of international tourism are definitely worth the exchange.

3 - Six, ownership of the information and opinion that is presented in an opinion essay is very important. It shows...

Writing Feedbackcoucou97 - Dec 9, 2016 / Holt - Dec 9, 2016
TED Summary - The Internet Secret

4 - Try to rephrase confide citizens the concealed (...) privacy of internet users"?, try making it easier for readers to...

Writing FeedbackAbrahamlincoln - Dec 9, 2016 / kervina - Dec 9, 2016
New Zealand: the cricket as a sport which attracted the smallest number of girls to involve in

6 - I am also interested in ilets and following up so many sources "we" language is not preffered so much....

Writing Feedbackhanhchoick - Dec 6, 2016 / clementiness - Dec 9, 2016
The controversy statement that American's airport left far away from other countries' airports

2 - Lincoln, I think that you need to learn more about collocation. Your sentence structure seems quite confusing due to...

Writing FeedbackAbrahamlincoln - Dec 9, 2016 / ichanpants89 - Dec 9, 2016
Article Summary : Longer 'Penis' drives evolution of bigger brains in female fish

2 - Some suggestions for better clarity: "...bigger genitals means more mating success. Suprisingly..." "become larger and to escape from over...

Writing Feedbacknda18 - Dec 9, 2016 / rousua - Dec 9, 2016
Nile River Civilization influences on the Modern World

2 - Some suggestions to help clean it up and bring more clarity: "it is undoubted that all early civilizations"...

Writing Feedbackjamiewach - Dec 7, 2016 / rousua - Dec 9, 2016
Listening Summary : Chaos Theory - the alteration of dynamic variables

2 - #... and mathematics that focuses on the alteration of dynamic variables. #changes in environment. However, this theory > changes...

Writing Feedbacknda18 - Dec 9, 2016 / sus_007 - Dec 9, 2016
The world in 2076: Artificial starlight has made energy free

2 - ... which appropriate withfor nuclear power. ... million kilometers away from people' site , so we cannot ... ......

Writing Feedbackmem77 - Dec 9, 2016 / NinaJoesuf25 - Dec 9, 2016
People can freely choose clothes they like, while they cannot be assessed from their appearance

3 - Aloha Kurnia, here are my thoughts for you; (1) word choices basically, it is absolutely crucial that you...

Writing Feedbackkurnia - Dec 8, 2016 / ibe13 - Dec 9, 2016
The appearance of people as one of the essential indications of what characteristics they possess

3 - hi dioba, > i found that your essay is not answer the task, because i think your idea...

Writing FeedbackDioba - Dec 8, 2016 / nda18 - Dec 9, 2016
Writing Task I about the relationship between worker with their supervisor and partners.

4 - Aloha Dioba, here are my thoughts for your essay; A breakdown of the information about examination outcome of...

Writing FeedbackDioba - Dec 8, 2016 / ibe13 - Dec 8, 2016
Where is the best place for children to learn how to be a good member of society?

2 - First of all, I do not think your introduction is appropriate for the exam. I will suggest to use...

Writing Feedbackimagenius - Dec 8, 2016 / krempetkov - Dec 8, 2016
Article Summary - New Investigation from Malaysia Airlines

2 - Lincoln, I am sure that this is too short for an article summary. You are suggested to write more...

Writing FeedbackAbrahamlincoln - Dec 8, 2016 / ichanpants89 - Dec 8, 2016
The average distance in miles which people drove to somewhere else in England from 1985 to 2000

3 - Mardian, apart from the above-mentioned feedback from one of EF contributors, I would like to focus on your content....

Writing Feedbackmardian24 - Dec 2, 2016 / ichanpants89 - Dec 8, 2016
Some people argue that judging from the clothes that they wear is not appropriate. Others disagree.

3 - Do not create a 'hung' introduction paragraph if you want to reach band 6 or above. It should be...

Writing Feedbackyika - Dec 8, 2016 / ichanpants89 - Dec 8, 2016
The education fee should not be charged for every student with different household budget

3 - There are many IELTS candidates that have the same mistake in deciding their position towards the essay. I believe...

Writing Feedbackleeminhee - Dec 8, 2016 / ichanpants89 - Dec 8, 2016
"The Aesthetics of Silence" My personal essay on remaining silent

4 - Is Aaron still your best friend at this point? After this falling out, did the two of you become...

Writing FeedbackRahulkb - Dec 8, 2016 / Holt - Dec 8, 2016
The pie charts reveal about the outcome of study which was conducted in 2005 and 2009

3 - Apart from grammatical errors in the first paragraph, I can see you misinterpreted the word "pattern" and "trend". These...

Writing FeedbackUQ17 - Dec 8, 2016 / ichanpants89 - Dec 8, 2016
Supervisor vs co-employees - the graph show about result of survey to employee

5 - There are several mistakes in your summary. 1.The graph( it only singular, but i get the picture from other...

Writing Feedbackkurnia - Dec 8, 2016 / Dioba - Dec 8, 2016
The relationship between supervisors and co-employs in the working life

4 - Hi Yuri,there are several mistakes in your summary. 1.The relationship (...) is illustrated in two (the fact, more...

Writing Feedbackyika - Dec 8, 2016 / Dioba - Dec 8, 2016
An appearance of Internet has made significant changes in the way people live

3 - @ichanpants89 Thank you for the ideas for me...

Writing FeedbackPhuong_Loan - Dec 7, 2016 / Phuong_Loan - Dec 8, 2016

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