Writing Feedback / The graph shows the impact of vaccinations on the incidence of whooping cough, a childhood illness [3]

Due to the lack of image, I cannot accurately say that the summary overview is correctly presented. I cannot be sure that the information provided is correct either. The essay is lacking a proper trending statement.That should be located at the end of the summary overview as that is a summary of the measurement trend. A trending sentence does not include actual measurement values.

Regardless of how one looks at the presentation, a proper additional paragraph is missing. Based on the provided data, it appears that should be a 4 paragraph presentation. Perhaps the student did not properly getup the measurements for the report. The sentence starting with


indicates a new topic discussion and should have been formatted as a new paragraph. Yes, that is where the missing 4th paragraph went.

Writing Feedback / The table compares the data on the area of forests measured in hectares of various world places [5]

The summary should indicate the number of continents listed. It would be better if only a single trend is mentioned based on the years indicated. If 3 continents are mentioned in that section, then the last 3 must be mentioned to complete the summary listing.

The first sentence of the second paragraph does not indicate an understandable meaning. This confusing sentence will pose significant c + C and GRA deductions for the exam taker as if leaves the reader confused with regards to the sentence meaning.

The essay does not reflect a complete analysis as the 2 reporting paragraphs covers only 3 of the 6 indicated continents. This paper is only partially complete in teems of data analysis and presentation.

Writing Feedback / The average percentages in typical meals of three types of nutrients, all of which may be unhealthy [2]

The writer is confusing the reader. Charts are different from diagrams. His summary is inaccurate when compared to the original presentation.Failure to simply complete a summary report based on the unspecified number of images means the writer will not complete this report within 20 minutes.

The writer also failed to identify reference errors (United Statute of America V. United STATES of America). The writer should focus on quickly offering image information with a controlled number of words, no more than 200. There needs to be immediate clarity in the information.

There is too much parenthesis usage in the essay, which led to an exaggerated amount of word usage. While variety in the presentation scores well, it needs to be balanced. Do not overuse a single format as that could lead to other presentation problems and eorors.

* Limited review due to lack of image

Writing Feedback / The proportion of people's expenditure on six different goods and services in a European country [2]

The writer must always indicate the number of images whenever more than 1 image is provided, The images must be identified seperately in the summary and provided with individual summary information. That is because the images offer seperate information which are later collated in the report paragraphs. The weakest aspect of this report is the summary overview. The confusing summary overview of the images caused this problem.

The writer should learn to use terms that indicate comparisons between the years indicated. Rather than saying, "Then 50 years later ..." , it would be more writing and task appropriate to indicate " In comparison, there was a... 50 years later." The writer must keep in mind the audience of the report and use task /language appropriate references.

Writing Feedback / IELTS writing task 1: world production / manufacturing [2]

The writer has written 223 words. Well over the minimum 150 word requirement, but not possible within the 20 minute time allotment. If the proper analysis, drafting, and final writing review is applied, the writer should not write more than 200 words. The essay is a good practice in English writing and vocabulary building but, that target created an essay that does not deliver in terms of cohesiveness and coherence which collectively, are the 2nd most important scoring considerations.

A certain paragraph does not have a clear topic sentences kicking it off, preventing a clear topic focus in the paragraph. The task 1 essay is not an opinion essay but a reporting presentation. The wordiness of the essay is the cause of the essay's weak presentation. Direct reporting of information is score friendly as it keeps the report on track and informative in the correct way.


- What period ?This is missing a topic sentence. This is a less informative presentation due to incorrectly positioned data presentation.


- This is a clearer and more data focused presentation.

Writing Feedback / People should learn to take the responsibility for themselves and the community when they are young [3]

The writer did not respond to the discussion question regarding the extent of his dis/ agreement with the given statement. The discussion was instead changed to an advantage/ disadvantage discussion. The essay will get a failing TA score as the response is not related to the discussion instruction. The simple agreement posted in the ill developed conclusion is not going to receive a score because, even though it offers an agreement, it is not provided in the correct paragraph and format at the start of the essay. The actual measured response belongs in the introduction. The writer can expect to recieve a failing score due to the incorrect discussion format.

An extent essay can never be paired with an A/D presentation as those are 2 seperate and different discussion styles. The lack of prompt writing familiarity and English comprehension skills are evident on the part of the writer. The writer is advised to familiarize himself with the varied task 2 question and response styles before proceeding with any practice tests.

Writing Feedback / IELTS writing task 2: The detrimental consequences caused by foreign tourists [2]

I am unsure as to whether you are on topic with this topic or not due to the missing prompt statement. There are several prompts in relation to international tourism. That is why it is important that the original topic and writing instructions be included with the response essay post. There is no available prompt that refers to a pandemic discussion. It is more than likely that the writer misrepresented the original discussion by creating a totally different topic. Which would limit the TA score due to an inaccurate restatement. If I am right, then there is a likelihood the discussion responses may be incorrect as well. Again, the lack of proper topic presentation and writing guidelines limit the assessment I can provide for this essay.

Graduate / Critique my statement of purpose for masters in quantum engineering [2]

Without knowing if there are specific writing requirements for this SOP, I would have to say that this type of presentation does not present proper and related information. A statement of purpose responds to certain specific questions:

- What is your career motivation?
- How does your last 2 years of work experience lend relevance to your PHD interests?
- What publications do you have? What are the publications and publication dates?How does your experience writing there articles lend to the strength of your PhD related abilities?

- Have you made your mark in the industry as a masters graduate? How? (Conferences and seminars attended)Why are these accomplishments key to Ph D career?

- Awards and recognition
- Connection between masters course, work experience, and the current course based on future career plans.
- Why this university? Whose mentorship are you interested in? Why? How are your interests relevant to the professor's current research?

The current presentation mixes the personal statement with the statement of purpose. It is a confusing presentation that is nothing more than an outline of possible topics for inclusion in the SOP. The writer must use the SOP to deliver a clear career path from past, to present, to future. The purpose should end with more than just completed research. Indicate a relevance and application for it that would make it a notable PhD paper in Quantum computing.

Writing Feedback / IELTS Writing Task 1: Bar Chart Owned and Rented Households [3]

The presentation is acceptable, with somewhat clear discussions. The essay delivers on almost all the required data presentation. However, the paragraph presentations rely mostly on long sentence presentations seperated by commas.

Known as run-on sentences, students tend to confuse the format with that of a complex sentence. These run-on sentences are actually improper grammar presentations. The lack of varied punctuation usage to increase the degree of thought clarity and topic seperation, along with a single data reporting style limits the ability of the writer to actually show his skills when it comes to information presentation.

Varying the sentence presentations to reflect proper simple and complex sentence presentations would help limit the G R A shortcomings of the essay. Better paragraph development, by increasing the sentence count to 3 or 4 per paragraph would help accomplish that.

Writing Feedback / Task 1-The graph shows children by age group as a percentage of the young population in the UK [3]

The essay should not be longer than 175 - 200 words. The writer is risking not being able to complete the report in 20 minutes. Time allotment should be as follows:

5 minutes - image assessment
10 minutes - report drafting
5 minutes - editing, proofreading, and finalizing

Not all 20 minutes should be devoted to writing alone.

The essay is too wordy and needs to focus on direct data presentation instead. The more concise , the better. The writer shows limited grammar skill as he is unable the use other punctuation marks aside from the commas and periods. Use of semi-colons, parenthesis, and other appropriate punctuation marks would have made the essay more informative with lesser word usage.

Undergraduate / Winning a Competition and Getting Involved in Organizations; NUS Achievements Personal Statement [3]

The writer must never indicate unsuccessful competition and school government participation, specially if it is not related to the chosen major. The student must instead focus on his successful accomplishments with a clear explanation of how there activities further solidified his interest and provided a foundation for the course. These are not represented at all in these paragraphs. The requirement is not merely for accomplishments, but related accomplishments. Clearly connecting the two is a must for this essay. The essay provides general character information rather than course specific interest. These are the reasons why the essay does not meet the prompt requirements. The removal of irrelevant accomplishmento and non accomplishments will allow more characters to be used for required discussion paragraphs.

Writing Feedback / Ielts writing task 2 - Essay about the advantage of children when they learning English [3]

The essay is highly verbose at 333 words. Such a word count cannot be completed within 40 minutes. The writer is focusing on over extending the essay, without considering the need for a quick response and explanation, fully and properly written within 40 minutes in proper English. This problem is evident in the first paragraph where a personal opinion, unrelated to the task was first introduced, but no proper topic references in relation to the opinion of the writer was provided. This delivered an incomplete . response as it relates to the discussion paragraphs.

The discussion paragraphs do not correctly defend the writers opinion as it does not use the primary and secondary conditions provided in the original prompt properly. The writer is focusing on specific countries in relation to the discussion where a general country reference is required. There are irrelevant references made to cartoon shows and idiagrams. By the end of the essay, the writer had gotten so far off base with the discussion that it can only get a failing score in the end.

Graduate / Study plan for a new career path and study optician program in Canada [2]

The essay shows that the applicant hasa keen interest in studying in canada but does not show a strong motivation to go back home after the course is completed. The tits to the home country are weak, specially with regard to the senior aged parents of the applicant. The applicant does not fully explain how the career change will relate to the industry his is working in at the moment. There is no explanation as to who will be responsible for the student in Canada (tuition, board, spending allowance to name a few). A familiarity with the student work hours should be shown in the letter. There is no real career that the applicant will be returning to in his home country. A clear career plan upon returning home is needed. A localized career plan is not enough. It must tie in with the original career somehow to show a change in career path relevant to the original occupation. There is no sense of urgency in the letter that would warrant studying in Canada.There is no evidence that the universities in the applicant's home country cannot accomodate the educational needs of the student. A reference to the age of the applicant should be explained as this will be a secondary degree for him. The applicant maybe over- aged for the visa type he is applying for.

Writing Feedback / The chart below shows the value of one country's exports in various categories during 2015 and 2016. [2]

Complete the summary overview by listing the 5 categories and measurement type. As these are shared listings between the images, do not forget to mention it as such. The proper inclusion of these information will help add to the informative nature of the summary overview.

This is a 2 image essay so the presentation should not be more than 4 paragraphs. The writer cannot have a 5th paragraph representation of a single sentence. That should be integrated into one of the data analysis paragraphs instead.

The reporting paragraphs need to start with an identification of the image title. That is because, even though the comparison basis topics are shored, the percentage information presented in each in measurement topic specific. The information presented lacks clarity and leaves the reader severely confused, leading to a possibly failing C + C score,which can result in an overall failing score when added to other deduction considerations.

Writing Feedback / IELTS 2: Both views and your opinion about if holding events are beneficial to countries development [2]

Discuss both views and give an opinion. That is the instruction provided for writing this essay. While the writer presented both public opinions in imperfect, but understandable English. The discussion basis provided is a deviation from the original. The writer decided to simply "discuss both schools of thought " rather than discuss both public opinions and then present a personal note.The essay is now based on the writer's take on the points of viecar instead of the public opinion third person pronoun comparative discussions, based on the provided opinion, prior to the personal analysis.

The personal opinion cannot receive a proper score as it was integrated into what should have been the concluding summary. Itis not considered a part of that paragraph as the personal insight needs to be fully explained in a properly developed 3rd paragraph. The conclusion should only repeat the salient discussion points.

The English grammar and sentence writing needs more work. The student should learn to properly use English words as the lerical reference in this essay shows obvious dictionary use aimed at scoring high in the LR section. The problem is, not all the words chosen for use suit the sentence presentation. The writer neck to become familiar with more everyday English words so he can write more natural sounding discussion essays.

Writing Feedback / People living in large cities are suffering many issues every day. What kind of issues? [3]

The essay is more than likely to fail as it is only composed of 201 words rather than the required 250+ word count. That is the first problem with the essay. The thesis statement responds to only the second question. The first question response requirement was completely ignored. So the task accuracy requirement based on the paraphrase + question response is lacking. The TA score is facing 2 deductions immediately. Both of which will be difficult to overcome as the reasoning paragraphs are too short to be considered properly developed explanations.

While there are 2 valid discussion points in each paragraph, the uniter does not go beyond a simple statement. There is a lack of convincing explanation based on clearly connected topics and explanations. The writer cannot expect a passing score in that section either. The total presentation is too weak to be considered for a passing score.

Writing Feedback / 500+ Words Essay on Same Sex Marriage and the rights and freedom of LGBTQIA community. [2]

The title of the essay is incorrect. It should be replaced with a title that focuses on the actual discussion which is same sex marriage. The introduction is a credible thesis statement in relation to the R O C law that was passed. The paragraph should also be edited to divide it into 2 paragraphs. One thesis statement and an opening discussion paragraph that kicks off the discussion proper. The essay is difficult to follow in this current format.

The discussion of the same sex marriage struggle lacks supporting and duly cited information. While the author is clearly writing from the heart, the supporting text with evidence is needed to truly convince the reader.

The essay deals with a provocative and controversial topic. Luckily , the writer was able to avoid that format in this presentation. It follows an otherwise logical and acceptably discussed topic.

Writing Feedback / The issue whether academic success and emotional development are affected by teachers or classmates [3]

This is a pretty good response essay. It meets all of the discussion requirements and is developed enough to be considered cohesive and competent in explanation. The reference to surveys and research / studies is general enough to pass at non- researched data since no numbers were mentioned. I have to point out though that these types of essays gain better scores when the writer uses personal experience sequences. That point of view is the most and highly scored example because it shows the writer's convincing analogy based on personal knowledge. Sometimes the writer must learn to identify which example will best suit the essay. The personal experience works best for most Task 2 discussions.

Writing Feedback / Social networking sites have enormously detrimental effects on people and the whole community [2]

This essay asks "to what extent do you agree or disagree?" That means only one opinion in relation to the question will be accepted by the examiner. The writer cannot agree with both opinions. As the TA score is partially based on the clarity of the writer's opinion, this essay will receive a failing score automatically due to the writer stating support for both, when there is clearly a single opinion requirement.

There is true uncertainty presented on the side of the writer that will guarantee this essay will fail. The discussion format is incorrect as it does not use the single opinion format as required. This was never implied as being a comparative opinion presentation. Not a single paragraph can receive even a partial scoring based on the proper (prompt relevant) opinion of the writer because he failed to provide one at the start and throughout the essay. The essay failed because the writer misunderstood the discussion instructions.

Scholarship / Application Essay for United World College (2022-2024) - personal statement [2]

The writer has not responded to the prompt at all. The information provided is only cut and paste information about the university as found on its website. The writer does not explain a personal connection to the university based on the mission and objectives of the U W C for its students. The essay is trashable and not worth editing. It was not worth posting for review here because the student did not even try to go beyond cut and paste efforts as seen by the incorrect usage of capital letters which were originally used as banner information on the website, and punctuation errors. This essay will only improve if the student actually tries to apply himself to the essay by focusing on the personal connection aspect as required.

Writing Feedback / The line graph describes the proportion of the population who used the internet in three countries [2]

The writer needs to consult a world globe or map of the world. He misinformed the reader by saying that the line graph is composed of


. America is a seperate and sovereign country. Canada and Mexico are seperate countries as well. The TA section is affected by this misinformation. The ten-year period should be numerically indicated as well from the start to end year (e.g. 1999 to 2009).

It is strange that the writer referred to "other countries " in the second paragraph when he mistakenly referred to the same as " three countries" of America in the first paragraph. The writer ofviously failed to proofread his work prior to considering it completed. The information presentation meets the word requirement and provides an acceptable comparison presentation. It is the confusion about the B rations that presented a problem for the most part.

Undergraduate / Critical Thinking is the key to success [3]

The summary paragraph is mostly a retyping of the original text. It fails to show an analytical summary in relation to a critical analysis of the situation. The response of the person assuming the role of Monica shows a lack of understanding of the situation, an assessment of the pros and cons that critical thinking is based on, and a critical review of the possible solutions. The writer was lazy alright and deserves the failing score the will get for this exercise. He neither tried to understand the point of the exercise, nor did he even try to emulate the critical thinking guide questions for his own critical thinking version. Writing that he is too "lazy" to do what is expected of him in this exercise makes me wonder why he even bothered to write this. It was not worth the time and obvious lack of effort he put into it. If he cannot be bothered to try due to laziness, then he should not do it at all.

* Contact us privately to inquire about a sample critical thinking paper based on this excercise.

Scholarship / GKS Personal Statement for Environmental Engineering - "dreaming bigger" [6]

Like I have told all of the students who post a GKS personal statement for review, it is too soon to be writing it. The revised writing instruction for the personal statement will be out when the application season opens in September. Trying to preempt the personal statement content is never a good idea. The aim of students who insist on doing this is to be the first in line as the applicant from their country. Thus earning them the scholarships slot. That is not the case, if your supporting documents and grades are not at par with the competition from your country, being first in line will do nothing for you.

The strong "woe's me" story makes for a good read but could be considered too much background information. Wait for the new prompts and develop a more appropriate essay at that time. I will still be here to review it. Make sure it all fits on 1 side of an A4 paper format.

Undergraduate / Education from Poverty - PERSONAL STATEMENT FOR GLOBAL KOREA SCHOLARSHIP (GKS), BBA [3]

The formal application season opens in September. The essay prompts for the season will also be released at that time, It is ill advisable to be writing your personal statement based on the previous season's writing requirements as these prompts are subject to change. I hesitate to give correction advice because of this possibility.

Regardless, I would like to point out that your professional ambition is not a part of the personal statement. That is a "goal of study /" topic instead. It may also be better used as a topic for your post study plans response.As a general note, this essay contains a note of personal bitterness which could be detrimental to the application.

It would be better to hold on to this until the new instructions come out. That will also allow you to consider if you will apply via embassy or uni track, to help you write a more competitive essay.

Writing Feedback / My IELTS essay on Environment & Animals in the verge of extinction [2]

The first paragraph will receive a failing TA score because it is using a majority of cut and paste / memorized words and references from the original. There is evidence of little developed English vocabulary in relation to synonym usage in the presentation. 2 sections of scoring are affected: TA and LR.

The use of "on the one hand" and "on the other hand" is out of place in the second paragraph. These are not the proper transition phrases to use. The error shows a lack of proper sentence and paragraph development skill in relation to C + C scoring needs.

In the solutions paragraph, the third proposal is not as equally developed as the first two. This is the reason that will pull down the score for the C + C even further. All examples must be properly explained and developed. 2 solution presentations are always the best way to go when multiple solutioms are required as these allow for cohesive and coherent explanation development.

Essays / Hinduism in Mainstream American culture essay [2]

The topic is too broad and needs to be narrowed down. Consider the available research materials for the paper and narrow the topic down from there. Find a specific Hinduism cultural trait to discress in relation to American mainstream beliefs. Maybe focus on marriage and the dowry system, caste system compared to racial and social classes, or something like those topics. How about the development of Hindu- town in America? Any topic that would show a clear reason why Hinduism would play a role in changing American culture would also work. As you do not have much time to work with me on this topic, I cannot suggest you contact me privately for the paper development.

Writing Feedback / Some people think that governments should ban dangerous sports, while others are not against it [2]

The essay uses a 3 reasoning format presentation. Explain the public opinion based on publicly known reasons. Refer to the group belief based on group pronouns to indicate that the writer is analyzing the validity of the opinion as a part of his personal opinion developement.

The paragraph may start with " I understand that those in support of (opinion) do so because they believe ... " Thus removing the personal opinion reference of the writer, making the paragraph focus on the public discussion. The 3rd paragraph may use personal 1st person references to the personal insight of the writer.

This essay lacks opinion separation as it appears to represent 2 discussion points of the writer rather than 2 public opinions with a personal insight provided. The comparative essay format was not properly used in the presentation. This is should be a 3 comparison points essay discussion.

The writer is improperly using an apostrophe throughout the essay, Further review of proper punctuation usage, overall is needed.

Writing Feedback / IELTS WRITING TASK 2 - Essay about the benefits and drawbacks of shopping online [2]

The second paragraph is misplaced in the discussion. The point of this discussion is to prove that a commonly believed disadvantage is really an advantage. This must be proven twice. One evidence for each paragraph. The format is:

Sentence 1- disadvantage
sentence 2- perception error
Sentence 3- Actual advantage of the disadvantage
Sentence 4 - Example
sentence 5- Additional explanation

The first paragraph will not help the score since it is an unrelated reason. The second reasoning paragraph is relevant but not fully explained. The provided reasons do not work without proper explanation development. It will not recieve a passing TA score. The presentation lacks focused reasoning development because the writer failed to use a proper format for explanation build-up per topic. Had the reasons in the 2nd reasoning paragraph been properly explained as 2 topic paragraphs, this would have been a high scoring essay.

Writing Feedback / Opinions differ as to whether or not mobike phones should be allowed in public places [2]

The writers version of the given topic along with an opinion response should not be more than 2 sentences when no reason for the topic is given. The first sentence in this presentation does not represent any part of the required discussion as it represents an unsolicited opinion. The extent, response is part of the expected format in the first paragraph. It is never placed in the second paragraph since the next 2 paragraphs are used for opinion defense. The paragraph will suffer several deductions due to the indicated mistakes. The good discussion defense basis was wasted due to the response format mistake.

The reasoning paragraph does not justify any unprecedented emergencies, which should have been used as the reasoning defense. The reasoning paragraphs are not properly connected nor justified by the provided reason basis. The response is therefore unacceptable and in error. The opinion specifically states "unprecedented emergencies" of which the reasons presented do not support any.

Writing Feedback / IELTS WRITING TASK 1: The bar chart below shows most popular social networks worldwide as of January [4]

The presentation format is off. The writer must train himself to write in the standard 3 paragraph format composed of 3- 5 sentences each. The paragraphs should be divided into:

Paragraph 1 - Summary overview + trending statement
Paragraph 2 - Comparison explanation
Paragraph 3 - Analysis consideration
Paragraph 4 (optional) - Additional reporting data not suited in the trending statement (overlapping points, equal measurements, etc. ). Usually used when 2 images are being compared and discussed.

This is an academic paper. Popular references like "King of social media" are exaggerated claims used in daily conversation but, not in academic writing. Bear in mind the professional audience who will read the report and use suitable reference terms to create a professional paper.

Writing Feedback / Old-fashioned values, such as honour, kindness and trust, no longer seem important today [2]

Do not offer a personal opinion in the first paragraph (it is a pity...) because the personal opinion should not cloud the original prompt interpretation. That opinion could instead, be merged with the reasoning paragraph or concluding summary. When you offer the disagreement, include the reasons why in tums of discussion outline ( I disagree because the values of kindness, honor, and trust one still visibly valued these days).

The discussion paragraphs have valid points and proper supporting examples. The student may want to build his vocabulary and grammar in terms of noun presentations Harm, for example can be a countable or uncountable noun. Hence the reference word remains the same for both singular and plural forms. It does not form plurals being a plural nominative and singular genitive. These days" harms" mostly refers to the act of harming someone.

The concluding paragraph will benefit from pauses in the presentation. The cuts in thought presentation are too far apart. The presentation needs to see more comma and period usage.

Writing Feedback / The popularity of telecommuting and tele-learning [2]

The restatement + opinion statement is well developed. The response provided is concise which made this an effective opening /introduction paragraph. However, the 2 reasoning paragraphs do not properly support the opinion. This is the part that may cause a failing mark ffor the presentation. The reasoning discussion in support of the opinion should have done the following over 2 paragraphs:

Sentence 1 - Present some information about working from home / learn from home that could not be done without computer technology.
Sentence 2 - Explain how computer tech made it possible
Sentence 3 - Give an example of the positive effect
Sentence 4 - support the sample with an additional explanation
Sentence 5 - Transition to topic 2

Do not merge the discussion points for both topics. That makes the information confusing. Use one highlight for each in a stand alone paragraph.

Writing Feedback / IELTS WRITING: WHY DO SOME PEOPLE WORK HARD? IS IT ALWAYS A GOOD THING TO WORK HARD? [6]

Providing direct topic responses to the provided questions will result in a higher TA score. This is because direct responses, based on topic presentations (not discussions yet) will result in a clearer opinion statement. That is one of the main scoring considerations that needs to be met.

Both paragraphs are responsive to the discussion questions. The evidences are related and create understandable explanations. The writer may want to consider less reasons in favor of 2 reasons only next time.That is to allow better connected explanations and examples to help meet the C + C considerations. While the reasons are good and connected, a clearer explanation and example combining the reasons would have been the best presentation format.

Writing Feedback / Essay about the influence of advertising on purchasing products [2]

This is a single opinion essay based on the question ;" Which side do you agree with?" Based on your I response, you appear to understand the point of the discussion and have an opinion about it. It is just too bad that you failed to deliver a clear topic paraphase. The focus on word usage resulted in words used that did not deliver the original point.

The comparison essay format is not appropriate for a single . paragraph. The writing instruction doesn't inclicate a need to "discuss both points of new" so that should not be done. Instead, 2 discussion reasons, developed over 2 paragraphs should have been provided. As a result, this presentation has only I scurable paragraph in relation to the writer's opinion. It may not be enough to result in a passing score as the supporting reasons are not completely presented.

Writing Feedback / Whether undergraduates should learn whatever they are fond of or just subjects useful in the future. [2]

The essay is over 400 words long. It will not be possible to properly edit and complete an essay of this length within 40 minutes. Practice essays must be written with the help of a countdown timer toensure writing accuracy within a limited time frame. That includes proper - of prompt adherence, editing, and proofreading of the presentation before the time is up. A properly developed explanation of 300 words will be best for scoring requirements.

The essay must consider the public opinion basis of the discussion in 2 seperate paragraphs. The personal opinion is the third consideration. Remember the reference to " some people" and "others" there are reference markers for the discussion format/ requirements. Those are what created the 5 paragraph essay structure. One paragraph ffor each, clearly referenced with alternative point of view pronouns (They, their, I, me) Fully develop each opinion in an easy and quick to read paragraph.

Writing Feedback / Topic: Fast food and taxing it higher [2]

The writer clearly understood the given discussion and offered a clear opinion, ably supported by explanation paragraphs. Both paragraphs represent good discussion points in support of the writer's opinion. There is just a slightpresentation problem in the personal experience reference. The writer neglected to clearly mention his fast food diet, which should not be confused with junk food as there are some healthy fast-food offerings such as pre-made salads and vegetable with meat sandwiches, such as those sold in vending machines or fast food restaurants, and food trucks or hawkers. These are the fastfood references in this essay. To further strengthen the conclusion, a 2-3 sentence setup is needed. Repeat the 2 most important supporting reasons quickly to complete the concluding summary.

* Contact us for private scoring services.

Writing Feedback / Nowadays, we are living in a throw-away society. What are its causes and what are its problems? [2]

There is a lack of discussion outline in response to the questions from the original prompt. The topic presentations are expected to create the basis of the reasoning paragraph discussions. The restatement fails to include a reference to the discussion flow per question, which will be the basis of the TA score, which helps to decide if the essay will pass or fail.

The reasoning paragraphs are clear and connected enough. Although, the grammar structure could be better. Try to avoid referencing "research" in the explanations since these need to be based on personal knowledge / experience, or public knowledge. Research does not fall under that criteria. Since you can make up information, just frame the explanation as based on personal or public aspects.

Writing Feedback / Will society be able to cope with the growing number of elderly people. How can it be managed? [3]

Be aware of the required word count for the Task 2 essay. There must be at least 250 written words presented. Deductions tothe TA score will be applied for under- witten essays. There are only 248 words here. The passage is also started with a lower rather than uppercase letter as required by English grammar rules.

The first half of the prompt is not dealt within this essay. The paragraph that should respond to: "Do you feel that society will be able to cope with the increase in numbers of elderly people today?" was not addressed. There is a whole paragraph response section missing in this presentation. That missing response shall reduce the overall score due to an under-explained at low response essay presentation. Only a partial score will be provided for the response to the second question. Due to the present errors, this essay will not be given a passing consideration.

Writing Feedback / WRITING TASK 1: THE PICTURE BELOW SHOWS HOW TOMATO KETCHUP IS BEING PRODUCED [4]

The essay is guaranteed to receive a failing score since it is only composed of 111 words/ 150 words. The word count problem arose from the improper paragraph formatting. There should be 3 paragraphs presented here at a minimum, 4 paragraphs the most. There is an error in the procedure description. The images comprise 3 stages of an 11 step process, not 11 stages. The procedure is for making tomato ketchup, not ketchup of tomato. The second paragraph was written too quickly. There is no analysis of the steps presented. The drawings indicate a visual meaning that the writer must put into words. The lack of analysis further contributed to the lack of word count.

Letters / Cover Letter/Resume for the tourism office vacancy [2]

If this letter was witten for a task 1 essay, the student will get a failing mark due to coherence, clarity, and grammar errors. Now, if was written for a serious job application, the applicant will not be called for an interview due to the same reasons. The applicant will be disqualified for consideration.

The best thing the student can do at this point is enroll in proper ESL classes, starting at the most basic class possible. This letter proves that the student does not have a rudimentary or basic understanding of how to properly develop and present written English sentences. The student requires serious grammar lessons before attempting to write a test essay / letter or a job application letter in the real world.