Undergraduate / Inituitive- UPenn Essay Prompt Answer [6]

The UPenn Essay Prompt is introduce yourself to Penn. Our aim is to better understand how your identity, talents, and background guide your day-to-day experiences. Any revisions or suggestions?

As I look around the classroom, I notice a girl nervously staring around the room. She seems as if she wants to speak to someone, but has not taken the initiative to do so. As she sits there, she plays with her fingers. I come to the conclusion that she is lonely, so I decide to walk over and talk to her. Her facial expression immediately lights up once I start talking to her. She is not lonely anymore. I am always analyzing the situations around me to have a better understanding of my world. I will watch my surroundings and base certain judgments on my intuitive feelings. Doing so has brought me success in my personal and academic life. As I go through life in the upcoming future, I will make the best possible decisions to not only benefit myself, but others as well.

Undergraduate / I love to be physically involved in creating creative projects; Kinesthetic - Yale [6]

The prompt is: tell us something that you would like us to know about you that we might not get from the rest of your application - or something that you would like a chance to say more about. Please limit your essay to fewer than 500 words

Any suggestions on how to improve

Kinesthetic
I love to be physically involved in creating creative projects. By feeling the textures and curvatures of the materials I am working with, helps me learn the information much quicker. This is referred to as kinesthetic learning style. Nothing is more stimulating than focusing on projects that integrate what I learned to other aspects of my understanding of the world.

In Physics, my teacher gave the class an assignment to design an instrument to heighten our knowledge of the concepts of vibrations and sound waves. No concrete guidelines were given on how to make the instruments or what material to use, but each student was required to make some type of instrument to present in class. I researched different pictures of violins on the internet, before I started my project, to have an idea of the violin I wanted to create. I was determined to make a real working instrument.

First, I went to a crafts shop to buy a cigar box for the body of the violin. As I roamed the store, I discovered some rods which I used as pegs. I also discovered a long piece of narrow piece of wood that became the neck of the violin, and wall trim that became the scroll.

At first, designing the instrument challenged my fluid intelligence, but as I began constructing my violin, understanding of the lesson plan became clearer. As I drilled holes in the wood, I realized that the size of holes in the instrument resonate the sound of the strings, not necessarily the strings themselves. This insightful realization solidified the information in my brain. Also, as I felt the cigar box, I noticed the thickness of the instrument affected the tone of the sound. Being physically involved in the project helped me to learn the practical aspect of the lesson taught in class. Once I was finished with my instrument, I strummed the strings to critique my work. My violin was fully functional, with adjustable pegs and playable strings. Not only did I create a violin that I still have today, I learned that being an active participant in a project matters greatly.

At first, I did not fully understand why creating an instrument would assimilate my knowledge of past concepts, but as I worked on my violin I started to understand the different aspects that pertain to instruments and waves. I love to engage myself in an activity that requires me to think unconventionally to achieve my task and bring my understanding of a concept to reality.

When incorporating new knowledge, I immediately feel for comprehension. I integrate my kinesthetic learning style to make life easier, for example understanding consistency of mashed pumpkin in the preparation of pumpkin pie to keeping a mental picture of different locations in Los Angeles so my adult brother and I can navigate through Little Tokyo with a bus route map. The time I take to truly engross myself in projects I love has paid off.

Undergraduate / 'I hope to major in Biology' - UPenn [12]

UPenn prompt: Required for all applicants: Considering both the specific undergraduate school to which you are applying and the unique aspects of the University of Pennsylvania, what do you hope to learn from and contribute to the Penn community? (Please answer in one page, approximately 500 words.)

All suggestions needed and considered. Is it good? Is it bad? Does it answer the prompt? This is a very rough draft, so tear it apart.

Through the founder, Benjamin Franklin, the University of Pennsylvania instills well roundness into all of its students. I want to be a part of a school that strives not only to make exceptional students in specialized areas, but also students who have a broad knowledge of other areas as well. I also have a desire to help other, whether it be with emotional, physical, or mental obstacles. If admitted, I would spend a part of my free time diligently working through the community service projects offered at the university. By acting on my instincts and having an outlet for them, I hope to be an example that well crafted individuals enter and leave University of Pennsylvania.

I hope to major in Biology at The College of Arts and Sciences with a concentration in pre-medicine. I want to take my classes by the renowned professors who are willing to make personal contact with the students. I can imagine myself being invited to Professor Kirkham's home to enjoy dinner and an insightful conversation right before the end of the semester. Even with the professors' help to propel the students to succeed, I would have to take the initiative to achieve success since the school is not there to hold my hand. . Having a constant rigorous course load would further instill the concept of persistent hard work brings fruitful results.

I want to be involved in everything University of Pennsylvania and surrounding area have to offer. I want to experience adult life much quicker and since UPenn does not guarantee housing all four years, the transition from on campus college student to fully independent adult will be smoother. My responsibilities might be greater if I am not guaranteed housing all four years, but the exposure to the adult world early would help me better a stronger individual in the upcoming years since I do not have a plethora of students and faculty surrounding me every hour, daily.

Current students at UPenn have amazing school spirit and pride. To have that mentality instilled in me would be amazing because I not only want to be surrounded by people who exude happiness all day, but I can have the chance to scream to the mountain tops that I hopefully attend UPenn as well (expand). I will learn quick, from these students, that work and play do not necessarily have to conflict.

UPenn has amazing academics, but the environment in which it allows students to explore their academic and extracurricular interests seems exciting and inviting. I might have the honor of sitting on the fresh cut green grass and taking in the beauty of the tall buildings while studying calculus as the city environment bustles around me. While there I hope to learn anything this school is willing to teach me. I hope to attend UPenn's School of Medicine to receive my medical school education then concentrate into the Psychiatry residency program.

Along with these different aspects of the school, I have the impression that the students are hardworking and willing to help each other so they succeed in their academic endeavors. A supportive environment would create conducive learning atmosphere for me to successfully excel in my pursuits. Overall, the environment at UPenn encourages hard work, proactive learning and rewarding academic experiences. I want to be enveloped in an community that