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Moving to a positive direction of intellectual curiosity - FSU Essay

2 - For clarification and to further organize your essay, try using the actual words of their philosophies in your essay....

UndergraduateSkatertim10 - Oct 31, 2008EF_Team5 - Nov 1, 2008
WHAT EXPERIENCES HAVE INFLUENCED YOU TO OPT FOR ENGINEERING?

3 - thanx a lot for ur help...

Undergraduategarysept21 - Oct 30, 2008garysept21 - Nov 1, 2008
sleek and stylish designs drew me in - Common App: Personal statement

3 - Your focus seems a bit scattered. The essay starts strong and conveys a clear message: your interest in technology,...

UndergraduateFadedSpirits - Oct 31, 2008Chink - Oct 31, 2008
Everything begins at any circumstance in life - FSU essay

2 - You have some good points in this essay, but overall it is a bit disorganized. Focus on a couple...

Writing Feedbacknemiperuvian - Oct 30, 2008EF_Team5 - Oct 31, 2008
Community Service-Teaching and Chinese calligraphy -HELP ON Extra-cirrcular

2 - Good afternoon. I think the community service topic affords you more possibilities to display multiple facets of your...

Undergraduatefabxx - Oct 30, 2008EF_Team5 - Oct 31, 2008
"only winning over myself, will I win over the world." - Admissions Essay

4 - Good afternoon. As I am not a member of the UF admissions manual, I will not be able...

Undergraduateagus3264 - Oct 29, 2008EF_Team5 - Oct 31, 2008
taking challenging courses in school - evaluate my FSU Admission Essay?

2 - Good afternoon. A few mechanical suggestions. "Who's" should be "whose." Remove the comma after "high school." Also, avoid...

Undergraduatebryambautista - Oct 30, 2008EF_Team5 - Oct 31, 2008
From visiting my two brothers at UCF I determined that UCF is the perfect school for me.

2 - Good afternoon. One of my brothers worked on campus for UCF. After visiting them, I noticed many...

UndergraduateJoshrules - Oct 30, 2008EF_Team5 - Oct 31, 2008
Competitions, National Honors Society, NYU school - supplemental essays

2 - sorry do you mind if u edit more of my other essays as well? thanks a lot!! ...

Undergraduatenyczxgemii - Oct 30, 2008nyczxgemii - Oct 30, 2008
[Argument]The residents of San Perdito should vote Montoya out of office

3 - I really appriate your help. Please point out in details what I can do to improve my essay. Are...

Writing Feedbackfranklamparden - Oct 30, 2008franklamparden - Oct 30, 2008
Important activity+motivation for making application-UT Honors Short Essays

NEW - I have two essays that I have completed and I want to make sure each are grammatically correct and...

Scholarshipbully - Oct 30, 2008 -
'My dad says not to give up' - Role Model Essay

6 - I made corrections, and explained more some ideas, i don't know if know it flows. As you form...

Undergraduatekatika2008 - Oct 29, 2008katika2008 - Oct 30, 2008
Global society, maximization of benefits - UT Honors program essay

3 - Thanks for your input! I always have had trouble ending essays. Your help is very appreciated....

Undergraduatebully - Oct 29, 2008bully - Oct 30, 2008
Calculus & Diversity - Common App Essay

3 - Thank you so much for your quick response! I will go fix that. Also, somehow this sentence seems...

UndergraduateDamselfly - Oct 30, 2008Damselfly - Oct 30, 2008
Penn autobiography; Adults and children are nearly two entirely separate species

2 - Good afternoon. Mechanically, when you start something with quotation marks, make sure you finish it. For instance, what...

Undergraduatex3racha3l - Oct 30, 2008EF_Team5 - Oct 30, 2008
Drawing inspiration from Depression - Common App Essay

2 - Good afternoon. Mechanically, avoid using contractions in formal academic writing; they are inappropriate and many instructors will count...

Undergraduatemattvroeg - Oct 30, 2008EF_Team5 - Oct 30, 2008
to spend summer in New Zealand - Common App essay

2 - Good afternoon. Mechanically, a couple of things. First, avoid contractions in formal academic writing; they are inappropriate...

Undergraduatespinningjenny - Oct 30, 2008EF_Team5 - Oct 30, 2008
In the hospitable bed, UF Essay: Meaningful Experience

2 - Good afternoon. The only thing I noticed about this piece was a contraction- "I'd." Make sure you avoid...

UndergraduateObie55 - Oct 30, 2008EF_Team5 - Oct 30, 2008
I will always seek the goodness around me - UF Essay

2 - Good afternoon. While this is a very well crafted introspective piece, I'm not sure it answers the prompt....

Undergraduatebitofvanilla91 - Oct 30, 2008EF_Team5 - Oct 30, 2008
My very first Youth and Government meeting - Common App Essay 250+

2 - Good afternoon. Just a few mechanical suggestions. First, when "referring" to something, make sure you are using...

Undergraduatecavemenrppl2 - Oct 30, 2008EF_Team5 - Oct 30, 2008
a class taught by a historic figure-living or dead - Writing sample

2 - Good afternoon. First, remember punctuation at the end of every sentence. Second, do you mean "stooped," or...

Undergraduatemickeygirl - Oct 30, 2008EF_Team5 - Oct 30, 2008
Legend / Subtitles... description of images in texts.

2 - Good afternoon. Generally they are called "captions." "Together," "with," "in addition to," or "alongside" could also work....

Grammar, Usagesaragrunhagen - Oct 30, 2008EF_Team5 - Oct 30, 2008
question about application requirement

2 - Good afternoon. The prompt asks you to put forth an original idea and support it, so it seems...

Graduatefx3z - Oct 30, 2008EF_Team5 - Oct 30, 2008
"Why Carnegie Mellon University"

2 - Good afternoon. A few things. First, make sure you are only capitalizing proper nouns and the first...

Undergraduatecloudone - Oct 30, 2008EF_Team5 - Oct 30, 2008
To become a youth leader at my church - meaningful accomplishment in my life. UF Admission Essay

2 - Good afternoon. Just one correction: "In order to become a youth leader, I had to attend a...

UndergraduateSturz15 - Oct 29, 2008EF_Team5 - Oct 30, 2008
fulfilling life because of Color - UF essay

2 - Good afternoon. A couple of suggestions. First "team mate" is one word: "teammate." Also, the conclusion is a...

Undergraduatelizcamp - Oct 29, 2008EF_Team5 - Oct 30, 2008
My passion towards History - UMich Essays.

2 - Good afternoon. First, mechanics for the first piece: "But somehow, I found myself caught up in teaching...

UndergraduateJaney - Oct 29, 2008EF_Team5 - Oct 30, 2008
Gardner's theory of multiple intelligences - Persuasive essay on why music should be in school

3 - Good afternoon. I'll go ahead and give you some pointers to get you started: When you use...

Writing Feedbackchazbell - Oct 29, 2008EF_Team5 - Oct 30, 2008
My parents continually pushed me to be the very best - MIT Admissions Essay

NEW - Describe the world you come from, for example your family, clubs, school, community or town. How has the world...

UndergraduateAleksey - Oct 30, 2008 -
'International Human Rights Projects' - short answer for UPenn

NEW - Prompt: Penn offers its undergraduates an eminent faculty and a wealth of research opportunities. Use the space below to...

Undergraduateflickeringlight - Oct 30, 2008 -
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