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Posts by mhss
Joined: Feb 26, 2013
Last Post: Apr 21, 2013
Threads: 18
Posts: 53  
From: Sri Lanka

Displayed posts: 71 / page 1 of 2
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mhss   
Apr 21, 2013
Writing Feedback / IELTS - International Tourism becomes more common than earlier. [7]

Hi, make a note on these,

WITH the advent of globalization and increased promotionS IN TOURISM, many people start to travel across THE world frequently.

To begin with, tourism is a valuable and rapidly GROWING sector which links to many other industries

....in order to ATTRACT travellers SCATTERED ALL OVER THE WORLD .THIS HAS eventually IMPROVED the local facilities and THE people to achieve aN accomplished life style.

In addition, tourism is an interface for a culturAL exchange and IT playS an essential role IN presentING local culture to the REST OF THE world.

Admittedly, there are some negative aspects OF tourism

Exotic places, FOR INSTANCE, forestS, mountain rangeS and desertS WHICH are fabulous landscapes to attract many adventurers ARE ENDANGERED DUE TO destructive consequenceS AS A RESULT OF MASS TOURISM.

Negative aspect can be strengthen by,
breech of cultural identity
destruction of local businesses etc.

Try to summarize the essay in the "conclusion".

Good luck.
mhss   
Apr 21, 2013
Writing Feedback / Listen to teachers or Get involved in discussing ; Type of CLASS I like [6]

These can be improved as,

Lectures being the commonest mode of teaching, are widely used in most educational institutions.

In some schools or universities teachers play the main role by delivering lectures themselves but on the other hand, there are centres where students take part more actively in the process of learning.

Pay attention to sentence structures grammar and conjunctions.

Good luck!
mhss   
Apr 4, 2013
Writing Feedback / IELTS: Using a computer everyday may affect children negatively [2]

Please note that,
Avoid using "due to " repeatedly,
Due to the pervasive DEVELOPMENT IN information Technology, computers have become a part and parcel of our lives,THUS A LOT OF children are being trained AT an early age to GET the COMPUTER LITERACY.

Today, IT IS FOUND OUT THAT most of the young CHILDREN ARE hooked on computers, EVENTUALLY CAUSING OVER exposure to computers. IF NO ACTION IS TAKEN AT THE CORRECT TIME IT would cause further damage to IN the Health related issues .

Spending time on computer games is ACCEPTED for a given time. However, SITTING INFRONT OF THE SCREEN FOR A long PERIOD of time would cause fatigue, irritability AND loss of concentration. Lack of physical activity CAN cause obesity among young children.

Since FINDING OF information on the internet is so easy THAT there is no need Of going through tons of research papers to prepare an essay or A DESARTATION.
mhss   
Apr 3, 2013
Undergraduate / Cancers and Alzheimers have affected my education; special circumstances [6]

However, BEING THE ELDEST and the only other female in my FAMILY, not only taking care of my mother, but also I HAD TO take the responsibilities OF a mother and A wife while MY MOTHER was recovering FORM HER ILLNESS.

IN THE senior year, my grandfather was diagnosed with Alzheimer's
mhss   
Apr 3, 2013
Writing Feedback / Discuss the question of death penalty in general- IETLS [7]

Make a note on this,
...and if there is a CAUSE for that, only THE God knowS whether we should die or not.

...punishment is not the IDEAL way to SAFE GUARD THE PEACE AND HARMONY IN our society.

The murderERs consciously use their power and money to kill innocent people without CONSIDERING THE VALUE OF HUMAN LIFE.

Your have a wide range of vocabulary.
Good luck.
mhss   
Apr 2, 2013
Writing Feedback / Encouraging students to take part in more unpaid community services is always an excellent idea [4]

First, there are many ways of acquiring social skills that students must have when they develop into adults and doing voluntary activities is one of those

This could be rephrased as,

First, there are many ways IN WHICH STUDENTS CAN ACQUIRE social skills NEEDED TO BECOME AN ADULT. OUT OF THESE, voluntary activities PLAY AN IMPORTANT ROLE.
mhss   
Apr 1, 2013
Writing Feedback / IELTS 2 "Are drug companies obliged to sponsor poor countries to reduce death rates" [3]

Please help me with iths IELTS Essay

Many people in the undeveloped world die from diseases that are curable because they can't afford the medication to treat themselves. Do you believe that drug companies in the developed world should be obliged to make their products available at reduced prices in these undeveloped countries so that people do not die unnecessarily.

You should write at least 250 words.

It is a well-known fact that the death rates are high in third world countries as opposed to well-off. It is argued that high death rates can be reduced with the availability of drugs to a low cost sponsored by multi-drug companies as they make huge profits. However, it is a gray area whether drugs per say would be able to stop people dying, as diseases may not the only reason for their high mortality rate. Having considered both aspects, I firmly believe that such act will not be successful for being unidirectional.

There are a number of reasons as to why people in developing countries are dying.
The most important being the hunger, accounted more than 60% of death rates in Africa.
In addition, there are certain rites and rituals attached to traditions, which bring threats to lives of children. For instance, a baby girl born in India is considered evil and is deliberately killed to gain success to the family and in the same way, circumcisions are done in large scale under unhygienic conditions and would be lethal with over whelming infections.

On the other hand, people have no faith on western medicine as they indulge in their native remedies. Moreover, some of the diseases are highly prevalent, and discontinuation and haphazard use of drugs may cause resistance to the disease. This can be shown by the high drug resistant strains of malaria in African countries. For these reasons it may not be possible to see a success in the proposed act.

Nevertheless, there remain some arguments in favor of the positive aspect of the act. As some of these drug companies are highly profitable, spending on drugs in third world countries is just nothing for them. Further, some companies sponsor a lot of activities related to fun and recreations and this can be effectively diverted to needy people in the other part of the world. However, funding on drugs may not solve this issue for the prevailing strong hardships in the counter aspect.

In conclusion, high mortality rate in developing countries may not be responded to the act highlighted, as the issues in the third world should be approached in a multidisciplinary way.
mhss   
Apr 1, 2013
Writing Feedback / IELTS: These days many students are doing a part time job. [4]

Please note that,

It is true that, with the social and economic development, the number of students doing part time jobS HAS increased considerably.

I will look into both sideS of this approach.

On one side, people who oppose students from doing part time job have AN opinion that, every person has to do job or business after completion of their studies

Eventually this will be more helpful for them to build their career after passING out from universities

On the other hand, people who encourage and support students to do part time jobS, think that, students ARE BENEFITED WITH some important life skills, such as time management

StudentS who do part time jobS, have to manage their time EFFICIENTLY as they have to complete their daily commitments like study and assignments.

Furthermore, they also earn some money which helps to ease the burden their parent.

Moreover, they can LEARN HOW TO HANDLE money EFFECTIVELY

In a nutshell...(avoid put in ..)
mhss   
Mar 29, 2013
Essays / ADHD is a disorder that is with you the rest of your life [2]

hi, make a note on these,

ADHD is a disorder that is with you FOR the rest of your life.
People think that SYMPTOMS OF inattentiveNESS , hyperactivity and impulsivity are the same,
but they are not, they are totally different FROM EACH OTHER
they have difficultIES IN keeping up during tasks/ play
I'm sure you ALL ARE wondering ABOUT HOW ADHD IS DIAGNOSED BASED ON THE SIGNS AND SYMPTOMS and how to get the CORRECT treatment TO CONTROL ADHD

Finding out if you or someone you know may have ADHD may become a huge headache, but there are easier ways to deal with this and get the right testing

Finding out if you or someone you know may have ADHD WILL BE A BIG BURDEN, but there are easier ways to deal with this and get the right testing
mhss   
Mar 29, 2013
Writing Feedback / IELTS 2; Will fast foods be more prevalent and eventually replace traditional methods [3]

Hope you will contribute on this.

TASK 2: Convenient foods will become increasingly prevalent and eventually replace traditional foods/ methods of food preparation. To what extent do you agree or disagree with the opinion.

It is a well-known fact that fast foods have invaded our dining table due to our sedentary life styles. Some people claim that this would cause extinction of traditional foods and practices as people are going behind easier ways. But it is not so, for the fact that there are numerous ancient cuisines highly valued for their nutritional and medicinal benefits. Based on these, I firmly believe that traditional ways can never be substituted for the convenient means.

People living today concerns more on fast foods with the limited time they left with. These are mostly pre cooked, consumes less time to prepare. Their benefits are indispensable for a working mother preparing meals for a schoolboy in a busy morning. Similarly, its merits further extend to the easy accessibility, palatability and for being fortified with vitamins and minerals. For these reasons it has shown to be popular but it is worthwhile looking whether these practices are actually brings beneficial effects in the prolong use.

In comparison, conventional foods have shown countless advantages in healthy life styles. The ingredients used in these methods are fresh and naturally extracted hence harm less. In addition, its nutritional and medicinal value in Eastern medicine is tremendous in curing diseases emerged due to sedentary life styles. For example, gruel made out of red rice, garlic and ginger is effective in reducing excess fat stored in our body. On the other hand, since most of these foods are cheep and readily available, a government looking for solutions for malnutrition gets ample opportunities to get the nutritious food to reasonable prices.

In conclusion, based on the value in curing diseases and addressing many third world problems, it has become more popular and hence mere easygoing foods cannot replace such marvelous practices, which have been secured for thousands of years.
mhss   
Mar 26, 2013
Writing Feedback / IELTS: Child phenomenon; Learning a foreign language at the primary school. [4]

Please help me with this IELTS essay.

task 2: some experts believe that it is better for children to begin learning a foreign language at primary school rather than secondary school.
do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

It is a well accepted phenomenon that a child can be taught a foreign language more effectively than a grownup.Therefore, it would be more practical to introduce a new language right at the beginning. An issue has raised that a new language be taught in the primary level, but not in the secondary level. This has initiated a new outlook towards both aspects of this early approach and i firmly believe that the it will be more advantageous.

A primitive brain is said to be more receptive in acquiring facts and so as the retrieval. Therefore many schools has made use of this ability in teaching a new language and achieved their goals.The most important positive aspect of this approach would be the high success rates. For instance, if a small child is taught a new set of words and phrases, they will grab at a higher speed than a mature child. Similarly a student in a primary level can be more influential thus it would be possible to make compulsory flashes asking them to use language spoken. Therefore, miracle behind the success in this approach is the inherent property of immature brain's ability in reception, storage and retrieval.

However, a mature child would be more comprehensive and efficient time manager than a beginner thus there are certain drawbacks in relation to the early approach.

Firstly, the child at primary level may be stressed with new words, grammar and its application thus the life will be more difficult as soon as they step up the school.However this will be better tolerated by a secondary scholar. In addition,things will be messed up for a new comer since other lessons are taught in native language. Meanwhile they will no loner be interested for the new language with the above difficulties. After all, it is worthwhile to minimize the harmful effects in order to get the maximum benefit of learning a foreign language at an early phase of ones life.

In conclusion, since the early childhood teaching is well accepted in achieving better linguistic skills, advantage of this approach is countless.
mhss   
Mar 25, 2013
Writing Feedback / IELTS- 2 "Should the Bugdet air travel be blamed for the impact on the environment" [4]

Please help me with this IELTS essay.

Q: Some people say cheap air travel is good because it enables ordinary people to travel, while others argue that it is bad for the environment. Discuss both views, and include your opinion.

It has evident from recent records that the number of air travels has increased significantly over the last decade than before. One reason identified for this trend is the reduction in the travel cost, which is feasible for most ordinary people. However, some criticizes these budget air travels, for the simply reason that, it will affect the environment in a negative way. Having gone through both arguments in detail, I appreciate the facility of cheep flights due to a number of reasons.

It is true that the emission of greenhouse gases cause environmental pollution. Similarly, when the number of turns increases, invariably the amount of pollution will be the upsurge. More importantly, as the gas emission is taking place at a higher level compared to vehicles driven on roads and the amount of damage caused may be in folds. In addition, some of these trips are redundant as people fly for no specific reason and it would have been avoided if the travel cost would be much higher. Due to these reasons low cost air travels have become more and more popular and hence it is undeniable that transport by air in cheaper means causes harm in the long run.

Nevertheless, budget air travels has enabled the ordinary people a luxurious mode of transport, which was confined to the highly privileged. For instance, this has given the opportunity a child in a family of average income who have never been on an Aero plane to get the joy of the air travel. Further aspect in favour of this type of travel would be a mass development including the rapid development in airports, hotels and motorways in the region to cater to the needs of the passengers. In addition, it would be a profitable approach for a country in approaching a better international recognition for the tourist industry in providing them with a very effective mode of transport.Therefore, its value should not be underestimated.

In conclusion, it is not only the flights but also other vehicles harm the environment in a similar way thus cheap air travel should not be blamed as the sole contributor to this hazard.

Meanwhile, the new approach has given a nation a range of benefits both locally and internationally; therefore its value is countless.
mhss   
Mar 25, 2013
Writing Feedback / IELTS - Strict Punishment for driving offences is a must to curtail traffic accidents [8]

Make a note on these,

EVEN THOUGH THE NUMBER OF ACCIDENTS HAS reduced significantly by imposing road rules WHAT IS IMPORTANT IN THIS CONTEXT IS THAT DRIVERS ARE LESS LIKELY TO abide to these guidelines.

If you can make a para for the opposing view "strict punishments for driving offences are the key to reducing traffic accidents" it would be better.
mhss   
Mar 22, 2013
Writing Feedback / IELTS task 2 "Face-to-face communication as opposed to ther means" [8]

Please help me with this IELTS essay.

Q: Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Face-to-face communication is better than other types of communication, such as letters, email, or telephone calls. Use specific reasons and details to support your answer.

A: It has been shown from the ancient times that people have tried different ways to interact with others, as live communication may not be feasible all the time. With the technological development, people today experience more effective modes of communication through letters, telephone calls and e-mails. However, some people still believe that it is better to have face-to-face communication hoping to build relationships. Having looked at both aspects, I'm convinced that the best way is decided then and there according to the situation and as a result, it is difficult conclude one way is beneficial over the other.

Face-to-face communication has to be encouraged in situations where live communication is essential. For example, physical contact with relatives in the festive season is greatly appreciated than making just a phone call. In addition, type of information is equally important as highly personal messages can be delivered with out divulging it to a third party and further answers can be obtained promptly. In addition, this type of communication is ideal for building up relationships with those who are unknown.

Nevertheless, when other modes of communication are taken in to account, it is beneficial in many ways. Especially when dealing with business matters, a complaint made verbally will not be proceed unless it is produced in the written format. Another important aspect is its reliability convenience and safety breaking the geographical barriers. For example, E-mail can be sent with in a blink of an eye to the other corner of the world while physical transportation can be avoided by a simple telephone call. Similarly, low postal costs enable more people to use this mode more frequently, and the list is endless, as over the span of the decades these modes have helped the entire mankind in a number of ways.

In conclusion, it is hard to decide which way is better as both ways are having their own merits; therefore, what is important is to select the mode accordingly in order to deal with the rest of the world.
mhss   
Mar 22, 2013
Writing Feedback / IELTS: causes and solution of work-related stress [3]

UNLESS this problem IS addressed PROMPTLY, it will BRING negative effects for both employee and employer.

BOARDOM in the workplace AS complained by most employees CAN BE CONSIDERED AS THE NUMBER ONE CAUSE FOR THE workplace stress.

A lot more to improve.
mhss   
Mar 22, 2013
Writing Feedback / IELTS Task 2 'Reading books only containing real established facts' [5]

Q: Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? People should read only those books that are about real events, real people, and established facts. Use specific reasons and details to support your opinion.

A: Habit of reading will be continued further only if the content of the reading is interesting. On the other hand, those of are from the real world may be beneficial in acquiring knowledge on factual things. Based on two arguments, I firmly believe that both types of books are to be read not limiting to a side in getting the most out of it.

Restricting oneself to books on real mattes renders the reader to get certain advantages. First of all, established factual things help to be a person with a through background knowledge. In addition, these will be helpful to cultivate the patriotic ideas in youngsters and to be role models for the future generation. Therefore, it is advised to devote part of our time refer these type of materials as well.

Nevertheless, reading materials of other types including fiction exhibits a range of positive effects. This variety of books suits different ages and educational levels. For instance, an elderly living alone can spend the long lonely hours sticking to a novel. Similarly, a child will keep on reading a book with miracles of fairy tales or cartoons but may be bored by a referring a political book. Further point, is that ones ability of writing can be sharpen by going through the literature which are mostly creative piece of writings. Therefore, people prefer to be in fantasy worlds rather than dealing with the absolute truth.

In conclusion, it is unfair to make restrictions on readers to stick to so call real, but they should give the choice to select as to what should read. This balance is detrimental in acquiring facts as well as other abilities related to reading.
mhss   
Mar 22, 2013
Writing Feedback / IELTS: conflict with parents a necessary part of growing up? [3]

Please note that,
Conjunction "so" is considered in formal thus better to avoid.
Western culture depictS this clashing as a way IN which teenagers ...
others PERCEIVE..

Your argument "in favour" can be strengthen by,
Pointing out the hormonal effect in early adulthood.
Some of the behavioural changes are beneficial in terms of leadership,....

Your explanations are very clear.Good luck for the exam!

mhss.
mhss   
Mar 22, 2013
Essays / HOCKEY is a hard-hitting Sport; "The School of Fight" [4]

Few alterations as,
1. Everyone is at the same pace and same experience with IN the camp and supervisory officials WILL BE A HELPING HAND when things may go wrong.

2.In conclusion, if I WERE in the parents situation, I would have ...

Pay more attention on punctuation marks.
Overall,it is a very good essay.

mhss.
mhss   
Mar 21, 2013
Writing Feedback / IELTS- What's more enjoyable? - Attending a live performance or Watching them on TV? [4]

Question
Attending a live performance (for example, a play, concert, or sporting event) is more enjoyable than watching the same event on television. Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Use specific reasons and examples to support your opinion.

Answer
It is possible to entertain our selves more in live participation of an event as the joy can be shared with the loved ones in a sentimental moment. Nevertheless, some people believe that it is worthwhile watching the same occasion on television saving resources in terms of money and time. After considering both aspects, I am convinced that what is important is the selection of the event to which one should participate or which can be watched on the screen.

There are events where participation is considered as a great pleasure for both organizers and invitees and avoidance of such events is no longer possible, as our physical presence is essential for the continuation of the event. For example, invitation for an opening ceremony or as the chief guest of a concert. In the same way, it is possible to meet people whom we have not seen for ages. Moreover, blessing of the wedding couple and thanking of the participant in the play or the drama can be done lively. In addition, certain important moments can clearly be watched, and live comments can be experienced especially in a cricket match. Therefore, being on the occasion is detrimental in certain circumstances.

On the contrary, watching events on the television obtaining the same amount enjoyment is possible in certain occasions in which our absence is not highlighted; for instance a stage drama can comfortably be enjoyed with out being smashed in a crowded theatre. Further it would help us to avoid traveling on a busy high way in bad a weather condition. More importantly, we can decide whether to proceed or to stop watching simply pressing a button on the remote controller but this may not be possible if we take part in a live event.

In conclusion, it is hard to decide which way is more enjoyable since it is solely depend on the situation that we are referring to. Therefore, what is important is to select the correct event to attend or watch leisurely being at home in order to get the maximum enjoyment.
mhss   
Mar 21, 2013
Writing Feedback / IELTS task 2 Distant learning as opposed to conventional way of learning [4]

Please help me with this IELTS essay.
Thanks.

Question:
Many universities and collages these days offer distance-learning programs instead of face-to-face courses. Do you think the advantages of this new approach outweigh the disadvantages?

It can be seen that most educational institutions are focusing more on distance learning inorder to combat a heap of concerns and barriers for those who apply well away from these centers. Nevertheless, the convenient style of learning maintaining its own merits points out certain drawbacks in technology-based education. Having looked at both sides I believe that the advantages brought by this E- learning cannot be over ridden for its minor drawbacks.

When the positive aspect of distance learning is taken in to account, it has done enormous benefits not only to students, but also to the universities and in a broader perspective, for the environment as well. From the institution's point of view, lage number of enrollments are possible as space and facilities will no longer be a limiting factor .Similarly, it has maximized the opportunity to cater to the need of a variety of individuals living in the every corner of the world; for example, a baby sitter or a teenage mother is able follow these type of courses with out which it will be a dream for them. In addition, a student engages in fulltime work would be benefited as they can refer the lessons at any time with ease. Further aspect would be, time spent on transport can be eliminated saving both time and money. This has indirectly contributed to keep the environment green by reducing fossil fuel consumption.

However, there remain few arguments in favour of the hardship of distant learning. Firstly, one should fulfill the basic requirements with a computer and the access to the Internet, which may be an extra burden for a beginner. Meanwhile, there are health related issues resulted from long periods of studying in front of the screen and getting isolates from the rest of the students. This is detrimental as it badly affects the social interactions and motivation through peer group competition.

In conclusion, development in the system of education should go hand in hand with the other fast growing fields and this new approach will be a better way of learning for those who have obstacles for further studies and hence its merits can never be outweigh the dark side of it.
mhss   
Mar 21, 2013
Writing Feedback / Start work Early Morning or Work till late night? IELTS [7]

IELTS essay to be written on a format.

Introduction
body para 1-supporting ideas
para 2-opposing ideas
conclusion
other wise you will lose marks.

Go to IELTS blog, IELTS help now com.
mhss   
Mar 18, 2013
Research Papers / Psychological disorder; Research paper outline and content develop [3]

Note the alterations,
1) Diagnostic Criteria

Difficulty in diagnosis

Different treatments ARE described ONE in EACH paragraph.

I hope the language should be more formal for a research abstract. Log to "pub med" and get an idea.
mhss   
Mar 18, 2013
Letters / " You are an angle" ; Letter to a person who helped me [4]

This can be improved as,

I am the real son of THE old man TO WHOM you helped when he was dying. I really thank you and you're THE angle of my life. I am so emotional THAT I can't express my feelingS right now . I WAS SO UNFORTUNATE THAT I COULD NOT hold his hand IN HIS LAST MOMENT. You have done me A LOT BY BEING WITH MY FATHER holding HIS hand for THE whole night. I can't forgive myself FOR NOT REACHING AT THE time. But I am happy FOR BEING THE SON OF my father AND FOR THE FACT THAT HE WAS NOT ALONE IN THE LAST MOMENT . You are A perfect example of A PERSON with A beautiful heart.
mhss   
Mar 18, 2013
Writing Feedback / IELTS TASK 1 JAPANESE INVOLVED IN OVERSEAS TRAVEL [3]

PLEASE HELP ME WITH THIS IELTS ESSAY.
Answer

The bar chart illustrates the number of Japanese (in millions) involved in overseas travel over a period of 10 years starting from 1985 while the line graph reveals the percentage of Japanese travelers landing in Australia over the same period of review.

On closer examination of figures, there were 5 million Japanese travelers in 1985 and exhibited a steady rise over the next 5 years reaching a 2-fold rise by the end of 1990. Unfortunately, the trend was reversed having a slight drop by 0.5 million in the next year after which it recovered with a number of 12 million travelers for the consecutive 2 years. Subsequently, visitors involved in foreign travel grew up sharply from 1994 and reached a peak at 15 million, which was a 3- fold rise than that of the figures recorded 10 years back.

Shifting to the second graph, it is clearly shown that there was a decline in Japanese travelers to Australia in 1990 proceeded by a gradual increase from 2% to 5%. In fact, it was able to maintain the same rising pattern for the next 4 years climbing to 6 % margin by 1994. However, in 1995 there was a slight reduction in Australian patronage by the Japanese visitors.

In conclusion, other than the two drops in middle and latter part over this span of 10 years, the trend was upwards in both Japanese tourists going abroad and the Australian contribution for the benefit of Japanese visiting the Australian soil.
mhss   
Mar 5, 2013
Writing Feedback / Raising petrol price must be the last solution for controlling traffic and pollution [2]

Hi,
Your range of grammar and vocabulary are really impressive.
Make a note on this
You will lose marks if your word count is less than 250.

Some printing mistakes,
More importantly, this is noT only one way to solve these problems.
electronic bicycle is also aN effective solution.

This sentence is not clear.
"Equally remarkable, only by renovating the infrastructure of the cities can growing traffic issue be resolved"

This can be restructured by,
For instance,the traffic jam in Ha Noi capital WAS reduced dramatically AFTER CONSTRUCTION OF more FLY OVERS in recent years.

It is more advisable to propose other ways which ARE more suitable than the former way .

mhss.

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