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"Moving on" - impact on my life UF essay :)

3 - I think you should use " " marks and reword like this: "Moving on" is a term that...

Undergraduateacat6332 - Oct 30, 2009EF_Kevin - Nov 1, 2009
"The non-athletic guy" - Common App Personal Essay

2 - I think its very conversational which is always a plus in a essay. It's witty and really does talk...

UndergraduateSignifica - Nov 1, 2009sopheebliss - Nov 1, 2009
'little delicate bells ringing' - Stanford - the Intellectual Engaging essay

6 - Click on the Username to find all threads strated by user X :)...

Undergraduatechoi_minho - Oct 31, 2009EF_Team - Nov 1, 2009
A Bit Unlikely, Common App Personal Essay-Influential Fictional Character Prompt

6 - Anyone else? :D...

Undergraduatemattsaysfierce - Oct 29, 2009mattsaysfierce - Nov 1, 2009
Common Application Essay (Stanford) - Topic of your Choice (English major)

3 - This is incredible. I have helped my friends who got into top ivy schools to revise their essays, and...

UndergraduateRNS - Oct 29, 2009Noob in writing - Nov 1, 2009
Common Application: influential figure

3 - Great, great essay. Nothing is as important in admission essay writing than to offer the reader some relief from...

Undergraduatestevieg - Oct 30, 2009EF_Kevin - Nov 1, 2009
"flight 931!" - UF ESSAY draft can someone revise it

3 - Brandy, that is a great contribution, thanks! Hi Maritza, I think you did a great job of explaining...

Undergraduatemimi911 - Oct 30, 2009EF_Kevin - Nov 1, 2009
Ode to a nightingale by John Keats

2 - ...and thoughts by using multiple techniques different ways . It looks like you need one more sentence in...

Writing Feedbacklazord - Oct 30, 2009EF_Kevin - Nov 1, 2009
Poetry Analysis Essay: Dylan Thomas- "Do Not Go Gently into That Good Night"

2 - In that first sentence, you don't need a comma after the title of the work. Hey, what does...

Writing FeedbackRod_Farva - Oct 30, 2009EF_Kevin - Nov 1, 2009
Common App Essay: "Why I Shouldn't Go To College"

10 - Hi there, I liked your essay and thanks for sharing it! I do have some thoughts for you....

Undergraduatepennhopefull - Oct 30, 2009ivyeyesediting - Nov 1, 2009
Macaulay Honors-Internet is a boon to Intellectual Development

2 - One way to make it shorter and also better is to eliminate unnecessary words: At 4:00 PM on...

Undergraduatevladr72492 - Oct 30, 2009EF_Kevin - Nov 1, 2009
Statement - I come to Brooklyn to teach these kids

4 - I loved this essay! I love the language you used to show the transition of your feelings of exasperation...

Undergraduateicysakura - Oct 29, 2009smallfry320 - Nov 1, 2009
CBEST exam topic ideas?

12 - Everyone has different ways of processing information, so what is right for me might now be what is right...

Essaysjaneypooh - Jul 21, 2009EF_Kevin - Nov 1, 2009
'my dream with various courses' - Northwestern essay

3 - Although there are many reasons why Northwestern is my higher education destination, my primary reason is its academic excellence....

Undergraduatedelta598 - Nov 1, 2009Lunacy - Nov 1, 2009
University of Michigan (Issue of Local Concern)

5 - Thank you so much for the great advice Kevin! I will edit this and post a revised one soon....

UndergraduateFiddysin - Oct 29, 2009Fiddysin - Nov 1, 2009
The Lifetime Challenge within Me - Common App Main Essay

7 - What were you doing when you wrote this? I feel like you were sitting at your computer fiddling with...

Undergraduatehope123 - Oct 30, 2009ekfoong - Nov 1, 2009
"Human needs..": Disagree or agree.

2 - Wow, nice job. You will do very well, for sure. If you want to make this even better,...

Writing FeedbackFloria_ran - Oct 29, 2009EF_Kevin - Nov 1, 2009
my brother leaves for war-common app essay

3 - Great job with this one. It shows that you write well, but it also shows how INTROSPECTIVE you are......

Undergraduatebatgirl - Oct 29, 2009EF_Kevin - Nov 1, 2009
"Survivial of the Fittest" - UCF ESSAY - BUMP IN THE ROAD

3 - ...years of bottling my worries up finally took their toll. I had reached rock bottom; I felt alo...

Undergraduatejiggysmalls - Oct 29, 2009EF_Kevin - Nov 1, 2009
Pride in one's own heritage, and prejudice against others.

3 - Great question!! I have to give my honest opinion and say there is no difference -- none at all....

Essaysbrood910 - Oct 29, 2009EF_Kevin - Nov 1, 2009
Grad School Personal statem. in Childhood Education Major; from art to education

9 - Yes, the key word is "personality." I use Questia, but it costs money. there are plenty of free article...

EssaysDia - Jan 8, 2009EF_Kevin - Nov 1, 2009
Why I want to study engineering/Computer Science. Fu Foundation Short Answer

5 - Try to make it as personal as possible. I know it sound cliche, but if you can relate you...

Undergraduateknichols05 - Oct 28, 2009perejdam - Nov 1, 2009
Tootsie Herndon - Someone who has impacted your life.

4 - Use a comma: ...my grandmother, Tootsie Herndon. Capitalize those God pronouns: ...took her when He did was to......

Undergraduatecmbillings - Oct 29, 2009EF_Kevin - Nov 1, 2009
'Beauty and the beast' - Stanford #1: Intellectually engaging activity

3 - As a reader who does not know much about music (beyond jazz, some classical and some pop/hip hop) and...

UndergraduateBartok - Oct 31, 2009linmark - Nov 1, 2009
Short answer-desire for a particular kind of learning, community, and future

2 - Interesting opening which leads naturally to your point about coming from a large (200??) family. What does it mean...

Undergraduatetkkt1 - Nov 1, 2009linmark - Nov 1, 2009
commonapp short answer (150 words) - basketball

6 - No - seeing just your teammates does not count as teamwork. Before making any further comments, please note that...

Undergraduatehbrad8002 - Oct 29, 2009linmark - Nov 1, 2009
Common App #4 - Fictional Influence (Free Thinking)

4 - Thanks for the suggestions Vulpix. My English teacher told me the same thing about the abstractness, but what I...

UndergraduateSesmo - Oct 31, 2009Sesmo - Nov 1, 2009
Career goals: Include a brief statement of your plans for the field of study

7 - Thanks! I did mention something the college offer to me, such as "Meanwhile, Purdue has its unique major settings,...

Undergraduatemikelu - Oct 26, 2009mikelu - Nov 1, 2009
In five or six sentences, tell us how you first became interested in BU

10 - Well~your answer is much more compelling than mine since I live far away from US~Good luck~...

Undergraduateyolaynyciriaco - Oct 14, 2009ying7686 - Nov 1, 2009
The knowledge from books and knowledge from experience are, in fact, two diffrent stages of learning

3 - Thanks for your feedback. This essay i m preparing for IELTS exam. cheers Kumar...

Writing Feedbacklucidmanner - Oct 29, 2009lucidmanner - Nov 1, 2009
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