Writing Feedback / People Costs on Certain Needs in Ireland, Italy, Spain, Sweden and Turkey in 2002 [2]

People costs on certain needs in Ireland, Italy, Spain, Sweden and Turkey in 2002, measured in proportion, are displayed in the table. It is important to note that all countries had virtually similar priorities on their spending, whilst food/drinks/tobacco occupied the highest percentage and leisure/education was the least.

Looking on food/drinks/tobacco category, Turkey broke a record, at 32.14%, whereas its leisure/education needs was one-eighths, though still the greatest than the other nations. Calculating for a slightly lower level was Ireland. In contrast, Sweden was the lowest which almost a half of Turkey's, stood at 15.77%.

In clothing/footwear, there was the biggest percentage of national consumer expenditure in Italy, exactly 9%. A low level in this criteria was found in Sweden, at only 5.4%. Finally, all five countries allocated very low proportion in Leisure/education. Interestingly, all nations showed the same scale of prioritities, started from highest to lowest were food/drinks/tobacco, clothing/footwear, leisure/education respectively.

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  Table
  

Writing Feedback / The Number of Purchases on Hamburger, Fish & Chips and Pizza in UK, Classified by Income in 1990 [2]

The number of purchases on hamburger, fish & chips and pizza in UK, classified by income in 1990, are delivered in the bar chart, while the line graph shows the rate of those foods starting from 1970 to 1990. Overall, cost on hamburger and pizza reduced as level of income became lower. It can also be noted that the demands on fish & chips and hamburger kept on moving upward in every year.

Total expenditure on hamburger was the higher than other foods, and high income level need to be highlighted, which by far the greatest, at about 42. Interestingly, this number was as twice as both remaining foods in the same level. In addition, most people with average income also preferred to choose hamburger than others. Overall, low level of income spent the least on those foods.

In 1970, pizza was the most popular food, at more than 300, three times more than pizza and fish & chips. However, in the remaining periods it declined, while others improved significantly, especially in fish & chips which climbing a peak, stood at 500, in 1990. Astonishingly, pizza, which was the most popular, became the least in 1990.

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  Multiple sets of data
  

Writing Feedback / The Production Process of Hydro-Electric Energy [2]

The diagram describes the production process of hydro-electric energy. It is important to note that natures are involved in the early process, while the latter roles are taken by mechanics. In conceptual, mechanical energies are converted into electrical energy.

Firstly, water in the sea are heated by the sun before being evaporated and transformed to cloud. Due to low pressure, which temperature follows the same, the cloud condenses and becomes rain. Then the rain will be stored in a reservoir surrounded by a dam, which its flowrate is set by the valve. The mechanical energy is begun when the valve is opened and then the water flows to the path to turn on the turbine. Following this, the water are pumped to reservoir again and will be re-circulated.

The change of energy happens since the turbine is rotated. Its mechanical energies are converted into electrical energies, then are delivered through high voltage cables and stored in transformer station. Next, electrical energy will be transported to consumer such as industrial/residential area using underground cables.

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  Diagram Process
  

Writing Feedback / [Task 1] - Map - The developments of Stokeford, a Riverside Town, in Almost a Decade [3]

The developments of Stokeford, a riverside town, in almost a decade starting from 1930 to 2010 are displayed in the map. The most highlighted difference is a massive reduction of farmlands which were replaced by houses with several additions of roadways.

In 1930, farmlands existed in the west and east side of the town and a primary road leading from the south to a bridge in the north. In addition to this, a large house and gardens were located in the middle of the town, connected to the road and a path spotted behind primary school and going through farmlands to the north east, but over a 80-year period, these were altered into retirement home surrounded by fewer trees and facilitated with new roadway. Opposite side of this showed plenty of houses as the most part in the center to the south of the city in 2010, which was occupied by farmland in 1930.

The northern side would share the same fate, as houses predominantly filled the area. This caused no remaining farmland in this city. Other housing complex, with a road running into riverside, was constructed in place of the shops, next to post office. In the northern east of Stokeford, the path and farmlands were also replaced by some houses. Interestingly, primary school became larger, while no changes occurred in the river stoke and the bridge.

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  Map
  

Writing Feedback / IELTS Task 1 - The Demographic Growth in US State of Oregon [3]

The line graph gives information about the demographic growth, In thousands, starting from 1940 to 2000 in three kinds of regions in the US state of Oregon. It is noticeable that that while in the whole period displayed a rising number of population in all counties, Washington showed the highest population and similar pattern occurred in the others with Columbia witnessing the lowest figure.

In 1940, the most crowded city was Washington, at 75 thousand, and much fewer people wanted to live in Columbia, only about 25 thousand. 30 years later, population in Washington leveled up dramatically to approximately 128 thousands. Slight improvements were shown in Columbia and Yamhill, spotted at 32 thousand and 45 thousand respectively.

In the end of the period, the sequence had not altered with Washington still breaking a record at 248 thousand. Interestingly, the number of citizens in Columbia and Yamhill went up gradually by virtually the same figure, at roughly 12 thousand.

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  Line Graph
  

Writing Feedback / Permanent penalty for perpetrator has been considered by some individuals as a more effective choice [2]

Many people believe that having a fixed punishment for all crimes is more efficient.
What are the advantages and disadvantages of having a fixed punishment?

Permanent penalty for perpetrator has been considered by some individuals as a more effective choice in reducing the level of crimes. Though there are several benefits from this, some drawbacks also need to be watched out.

In positive effect, fixed punishment will give a transparency in criminal law because it is already written in a legal law. This policy will ensure the culprits to get the right sentences based on their criminal type. In Saudi Arabia, for instance, the government stands to cut off the hands of a thief. People will think twice if they want to steal items from others because of the heavy punishment. This will reduce the number of stealing in Saudi Arabia. Therefore, the policy of fixed punishment can be a great step in order to decrease the crime rate.

However, in some conditions, this law may give negative effect, particularly there is a chance in punishing a wrong person. There is a possibility that crime can be done accidentally as the culprit did not intend to do it, he/she was forced to do such a thing. For example, a person may kill someone to protect him/herself from danger. But if we look from the law side, he/she must be punished, though actually he/she did not want to do it. Consequently, fixed punishment has weak side because it has a chance to convict innocent people.

To sum up, it is evident that the government has to be aware about both the advantages and the disadvantages of fixed punishment. It is imperative that this policy needs further discussion to reduce its weakness and make it to be a powerful policy to confront crimes in the future.

Writing Feedback / The increasing level of fatness in children becomes a problem and the government is doing nothing [3]

Some people think that the government is responsible for the rise in obesity in children, while others think it is the fault of the parents.

Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

The increasing level of fatness in children becomes a problem in these days, with several individuals argue that it is the responsibility of government, while the others blame the parents. This essay will discuss both point of views.

With regard to the obesity in children, people believe it is because of the government. This is because government does not create a firm law about healthy, especially in handling body weight limitation, resulting in the increase of children who have obesity problem. Government of Japan, for example, forces their citizens, particularly in youth, to have ideal body. If children have obesity problem, their family have face the consequences such as have to pay tax to government. As a result, japanese children do not have problem in excess weight, all of them have ideal body. Consequently, government must pay more attention to overcome obesity problem in young generation.

However, I do not believe this argument stand up to reality, because this is also a responsibility of their parents. Parent have much greater control in their children's life, including in providing food and drink. In America, for instance, many parents give junk food, such as Mc Donald and Pizza Hut, to their child since childhood. Children become used to eating junk food, even make it as their favourite food, which cause their weight increase dramatically. Therefore, parents have more important role in controlling the weight of their children.

To conclude, although some people argue government is responsible to obesity problem, I would argue parent is the most responsible to make sure their children have ideal and healthy body. Government and parents should work together to improve the level of healthiness in children.

Writing Feedback / Process of learning and health treatment are human rights and should be guaranteed by the government [2]

All education and healthcare should be funded by the government and free for everyone.
To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

Process of learning and health treatment are human rights and should be guaranteed by the government in their country. While some people believe that the government is responsible to make sure all education and healthcare are not charged for citizens by giving full supports, I agree with this statement, but it needs some limitations.

The necessity of a country is not only about education and health, but also other complex necessities such as communication. When the government gives full service in these, it means that much money is spent to cover only this 2 aspects. In result, it will reduce the allocation of other aspect and this can make new problems in certain sector. The internet, for an instance, will not fully support a nation if there is not enough money. This will reduce the performance of communication and information access which will cause a decrease in overall performance of the country. Therefore, the government should has a balance spending according to its urgency.

In reality, those two criterion are the most needed by humans being to have a great life. Though education needs a large sum of money, human resource is a great investment for a nation in the future that will return times higher. In case of health, civilians also need a healthy life in order to have well performance in their life. A concern that should be noticed by everyone about the amount of money given by the government for healthcare. It is not wise to give full supports in it, a limitation should be given to this since it is not long investment and can be covered by individual. By applying this, other areas like transportation can be improved resulting the ease of access in transportation for people. Consequently, a limitation should be considered in aspect of health.

To conclude, I believe there should be a constriction in area of healthcare. The government should encourage its people to be well educated and have their own earning, so they can overcome their spending in healthcare.

Writing Feedback / IELTS Task 1 - Proportion of various citizens in Australia who comes to certain places [2]

Proportion of various citizens in Australia who comes to zoo, library, theatre and cinema is delivered in the bar chart. The most obvious thing to be noted is that two of three kinds of Australian people prefer to go to cinema, while theatre has the lowest percentage of visitor.

Looking to Zoo and Library, these places have virtually similar trend in the level of guest. New migrants born in English-speaking countries are leading the percentage of zoo's guest, at 50%, whilst library is dominated by new migrants born in other countries, around 54%, it is contrast to zoo which hits the low of 34%.

Marked differences can be noticed between theatre and cinema. Most people who born in Australia choose cinema as their destination, reach a peak of 70%, and this is far greater than in Theatre which has the lowest proportion among all places, displayed at 20%. Interestingly, new migrants born in other countries are the lowest visitor in theatre and cinema if compared to other kinds of Australian civilians.

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  Bar charts
  

Writing Feedback / IELTS Task 1 - The most frequent benefits and drawbacks of Fairmont Island [2]

The most frequent benefits and drawbacks of Fairmont Island, based on a survey of guests, is presented in the pie charts by percentage. The most important thing to note is that while high cost of living is the most common disadvantage, good accommodation becomes the most common advantage for the people who come to Fairmont Island.

In common points what visitors claimed to dislike about, there are four reasons. High cost of living leads the proportion at 45%, followed by entertainment at two-third of it and then weather at 20%. Food quality has the smallest percentage, only a ninth of high cost of living.

Looking at the benefits, there are also four usual causes. The common advantages are dominated by the people, standing at 40%, and the scenery following just below of it. Interestingly, the least reason chosen by visitors, the good accommodation that is around a quarter of the proportion of the people, has virtually similar level of poll with culture which is shown at 12%.

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  Pie Charts
  

Writing Feedback / The role of education. It's very important in setting up youth to face the sophisticated world. [2]

The role of education is to prepare children for the modern world. Schools should cut art and music out of the curriculum so that children can focus on useful subjects such as information and technology.

To what extent do you agree?

Education has been very important in setting up youth to face the sophisticated world. While some individuals believe that art and music should be cut out from the school curriculum in order to make children focus on more worthwhile lesson like information and technology, I do believe that these lesson need to be maintained in the curriculum.

Several people suggest a change in children curriculum which art and music are unnecessary for young people to learn. This is because these subjects do not give significant role in the future advancement of civilization, so it is not popular as other subjects such as information and technology. For example, for common people, unskilled at painting is not a problem, but inexpert in using a mobile phone is a shame. As a result, children prefer to study about information and technology rather than art or music. Consequently, art and music is not a necessity for young generation and should be removed from the curriculum.

However, others side, including me, argue that art and music should be remained in the curriculum. Art and music can give much creativity to young individuals and it will be needed in life. For example, playing guitar or painting may be a useful hobby. It grows the creativity in relaxing way of learning. Therefore, children may have a little creativity if they are no taught about art and music, as these are very important in helping their growth process.

To sum up, it is evident that art and music are still needed in the school curriculum to help the way of learning for children, particularly in their creativity. Children must be taught in balance proportion of both science and creativity. By applying this method, children can explore themselves to discover their talent.

Writing Feedback / IELTS Task 2 - Walking is known to be beneficial for health but not many people are walking today [3]

Walking is known to be beneficial for health and yet fewer and fewer people are walking these days.
What are the reasons for this? What can be done to tackle this problem?

Today, a smaller number of people people want to walk to reach their destination, though walking provides advantages for health. This phenomena happens because of some reasons, make people to choose facility transport rather than walking. This problem can be solved by using some possible solutions.

In this modern era, with the assistance of technology, most people prefer to use a vehicle as their transportation instead of walking. This is because it saves more energy and time, practical and ease access are the most wanted things for every individuals to select their transportation. The existence of car, for instance, makes 20 km possible to be reached in only 20 minutes, much faster than walking, and it is also much convenient to go somewhere by using a car. Cars become favourite transportation for drivers. Therefore, the presence of transport facilities in human's life affects fewer individuals to walk.

However, a great number of transport facilities give negative impact, new problem, on environment. Some actions have to be taken to handle the excess number of vehicle. It is important to keep our environment safe in order to have a healthy life. For example, in Japan, the number of vehicles are limited by their government, even the citizen must pay a large tax for every private transport they have. As a return, government of Japan provides several great public transport facilities for their citizen. As a result, the environment in Japan is safer. The level of walking people also increased, resulting in a healthier life. Consequently, alternatives should be considered to limit the number of transportation.

To sum up, a decrease in the number of walking people occurs because of several reasons and some acts should be taken to solve this. Individuals must realize the impacts given by their vehicle. Government also need to create a policy to control the transport facility of their civilian.

Writing Feedback / IELTS Task 2 - Many people buy products that they do not really need [3]

Many people buy products that they do not really need and replace old products with new ones unnecessarily.
Why do people buy things they do not really need? Do you think this is a good thing?

A redundant habit of spending occurs people these days. Many individuals purchase goods and change their old item though it is still functioning. This happens because of several possible reasons and I oppose this behaviour last longer.

This unwise action occurs because of some reasons, particularly in cultural consumption which is the main reason. This is because people will never satisfy with all of their goods and they always want to spend their money in order to obtain newer items for several reasons such as to follow the trends. In China, for instance, the ownership period of a mobile phone for individual is short, around 1 or 2 years. They buy a new mobile phone because they think that the older one is already obsolete. As a result, the number of purchases in mobile phone in China is one of the highest in the world. Consequently, following the trend or feeling of never satisfied will lead to cultural consumption.

This inappropriate act have to be reduced. People should convert their expenditure to others which is truly needed and this makes money become worthy. For example, it is better for people to save their for future needs, as precaution because it may be unpredictable, instead of buying a new mobile phone which does not give much difference in life. Individuals will be more wise in using their money and reduce the number of waste. Therefore, buying unnecessary items is not a wise actions.

To conclude, it is clear that unnecessary purchases caused by a habit of consuming is very serious and I consider it as acts of impropriety. People have to realize that their habit must be changed and make their money to be more worthy.

Writing Feedback / Obesity has been a serious issue in the world and people should be aware about this. [2]

Obesity is now a major global epidemic.
What can be done to tackle this increasingly common problem?

Obesity has been a serious issue in the world and people should be aware about this. Several actions have to be done in order to remedy this which can be derived from its causes.

Starting from the root of this problem, there are some bad habits causing obesity. Firstly, often to consume junk food will supply much fat to our body resulting in increasing the possibility of getting health problem. A heart attack, for an instance, is the most happening disease thanks to obesity. Second, obesity occurs due to lack of exercise. It impacts on low stamina and may shorten lifetime. Therefore, we should avoid these kind of habits to maintain our healthy.

By analyzing those reasons, several solutions can be done to tackle this major endemic problem. Refer to excess consumption of junk food, government need to reduce the number of fast food restaurant. The government also needs to campaign a healthy lifestyle to encourage its people in doing balance diet. A strict rule can also force people to have proportional body like what Japan did which is only 2% of its citizens have obesity problem. In addition, an early education need to discuss about the danger of obesity. Regarding lack of exercise, it will be better for individuals to allocate at least 30 minutes in each day to do exercise, accompanied by a balance diet to maintain the nutrition in our body. Consequently, all possible solutions will be effective if both government and individual take part to overcome obesity issue.

Great solutions can be reflected by understanding the causes. We have to pay more attention on this and hold hand together to resolve this issue.

Writing Feedback / The main problems to consume alternative energy sources are the budget and field appliance [3]

Alternative energy sources that use the natural power of the wind, waves and sun are too expensive and complicated to replace the coal, oil and gas that we use to power our cities and transport.

To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

Sustainable sources of energy which use power from nature such as the wind, waves and sun have been considered by some people as ineffective way because of huge spending on money and the complication in replacing coal, oil and gas that has been used for supplying energy to cities and transport. By looking on the benefits and the drawbacks of alternative energy, I strongly agree that conventional energy resources are better option in the present time.

Alternative energy sources are more sustainable and do not harm environment in providing energy. This is because these sources have a long lifetime, in generating energy for human's necessities. The heat of the sun, for an instance, can be absorbed and then converted to electrical energy by using solar panels. Just simply put them under the sunlight. These will take sun heat as much as possible and change it into electricity which is stored until used. One country using this solar panel is Germany which generates 35,5 GW. As a result, German people can meet the energy needs without worrying environmental problem, it is different from coal, oil and gas which possess great deal of damage to environment. Therefore, alternative energy sources are better way in producing energy rather than depending too much on conventional energy.

However, in reality, the energy obtained from alternative resources are not efficient and need more complex facilities. This occurs due to the fact that the cost is far greater than the obtained energy. For example, China's wave power station produces small amount of energy, though much money is spent. Other factors such as wave power and machine maintenance to keep machine efficiency in high percentage are also need to be considered. The government of China does not get benefits thanks to its low economical value, while conventional energy can provide more energy with the same amount of money and in simpler ways. Consequently, alternative energy sources have less advantages, but if further study is conducted, those will be very helpful in human's lives.

To conclude, the main problems to consume alternative energy sources are about the budget and field appliance. I do believe that though nowadays fossil fuels are better in providing energy to people, it can be replaced by alternative energy in the future if its main concerns can be overcome.