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Posts by Vns9x
Name: Shon Do
Joined: Sep 23, 2014
Last Post: Jul 5, 2015
Threads: 102
Posts: 236  
Likes: 16
From: Russia
School: Gymnaisym 123

Displayed posts: 338 / page 4 of 9
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Vns9x   
Oct 29, 2014
Writing Feedback / IELTS: More People Living by Themselves [6]

I think you are quite off topic. Since, they ask you the reasons of those current problems. Therefore, my advice for you is to carefully read and constantly remind oneself the prompt during your writing.
Vns9x   
Oct 29, 2014
Writing Feedback / Nature vs industry - it is a must for our country to get the most out of our free space [2]

In your country, is there more need for land to be left in its natural
condition or is there more need for land to be developed for housing and
industry? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

Cambodia is an underprivileged and spacious country. In fact, it remains abundance of isolated land that need to be developed for housing and industry. This essay will prove and clarify why it is a must for our country to get the most out of our free space.

The majority of people in Cambodia is unemployed. Since, there are almost nothing to do in this country except farming. However, there are abundance of space, which need people to get the most out of it. By building a new research center or factory, it will reinforce our country to reduce the unemployment. Hence, people will be glad about that alteration. Moreover, it will surely increase the economic growth of Cambodia. Imagine yourself if a new factory out of nowhere will be appeared. Obviously, those people who could not obtain a job or work will be more than happy due to their beliefs. Since, they have a strong belief that factory necessitate people to regulate it.

Furthermore, our country still possesses some tribes. They also need a stand in this contemporary society. Back then, they had to hunt or pouch in order to survive. More than that, some of them even dwell in cave. Consequently, building houses and in parallel, factories can greatly benefit them. Since, they will be able to learn something new and obtain a comfortable place to live in instead of cave. Even though, some country believe that it is better to maintain those tribes. Since, a large group of people desire to look at those tribes. Thereby, it can help our country to attract more tourists. However, after all, I believe Cambodia should find a better solution to enhance our economy rather than relying on those tribes. For the reason that, ultimately, those tribes will be disappeared.

Aforementioned reasons examine that it is imperative for Cambodia to develop for housing and industry. Due to numerous unemployment in Cambodia. Furthermore, our ancient tribes need to have a better living.
Vns9x   
Oct 30, 2014
Writing Feedback / Grades are the motivation for students to study better, they can create a competitive environment [3]

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Grades
(marks) encourage students to learn. Use specific reasons and
examples to support your opinion

Grades are the motivation for students to study better, because marks can create for you a competitive environment. More than that, it is an indicator if you are prepared to step your foot outside the comfort zone or not. This essay will clarify why grades will compel students to learn.

There are abundance of students who are also study with you. They will be rated as you ,thus, once if you find out that somebody has a better mark than you. Hence, it will force you to learn and surpass the person who obtained the higher mark than you last time. By grading students, class will become a huge competition between many students. It is inevitably to feel jealous seeing someone who has better mark than you. However, this cannot apply to everyone, since there are plenty of people who could get dismay quite easily. To clarify it , a large group of people especially these days tend to consider themselves weak or not capable of anything. Consequently, once they see someone is better than them, then they will resign. In other words, not many spirits can overcome the pressure the move forward. However, as time goes by, they will realize that it is necessary to be jealous when it comes to marks or grades.

Furthermore, mark is the thing that statistically show you your performance. It can greatly affect you in a positive way. Since, most of people on this planet knows that school or university usually associated with your future works or jobs. In other words, it usually turns out that people who studied well at school have a tendency to execute their work or job well. Despite this possibility, again this does not apply to everybody, due to everyone's spirit and lucks. There are many people who studied well at school, however, they did not have enough practical experience or patience or lucks to succeed in this cruel world. After all, everything can possible on this planet.

Aforementioned reasons examine that grades do encourage people to comprehend new knowledge. For the reason that, it grades make the atmosphere more competitive. Moreover, grades indicate whether you will be good enough to handle your future job or not. Hence, it will motive you to study as well.
Vns9x   
Oct 31, 2014
Writing Feedback / Schools, parents, and students would benefit with the requirements of wearing uniforms [4]

I strongly agree that public school should require students to wear uniforms. Uniforms can give school a better environment and class. It also, helps parents with their budget and time. As for students uniforms help them to fit in at school without fashion controversial or statues..

It would have been much more better if you had created a vague sentence. After all, it is an introduction.
Vns9x   
Oct 31, 2014
Writing Feedback / Direct communication is always better than emails or telephone calls or letters [4]

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Face-to-face
communication is better than other types of communication, such as
letters, email, or telephone calls. Use specific reasons and details to
support your answer.

Face-to-face communication is always better than emails or telephone calls or letters. Even though, an abundance of people tend to use those above-mentioned utilities to facilitate their life. However, These are but some of the reasons that I firmly believe that face-to-face communication is irreplaceable.

Firstly, face-to-face communication helps us to understand the opposite person feelings, since we can actually see the person in front of our eyes. Consequently, it greatly reinforces us to read their minds or determining their true intentions by looking at their facial expressions. In fact, the majority of people can fake those facial expressions quite easily, because they could be really experienced at acting. However, I have a strong belief that if you talk to them for a long period of time, they will not be able to maintain their fake facial expressions. However, if you use emails or any others utilities, you will not have any chance to define their true desires, since, obviously you will not be seeing them face-to-face. Therefore, there will be huge and high wall between you alongside your friends or siblings.

Moreover, you cannot share your thoughts as effectively as it should be, by using those technologies. To clarify it, envision yourself boasting about your achievements with your friends. It is almost impossible to allow your friends to feel your happiness even by using phone, since they will not see your face and gestures or your actions, but only your voice. Hence, It is really complicated to transmit all your happiness to the person you are sharing your feeling with. In other words, they will not be to experience all that happiness from you.

The aforementioned reasons examine that face-to face communication is best type of communication you can possibly possess. You and your partner's voices and messages will not be enough to expose your true goals. There will always be a gap between you two, when it comes emails and phones, since you cannot see their faces to understand them profoundly, and you will not be able to express yourself properly by using those technologies.
Vns9x   
Nov 1, 2014
Writing Feedback / Travelling in a group you will have to fully rely on your leader or your members [3]

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? The best way
to travel is in a group led by a tour guide. Use specific reasons and
examples to support your answer.

Although, it is better to travel in a group led by a tour guide. However, travelling that way has an abundance of shortcomings such as inconvenience, uncomfortableness. This essay will clarify all the mentioned above reasons.

Travelling in a group in can be really inconvenient since you will have to fully rely on your leader or your members. In fact, it might turn out that the leader caught a cold or just being sick, thus, you will have to wait for him to recuperate his health. In addition, it can appear that one of your fellow of group tour has a trouble with his health. Consequently, it will pain you if you do not help him out. Imagine yourself if your tour's mate suffers from eating disorder. Obviously, every single person in that tour, it includes the leader, will surely postpone the tour in order to bring him to the hospital.

Moreover, it could be really uncomfortable as well when it comes to travelling in a group. Since, you will have to obey the principles of the tour. Hence, you cannot fully express yourself in the atmosphere. You always need to be careful with everything, because after all you are not travelling alone. In other words, rules are the huge obstacle for you and as well as your partner. To clarify it, envision yourself that you used to waking up at 10 am. However, the typical tour sightseeing starts at 8 am. Therefore, you will have to overcome your habit and wake up earlier.

The aforementioned reasons examine that travelling in a group with a leader has quite a number of drawbacks. Firstly, you always have to rely on somebody which can be irritating , especially, when they have some problems and the tour need to be delayed in order to solve the issue. Secondly, any tour has its own definite rules that you have to abide. In fact, it can be the worst feeling. And yes, indeed, I totally disagree with the statement.
Vns9x   
Nov 2, 2014
Writing Feedback / The best and most cheerful memories we have from our children time [5]

Would i be able to improve in just 1 week since the exam is on 8th?And is it possible to correct those errors ?
Yes it is possible to enhance your writing skills within a week. However, it would surely consume from you lots of energy and efforts doing so.
Vns9x   
Nov 2, 2014
Writing Feedback / Right way to spend money [2]

Some people think governments should spend as much money as
possible exploring outer space (for example, traveling to the Moon and to
other planets). Other people disagree and think governments should
spend this money for our basic needs on Earth. Which of these two
opinions do you agree with? Use specific reasons and details to support
your answer.

Although, some persons think that it is better to spend money on outer space. However, I have a strong belief that there is a plenty of issues on this blue planet that we need to firstly take care. Specifically, poverty and the supply of electricity. This essay will clarify all the reasons mentioned above.

Poverty has always been a leading issue in our world, since there is an abundance of underprivileged countries that require lots of supports from us. In fact, they do not have sufficient foods to consume, a proper education is not available for them. Obviously, how can we think about wasting money on outer space when those problems are still happening. Furthermore, when people are poor, they tend to do illegal things to survive such as poaching or hunting, cutting down numerous trees. As a result, our world is getting warmer and warmer each day. If we do not intend to solve this poverty issue, people will keep damaging our environment. Imagine ourselves , if we were underdeveloped and have offspring, clearly, we would have to do something about it. Hence, the only way to withstand this circumstance is by doing something illegally.

Moreover, another problem that we are suffering is electricity. Our world do not possess any permanent resource. In other words, it is limited. We have to solve this electricity issue as soon as possible. Since, electricity has played a pivotal role in our life. These days, it is almost impossible to live without electricity. To clarify, most of our technologies or utilities consume a definite amount of electricity. It can be a computer, a robot and many others.

The aforementioned reasons examine that there is tremendous unsolved things left in this world. Firstly , a large group of countries still need to be consolidated. Secondly, electricity is about to end on this planet. Indeed, I support the community, which consider that we must spend our money on basic needs first.
Vns9x   
Nov 3, 2014
Writing Feedback / Free time can help us to relieve our stresses; play with kids rather than educating them [2]

If you were a busy parent, would you rather spend free time activities with them or educating them at home. Details and examples to support your point of view.

Free time activities is really important both for us and our child. Firstly, those times can help us to relieve our stresses. Secondly, we are not capable of changing our child mindset. This essay will clarify mentioned above reasons.

After long months of working hard, we obviously desire to have some free time activities with our offspring. Furthermore, it does not apply only to us, but also to our children, since they might painstakingly studied at school. In fact, this type of relaxation is pivotal because this is an perfect opportunity for us to be together and share our past experiences with each other. Clearly, it is the ideal moment to relieve our daily stresses as well as our child. Moreover, they can actually learn something from our past stories while conversing with us. In other words, we can kill two birds with one stone. To clarify, imagine yourself recalling your memories with your child. Consequently, he will be able to pick something up from your stories to facilitate his future life.

Moreover, being a busy parent and in parallel, educating a child at home can be really frustrating. Since, it is almost impossible to educate a child properly with such schedule. Thus, it might turn out that it was a total waste to educate our child at home. Nevertheless, keep in mind that we can only teach our child during infancy. After that, we are no longer useful for the reason that they will interact with different people on this blue planet. Thereby, their characters will shape by itself. We cannot interfere that process because most of their time they tend to spend it with their friends and teachers.

The aforementioned reasons examine that if I was a busy parent and had to choose between educating a child at home or spending free time activities outside with them. Undoubtedly, my choice will be to entertain with my kids. Since, both parents and children are exhausted after their duties. Moreover, we might also be able to teach them something during that time. Secondly, it really depends on our child more than us, thus, we will not be able to teach them especially when they passed the infancy stage.
Vns9x   
Nov 3, 2014
Undergraduate / Failure is one thing I can not live without, I do not fear failure, I welcome it [2]

I took home my test and explained it to my parents, surprisingly my mom was not upset at all. She told me that if I wanted the better grade I would have to work harder that instead of just doing the assigned work I would have to go the extra mile. So that is when I started reading the text book, making outlines, and watching AP chemistry lectures online. Every test I got back, I would go back and correct the answers making sure I knew how to do it, so next time I would not have an excuse to miss it.

this paragraph was quite interesting to read. In fact, try to put more details in this paragraph, then you will be quite good.
Vns9x   
Nov 3, 2014
Writing Feedback / TOEFL: If a student needs extra help with his schoolwork, it is better to ask a friend for help [4]

In addition, tutor's helping dosen't make feeling problem. Friends may make a trouble each other when he or she helps his or her friends. And it is caused disharmony in freindship. This situation is not nessecerity for studying. For example, one of my friends who enjoyed helping his friends did not give this up despite my sincere advice. On the contrary, he thought of heiping his friends about their schoolwork as an effective way of studying assightmaent. However, he did not commit the same mistake only after he broke up friendship with his best friend as he argued about his advise for his friend but it made his friend upset. After suffering from all the hardships he caused himself, the friend came to recognize how grave and irresponsible his mistake was. Therefore, the best way helping friend leads to asking for help from professional tutor.

I think that you should have mentioned that it does apply to every single tutor. However, the majority do.
Vns9x   
Nov 3, 2014
Writing Feedback / Saving some lands! Ultimately, animals will be our number one priority [3]

Some people think that human needs for farmland, housing, and industry
are more important than saving land for endangered animals. Do you
agree or disagree with this point of view? Why or why not? Use specific
reasons and examples to support your answer.

Nowadays, an abundance of animals are getting endangered due to underprivileged countries' careless activities. However, ultimately when we all are wealth, we will commence to protect the endangered species. Moreover, our offspring should also have the chance to look at those priceless animals. Consequently, saving some lands will support the mentioned above actions. This essay will clarify all the listed reasons.

Sooner or later, human will begin to take care of endangered species on this planet. However, we are still a long way before reaching that point, since we as human beings tend to think about ourselves first. It is perfectly understandable because that is our first natural instinct. In other words, there is no point for us to save animals while we are starving. Despite this possibility, I have a strong belief that when we all will be able to reach to the point, which is looking after endangered species, we will have to possess some lands in order to maintain all those precious animals. Imagine yourself if you overcame the poverty, then your most likely move is to think about others, especially, animals. Hence, having a free land would solve the issue because animals need to dwell somewhere that similar to their habitats, otherwise, they will be dying out.

Moreover, our future generations should also have the same opportunity as us, which is looking or even touching the animals. It can provide more knowledge for the future generations. It might turn out that they will be able to find the solutions for nowadays' endangered species. After all, they are our futures and we need to do everything to facilitate their researches or even their lives. To clarify, envision yourself, being a future scientist, obviously in order to solve the issue you need to understand its structure, history to correctly choose the right method.

The aforementioned reasons examine that it would be better if we could save some lands for quite a number of endangered creatures. Firstly, ultimately, animals will be our number one priority. Therefore, the sooner the better. Secondly, saving lands for animals would be beneficial for future scientists.
Vns9x   
Nov 4, 2014
Writing Feedback / Repairing our current roads would lead to many positive consequences [6]

If you could change one important thing about your hometown, what would you change? Use reasons and specific examples to support your answer.

Repairing our current roads would lead to many positive consequences. First and uppermost, public transportation rely a lot on the condition of the road. Second of all, it can immensely help us to be more appealing for tourists. This essay will clarify all the mentioned above reasons.

Nowadays, especially my home town, a plenty of people commence utilizing public transportation. Since, petrol and gas's price are getting higher and higher. Thus, they tend to skip using their private vehicle, some of them even decided to not afford a vehicle.

[...]
Vns9x   
Nov 5, 2014
Writing Feedback / Repairing our current roads would lead to many positive consequences [6]

Roads are our main hometown's issue. It has lead us towards many problems such as traffic jams and ,furthermore, it does not appeal to tourist that much. Thereby, our roads is the thing that i would change if had the opportunity to choose.

Although, it is still movable on the road, however, due to numerous broken roads, from-time-to-time we had a large number of traffic jams or congestions, car accidents. People are immensely suffering from its consequences. To clarify, I can recall myself being late on classes, my teacher always lowering my grades on the test, as a result of me being late. Even though, she knew that my home has a long way to school. However, I perfectly understand that it was not her fault. After all, she just did what she meant to do. Another example. I remember when my dad arrived late on his first interview due to some unexpected car accidents. In fact, he had to help an injured person by bringing him to the hospital. Consequently, he could not arrive on time.

Moreover, our roads are the first thing that tourist usually look at by the naked eye. Sometimes, the road they see repels them from visiting many historical places. Since, it always consumes from them at least 2 hours in order to see those historical remnants of our hometown. Eventually, our country branded a notorious rumor associated with our road. Therefore, less and less tourists sightsee in my hometown. Envision yourself, being a tourist, obviously, time is precious for you and pretty much for anybody on this planet. Clearly, once you heard that it will take from you at least a few hours to check some remnants out. It can easily take the wind out of your sails. Furthermore, after coming to home sweet home, you will definitely share your horrible experiences with your friends or relatives. Thus, my hometown has had a notorious reputation so far because of our roads.

The aforementioned reasons examine that repairing our roads are essential. Firstly, there are countless congestions as a consequence of broken roads. Secondly, not many tourists visit our hometown due to our horrible roads as well.

Please check thoroughly my modified essay out!
I will take the toefl test on 21th of November.
Any critics are welcome.
Vns9x   
Nov 7, 2014
Writing Feedback / Animals are waiting for us to be rescued [5]

Many parts of the world are losing important natural resources, such
as forests, animals, or clean water. Choose one resource that is
disappearing and explain why it needs to be saved. Use specific
reasons and examples to support your opinion.

These days, numerous animals are endangered as a result of tremendous humans ignorance. In fact, there are two reasons why animals need to be saved. First and foremost, they do not have the ability to rebirth themselves. Last but not least, it will help our offspring to be more knowledgeable about animals. This essay will clarify all the mentioned above reasons.

Currently, animals are uncreatable for human. Furthermore, It has taken a long time for our planet to form such precious animals that we see nowadays. Even today, many animals are still forming since they need to adjust to this manmade world. A large group of animals are dying out, the rest of them are still living under the poor condition. It is imperative for us to save them because eventually all of them will be extinct. To clarify, envision yourself, if elephants disappear from this world due to human careless activities, obviously, it will be impossible for us to resurrect this species. Thereby, every single animal need to be supported immediately before it is too late.

Moreover, we must keep them under a proper condition and maintain them for our future generations. They also have to right to check them out, and to touch it. Since, it will provide our kids with more information and knowledge. In fact, if we do not take animals' issue seriously, our kids' knowledge will greatly suffer from it. By way of illustration, I can recall myself being a kid back then, I was really curious about dinosaurs and Mahmoods. They were a mystery for me, Unfortunately, due to many natural disasters and humans' hunting, all those priceless creatures are now extinct. Hence, in order to not make a same mistake twice we need to take care of our world's animals.

The aforementioned reasons examine that animals are waiting for us to be rescued. Firstly, those creatures only live once. Secondly, our next generations should also have the same opportunity as us to see those animals face-to-face.
Vns9x   
Nov 7, 2014
Writing Feedback / Animals are waiting for us to be rescued [5]

Louisa Mae, thanks for advice, i am pretty sure it will consume lots of time to do so, and another thing would you mind checking my previous roads essay out?
Vns9x   
Nov 7, 2014
Writing Feedback / Animals are waiting for us to be rescued [5]

Louisa Mae, You lack a clear understanding of the English vocabulary
Could you point out which word was inappropriate.
Vns9x   
Nov 7, 2014
Writing Feedback / Friendship; constantly borrowing money can lead towards a plenty of negative results [2]

It is sometimes said that borrowing money from a friend can harm or
damage the friendship. Do you agree? Why or why not? Use reasons and
specific examples to explain your answer.

Borrowing money has always been a last resort for a number of people. In fact, by doing so the person that gives you money can consider you as a burden. Moreover, it usually ends up pretty horrible because relationship can only be maintained if it is benefit both members. This essay will clear all listed arguments up.

Obviously, no one likes when they have to lend money even if those people were the closest friends. After all, they have their own life which contains an abundance of problems and successes as anybody else on this planet. Consequently, borrowing money from somebody will slowly destroy the current friendship. To clarify, imagine yourself, being a person who has a friend who always asking for money and a favor. Clearly, as time goes by, it will get more and more irritating since you have your own problems that could associated with your expenses, and income. As a result, your most likely choice will be staying as far from that borrower as possible regardless whether he is your friend or not.

Furthermore, friendship is usually the relationship which benefits both members. In other words, if today you borrowed money from your friend then tomorrow you will have to pay out and help your friend if they are in trouble as the way they supported you. Therefore, there is nothing free in this world. Everything has its own price. Otherwise, if you do not fulfill those mentioned above principles, then no one is going to be your friend or you will not have many of them. By way of illustration, envision yourself giving your friend a ride. You might say that it is free and convince your friend that he does not necessitate to pay back. However, deep inside your soul , you want it. Thus, if he does not pay you back anything in the near future, then you will consider him useless or even worse. As a consequence, your friendship will be over.

Aforementioned reasons examine that it is true that constantly borrowing money can lead towards a plenty of negative results that could easily kill the friendship. Firstly, no one wants to get borrowed especially when it comes to money. Secondly, friendship is a breakeven thing.
Vns9x   
Nov 9, 2014
Writing Feedback / Events like FIFA world cup can positively improve the international relationships [4]

It is certainly true that international sporting occasions like foot ball cups are very popular incidents, so I strongly agree with the idea that similar events play a big roll in relieving international tension and help in releasing the national emotions in a safe way.

this introduction need works. It does not contain the information you presented in the body paragraphs.
Vns9x   
Nov 9, 2014
Writing Feedback / People in the past ate healthier (food) than people do today [3]

An increasing number of people begin to discuss whether people in the past ate healthier food. Many people are of the opinion that the food people ate in the past were cleaner and safer. As for me, I strongly contend that people nowadays eat food with lower quality for following reasons.

The most critical reason is that food in the past was more natural and wholesome.
Layout also important when it comes to mark. You need to provide some more detailed information before presenting an example.
Vns9x   
Nov 9, 2014
Writing Feedback / Technology is the tool that reinforce people to get numerous knowledge overnight [8]

Technology help students to learn more and quickly. Agree or disagree.

Technology has always become a most pivotal utility because it provides us with tremendous amount of knowledge. Furthermore, it has sped up our searching information process. Therefore, I totally agree with the statement.

Technology has been able to connect many people around the world. In fact, people are the source of the information. As a corollary, technology has created for us a virtual world which contains an abundance of knowledge.

[...]

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