Writing Feedback / Freedom from stress and hunger. [2]

Hey everyone. This is an essay that i made for my O levels. I hope you can grade or at least tell me your views,this is really important for me, thanks..

The advancement of science and technology which has ushered in an era of globalization undoubtedly has metamorphosed the entire society. Looking back 50 years ago, teenagers my age had to plough the land to put bread on their table. Fastforward to today, teenagers are no longer burdened by such laborious work but instead are enjoying the comfort of a nice house and sumptious meal. Thus it is safe to say that teenagers today enjoy much freedom which their earlier counterparts are deprived of. However, this claim does not hold water when we scrutinize the condition of youths across the globe. In fact, this contemporary life has taken away the freedom of pursuing what they aspire to be.

The society today, more than ever, are well aware of the pivotal roles youth play in bringing about further advancement. We are constantly moving forward, exploring new possibilities, and redefining human civilization. As such, the society realize the necessity for it to prepare itself well and ultimately the youths become the fulcrum of advancement. Due to all the reasons mentioned above, teenagers are constantly pressured to equip themselves with the necessary skills and knowledge. Shockingly, this trend has spread across Asia. Asian parents are perpetually racing to enroll their children to the most prestigious schools in the hope of giving their children a competitive edge in this globalizing world. Little do they know that being trapped in the atmosphere of competitiveness has taken an emotional toll on the students. This is best exemplified by our counterparts in South Korea. Research has shown that students spend more than 10 hours studying in school, coupled with tuition lessons -named hagwon- causing them to finish school over midnight. As a result, 100,000 students killed themselves every year unable to cope with the stress. One can only feel appalled upon knowing this. In light of this, it is palpably clear that restricting students to only studies has caused depression to reared its ugly head among students. This has shown all too well that depriving freedom from youths can result in detrimental effects.

Sadly, the issue does not end there. Our counterparts in Africa and Ethiopia are deprived from even the most basic freedom, freedom to eat when they are hungry, freedom to drink when they are thirsty, and freedom to live the way they want to live. At this very moment, many of them are rummaging through rancid pile of trash looking for meager food to ease their hunger pangs. Worse still, 16000 children died everyday in the battle with hunger. Despite the effort put forward by local government to address this issue, it is to no avail. Observing this situation, an important question that should be asked is : Why they had to go through such terror everyday? what happen to the freedom we so boastfully proud of.

I am really saddened upon seeing the condition of my friends. Although this is an age where we have the freedom to explore the wide expanse of humanity, there are still those held by the shackles of burden and hunger. No matter how much we have progressed into a developed society, we have forgotten to address the plight of our friends in Korea and Africa continent.

As youths, the leaders of the future, who are fortunate to enjoy the luxury of being what we want to be, i hope that we can extend our helping hands to those who are not as fortunate as us. as Philosopher Henry Ford once said,''We cannot do everything at once, but we can do something at once". Although it is impossible to completely eradicate hunger, poverty, and rigid educational system now, we can begin by shedding our apathy and raising our awareness so that our counterparts may harness the courage to step out of the gloomy shadows of opression and embrace the hope of freedom.

Writing Feedback / life in the city is becoming increasingly unappealing [2]

I was on a mission trip to Sabah, Malaysia when I had a conversation with a villager,Wati which had left me pondering until today. When I was about to leave the village and i asked them to come with me to the city, she answered humbly,'i would not want to live in the city since there is no trees to make my house greener, no birds tweet to wake me up, and no blue sky for my children to see'. This statement startled me as i always believe that living in a city with its rapid advancement will be attractive for anyone, especially those from loewr income groups who barely makes their end meets. Isn't it why cities like Jakarta and Bangkok are overflooded with people due to urbanization? Yet as i observe the shift of today's society and the direction we are heading in our ceaseless march towards industrialization, i began to see the light in this statement.

The appeal of the city lies in the hurtling speed at which the global economy is travelling into. Advancement being the sacrosanct of mankind is guaranteed to be achieved should we live in this society. Yet, ironically, it is because of the hubbub and stink of our civilization that becomes the push factor of living in cities. In order to give space for another industry, trees are denudated indiscriminately and toxic chemicals are dumped into rivers indifferently. Various type of pollution has arisen as a result, ranging from air, water, and pollution. Although i'm no scientist, i can see palpably the changes taking place in the environment before my eyes. 5 years ago, i was able to enjoy the shower of stars adorning the impenetrable night sky, and the memory is still etched in my mind. Yet now, finding 3 stars in the hazy night sky is even considered to be lucky. Such beautiful and mesmerizing sky which i still remember can only be seen in rural areas such as Sabah. Now, i began to wonder if they will even exist for my children to see.

Furthermore, those with high dreams of having a better life when they come to the city might find themselves crashing down to earth when they become unemployed and find themselves living in the squatter. Although cities do give opportunity to acquire a high-salary jobs, it could be taken as easy as flipping the back of our hand. Diplomas, bachelorettes are now the meagre minimum, which i doubt the villagers are equipped with. Furthermore, focused on ensuring our economic autonomy and well-being, our society has accepted speediness as the norm. Villagers who have been leading slow paced and relaxed lifestyle most definitely will find themselves to be overwhelmed, exceeding what they can cope. The movie 'Ayo kita ke Jakarta' which depicts the story of a rural boy challenging his fate in the cosmopolitan Jakarta and ends with him returning to his village to improve its condition illustrates that the choice to live in a city may not be as promising as it appears to be.

Therefore,contrary to common beliefs, living in a city is becoming less and less appealing to the masses. in fact, with today's fast and furious lifestyle most of us lead, many find themselves seeking refuge in rural areas where time seems to come to a standstill.

Writing Feedback / the recipe to success is in fact failure. [NEW]

There is perhaps no greater pursuit in life than that of success. Our endeavour, either it be at school or work, all aims for the same thing in life ultimately. Hence, the search for the key to success has received attention from many. Looking around, we notice that successful people became what they are today largely due to circumstances, opportunities, and more often than not heritage. However, upon closer scrutiny, a conclusion drawn by many experts are in fact contradictory to these stereotypes; the recipe to success is in fact failure.

This conclusion is a result of closer approach to different aspects of life. The importance of failure as the driving force which can propel someone to such a vaunted position in their life is depicted even in folk tales read to children. The tale of the tortoise and the hare, whereby the hare who always wins every race become complacent and defeated by an extremely slow tortoise shows the key to ultimate success is to experience downfall and failure beforehand.

Failure by itself does not guarantee that the next attempt will be a success, but it must be compounded with a positive attitude from the individual. Having experienced a failure pushes one to work hard and do the extra miles to achieve their objectives. The feeling of disheartened and dejected becomes the fuel to push one to work conscientiously which will allow one to savour the sweetness of success in the end.

Furthermore, experiencing failure teaches someone to have the tenacity and determination to push forward regardless of the obstacles ahead. Should they meet another failure which knock them down, they will have the will power to stand up and try again. Take the case of Thomas Alfa Edison. The revolutionary discovery of electricity was not achieved with a single touch of a hand, but in fact a thousand trials and errors. To unearth something unheard and unknown of was indeed an arduous challenge, but Edison persevered through it all believing that another failure means another way can be done. As it has been said 'another setback means there's another way to win', Edison managed to beat all odds and discover electricity which becomes a critical part of humanity even for many centuries to come.

As failure means there is another way to do something, one is prompted to become innovative and creative in their ways to approach a problem. The challenge that arises from another failure is to think out of the box of a better solution and ways of doing things. A classic example would be students using mind maps, videos, and e-learning to challenge and further sharpen their thinking skills. while another instance that is familiar to all of us is Steve Jobs. Only decade ago, apple company faces troubles in marketing and selling their merchandise. Thanks to the revolution that Steve Jobs present to the world stage, Apple products have become everyone's favorite candy today.

In a nutshell, through failures we face in life, we learn our mistakes, try a better method, and persevere to achieve success in the end. As Napoleon Bonaparte once said,'my downfall raises me to greatest heights', failures that we face should not be seen as a hindrance, but instead a stepping stone to achieve the ultimate success.

Writing Feedback / Nation's well being with a Gross National Happiness Index [4]

Pursuit of happiness has always been a fundamental human endeavour. As Aristotle once said, 'happiness is the purpose and aim of our life'. Indeed, at the end of the day, everything that we do has the sole purpose of imbuing us with happiness. Bhutan is the first country that track its nation's well being with a Gross National Happiness Index.

A child ask her mother what is happiness, and her mother answer 'it is when i'm with you'. The perception of how to attain happiness differs from each individual. Thus, humans seek happiness in everything that surrounds them. In this aspect, advertisers take advantages of this and propagate the notion that true happiness lies in the next purchase. Advertisers bombard costumers with advertisements to establish in their minds a strong association between the accumulation of wealth possession and happiness. Thus, people are coaxed to believe that their well being and self-worth are dfined by what they drive, what they wear, and what they use.

Writing Feedback / How important is sports in your country? [2]

Living in this contemporary society, bread-and-butter issues become the foremost almost in everyone's minds. As a consequence, more important issues has taken a backseat in people's lives. One of such is health. Regardless of age, people from all walks of life must always maintain their health at all times. However, the hectic lifestyle that we have adopted prevents us from allocating enough time for physical activities and such. It is high time that we realize and stand up to take responsibilities of our own health before diseases ravaged our body.

First and foremost, the easiest method to maintain our health would be by doing sports routinely. In my country Singapore, the government has taken notice of this and strongly encouraged its citizens to adopt a health lifestyle. Various initiatives are taken such as constructing artificial parks across every residential area, building areas for recreation which provide sports as an activity. for instance, in East Coast Park, the government not only reclaimed the area to make a beach, but also constructed a pathway for bicycle and roller blade tracks. Visitors then can enjoy the natural beauty while doing some physical activity as well.

Governments active role in encouraging sports do not stop in fulfilling the interest of the general public but also students from different levels. Primary and secondary students have a compulsory NAPFA test conducted annually to test their level of physical fitness. As such, students are required to do regular exercise to keep their body fit, free from threats of obesity, and maintain their health. As Mohandes Gandhi once said, the true wealth of life is health, not gold or silver'. indeed, by having health, we can lead a fulfilling and wonderful life.

In a nutshell, we must sit up and take responsibility of our own health because health is the key of happiness in our life. as it has been said, 'life greatest gift is a good health and a good sense', we should always cherish our health and maintain it by doing routine sport and physical exercise. Or else, we might have just let diseases seeped into our body and be a cause of our future demise.

Writing Feedback / Family life these days has been affected by the hectic lives people lead. [2]

In this fast-paced society that we live in today, we are all caught up in the hustle and bustle of life. Working adults are kept under deadlines to meet, urgent meetings and numerous appointments. Similarly, students are forced to juggle with various tasks at hand ranging from studies, CCAs, homeworks, and relationships simultaneously. As each of us are adopting a rather hectic lifestyle to cope with these challenges, we have brought detrimental social problems to our homes and lives. The alarming increase in the number of divorces, broken homes, and juvenile delinquency is a testament of how our lifestyles have affected our family life today.

First and foremost, the hectic lifestyle that we adopted have disrupted the work life balance, and many social ills have arisen as a result. With a heavy workload, working parents has to spend more time in the office with their pile of work rather than

at home with their family. This has led to a lack of communication among the family members and affected family relationships adversely. Misunderstandings and arguments are bound to happen which become the cause of divorces and broken homes.

From the time immemorial, parents hold the role of caretakers for the future generation. They are responsible for instilling moral values and life skills essential for a child development. However, the fast paced lifestyle that we adopted has prevented parents to do so as demands from work has taken away parents from their children. In a bustling city, especially in Singapore, a growing number of parents are passing over their responsibility to educate their children to caregivers or elders. This may cause children to experience a lack of affection and attention from their parents and inadvertently result in recalcitrant behaviour. Such misdemeanour may actually be the cries from teenagers seeking for attention and affection from their parents. However, parents often see them in different light: as an rebellious act which should be punished accordingly. It is heartbreaking to observe the condition of many families being torn apart .

As it has been said,'the family is a haven in this heartless world, parents as well as children should be constantly reminded of the importance of their family. Spending more time with family members should be the foremost in our minds rather than bread-and-butter issues. Only then can we create a harmonious and united family units in our society.

Writing Feedback / What are the most important characteristics a public figure should possess? [2]

Throughout history, a few names stood out from the rest and became highly exalted even until today. They become role models, leaders, and guides in the murky landscape of life. Napoleon Bonaparte once said, 'a leader is a dealer of hope'. Therefore, people who become public figures have common characteristics which are essential to possess and make them become the inspiration of many others.. The looming question would be : what are these traits?

Firstly, a public figure must be passionate about what one preach and said. Henry Miller once said,'What distinguishes the majority of men from the few is their ability to act according to their beliefs'. Passionate people prove to be attractive to the masses as they are unyielding and determined in their cause. One can only admiration and respect for such a person. Therefore, public figures who has burning passion is often followed by many, in the hope of being imbued by the same passion. People continues to put their faith in them even though the path where they lead is daunting and uncertain to the extremes. 'Live your beliefs and you can turn the world around', indeed by being perseverance, change is bound to happen.

Being humble is also requisite for a public figure. as it has been said, 'A hero is no braver than an ordinary man, but he is brave for five minutes longer' A public figure is actually equivalent to his followers, mere humans. Therefore, one should not be arrogant and boast about one's fame or popularity. Instead, by putting oneself in others' shoe, one can better understands the plight of others and offers assistance and aid. For instance, Mother Teresa relinquished her status and wealth to safe the poor and downtrodden people in the streets.

Writing Feedback / GREED, one of the most detrimental human foibles [2]

One of the most detrimental human foibles from the time immemorial would undoubtedly be greed. Labelled as one of the deadly sin, humans who let themselves be overwhelmed by this trait will never be satisfied with what they have, but continues to be in the relentless pursuit of money, wealth, or power. In a bid to do so, more often then not, they resort to taking away things that is not rightfully theirs. Those who are less fortunate will be the victims and must suffer inadvertently. A CHINESE philosopher Lao Tzu wrote 2,500 years ago: 'There is no calamity greater than lavish desires, no greater guilt than discontentment and no greater disaster than greed.' Indeed, if we are unable to control our desire, greed will reared its ugly head in our lives and ravaged everything that we have.

First and foremost, it steadily eats away at the cornerstones of civilized society and undermines the visions, values and collective aspirations that made us strong. For a society to be solid and unbreakable, people within the community must demonstrate altruistic traits in which each of them is willing to help and support one another. For instance, in Singapore's multiracial society, Chinese as the majority must be willing to help the Malays and Tamils, address their concerns, so that an understanding can be created. However, should the Chinese close an eye and use governments expenditure for the sake of Chinese community, this will trigger anger and dissatisfaction among the other racial groups. Greed makes the world goes blind.

However, it is an undeniable fact that greed also fuels our civilization and industrialization. The driving force of scientists to do their research, TNCs to expand their businesses, is in fact greed. The greed to know more, have more, possess more. Without the greed of our forefathers to have easier transport means, we would not have airplanes, cruises, and cars today. Respectively, without the greed of having wider knowledge about the world, we would not have explored the 5 continents.

Writing Feedback / Books or personal experience? Education should not have come from books solely [2]

As a secondary student in Singapore, getting all your distinctions seems to be all that matters in a bid to save a spot in the prestigious JCs. Under Singapore's educational system, students are encouraged or more precisely are expected to work conscientiously since young age. Therefore, drowning themselves in mountainous books and regurgitating lines from their textbooks is what most people resorts to. I witness a student bump himself into a pole while reading a dictionary in the streets. hence, one begs to differ, are these truly necessary in order to achieve education? Education if defined mean the general sense or experience that has a formative effect on the character or physical ability of someone. Thus, it should not have come from books solely, but rather from practical experience. Students should not be compelled to long hours of tedious studies every single day.

First and foremost, it is an undeniable fact that book is the source of knowledge. From the time immemorial, humans rely on books to have a profound understanding of a matter,a footing before conducting any research, or simply to provide a hospital for the mind. Therefore it is understandable that schools strongly encourage their students to fully contemplate their textbooks. Through undertstanding the textbooks compounded with routine exercise of doing various questions, one can grow in mind and widen their expanse of knowledge, all the while widening their horizon. However, as some students have expressed their concern of being unable to cope with such schedule, there can always be an alternative which provides similar learning points but offers relaxation.

Conducting experiments is a way to go. For students who face difficulties in understanding science theories of how chemicals react or how physics law can be applied in our daily lives, various apparatus in the laboratory can serves to be a beneficial tool for such.For instance, to understand law of electricity, one can use batteries, crocodile clips, light bulbs,anmeter, and afterwards assemble a circuit similar to the ones in their textbook. My having a hands-on experience, they can better understand the subjects at hand and apply it in their examinations even daily lives.as John Locke said, 'reading only furnished the mind with the materials of knowledge, it is thinking that makes us read what's ours', the thinking process is the most vital aspect of our learning endeavours. Therefore, the expanse of our thinking should not be confined within the boundaries of our textbooks alone.

The advent of various educational websites also introduces to us a novelty of means of education which is through e-learning. As we know, internet also has its similarity with books, which is a source of boundless knowledge. therefore, we can tap on these resources whenever we feel bored of reading books. websites such as Wolfram-Alpha not only provides the summary of learning outcomes but a lso interactive diagrams and animations available for everyone.

in a nutshell, education not comes only from books but also various means such as experiments or the internet. I believe we should not limit our options to any one of them because the informations from various sources completes one another. as it has been said,'learning is a life long endeavour', we should continue to widen our expanse of knowledge every step of the way.

Writing Feedback / How can we inculcate the love for one's country? [2]

HELLO. CAN YOU GRADE THIS PAPER, ITS ACCORDING TO O LEVELS STANDARDS, UPON 30. THANKYOU.

In this contemporary society, to satiate one's desire seems to be the foremost in everyone's minds. Therefore the needs of others, especially one's country has taken a backseat in people's lives. This issue triggers debates all across the globe as governments of various countries realize that more people are becoming lackluster and indifferent to the development of their country, as long as their money pocket is filled. What might curtails this issue would be passive participation of citizens in any country-oriented programs and inadvertently waning growth of one's country. Therefore, it is requisite for us to inculcate love for our country. However the looming question mark would be, how could we do so?

Firstly, love of one's country can be groomed through pride. After all, if a citizen is proud of the achievements acquired by one's country, he will boastfully profess his love and pride of being a part of it. Therefore, the government as the symbol of a country, should be able to reach out and form an understanding with its citizens. The way to go would be to maintain a corruption-free image and take on a democratic approach so that the citizens will feel assured to place their trust on the government. For instance, creating a venue to give feedback regarding any implemented policies such as IR or ERP is a way to create a sense of belonging as they can play a part in the decision making. By being appreciated by their country, Love can thus bloom in one's heart.

Secondly, as it has been said, 'there is nothing better than home', love can be grown in the environment where they feel that they are the most familiar with. Our home country possess the culture that we've immersed in, the moral values that we've uphold since birth,and the people whom we've grown with. It basically encompasses our life tracks and therefore it can serves as the platform for inculcating a sense of belonging and love to one's country. Through immersion of cultures by setting up dances and performances, people can know more and have profound understanding of their roots. The various ethnic dances such as Barongsai and Tari Piring performed during the National Day Parade is an instance of such. in commemoration of the independence day, people have the opportunity to engage and widen their knowledge about their country. Admiration of such will leads to love eventually.

In a nutshell, love of one's country is important to sustain growth of the country and maintain one's roots therefore various ways can be tried by the government or communities to inculcate it. As a citizen, it is imperative to understand the importance of our role in enhancing the competitiveness of our country. It is high time that we realize this or we could be the very hands that ravaged our home. As it has been said, 'dont ask what the country can do for you, but ask what you can do for your country'.

Writing Feedback / Should the term FAILURE be used in educational system? [NEW]

In the pursuit of becoming an educational hub, Singapore strives to maintain its competitiveness in this ever-modernizing society by adopting an academically rigorous education system. under this system, we use the terms 'failures' and 'distinctions' as a yardstick in schools to measure the standards of each student. However, only recently there have been a war of words regarding the need to address the academically weaker students as failures. Is it truly necessary to label certain students with such demoralizing word?

Failure if defined meant the state of not meeting the desired outcome or objective. Upon seeing it from the schools perspective, labeling certain groups certainly creates a line between the 'distinctions' -academically stronger students- and the 'failures' -academically weaker students' and makes it easier to teach each group. Some claimed that by dividing the students according to their strength in academics, more focus can be ascribed to certain weak individuals and thus this can promotes accelerated growth for both groups.

However, is it truly so? I am of the opinion that there should not have been any kind of classification among students, especially as young as primary or secondary. Such classification may cause detrimental effects on the students. They may take an emotional toll from the constant demoralizing from both teachers and their parents. As such, weak students may develop low self esteem and worse, lack of confidence in achieving their goal. As they become used to being discouraged, they perceive success as no longer achievable and thus lost the motivation to study. Would not this outcome be the exact opposite of the purpose?

Our education system, with full accolades need to shift away from the notion of simply passing and failing. A bleak picture painted was weaker students being passed over, and eventually being denied of priority in education. Therefore more attention and resources should be directed to the weaker students. By doing so, They will be encouraged to do well and strive to achieve that objective.

Writing Feedback / "beauty is in fact in the eyes of the beholder" - O level essay BEAUTY [3]

From time immemorial, appearance has been foremost in humans' minds. Either it be centuries before BC, or today in this every-modernizing society, humans are judged by their physical appearance. Women appraised by their beauty before being wed to bachelors or men judged by their looks in job interviews are a few evidences that we are indeed living in a jaundiced society who lay great emphasis on outer appearance, or most specifically, one's beauty. Thus, it is not surprising to witness mankind, especially women from all walks of life desperately try any means possible to achieve the perfect beauty. The looming question mark would be, is such extensive measures taken necessary and truly worth it in the end?

As a wise man once said, 'Beauty is in the eyes of the beholder", I am of the opinion that beauty should not be defined as physical appearance solely. In fact, beauty is defined specifically by dictionary as a characteristic that provides a perceptual experience of pleasure and happiness. It has no relation to features of our face or body, but rather character traits and qualities. Therefore it is high time for us, especially women in this society to realize this fact and change our perception of the way we see beauty. What should be regarded as requisite in someone would be pleasant character traits, or some might name it as inner beauty.

Nevertheless, such notion was ignored and dismissed as naive thoughts by the majority. Humans prefer to put themselves in the relentless chase to pursue perfect beauty. Plastic surgery is an instance of means used to acquire it. in order to attain high bridged nose, rosy cheek, or voluptuous body that many people desire, some are willing to put themselves under the knife. in fact this issue has engendered plethora of discourses as recent study has shown that there is an alarming increase of the number of young adults partaking this practice.this is especially so in US and Korea triggered by the boom happening in the country.

What some have failed to realize is the possibility of adverse effects from the surgery. Although plastic surgery may reconstruct our facial features to fufill our desire, there is no complete guarantee of success. A number of cases revolving around contorted face is evidence of such. Thus, we should keep wary eyes and take precautions.

In a nutshell, although some perceive beauty as physical appearance, beauty is in fact in the eyes of the beholder, thus it could not be defined or appraised as easily. How each of us see beauty is subjective as it depends on the individual. As it has been said by William Downey, 'Judge nothing by the appearance. THe more beautiful the serpent, the more fatal its sting'.

Hellooo, im practicing to write essays in preparation for o levels. hope you can give some feedback and mark it upon 30. Thanks,