Writing Feedback / There are also passion and hobby which should be taken into consideration at work, not only money [2]

Do you agree that money is the only motivation at work why people prefer working in the same company for many years?

Nowadays, money is just like something that people cannot negate in their daily lives. While this is true to some extent; however, when it comes to money is the only motivation why enormous number of people leans to stay working in the same company, I would argue that it is not the only reason. There are other causes like passion and hobby which should be taken into consideration.

Firstly, it is should be clear that the primary reason why people working is to meet their basic needs, so that people who are having secure career more likely to constantly stay in their previous profession due to it is hard to find job in this era. Despite this, there are a great deal of deliberation if people want to leave their prior occupation such as the salary and their future career path. At any rate, the most important thing is whether or not they love their jobs. Although money plays a significant role, but it will be useless if people do not like their livelihoods, and I personally believe that money cannot buy happiness.

In reverse, every person has an option which job they like the most. Some people like Mark Zuckenberg (MZ) in America and Tere Liye (TL) in Indonesia are following their passion and hobby which bring them into successful career. MZ becomes famous because his invention on facebook, whilst TL now becomes well-known writer in Indonesia because he is fond of writing since he was a child. Subsequently, both of them are success in their own ways because of following their passion and hobby.

All in all, in light of what has been mentioned before, money is not the only factor and the answer of that question is not simple; otherwise it is complicated. However, the choice is yours.

Writing Feedback / Media pay excessive concern to the celebrities' lives like actors, singers, or footballers [2]

The media pay too much attention to the lives and relationships of celebrities such as actors, singers, or footballers. They should spend more time reporting the lives of ordinary people instead. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Apparently, it is reported that media pay excessive concern to the celebrities' lives and relationships like actors, singers, or footballers. There are various reasons why I would argue that media should be subtracting the news from celebrities and trying to expose the lives of ordinary people. This makes other people are being compassionate to one another and not being out of touch with reality.

Firstly, it should be clear that media should be impartial when it comes to cover the news. The function of media is to serve information for people, that is why media should expose not only celebrities but also in many aspects of lives. Besides, media have to hold their principle like cover both sides as the important one. When media only expose the lives of celebrities, then, there is something wrong because it cannot depict a real situation of lives. I know that covering star-studded actors or singers could earn tremendous profit for media companies; however, media should consider their function as mentioned before. That is the reason why I believe that media should detract the tidings of celebrities in order to cover mundane people.

The exposure of mundane people will lead to a range of view about lives. Thus, enormous people can realise that there are so many people who need our help in a real life. This makes people compassionate to one another and builds a better place to live with, in which people care each other. Another example is when media devise to cover ordinary people, it will teach tons of people to live frugally and become not selfish about themselves because they know there are a great deal of people living in distress.

To sum up, that is evident that more attention should be paid on ordinary people. Thus, media can act impartially between mundane people and celebrities, which make media more useful because media are not being out of touch with reality. In addition, it will preach enourmous people to be benevolent.

Writing Feedback / There are several reasons why criminal activities always happen in many parts of the world. [2]

Question: Each year, the crime rate increases. What are the causes of crime and what could be done to prevent this rise in criminal activity?

These days, every government all over the world should cope one of global problems such as the rising of crime rates. There are several reasons why criminal activities always happen in many parts of the world. I would argue some of causes about this problem are poverty and only bit of vocation which available for citizens.

It is a fact that the gap of social welfare between the poor and the rich are growing in many countries. This makes enormous people now are living below the poverty line. For instance, more than a third of Indonesian population and more than 47 million Americans living in poverty. This problem will lead to the increasing of crime rates because the poor can not meet their daily needs and that is the reason why they are susceptible to commit crime. Subsequently, this mater is deteriorated by a minimum of vocation for them.

There are some ways to overcome the rise of crime rates. Since the poor is the most susceptible for commiting crime, then, the solution can be divided in a short-term and long-term for them. In a short-term, government can open the workshop in many field of works for the poor, because based on what I know immense of them are unskilled labour. By giving a workshop, they have qualification for searching job which they want. Another solution in a long-term is the cost of education should be cheaper in order to elevate the poor welfare. Since the poor do not have many, a low of education fund is a must due to education is the most powerful weapon to improve their lives. For completing the solution of this issue, government at the same time should uphold law enforcement to prevent criminal activities in the future.

This issue is not an easy task, which means government and many people or institution should be neck and neck to resolve this problem as soon as possible. Thus, the world will be a peaceful place to live with.

Writing Feedback / The outlook of internet based courses at university [2]

These days internet based courses have become a popular alternative to university based courses. Some students prefer this type of learning because they do not need to attend lectures. Others argue that it is important to study at university. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

At present, it is assumed that the internet become a familiar way for students to take courses. Some students say it is very useful for them because they do not need to be present at university, while others deem that study in university is more significant. Although there are some merits for studying with internet based, I strongly belive that learning at university will be more beneficial for student because they can discuss with others about subjects that they do not grasp and they can socialize to build relationship one another at the same time.

Regarding to the first idea, the internet now become major ways for students to learn at university, and at the same, it gives some benefits such as efficiency and education fund. This happens because students do not need to come to university so that the distance problem does not exist. Another advantage is the cost of education become far more cheaper due to the utilization in sophisticated technology.

However, I believe that it is far more better if children keep coming to university for studying. For instance, students who learn at university will be experiencing the atmosphere of studying itself and can socialize with other students. This is so significant because when it comes to learn in university, we are not only trying to get best score in every subject, but also to create link amongst students, which will be useful when they enter working world. Subsequently, if students do not understand about the subjects, they can directly discuss with another student and ask the lecturer as well, which will be difficult if using internet-based approach.

In conclusion, even though there are some merits with the internet based courses, but I believe studying at university will be more fruitful for students. This makes students can directly discuss and make an interaction to other students or even lecturer about the subjects which they learn.

Writing Feedback / Beneficial scenery in the Fairmon Island although the living expense is too high. [3]

A proportion of surveys which measures merits and demerits of Fairmont Island is illustrated in the pie charts. Overall, it can be seen that mostly visitors perceive the benefits regarding to inhabitant and scenery in the Fairmon Island, while the others feel that living expense and entertainment as drawbacks.

Accounting for 40% visitors are satisfied with regards to resident in Fairmont Island. Subsequently, more than a third visitors deem that this place which has picturesque view become another merit. Good accommodation and culture which reach 11% and 12% successively become another plus points according to visitors.

In contrast, the most demerit based on visitors is living cost, in which a quarter of visitors reckon that it is so expensive. The pie charts also depict that just under a third of visitors deem entertainment as disadvantage. The same thing prevails to weather, which a fifth of visitors assume it as drawback as well. Food quality shows the less demerit, which only 5% of visitors think about it.

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Writing Feedback / Changes in the proportion of different people who visit Zoo, Library, Theatre, and Cinema [2]

A comparison of changes in the proportion of diverse people who visited Zoo, Library, Theatre, and Cinema is depicted by the bar charts. What stands out from the bar charts reveals that Cinema is the most interesting place among different backgrounds of people, which is followed by Library and Zoo. On the other side, Theatre remains less visitors.

To begin with, Cinema is always upper 50% for spot that many different people visit. People who were born in Australia hit the highest percentage, which reach at 70%. It is followed by new migrants born in English-speaking countries around 65% and new migrants born in other countries at 50%. Meanwhile, Theatre is still in the lowest place, which only under 25% visitors.

Subsequently, Zoo and Library have different experiences. It shows that both of them roughly at the same level between 30%-50% to attract people. It also can be seen that each background has different places to visit. Library is much more visited by new migrants born in other countries which hit virtually 55%, while Zoo is more visited by new migrants born in English-speaking countries. Finally, Cinema is more visited by Australian people.

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Writing Feedback / The influence of violence scenes in television for children and their behavior [2]

QUESTION: These days, we are seeing an increasing amount of violence on television, and this is having a negative impact on children's behavior. Do you agree or disagree?

In advanced technology era, television is just like something that people can not live without. It is reckoned that the growing sum of violence on television causes a deprimental effect for children. There are several reasons why I argue that it is true because children are still in infancy and they can not digest correctly whether the show of television is good or bad for them.

To begin with, enormous people now virtually have their own television in their home, and based on research that I have learned, they roughly watch television everyday especially for children. That is why the rising amount of violence abosultely will lead to a deprimental effect for children. For instance, many cases regarding to children which are reported in mass media such as news paper or television showing that immense children are copying people's behavior whom they see on television.

Subsequently, based on what I know in Indonesia, one of many television programs which affects children is "smack down". Smack down was a popular program several years ago which showing people in a arena fighting each other and it was proved that many children were imitating smack down program. As a result, some children should be brought to hospital due to injuries in their entire body. It happens because they do not know whether or not imitating smack down program is good for them. Up to this point, that is why I agree that the growing sum of violence program on television has a dire effect for children.

The aforementioned evidence reveals that television which peculiarly contains violence scene has profound effect for children's behavior. In this case, the role of parents become so significant for ensuring children to keep safe.

Writing Feedback / It is assumed that children should learn foreign language at primary school than secondary school [NEW]

QUESTION: Some experts believe that it is better for children to begin learning a foreign language at primary school rather than secondary school. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

It is assumed by many experts that children have to learn foreign language as soon as possible at elementary school than junior high school. I strongly believe that it will bring more benefits for children, because the younger children are, the easier to teach them. At their ages, children can easily remember a lot of things and fond of learning something new.

There are several reasons why teaching foreign language for children would be better in primary school. Firstly, many studies have shown that children can easily remember about many things including to learn new language. In learning foreign language, children are demanded to memorize enourmous words, which will help them a lot when they want to improve their foreign language such as English, French, Spanish, and so on. Another merit in elementary school is that parents can easier direct their children to learn new language than when they are in junior high school.

In comparison, more attention should be paid on learning foreign language when children in secondary school such as the workload for children itself. Learning foreign language is good in earlier ages because the teacher does not give lots of task. It is different when they are in secondary school in which there are more subjects that children should learn. It will make children involving in plenty of activities, which make them feel grueling.

To sum up, it is evidence that learning foreign language when children in primary school is easier than when they are in junior high school. it happens because children do not have many tasks and they are easier to remember many words of foreign language subject than when they are in secondary school

Writing Feedback / It believes that children should be taught to be good parents at their ages. [2]

QUESTION: Some people believe that children should have formal training at school to become good parents. Do you agree or disagree? Give your own opinion

These days, it is reckoned that children in their curriculum should be preached about how to be good parents. Athough it is imperative for children in their future; however, I reckon that it can not be justified for children at their ages to get such education like that. I believe that the most important thing should be taught for children are acquiring knowledge, playing outside with their friends and learning new experiences.

With regards to the first idea, for those who believe that parental programs should be taught for children at their childhood, I would say that it will be useless because children are too young to grasp about those matters. For instance, children are still in infancy and learning process as well, then, how children could imagine adults' lives when they, themshelves, are still learning in many aspects of lives? Formal training to be good parents is great, but when it comes to children, it does not make any sense.

Subesequently, because children are still in infancy, I would rather to teach them enjoying their lives and learning enormous things at childhood. Those matters will be useful for children because it can be broader children's horizon and gain new experiences about many aspects of lives at the same time. Besides, at young ages, it is the best time for children to play with their friends and develop their talents.

In brief, it is too early for children to get lecture about how to be good parents. At their ages, I prefer to teach children about experiencing various matters like acquiring knowledge, playing together with their friends and learning new things because it is great for their development. Although it is significant to teach them to be good parents, but it is not their time yet.

Writing Feedback / By undergoing two different types of experience, children know how to be a better person [2]

QUESTION: Some people think that a sense of competition in children should be encouraged. Others belive that children who are taught to co-operate rather than compete become more useful adults. Discuss both these views and give own opinion.

In this era, competition is just like something that people can not shun, which mean it has adhered in many aspects of people's lives. Many people assume that children have to learn about competition, while some say that it would be better if children could be able to make teamwork. I would argue that either competition or cooperation should be encouraged by parents in balance. By experiencing competitive lives and teamwork, they are learning to be better person and helping one another to purse the same goals at the same time.

The sense of rivalry now is spreading even grander and touching children's lives and it belives that it has positive effects for children. That is why many parents want to engage their children to participate in contest such as drawing, singing, and modeling. Some of many reasons why many adults involving their children in those events because they believe it can arouse children's confidence and it is good for their development. Subesequently, by experiencing those tournaments, many parents expect it can be honing children's abilities and knowing their talents.

However, there are some reasons why parents should pay attention regarding this matter. Firstly, if the children lose in a competition, it would trigger children to feel lack of achievement. This happens because children perceive that they have failed and envisage their lives are useless. Besides, competition also makes children tend to be individualist because they never learn how to co-operate and help other children. That is why I believe competition and cooperation should conduct in a balance way, which will be worthwhile when they become adults.

All in all, it is important to ensure children for acquiring both experiences either the sense of competition or working together with other children in earlier ages. By undergoing two different types of experience, children know how to be better person and how to co-operate between them to reach their purpose.

Writing Feedback / How many books from Burnaby Public Library were read by women and men? [2]

The line graph compares changes in the rates of books was read by men and women over 3-year period. The data is measured in the number of books read. The most siginificant facts to emerge from the graph are that line for men dramatic increased, while the line for women in the first two years rose although in the last year experienced small fall.

In 2001, the number of books was read by men stood approximately at 3,000. Over the following 1 years, the level then rose gradually at 4,000 in 2012. Subsequently, starting in 2012, the rate of books read by men showed large growth, which hit a high roughly at 14,000 by the end of period.

In addition, the figure for women stood around at 4,500, then, it grew gradually in the first two years, which touched nearly at 10,000. However, in the last year, there was a slight decline in the number of books read by women, which hit around at 8,000. At the end of period, it also can be seen that the trend of books was read by men, finally, surpassed women.

Writing Feedback / A comparison of changes in the amount of money spent on books over a 10-year period [2]

A comparison of changes in the amount of money spent on books over a 10-year period, which is measured in us dollars is depicted in the line graph. It is important to be noticed that over the period, the amount of money expenditure on books gradually increased in all countries. The most significant rise was experienced by Austria in last 4 years while france keep on the track underwent gradual growth. On the other hand, Germany and Italy saw a fluctuation in the middle of period. However, at the end of period, Germany still in the first place for money expenditure on books.

To begin with, starting at the lowest place, Austria experienced a dramatic rise in the amount of money spent on books than the others. Initially, Austria stood at 30 million dollars and finished at around 72 million dollars, which was increasing double amount of money from starting point. Meanwhile, France grew steadily and finished at roughly 74 million dollars at the end of period.

Regarding to Germany and Italy, they experienced gradual incline even though both of them showed a fluctuation in the middle of period. Italy grew from 50 to approximately 62 million dollars, while Germany finished roughly at 95 million dollars. Comparing to the other countries, Germany was still in the first place for money expenditure on books since it was started until finished.

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Writing Feedback / The line graph depicts changes in the rate of share price in Outokumpu companies - task 1 [2]

The line graph depicts changes in the rate of share price in Outokumpu companies and is measured in euros over 5-year period. Overall, it can be seen that the figure for Outokumpu's stock price gradually increased at the first term (2006-middle of 2008: January to June), which hit a high at the end of 2006. Subsequently, up to the midst of 2008, the line graph saw a fluctuation, which was followed by steep decline and hit a low at the end of 2008. Then, in the rest of period, the line graph gradually rose.

Initially, Outokumpu stock price stood at 13 euros per sheet, then at the end of 2006, it reached a peak virtually at 32 euros per sheet. After which, until the beginning of 2008, the stock price gradually decreased, but then continued to increase steadily until the midst of 2008, which touched 30 euros per sheet. Furthermore, up to this point, outukumpu's share price was still stable even though there were some fluctuation.

In the second term (middle of 2008: July to Desember - 2010), Outokumpu's share price jumped sharply to around 7 euros which was known that it hit a low of Outokumpu's share price. Afterwards, outukumpu's stock price fluctuated once more until the end of period in 2010. Finally, at the end of period in 2010, it can also be noticed that Outokumpu's stock price did not change much from starting point in 2006 and finished in 2010.

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Writing Feedback / The lines for Pavilion show a significant growth. Tourists in Brighton during the years of 1980-2010 [3]

A comparison of changes in the proportion of tourists to England who visited brighton during the period 1980 to 2010 is depicted by the graph. Overall it can be seen that the lines for pavilion saw a significant growth, while festival remained constant. Besides, the percentage for pier gradually increased, while the art showed a slow decrease year by year.

Pavilion and festival began at fairly similar proportion, just under 30% in 1980. However, the trend for pavilion significantly increased, which reached peak in 1995 although in the next 15 years experienced decline. On the other hand, the pattern for festival remained constant until the end of period.

In addition, art gallery and pier experienced same fluctuation at starting point. Subsequently, the pattern for pier gradually increased from 10% to around 25% in the end of period, while the trend for art gallery steadily decline year by year and hit a low approximately at 7% in the end of period. The percentage of pier in the end surpassing art gallery in 2010.

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