Writing Feedback / Reasons why adults decide to study and why such education should be shared [4]

Can you give me all your suggestions about my 20 minutes writing task?

ESSAY:The chart below show the results of a survey of adult education. The first chart shows the reasons why adults decide to study. The pie chart shows how people think the costs of adult education should be shared.

The first chart shows that there are seven reasons for adult education. The first reason, interest in subject (40%), is the most important; the difference between the first one and the second one is only 2%. The second reason, to gain qualifications (38%), is about 1,5 times more popular than the third reason. The third reason, being helpful for current job, is about the same percentage with the fourth (to improve prospects of promotion, 20%) and the fifth reason (enjoy learning, 20%). The sixth reason, to be able to change jobs (12%), is higher than the seventh reason (to meet people, 19%) for 3%.

From the pie chart we can see that the coasts of each course should be shared in 3 main parts (paid by taxpayers, individuals and employers). So, the quarter of gains must be paid by taxpayers. Individuals have to pay about 40% of the costs of their course, the rest of price has to be paid by employers.

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Writing Feedback / This is report to describe the process of collecting information for the weather forecast [5]

Hello, can you give me all your suggestions about my 20 minutes writing task?

The diagram below shows how the Australian Bureau of Meteorology collects up-to-the-minute information on the weather in order to produce reliable forecasts. Write a report for a university lecturer describing the information shown below.

This is the report to describe the process of collecting information by producing the up-to-the-minute weather forecast you can rely on.
The weather forecast is made on the basis of incoming information collected from 3 types of sources: from space, from ground and from water. The information from space is received by satellites. Besides the data from space, synoptics get the information from above ground meteorological stations by means of radars. The data from water are captured by drifting buoys and then reflected on synoptic charts. In order to produce reliable forecasts meteorologists analyze the primary infos such as: satellite photos, radar screen and synoptic charts. All this is compiled and transmitted to the broadcasting center to prepare the broadcast.

Finally, the weather broadcast is broadcasted through TV, radio and telephone number information system. Thus, we get to know the up-to-the-minute weather forecast via news and telephone services.

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Writing Feedback / To have several careers and then further education will be something that continues throughout life? [3]

Can you give me all your suggestions about my 40 minutes writing task?

The idea of having a single career is becoming an old fashioned one. The new fashion mil be to have several careers or ways of earning money and further education will be something that continues throughout life.

To date the world is constantly developing and to move with the times modern people tend to study constantly during their life and to keep themselves up-to-date. 50 years ago people had a single career they were specialized in without any extra occupation, working till they get retired keeping their initial workplace. During 8 working hours they managed to do only their principal work and they hadn't enough time to do something else.

Nowadays, thanks to the new technologies and press of modern life, we have plenty of free time and luck of money. Such words as Ťmainť and Ťside jobť appeared. The employers are not interested in hiring the employees on a full time basis, because it comes with social benefits, thereby they engage people for a fixed term contract or a part time job or they sign a service agreement, as it's more advantageous for hirers.

Hence, the employee has got more time for several careers or ways of earning money and continued education.
For those who choose the latter it's a free choice, for some people it's a constrained choice. For such people it a necessity: no pain no gain. People who made this free choice earn more money, get promoted and move up the career ladder, they are competitive. Although, there are some disadvantages of this option: they don't have enough free time and holidays, they don't spend much quality time with their family and relatives, also they should take into consideration a stress factor which is high enough.

Eventually, there are several walks of life after school. Whatever you choose, it rests with you to decide as best you can.

Writing Feedback / "Wealthy nations should maintain the wealth of poorer nations by supplying them food" [2]

Can you give me all your suggestions about this essay and the average score, please.
Should wealthy nations be required to share their wealth among poorer nations by providing such things as food and education? Or is it the responsibility of the governments of poorer nations to look after their citizens themselves?

Before answering the question if wealthy nations should maintain the wealth of poorer nations by supplying them food, by providing them medical assistance and so on or this responsibility relies on the governments of the poorer nations, I'd like to find out why one nation is called Ťwealthyť and why the other nation is called Ťpoorť. Among the wealthy nations I can point out the USA, the UK, France and Germany. They provide a high level of education, social security and high life expectancy. As for poorer nations, the child and adult mortality rate is high, a life span is low due to military conflict and epidemics, the fact that doesn't occur in wealthier countries, without talking about education.

Wealthy countries may provide different charity acts like giving raw materials, donating products or money to struggle against famine or giving specialists in different fields of economics, medicine, education and so on. Reach nations also happen to organize a variety of international events on the poorer countries' territories (sport, musical etc...) which could contribute economical raise of such countries. As for military support, it helps to preserve the independence and keep the peace inside the country. Assistance of wealthy countries is favorable to the development of both countries and creates a background for further collaboration.

However, the assistance may also cause negative effects: running the risk of being influenced by another state or being under its political interference and economical leverage. I suppose that every medal has its reverse, the aid shouldn't be aggressive, especially it's very important to be suspicious of the benefits of military supply benefits. I think that the USA shouldn't have provided its military assistance to Syrian opposition while the President of Syria asked for help to the official government. Thus, wealthy nations are free to share their wealth among poorer nations, but the assistance with military help should be very careful.

Writing Feedback / The chart below shows the amount of money per week spent on fast foods in Britain. WRITING TASK 1. [6]

Can you give me all your suggestions about this essay and the average score, please.

The chart below shows the amount of money per week spent on fast foods in Britain. The graph shows the trends in consumption of fast foods. Write a report for a university lecturer describing the information shown below.

The chart shows that low income earners consumed significantly less fast foods than the other income groups spending more than twice on fish and chips (18 pence per person per week) than on pizza and less than 15 pence per person per week on hamburgers. Average income earners favoured hamburgers spending 34 pence per person per week followed by fish and chips at 25 pence per person per week than pizza at 20 pence per person per week. High income earners also favoured burgers spending on them 43 pence per person per week followed by pizza (19 pence per person per week) then fish and chips (16 pence per person per week).

From the graph we can see that the trends in consumption of fast foods were changing for over the 20 year period. In 1970 the consumption of fish and chips has been in decline till 1985, while the expenditure of hamburgers and pizza has risen steadily over the 20 year period to 1990. In 1985, the popularity of fish and chips has been in slight increase.

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Writing Feedback / Nowadays computers are used in business, hospitals, crime detection and even to fly planes... [4]

Can you give me all your suggestions about this essay and the average score, please.

ESSAY TOPIC :We are becoming increasingly dependent on computers. They are used in businesses, hospitals, crime detection and even to fly planes. What things will they be used for in the future? Is this dependence on computers a good thing or should we he more auspicious of their benefits?

Human beings are becoming more influenced by computer technologies: desktops, laptops, tablets, smart phones etc. Few years ago, if you wanted to surf the internet or to play computer games, you had to visit local cyber café and pay for particular time. Nowadays, there is more than one computer in each house. Actually, in our homes desktop computers are being replaced by portable devices. Our laptops travel with us by plane and by train. It's hard to imagine what you would do if you forgot your computer going on a business trip. You run a risk of getting fired.

On the one hand, in the future computers will be used to replace humans in all the spheres of life. The predictions are quite troublesome. Nowadays, many individuals lose their jobs due to the fact that computers take their place. Hopefully, we don't trust computers enough to rely on them totally and give them the power with our every day life.

On the other hand, there are some situations where we can't stop them completely, for example, when travelling by plane equipped with automatic pilot system. There is certain inevitability that technology will progress and become increasingly complex. Today we become addicted too much to computer technologies; this is the reason why, one day, will discover ourselves controlled by them.

It's never late to mend the situations by being extremely vigilant trying to prevent this turn of events. However, if it happens, we must remain the dominant part of the computer system.

Writing Feedback / IELTS WRITING TASK 1. Chorleywood is a village near London whose population has increased steadily [3]

Can you give me all your suggestions about this essay and the average score, please.

ESSAY:Chorleywood is a village near London whose population has increased steadily since the middle of the nineteenth century. The map below shows the development of the village.

Write a report for a university lecturer describing the development of the village.

From the map we can see a village called Chorleywood and its development between 1868 and 1994. The population of the village has increased steadily since the middle of the 19th century.

First of all, it was a small settlement founded in 1868 near the main road. Then, 15 years later, this small settlement became a small village and moved to the north. A railway was built in 1909 and Chorleywood obtained its railway station called Chorleywood station. After that, 13 years later, the village became larger and moved to the east.

Meanwhile a motorway was constructed in 1970 and the village grew and extended its borders. During the next 24 years Chorleywood has been spreading out around the Chorleywood Park and the Golf course, in their eastern part and along the motorway.

Though, by the year 1994 the population of the village rose and during the period that lasted 126 years the village area increased in about 10 times.

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Writing Feedback / IELTS 2. We have become depended upon bad news and the mass media are aware of this. [2]

Can you give me all your suggestions about this essay and the average score, please.

News editors decide what to broadcast on television and what to print in newspapers. What factors do you think influence these decisions? Do we become used to bad news? Would it he better if more good news was reported?

It has often been said that ŤNo news is good newsť, because it's not sold very well. On the other hand, bad news is so ordinary that in order to cope with it, we often simply ignore it. We have become depended upon bad news and the mass media are aware of this.

While newspapers, tabloids and TV stations may aim to report world events accurately, be they natural or human disasters, political events or the horrors of war, it's also true that their main target is to sell their product and gain new listeners or readers to their stations or newspapers. For this reason TV and radio shows attempt to disfigure authentic news and provide attractive news to their audience. Programmes specialising in pop music or TV soap operas focus more on celebrities news, scandals and up-to-date traffic reports. The more serious stations and newspapers like to provide Ťso-calledť objective news reports with editorial comment aimed at analysing the situation.

As can be seen from the above, newspapers and TV shows are tailoring their news to their viewers' and readers' preferences, how they are supposed to report world events in an honest and objective light. Many radio and TV stations do, in fact, report items of good news but they no longer called this news. They refer to these as human interest stories and package them in programmes specialsed, for instance, in consumer affairs or local issues. Good news doesn't come to us in the form of documentaries. They struggle against children cancer or AIDS, or the latest developments in the fight to save the planet from the environmental pollution.

Writing Feedback / Football World Cup and other sports allows people to release their patriotic emotions in a safe way. [3]

Can you give me all your suggestions about this essay and the average score, please.
I'm passing IELTS in a 2 days
Popular events like the football world cup and other international sporting occasions are essential in easing international tensions and releasing patriotic emotions in a safe way.

ESSAY:
Popular activities like the football World Cup and other international sporting events are essential in easing international problems and allow people to release their patriotic emotions in a safe way. As such, it is worth asking if the international sporting events should exist. Personally, I think they should.


On the one hand, the international sporting competitions create a particular atmosphere which is exemplified by the World Cup 2014. There were lots of decorations in malls, many families got together to watch football matches with participation of their national teams. It should not go unspoken that during international sporting events, for instance, football, top footballers take part like Messi, Neimar or Ronaldo.


On the other hand, accidents can occur like during Euro 2016, when fans in fan zones began to attack each other, because of their different points of view. It tensions the relations between countries and tensions relations towards the country which started this. In addition, the big international sporting events sometimes attract terrorists which happened previously last year in France, when a group of enemies carried out an act near the stadium while the President of France was there.


Hence, I agree that the international sporting events are the occasion to facilitate tensions, release patriotic emotions in a safe way and lift the spirit, but there are also some bad things which can occur during activities like terrorist acts, the growth of criminal activity around the event and clashes between fans of different countries. These facts can badly influence the relations between countries.

Writing Feedback / From the bar chart we can see the amount spent on consumer goods in thousand pounds sterling [2]

Can you give me all your suggestions about this essay and the average score, please.

From the bar chart we can see the amount spent on consumer goods in thousand pounds sterling. There are four countries: Germany, Italy, France and Britain and six categories: Personal stereos, Tennis racquets, Perfumes, CDs, Toys and Photographic film.

As seen in the chart, The United Kingdom prevails in all market spheres (which were mentioned above), in comparison with other countries in all fields bigger up to 160 pounds. As for France, it consumes most Photographic films, toys and CDs, all over about 150 pounds and the least in Personal stereos, Tennis racquets and perfumes, all under about 145 pounds. In addition, according to the chart, Germany and Italy are approximately of the same level if you count on overall amount.

To sum up, Britain consumes the dominant part of all market goods followed by France with about 160 pounds in average spend, then Germany and Italy, which both lay out almost the same amount about 150 pounds in average.

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Writing Feedback / IELTS TASK 2. It is generally agreed today that when a country develop its technologies, the long-es [3]

Can you give me all your suggestions about this essay and the average score, please.

It is generally agreed today that when a country develop its technologies, the long-established skills and ways of life become extinct. It is useless to try and remain them currently central. As such, it is worth asking if the traditional methods of life should exist. Personally, I think they should.

On the one hand, we got used to modern technologies and it is hard to imagine our life without desktops, laptops, tablets, smart phones etc. For instance, for requesting a police clearance document we need to go on official site of state services. Besides physical dependence on technologies, human beings have psychological one on smart phones, because we can't even come out of a house without them. Thus, modern technologies make us be dependent on them.

On the other hand, some people suggest that modern technologies are changing our long-standing traditions which we have been following since our birth.For example, my grandfather doesn't like smartphones or computers, because it is better for him to send an ordinary letter rather than to send an electronic mail. Moreover, one should note here that the modern technologies have changed loads of our habits: to meet your friend you shouldn't anymore go out to see him, because you can see him via skype or something alike. Therefore, the way they used to interact and communicate is being altered for our generation.

In conclusion, one can say that despite the fact that we live in the modern world there are some people who are of the opinion that traditional experience and walks of life might remain.

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Writing Feedback / It is a well-known fact that in many countries children are hired in paid work. [3]

Can you give me all your suggestions about this essay and the average score, please.

It is a well-known fact that in many countries children are hired in paid work. Some people consider this as completely correct, while the others regard this as a valuable work experience, significant for learning and taking responsibilities. As such, it is worth asking if children should be employed. Personally, I think they should.

On the one hand, work influences well on the younger generation, because it helps them to be adapted to their adulthood. Moreover, children become more self-confident and independent. For instance, John Rockefeller started work at the age of seven. John was selling turkeys and at the end of his life he earned 336 billion dollars (inflation-adjusted). To sum up, work can make child's character and develop his capabilities.

On the other hand, many people hold the opinion that juvenile labour causes only negative things. These include an increased high school dropout rate, drug and alcohol abuse. Employers, however, are the only one who benefits from hiring an under-aged person, enjoying a cheap and effective labour. They also opine that employment of children is always dangerous and harmful for the next generations. Because of child labour, minors will fail to get proper education and they will feel the lack of children's activities.

Eventually, work brings much more positive experience however it is more useful when the working experience is accompanied by the college or university studies.

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Writing Feedback / From the bar graph, we can see the levels of participation in education and science in poor and rich [2]

Can you give me all your suggestions about this essay and the average score, please.

From the bar graph, we can see the levels of participation in education and science in poor and rich countries in 1980 and 1990.

Overall, the duration of schooling grew up. In developing countries, the endurance of education increased in 1 year over the decade. As for industrialised ones, it rose from 8 to almost 11 years respectively over the same period.

According to the second graph, the number of Scientist and Technician was much higher in developed countries than the developing countries. The ratio of Scientist and Technician in developing countries per 1000 people both in 1980 and 1990 was below 20, while this increased in 20 rates over the same span in developed countries.

Finally, the third graph represents that the amount spent on Research and Development in reach countries was much higher than the spending in developing countries. In 1980 the spending was around 50 billion US dollars in developing countries while this amount was more than 150 billion US dollars in developed countries. The most noticeable fact is that after 10 years the spending in Research and Development in developed countries was doubled while that amount halved in developing countries.

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