mita23
Feb 24, 2016
Writing Feedback / The mass media makes the sensational issue from celebrities, eg. actors, singers and footballers [5]
hai anita11. your writing is well organized, yet I want to give you some suggestions:
1. you need to concern on grammatical accuracy.
a. The life of extraordinary people alwaysattracts (attract is verb transitive which needs object ) to be reported.
>> so, it will be better if you replace that sentence by " the life of extraordinary people is alwaysimpressive or attractive to be reported.
b. Meanwhile, news about ordinary people also , having achievement, has to be informedalso to encourage societies to be more
2. you need to make good sentence in order to make the reader understand
>> It is because everybody wants to know their behavior and private life much more, and it also requires more profit to the media mass which publish it.
>> it is because ........ and private life much more and this will affect media mass in which they will get profit from this report.
thank you
hai anita11. your writing is well organized, yet I want to give you some suggestions:
1. you need to concern on grammatical accuracy.
a. The life of extraordinary people always
>> so, it will be better if you replace that sentence by " the life of extraordinary people is alwaysimpressive or attractive to be reported.
b. Meanwhile, news about ordinary people also , having achievement, has to be informed
2. you need to make good sentence in order to make the reader understand
>> It is because everybody wants to know their behavior and private life much more, and it also requires more profit to the media mass which publish it.
>> it is because ........ and private life much more and this will affect media mass in which they will get profit from this report.
thank you