EF_Kevin
Jul 9, 2015
Writing Feedback / Some people argue using a cleaner energy to protect the environment [4]
The most important thing to do is practice typing these sentences after you make the corrections.
So for example, with Michele's correction you can practice typing this sentence a few times, and read it aloud:
During last century, industrial developments have brought prosperity worldwide.
I think typing the sentence and speaking the sentence are the most effective ways to program yourself with good grammar habits.
Here is another correction:
People learn lessons from studying history, and ...
You asked about structure and style. You already seem to understand what it means to have good structure. In English, good structure often involves being able to express your whole idea in one sentence. You did that very well in the sentence at the end of the first paragraph.
Another way to improve the structure would be to add 1 or 2 more sentences to the conclusion paragraph. The conclusion paragraph can restate your main idea in a different way to help the reader understand it, but then you can also add something extra. You can make the conclusion paragraph really interesting if you add a comment about what we might be able to accomplish by shifting to renewable energy. What differences will it make for the children of our generation's children, for example.
Before this kind of replacement is accessible to most people, traditional energyis still a dispensable will remain an indispensable...
: ) Thanks for sharing this essay.
The most important thing to do is practice typing these sentences after you make the corrections.
So for example, with Michele's correction you can practice typing this sentence a few times, and read it aloud:
During last century, industrial developments have brought prosperity worldwide.
I think typing the sentence and speaking the sentence are the most effective ways to program yourself with good grammar habits.
Here is another correction:
People learn lessons from studying history, and ...
You asked about structure and style. You already seem to understand what it means to have good structure. In English, good structure often involves being able to express your whole idea in one sentence. You did that very well in the sentence at the end of the first paragraph.
Another way to improve the structure would be to add 1 or 2 more sentences to the conclusion paragraph. The conclusion paragraph can restate your main idea in a different way to help the reader understand it, but then you can also add something extra. You can make the conclusion paragraph really interesting if you add a comment about what we might be able to accomplish by shifting to renewable energy. What differences will it make for the children of our generation's children, for example.
Before this kind of replacement is accessible to most people, traditional energy
: ) Thanks for sharing this essay.