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write to thank a local businessman for giving large sum of money to the club....

3 - Noted. Thanks alot. I will try to improve on it. How about the details I have written? Is there...

Writing Feedbackdylantcp - Oct 21, 2009dylantcp - Oct 22, 2009
Common App Prompt I, My ubringing and family influence on my career choice

2 - Your essay is very heavily cliched. You make a number of grand statements, yet show no level of analysis...

Undergraduatelucifersam - Oct 22, 2009Liebe - Oct 22, 2009
"Spanish is my passioin" - undergraduate

3 - ^Were you not already fluent in Spanish? Are you exaggerating the amount of intellectual discovery that took place...

Undergraduateroxy - Oct 22, 2009Liebe - Oct 22, 2009
life in prison is better punishment than death penalty

5 - Yes, I gathered that. But you have to explain why one should hold that view if you want...

Writing Feedbackthinhtvdhtm - Oct 18, 2009EF_Sean - Oct 22, 2009
I need help finding a topic for my research paper (Intro to Linguistics class)

6 - Have you come up with something? It's very unusual for a lecturer to ask a student to come...

Research PapersKikoxx - Oct 8, 2009RuffNot - Oct 22, 2009
"Han-bok" - U of Michigan diversity essay

6 - Good job, but I think you can make it more interesting to read....

Undergraduatetnwls4588 - Oct 20, 2009zouztingt - Oct 22, 2009
"Teach for India" why?

3 - Thanks a lot for givining the feedback..i will rewrite and send it again with keeping all the point u...

Writing Feedbackruchika kumari - Oct 21, 2009ruchika kumari - Oct 22, 2009
Krishna,confucius and gilgamesh essay

3 - Hello, here is the prompt of my essay and then i also wrote my essay but can you please...

Essaysfaryalkhan - Oct 17, 2009faryalkhan - Oct 22, 2009
I Do Also Have a Dream.

8 - thank you all guys!...

Undergraduateqomoco - Oct 20, 2009qomoco - Oct 21, 2009
Michigan Supplement. Kite Runner

3 - you have a summary of the book here. You focus on betrayal, so relate that to your life. Did...

Undergraduatesaft10 - Oct 19, 2009mkpakva - Oct 21, 2009
How people can gain job satisfaction?/ Factors contributing to job satisfaction

5 - to be honest, i am not really comfortable with this essay. i think that it is not convincing enough;...

Writing Feedbackthinhtvdhtm - Oct 21, 2009thinhtvdhtm - Oct 21, 2009
Describe something in your life that has been meaningful to you.

3 - Did you know that this is actually a negative term? The proper word here is fame. ...

Undergraduatescaremechelle - Oct 21, 2009EF_Stephen - Oct 21, 2009
'an evil demon' - It was only a dream; essay

4 - If you want your writing to really sizzle, use fewer adjectives and more expressive verbs. That will help you...

Writing Feedbackchie - Oct 21, 2009EF_Stephen - Oct 21, 2009
Romanticism - British literature essay. i need a good proofread.

3 - I'm also glad that you made references to the poets. But I think there's some information here that came...

Writing Feedbackehoskin24 - Oct 20, 2009EF_Stephen - Oct 21, 2009
"I must form a balance between the world about me and the world inside me" - NU supplement

6 - The structure is weakened by your very long paragraphs. You definitely need to break that up into smaller chunks....

Undergraduateurbuddy542 - Oct 21, 2009EF_Stephen - Oct 21, 2009
One of the first paintings I ever fell in love with was Van Gogh's Starry Night

3 - First of all, I agree with reader about the word count requirement. Second, I can feel your passion...

Undergraduatejoellek - Oct 20, 2009EF_Stephen - Oct 21, 2009
Common Application Essay + Short Answer (Peru, Argentina)

7 - Yeah, make it two sentences!...

Undergraduatedeadmouse - Oct 19, 2009tsunami - Oct 21, 2009
The Joy of Small Things (Common App essay #1)

7 - ^Nope, the transitions are excellent. As soon as I read the first paragraph, I had a good sense of...

Undergraduatepprajoth - Oct 19, 2009hope123 - Oct 21, 2009
"the best team in our district" - critique my short answer essay

7 - This is a perfect opportunity to make football something more. We all played for the glory. That's kind of...

Undergraduatelalit008 - Oct 21, 2009EF_Stephen - Oct 21, 2009
Essay for Vet Tech School

3 - Thank you! I was actually reading over it again and got halfway through the third paragraph before I...

Undergraduatekaykay27 - Oct 21, 2009kaykay27 - Oct 21, 2009
DESTRUCTION OF GREENHOUSE; Earth has loosen his source.

6 - The environmentalist movement is merely a manifestation of the human need to adhere to some sort of religious belief....

Writing Feedbackangeltetra - Sep 3, 2007EF_Sean - Oct 21, 2009
"different aspects of my life" - FSU Essay: Paragraph 1 about Vires, Artes and Mores

4 - Yes, I understand that it's only an intro. In fact, my advice to people posting their essays here, especially...

UndergraduateCillaC - Oct 21, 2009EF_Sean - Oct 21, 2009
WHAT is the message that advertisement is communicating to the viewer?

2 - You need to greatly tighten up this essay. You might start by looking at how the elements you describe...

Writing Feedbackmtelsayed - Oct 20, 2009EF_Sean - Oct 21, 2009
'Not athletic' - Common App short answer extracurricular - football

2 - Playing football is a passion of mine, but it has not always been. In fact, many people, including myself,...

Undergraduatefink1318 - Oct 20, 2009EF_Sean - Oct 21, 2009
Common App personal experience "Making the Jump"

2 - Overall, good essay. I like your use of similes and strong description throughout. A few minor things: ...

Undergraduatejoellek - Oct 19, 2009EF_Sean - Oct 21, 2009
College essay for Wentworth; scraped palms, skinned knees

2 - You like skating (skateboarding?) and are good at it. Great. And this makes you a good applicant for university...

Undergraduatestoops - Oct 21, 2009EF_Sean - Oct 21, 2009
My Challenge of being a Team Player (all kinds of sports) - scholarship essay

2 - This seems rather negative. You go on to say that no one blamed you, and that this...

Scholarshipdanlee92 - Oct 20, 2009EF_Sean - Oct 21, 2009
Common app - Italy!! Legend words

8 - I tried to make it more concise. but it was proven hard to do without losing meaning. any tips?...

Undergraduatesammiepuddle - Oct 20, 2009sammiepuddle - Oct 21, 2009
Essay about the influence of Parents on Kids

2 - This is great, very engaging. I couldn't stop reading because of the emotion it conveyed. You should go...

Writing Feedbackriaboo46 - Oct 20, 2009EF_Kevin - Oct 21, 2009
Common App essay, information systems specific. Custom prompt "IT"

2 - Here are some corrections regarding comma use: No comma necessary in this sentence: I found a Macintosh application...

Undergraduateitunesdj - Oct 19, 2009EF_Kevin - Oct 21, 2009
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