Writing Feedback / Writing IELTS TASK 2 It is believed that in a bad circumstance, the best decision is to live with it [4]

The personal opinion can be included in one of two ways:
1. The writer may opt to give a point of view after each public opinion presentation, avoiding the need for a stand alone opinion paragraph. (4 paragraphs)

2. The writer has the chance to write a stand alone paragraph after the public opinion explanation. A quick analysis and point of view for both discussion points will be required. Use a comparative paragraph with a clear supporting statement at the end. (5 paragraphs)

The concluding paragraph summarizes the previous discussions. The personal opinion cannot be a part of this as it will cause an open ended, meaning no conclusion statement, which will not recieve a score. Rather, the essay can fail as there is no conclusion present.

Writing Feedback / Task2: the quality of life in the large cities is becoming worse ( cause and solve ) ? [3]

The writer does not write in a natural manner. It has an almost robotic tone to it that the examiner may be led to believe that a translation software was used to complete the paper. The sentence structures are basic in set-up but the word usage tends to be off the mark, making it difficult to assess his point upon first reading. Most of the discussion can use more clarity. The writer needs to be comfortable when writing in English. His uncertainty affects his thought presentation. I am not confident that this type of discussion will be worthy of more than the lowest possible passing score.

Writing Feedback / TASK 1:The charts show what Australian school leavers did immediately after leaving secondary school [3]

The instructions must never be paraphrased in a task 1 essay due to the inaccuracy of the content. In this instance, the restatement was left unclear because there was no reference to the number of pie charts, what information each chart identified, and how the data was measured. The writer failed to give a proper summary of pie chart information leaving the summary overview less informative than it could have been.

Despite the problematic summary, the comparison data provided shows a clear analysis of information. The writer obviously took care in developing the report, allowing him to avoid the common grammar and coherence errors in the final report.

Scholarship / GKS Scholarship (Personal Statement) P.H.D program for Mathematics [3]

The writer has chosen to disregard the information . requirements as dictated by the application forms packet. Aside from a motivation that needs proper rewriting, the essay does not offer relevant information in relation to the discussion presentation list. The total essay is focused on information that would have been acceptable in any other scholarship application, but will produce a disqualification in the GKS scholarship program.

The only way this writer can fix this essay is by deleting this version and starting over. Outline the discussion topics based on the prompt list before drafting a new essay. The winter must understand that he cannot write about what he wants the reviewer to know. He has to write about what they ask him to tell them about. Those are the information that will be considered alongside his submitted academic and professional documents.

Focus on proving a continuing study motivation as supported by the student's previously earned and relevant masters degree. Build the rest of the essay from there witha strong presentation in relation to published work and other accomplishments.

Scholarship / GKS U 2022 - Personal Statement for computer science [3]

The first paragraph is a bit confusing. The topic suddenly changed from the depiction of the writer's interest in computer science to an interest in Korea, midstream and without warning. There is also the misplaced language study presentation that does not belong in this discussion since there is a seperate language study plan tobe witten as a part of the application.

The motivation of the student to study in Korea makes it seem like a misplaced obsession of a personal nature. That must be revised to reflect a solid career path that a Korean education can support. Actually , that is one of the weakest aspects of this discussion. The writer has truly failed to write a compelling plea with this essay. I believe that it is the lack of highlightable accomplishments that did this. The writer needs to go into precise details of individual and individual accomplishments within a group setting. The academic community participation and other accomplishments are presented in a forgettable manner as well. The obstacles discussion does not prove a type of maturity that indicates a sense of maturity that could have prepared the applicant for separation from his family and an ability to succeed in unfamiliar surroundings.

The essay depicts a somewhat established student, but not established enough to compete with other far more accomplished applicants from the applicant's home country. It will not catch the reviewer's interest.

Writing Feedback / Goverments should pay more money to improve and build effective railway system [3]

The writer has totally disregarded the discussion format for this essay. The response was supposed to respond to the question, "to what extent do you agree or disagree ?". The writer created his own discussion topic based on "railways are more necessary than roads". As such, the task accuracy of the essay is now unrelated to the discussion provided. The topic slant and reasoning requirements have changed and do not reflect the original concerns anymore. The essay has received a failing score even before the full scoring assessment could be applied. Even though the reasoning paragraphs relate to the original topic in away, the previous inaccuracies may have made it difficult for the writer to each a passing score.

The writer basically provided a thesis statement without first answering the qquestion. That in where the restatement error , response inaccuracy, and format confusion stems from.

Writing Feedback / Many adults are working from home, and more children are beginning to study from home [2]

The writer could be considered an intermediate level English learner. The sentence presentations are mostly clear, logical, and relevant to the topic. The writer shows an analytical ability that is required of higher education students in the English speaking countries. Though not fluent yet, the writer manages to deliver almost properly structured sentences with a proper simple and complex sentence mix.

The writer tends to use filler sentences though. This lessens the impact of the paragraph because an empty introduction to the topic is used. A sample sentence filler is,


Such statements are more useful as a part of the thesis presentation sentence, prior to the discussion topic listing. For example:

There are several reasons to explain why this is such a useful improvement for us in the modern world. These reasons include...

Writing Feedback / Some people think women should play an equal role in the police and military [2]


The paraphrase cannot begin with this phrase. Since there is no previous discussion presentation, the connecting phrase does not perform its correct grammatical function. This problem will reduce the grammar related score of the essay. The response format does not fall under required guidelines instead. The comparative representation in relation to a personal opinion is incorrect. The mistake was caused by a measured response being used in an essay that does not require it. The task restatement and response is not related to the prompt requirements.

There is no comparative discussion alongside a personal opinion.The writer failed to expand on the public opinion before the personal opinion. The miter did not use the expected response format for the discussion paragraphs. The presentation continues to be faulty throughout the discussion. The final score may be limited to a non-passing grade due to these discussion reference mistakes.

Writing Feedback / Writing Task 1 Bar chart about 9 kinds of sports in 2002 in New Zealand [3]

The summary overview would be better presented if the writer included a run-down of the 9 sports, measurement type, and only one trend in the presentation. The trend is created by a single reference unless a trending paragraph of 3 sentences can be presented. The summary is acceptable, but will not bring in a high preliminary see because it is too short in terms of presentation.

The actual reporting paragraphs are too confusing to follow because the writer is combining various information for both genders in a single paragraph. This tends to be stressful to the reader. The way the graph is laid out, it is important that the reports be laid out by gender in the paragraphs. That makes it easier to follow the report highlights on the part of the reader.

Writing Feedback / Teachers should be responsible for teaching students to judge what is right and wrong [2]

The first paragraph incompletely presents the original discussion. There is no reference to the other opinion that teachers should focus on the teaching of academic subjects only. It is a partially correct response format with an inaccurate reasoning paragraph presentation.

It is obvious that the discussion paragraphs focus only the point of view of the author. The lack of public opinion explanation prior to the general opinion proved this. The author can very well offer a general opinion as a representation of his point of view, provided he first properly delivers the public opinion based on an active third person representation. It is only by comparing the public belief with the write's own point of view for each that the proper comparative discussion format can be delivered in the essay. Discuss both views means compare the opinions with your own. Balance the opinion presentation as best as possible.

Writing Feedback / The advantages for students and society of putting students into two streams at the age of fifteen [2]

The student put forth an excellent representation of the original presentation. The response and thesis statement is also well presented. The vocabulary used is acceptable for an intermediate ESL writer. It is a strong introduction paragraph. The actual problem lies in the explanation paragraphs.

There are 2 lines of reasoning to be presented: academic and vocational. Now, the writer laid out reasons for the existence of rach, but focused only on the vocational discussion throughout the presentation. Such an viror in discussion created an inbalance and lack of proper s development. The academic defense is nowhere to be found.

The discussion is only partially responsive and will only recieve a partial score due to missing discussion references.

Writing Feedback / Some people spend more time reading books while others prefer to watch television. [4]

The writer must take note of the 300 word advised maximum word count for this 40 minute task to avoid increased writing errors in the presentation. At least 5 minutes must be alloted for editing and proofreading prior to submission.

The writer shows a limited vocabulary based on his inability to use other words in place of books. Words such as, paperback, manuals, publications, and handbook, to name a ftersynonyms, would have shown a wider vocabulary for LR scoring. The first sentence of the paraphrase is nota complete thought process.It is meaninglessThe writer also did not provide a direct response to the question. Though implied, it still needs to be stated directly for scoring purposes. Do not attempt to be condescending to the examiner. There are already several reasons to fail your score based on the first paragraph alone.

The overall discussion does not present a clear opinion either. A comparative neutral discussion does not respond to the direct question. One opinion must be chosen and properly justified.

Writing Feedback / The international tourism has become considerably more popular than before - benefits and drawbacks [2]

The writer did not understand that the discussion is to be based on current events and facts based on the pandemic. The fact that air travel made the virus spread faster, thus causing worldwide economic lockdowns means that affordable air travel is a negative development. The fact that the writer used a benefits v. drawbacks response rather than positive V. negative shows a further misunderstanding of the topic and discussion requirements.

The student lacks the proper English vocabulary know how to use certain words in the proper way:

dripple - no such word in The UK, USA, Australian, and Canadian English language

ripple - vert; any similar move or appearance.

The writer is free to make-up information in relation to the topic, but is not free to make up English words since there is vocabulary scoring involved in this test.

Writing Feedback / Nowadays, children are less reading as well as children in the past. Why is this? [2]

I will assume that the essay is for an English writing exercise since there is no prompt provided. It will be reviewed on that basis.

The immediate error I noticed relates to presentation formatting. The essay does not follow the presentation guidelines based on one topic per paragraph. A paragraph is composed of 3-5 sentences that clearly discuss a topic sentence. This presentation is a little explained compression of discussion points. It makes the presentation hard to read and difficult to follow. Consider using the paragraph with topic sentence next time.

The winter has a beginners grasp of the English language in relation to sentence formation. Increased word building exercises and sentence structure lessons should help improve his written language abilities.

Writing Feedback / People are being encouraged to use wind energy, solar energy and other renewable energy sources [3]

The prompt restatement of the writer is not true to the original topic. Too much additional data that was not part of the original was included. The topic for discussion and its basis was totally replaced. The question response of the writer was not based on a positive or negative response. The writer failed to address the task requirements based on provided points. This proves a severe lack of English comprehension skills. The writer was unable to present a response statement aligned with the original presentation. The writer has already failed the first half of the test.

The reasoning paragraphs continue to show that the essay does not provide even an iota of relationship with the discussion choices. There is no single defense provided for a singular opinion. Therefore, there is no choice left but to apply a failing score to the essay.

Writing Feedback / In Internet, we dont lose contact with others, regardless of location and distance that separate us [2]

This is a one- sided opinion essay. The writeris opinion statement is singular in nature. There is no instruction to compare and contrast. Rather, the writer is being asked to present 2 reasoning paragraphs, based on 2 supporting reasons to show the strength of his opinion. The writer has responded using a partially correct format.

Based on the reasoning paragraphs, only one supports the reasoning opinion of the writer. Therefore only the following paragraphs will recieve full scoring possibilities:

- Restatement + Opinion
- Reasoning paragraph # 2

The concluding summary proved to be a new topic statement rather than a discussion wrap-up so it will not recieve points. The essay will fail since there is no information summary presented as a conclusion.

Research Papers / The Effects of Physical Activity on Mental Health in Adolescents [2]

The first paragraph needs to clarify where the civil unrest in taking place and how that relates to mental health. It would be easier to present the overall paper if the student focuses on one of the two topics. It may be difficult to consolidate the discussion into a uniform presentation.

I believe the writer meant to use the term "increased sedentary behavior and not "decreased sedentary behavior" . That phrase does not make sense in the sentence presentation. That section should be reviewed for accuracy and appropriateness in relation to the theme of the paragraph.

The paper is research heavy but lacking in effective and verified results. The results of studies are presented but without proper survey or test results /imaging to prove the claims. Actual interviews with parents and teens suffering from pandemic related mental health issues would have made the paper more authoritative in terms of research results.

* Limited review provided. Contact me privately for a comprehensive review.

Writing Feedback / SHOULD ALL WILD ANIMAL BE PROTECTED OR ONLY SOME [4]

In the paraphrase, the word" While" is used incorrectly.


In the first instance, the reason is missing from the presentation. A period should have divided the presentation rather than a comma since the ideas presented are different and not a continuing and related presentation.

The discussion uses a general reference which does not offer the correct presentation format. The implication of the discussion is based on the writers opinion rather than the public opinion plus personal opinion type. The discussion is unclear in reference to the opinion voice. From the looks of it, pronoun usage would have helped with that. This presentation does not clearly say who is speaking in the paragraphs. The points of view are muddled.

Writing Feedback / Fewer and fewer young people are choosing to become teachers. How could this be changed? [4]

The opening paraphrase is accurate in providing a topic interpretation. However, the writer provides a non- response to the 2 direct questions. This lack of direct response will not allow the examiner to fully assess the English comprehension skills of the writer in relation to his understanding of the questions. By not providing any responses, the writer cannot fully prove his English thinking abilities. He must completely develop his response statement next time. Do not just repeat the discussion instructions.

The reasoning paragraph presents enough reasons for the lack of interest, but the supporting statement itself is weak. The reasons are not fully developed. Each reason barely has an acceptable explanation. The transition words used are not proper either. A transition sentence or phrase for 2 related topics would have been better. The C + C score will be problematic. Less reasons, more development is required.


Tax-free what? What is the subject? The writer obviously did not draft the essay before writing.


The writer is assuming there are numerous graduates. The premise is that graduation rates are low hence the lack of occupation popularity.

Scholarship / KGSP Personal Statement - Graduate Program - Applied Linguistics [2]

The total presentation is highly verbose and yet, contains improperly structured sentences and paragraphs. The presentation needs to be professionally edited and corrected for the most part to get it back on track in terms of prompt requirements. The writer blurred the actual information presentation due to his concentration on providing a language (non) proficiency in relation to his chosen graduate course. The reviewer will not be impressed at all with a linguistic studies applicant who display less than proficient language skills in his application essay, regardless of his academic grades. It is important that the with edit and revise the essay for clarity and an almost EL writing approach to convince the reviewer he is a true linguist.

Writing Feedback / Sponsorship in sport brings some adverse effects although it has also some positive impacts [2]

The prompt restatement is incomplete as it does not offer a glimpse into the 2 public points of view prior to the personal opinion. The presentation also alters the original topic by asserting a particular truth when the previous presentation does not make such a claim. The presentation paragraph does not lend itself to an accurate representation of the original. It is only partially scorable clue to presentation inaccuracies.

The writer misunderstood the personal opinion requirement. The best approach would be the public opinion explanation followed by the writer's support or non-support explanation. It offers the writer a chance to use a comparative + personal opinion format at maximum scoring capacity. The format ?

Sentence 1: Public opinion
Sentence 2: Reason for public support
Sentence 3: Writer's point of view
Sentence 4: Explanation
Sentence 5: Example /transition sentence (optional)

The writer needs to use a uniform discussion presentation as acceptable to the writing prompt. The above format is the most accurate way to meet scoring and writing requirements. The one that the writer currently uses is not fully discussion format accurate, making the discussion appear incomplete in terms of paragraph requirements.

Writing Feedback / IELTS WRITING TASK 2:Online shopping is increasing dramatically. How could this trend affect our... [4]

When there is no opinion validity question in the original prompt, the writer should refrain from offering such commentaries in the prompt restatement. Doing so means the paraphrase is no longer true to the original since an additional topic, not found in the original theme was presented. It reduces the interpretation accuracy. Additionally, specific responses in the form of topic outlines must be provided as direct responses. That is because the introduction paragraph lays the discussion foundation based on the task provided. The writer does not represent any of there in its opening paragraph.

The reasoning paragraphs are developed in a coherent manner. The transition to the next related topic is also well-done. The writer makes good and proper use of transition words. Although, transition sentences receive better scoring considerations. The discussion is going to be well recieved by the examiner. While the problems of the first paragraph will produce deductions, the essay is still a strong contender for a passing score.

Scholarship / Commonwealth split site scholarship developmental impact 2021 [2]

Revise the paragraph presentations. The current 2nd paragraph has a far more interesting hook than the existing first paragraph. The questions need not be addressed in the order provided by the prompt. Just be sure that all queries are addressed in your presentation. Try to avoid quoting information from other sources that need to be cited in the discussion. That sort of presentation removes the personal interest aspect of the issue. Rather, improve the theme and inter relationships by addressing how various international, national, and local programs integrate to meet the purpose requirements or considerations of your application. Widen your sector based on any national , programs that Andice has at the moment. Consider international collaborations that could tie into your plans.

Scholarship / LANGUAGE STUDY PLAN FOR GKS-U (3 PAGES) [3]

The reviewer will appreciate the self-study and perseverance in the presentation. The problem, is that he will also expect the student to have undertaken some sort of formal Hangul education prior to arrival. Either formal class attendance or online classes will be acceptable.

While taking the TOPIK test in advance of your arrival is preferred, a formal language proficiency certification of any sort will still help add to the strength of the language plan. The tangible evidence helps the reviewer get a better idea of what Hangul or English language level you hope to achieve prior to your arrival in Korea. A Coursera certification might be acceptable for Hangul. Majority of the applicants will have a verifiable language proficiency level prior to arrival.

It is also important that the applicant take the IELTS test prior to applying for the scholarship. The score recieved in the test will be considered in lieu of the TOPIK test. Preference may be given to students with language test results (TOEFL, TOEIC, IELTS) of a certain high scoring level. That is why the language certification is important to the application.

Writing Feedback / Many historical objects lost after wars now are preserved in other countries [2]

When creating a prompt restatement, the writer must refrain from making up information due to the reinterpretation accuracy requirements. That means the reference to war and invaders should not be included. Yes, information can be imagined and included in the presentation. It just cannot be done in the first paragraph were language interpretation, word usage, and information accuracy are scored. save the imaginative topic explanation for the reasoning paragraphs. As for the opinion of the writer, it lacks a depth of response as indicated (strongly, fully, partially or any emotional reference) so it is only a partially scorable opinion presentation.

Both reasoning paragraphs are well thought out, strongly explained, properly supported by examples, and well developed. There is a continuing cohesiveness and coherence to the overall presentation. There was a slight bump in the road though. The writer has a sentence formation problem in:


For better clarity, it could have been presented as:

Therefore, the countries that own the artifacts will be grateful to the holding countries for having preserved the relics.

Writing Feedback / Task 1: the table shows the percentage of main types of dwelling in three areas [2]

The number of words that ended up in this essay will need 40 minutes, rather than 20 minutes to write. This report should be completed using no more than 150-200 words. Any more than that and the writer will run out of time allowance for the task 2 completion.

The summary overview can use more information such as the 3 territories listed. More care should also be taken when typing the response. There was a word capitalization error in the presentation that went uncorrected.

Refrain from using any words that seem to show a personal opinion (obviously, apparently) or exaggeration ( remarkable increase) as the report must remain subjective and neutral in presentation at all times. Academic tone of writing must remain consistent throughout the analysis presentation.

The writer was keen to show off his analytical writing skills. He was prevented from doing so by his lack of word formation abilities in his sentences. These confusing sentences made it difficult to understand his paragraphs. Further language building and sentence development exercises should help the writer correct these problems.

Writing Feedback / The negative impacts on people' health if they do less physical activity than use electronic devices [3]

About 50% of the restatement retains the use of the original keywords.This will be a scoring problem because the writer will be seen as not having an extensive English vocabulary. The failure to use synonyms will affect 2 major scoring sections in relation to task response and vocabulary. The writer can only write in memorized phrases at that point. The other scoring element, the opinion, was well responded to by the writer though. It was a good save, but will not prevent scoring deductions for this section.

The paragraph that supports the provided discussion does not need a justification anymore. It is a given and accepted fact. It is the partial opposition that needed 2 supporting paragraphs. That said, the relevant paragraph is not well presented. It is weak on health related explanations. Reasons provided lacked a believable health connection, which was the whole point of the debate.

Writing Feedback / What are the advantages and disadvantages of advertising sports-related products by sports players? [3]

The wasoning paragraphs are over-presented butunder-developed The over presentation stems from the multiple topic presentations per paragraph. One would think that presenting 2 reasons per paragraph would create a long and well discussed, fantastic scoring essay. This is an incorrect belief because the writer begins to focus on word count rather than quality scoring considerations.

When the writer was speaking of product endorsements, he managed to explain himself quite well. Then, he suddenly brought up the topic of athlete's endorsing medical products as if they are doctors. The new discussion focus did not use an effective and relevant transition. Then the next paragraph went on to discuss unrelated disadvantages. The examiner looks for a connection between paragraphs when this format is used. To make things worse for the final scoll, the writer altered the discussion instructions by offering a personal opinion and solutions where is was not required. Leaving the essay without a proper conclusion.

For a more effective A / D presentation, use the following format:

Sentence 1: Topic sentence
Sentence 2: Advantage
Sentence 3: Transition
Sentence 4: Disadvantage
Sentence 5: Transition to next paragraph

Always remember, Every advantage may be seen as a disadvantage. That is the comparison basis / format for this essay discussion.

Writing Feedback / IELTS - it is argued that educating hometown literature is more vital than that of other nations [3]

The writer did not do a very good job of interpreting the original prompt. A personal opinion launched the restatement in a manner unrelated to the original topic. Then, a somewhat confusing topic restatement followed, ending with a response unrelated to the qquestion provided. In effect, the writer failed to deliver the introduction paragraph in a manner that would have been beneficial to the task scoring.

When the writer is asked if he agrees or disagrees, the response must directly provide a keyword based answer. They cue words are, " agree or disagree". choose only from the provided response choices. Do not alter the presentation response. Do not write a comparative essay when it is not directly instructed as "discuss both views" in the writing instruction. The incorrect response paragraphs and lack of related opinion presentation are what may cause a failing score for the essay. That is regardless of the other scoring considerations, which will also have score deductions that will affect the final overall score.

Writing Feedback / Households with electrical appliances in one country and the length of time doing chore per week [4]

While the task only has a minimum word requirement, it is important that the writer keep the time limit in mind while writing. Since there is a 20 minute time limit, the marinem allowable word count is 200 words. The task 1 essay works on clear reporting and analysis interpretation. The writer needs to keep the report short and clear. Every paragraph needs to have between 3-5 sentences. Every sentence should be composed of 20-40 words only.

When clearly and properly analyzed within requirements, the essay will accomplish far more in terms of earning the writer an overall high score. The writer does not have too much of a problem with analysis. The problem is in the presentation. Do not rely on the use of word fillers and flowery descriptions. These tend to blur the presentation by over - extending an otherwise simple and direct analysis.

Scholarship / Development essay for the next commonwealth scholarship window 2022-2023 [3]

There is no sense in writing this essay in advance of the september application. You cannotget an early start because application requirements and essay prompts may be altered due to the current pandemic. Certain scholarships change discussion requirements and at this point, my sources have not made any mention of changes yet. While I can offer comments on this essay, those will not be set in stone as it will be subject to change based on scholarship application changes and /or adjustments. Do not start on any changes until you have confirmed a non-change in application guidelines.

There is no clear theme in the presentation. It appears that the reference to health in general will not work as human trafficking affects2 direct health aspects, mental and physical. The research should clearly address one of these themes. Build a clearer research program, and implementation presentation on a specific aspect of mental or physical health. Focus on your country only. How does the national program affect your application, research, and future program plans? Why do you want to work with a research associate rather than the government?

The essay is scattered at the moment. It needs to find a clearer theme for implementation. Work on your implementation time line. You need to work on a schedule and specify how it works. What do you do in the first yeah? How will the quarterly implementation be?

Writing Feedback / Discovering isolated natural places is nothing impossible for millions of scientists and tourists [2]

The prompt restatement and opinion response is well-developed. It makes the reader believe that the will will present an insightful discussion based on the presentation expectations. The writer actually delivers as expected in the next paragraph. The advantages discussion covered both groups as required. Sadly, this excellence did not carry through to the next paragraph. It was an alteration of the discussion instruction as provided. The writer should not have created a supporting paragraph that opposed the originally provided opinion. This is , afterall, a single opinion presentation.

To create a strong A/D discussion, the writer should present a strong advantage paragraph based on an actual advantage. After that a debunking of a disadvantage as an actual advantage, and presented that way in a new paragraph , will show the analytical opinion of the writer , that falls within the response format requirement. This will ensure a TA compliant essay based on C + C considerations.

* Contact me privately for scoring services.

Writing Feedback / Paragraph 1: The advantages and disadvantages of children using technologies for leisure [2]

The discussion topic is clearly a single opinion essay as it asks a single opinion response question: "Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages? " The response requirement does not allow for a comparative response or a response that says both sides have valid points (always have positives and negatives.). It shows that the writer did not know how to properly respond to the question. There is no clear opinion provided based on the instructions and choices provided. The presented answer is not related to the task.

The response presented here is not appropriate for the discussion as it does not state a negative as a positive or vice - versa, which is the expected response format. The essay has presented a non-response to the question. It does not apply to the prompt requirements.

Writing Feedback / IELTS 1 - Bar chart: Various subjects in university which were selected by undergraduates in 2005 [3]

The essay is strong when seen from a data delivery point of new. The information is truly direct to the point and informative. Half the task requirement was addressed in the presentation. This is why the report is also too short in word presentation. 154 words meets the minimum word count requirement to avoid word count deductions. It does not help the writer meet the actual scoring considerations for the rubic though. Consider the scoring criteria for each section and the lack of scoring representation will be seen.

A task 1 essay of full scoring consideration must be completely developed within 175-200 words. This allows the writer to fully depict an analepis of the data, with more intricate comparisons and sentence formations present for a maximum scoring opportunity. This essay limits the possible final score due to its short and less than critical analysis presentation.

Writing Feedback / IELTS Writing Task 1 - Line chart about senior citizens aged 65 and above in three countries [3]

The writer has over compressed the summary information. The lengthy, mixed ideas presentation has caused a run-on sentence error. For this test, one idea /subject per sentence will bring clarity and a simple to follow discussion to the reader. The same cannot be said for the current GRA score reducing presentation. A complete paragraph needs at least 3 sentences in the summary. Additionally, the trending statement should be integrated into the summary presentation. The 3 paragraph essay is comprised of :

Paragraph 1: Summary + trending statement
Paragraph 2: Initial Image analysis
Paragraph 3: Final image analysis

The report is incompletely developed. It does not have the proper format and is not evaluated in the expected manner.

Writing Feedback / IELTS Writing Task 2 about how to obtain cross-cultural understanding [3]

The writer has totally changed the central discussion topic by changing the topic and reasoning points in the restatement. As for the discussion response, the writer neglected to meet the discussion requirements as well. The writer did not deliver the response in the required format. In fact, the with wrote a response that created a totally different opinion response. The essay is not writing task accurate at this point. Earning a failing score in terms of English comprehension skills.

The question to be responded to is :

Q : To what extent do you agree or disagree?
R : ... educational benefit of travelling is simply irreplaceable.

The writer offers a response basis but does not offer a question response first. The response is inaccurate due to the incomplete response presentation. A clear opinion, based on the response format must always come before the opinion reason.

Being a single point of view discussion, the writer must avoid giving a valid reason for the opposing point. An opposing discussion can only be used as a topic sentence. The writer should show why the opposing reason is invalid based on his opinion. The writer did that once, rather than twice in this discussion. Present a debate, not a supporting reason.

The lack of an actual response / opinion will score down this essay. There is an implied opinion in the third paragraph, but it will not be enough to help this essay gainer a passing score due to other word usage and GRA problems in the presentation..

Writing Feedback / Puting students into mixed-ability classes or sorting them based on their academic intelligence [3]

When asked to discuss both points of view , the writer is expected to explain the logic of the belief based on a public line of reasoning. By explaining why a group of people support an opinion in individual analytical paragraphs, the analytical reason behind the writer's opinion becomes evident to the reader. The discussion format should have been based on a comparison format.

The writer has not actually delivered on the prompt requirements as explained above. The presentation actually strays from the discussion topic because of the lack of public opinion explanations. The total essay reflects only the writer's opinion, of each side.

Long as the essay is, when it does not follow the formatting requirements (5 paragraphs) , and does not provide the expected discussion presentation , the essay will suffer severe scoring setbacks.

Writing Feedback / In the future all cars, buses and trucks will be driverless. Advantages outweigh the disadvantages? [2]

The first sentence of the prompt restatement is an unnecessary presentation. It does not relate to the original topic and actually prompted a discussion topic change. The next discussion sentence saved the day though and brought the topic back on track. But the opinion response does not meet the response guidelines. Consider the following:

O Q: DO YOU THINK ADVANTAGES OF DRIVERLESS VEHICLES OUTWEIGH THE DISADVANTAGES?
Response: ... such trend, though detrimental to a certain extent, could be considered as a major step forward.

There is a discussion alteration in the response. It does not clearly indicate an answer in the required format. Does this mean the total response is incorrect? No. The second reasoning paragraph was related to the prompt.

The writer offered 2 reasons in that statement that deals with the advantages of driverless cars. Had this discussion been spread out over 2 paragraphs, the essay may have had a better scoring potential. In the current format, the essay is at the low end of the scoring scale.

Writing Feedback / Some teachers think that international student exchange would be beneficial for all young students [2]

The essay has partially good and definitely bad points.

Partially Good:
The writer shows a good understanding of the topic. He offered a good opinion that relates to the discussion requirement. There is a slight problem in the presentation format though. The first sentence is relatively problem free. The second sentence though, presented 2 ideas, which are not related in discussion basis in one sentence. It is a confusing run-on sentence that removes from the cohesive and coherent restatement + personal opinion presentation paragraph.

Definitely Bad:
The student has decided to use a comparative paragraph that offers justifications for both sides. This type of presentation does not succeed in explaining the writer's single point of view as originally stated because of the now divided opinion presentation. The essay now presents a clouded opinion which does not support the writers opinion in a fully understandable manner. The discussion manner is inappropriate. The presentation is only half correct and will benefit only from half scoring considerations.

Writing Feedback / IELTS WRITING TASK 2. discuss about the increasing products consumption. [3]

The writer did not offer an accurate prompt restatement. His presentation is of a general reference while the original subject was based on the premise that "... some countries encourage people to buy more and more products". The focus being on countries. The student instead wrote, "increasing products consumption is a bad thing for society." The discussion target was altered in the paraphrase. The student used a selective prompt restatement rather than an accurate and complete restatement that includes both public opinions + a personal opinion.

The response format does not follow the " discuss both points of view " in the correct public opinion discussion manner prior to the personal statement. The essay does not meet the response considerations as outlined in the discussion instruction. The writer should learn how to look for the reasoning paragraph number and format within the last half of the original prompt presentation.