Writing Feedback / The degree of education of female in Someland divided by seven groups for five decades 1945 to 1995 [3]

IELTS Task 1, The Ratio of the Highest Education Level of Women in 1945 and 1995

The two pie charts illustrate ratio among all women education level start from no schooling to post graduate between 1945 and 1995 in some land. Overall, high advancement had been made by women throughout 50 year. Although in the earlier period, women mostly took low level of education only, but none of them halted their study at least in year 9 in 1995.

During 5 decades, such progress had been passed. In 1945, 35 per cent of women finished school program in the third grade and equal proportion of them chose no entering school program. In addition, approximately 15 per cent of them suspended their education in 6th year. However, this turn drastically since no one paused at this level and continued at the next grade instead.

Contrast percentages were also presented in both pictures. 1945 witnessed about 10% of female wrapped up educational grade in year 9 and very small proportions in year 12 as well as university degree. Aside of that, a half per cent of female population graduated in bachelor degree while one-fifth received graduation certificate in post graduate in final period.

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Writing Feedback / Every conversation has potential to develop into pro and contra - politic or other sensitive topics [5]

TED summary, 10 ways to have a better conversation by Mrs Celeste Headlee

These day, this world that we live in, this world which every conversation has potential to develop about pro and contra, politic, number of issues are not normal. Research study show that 10 thousands people in america at these moment were more divided than we had ever been in history. We are less likely to compromise which means we are not listening each other and we are making decisions based on what we belief. A conversation need balance between talking and listening. Teenager in USA are more likely to send text rather than talk to each other which make teacher feel fail to teach communication skill.

In this video, the speaker will teach 10 basic how to be have better conversation without wasting your time and boring. First, Don't multitasking, means that when you talk to somone meanwhile you think another topic. Secondly,Don't act like teacher. Because if we concesive about someone opinion it will naturally broke the good conversation. Next, Use open questions, start with 5W1H (what, who, where, why, when and how) and don't make complicated question. Also, Go with the flow, means that if someone ideas are coming, then you should let it out.Fifth, If you don't know, say don't know. Thereafter, Don't compare your experience with them. Please also remember about not repeating your question, it is humiliating and boring. More importantly, stay out the long-winded and forget about details. Eventually, Listen to them and Talk briefly, we tend to listen not to understand but with the intend to reply.

Writing Feedback / How can we speak powerfully to make change in the world? [6]

TED Summary, How to speak so that people wat to listen By Julian treasure

How can we speak powerfully to make change in the world ? this question leads us to serious introspection on ourself. The speaker believe that it is because our habit that make us not listened. Therefore, we need to ignore 7 habits in our way of speaking, namely Gossip, easily judging someone, negative thinking, complain without action, making up an excuse and blame to someone, lying, and dogmatism (bombarding someone with our opinion). Following this, it is unsufficient if we only avoid this without changing our way of speaking. He argue that there are 4 significant foundation we need to be imposed. This is what he calls "HAIL" (Honestly, Aunthenticity, Integrity and Love) to greet or claim something enthusiatically by liken this as a engine. However, engine requires to be fixed by some equipments in toolbox. Everyone has amazing toolbox but only a few of them are able to open it. The first is register, location of your voice (from throat or heart) and secondly is timbre, represent the way your voice feel. Then we might know prosody, a sing song or the matter of language, the rude one in conversation to make our tune monotone or divers. Pace is the other tools which play an important role to speed the speaking or slow to emphasize. Eventually, pitch and volume which indicates the meaning and catching public attention on what we are saying are also vital. If powerfull speaker combined with conscious listener while designing our soundscape (environment), we will create alteration in our world.

Writing Feedback / What skill does everyone need? According to the speaker, it should be addressed to listening skill. [2]

TED Summary "5 ways to listen better" by Julian Treasur

What skill does everyone need.? This question, according to the speaker, should be addressed to listening skill. Every human being needs to listen in order to create understand each other. Without this one, many things can happen when the world avoid to listen each other. Listening is about making meaning from sound by extracting process. People used to this as a pattern recognition to distinguish signal, especially our name. Sound place us in space of time. We tend to aware of the size of the room and how many people are in the room from the vibrations of microphone.

In reality, communities spend 60% communication time to listen, but not very good at it because what they attained is about 25% in general. Therefore, the speaker argue that We are losing our listening It is because we invented way to record something (writing and audio recording), which make "carefully listening" dissapeared And The world becomes so noisy that makes our auditory system hard to listen. To tackle this, the speaker offers 5 ways, namely silent 3 minutes per day to reset and calibrate our ear, practice in "the mixer" situations (in crowded) on how many sounds do we hear, savering, attempt on listening positions, and pay attention on RASA (Receive information, Apreciate it, Summarise it and Ask to someone closers).

Writing Feedback / Writing IELTS 1, describing bar chart of domestic products growth in different type of countries [2]

The graph below shows the average growth in domestic products in wealthy countries, countries that have adopted a global approach to business and countries that have not

The bar chart illustatres the changes of percentage of domestic products in three different categorized countries throughout four decades. In the first glance, globalisers are the countries where show an increasing trend in a row since 1960s to 1990s while wealthy countries experience the reverse trend. A high gross income was clearly seen in both globalisers and wealthy countries.

At initial period (1960s), wealthy nations acquired the highest percentage of annual Gross Domestic Products (GDP) at over 4.5% compared to others, globalisers and non-globalisers were approximately 1.4% and 2.2% respectively. It then contrasted to the end of period (1990s) which the figure exhibited the domination of gross income of developing nations adopting a global method to business at nearly 5 per cent.

Looking at the details of each trends, 1960s-1990s witnessed a gradual decline of rich countries, meanwhile there was a moderate rising In globalisers countries. Interestingly, the proportion of GDP among three groups was more or less 3 per cent in 1970s.

Writing Feedback / The death rate is projected to incline and reach over 0.7 percent in Scotland from 2016 to 2020 [2]

The line chart illustrates the changes of demographic trends in Scotland between 1940 and 2020. Generally speaking, birth rate dominated as the highest trend from 1940 to the present. Though all rates tended to decrease slowly in the past, death rate is predicted to show gradual rise.

At the beginning, birth percentage stood at about 2.5 % which was the peak point throughout 80 years while the others were at nearly 1.5% and 0.9% respectively. The resemblance trend was shown in the figure between the alteration of birth and population until 1990. It was true since they experienced decline fluctuation to below 0.8%. the moderate plunge to 0.4 percent and nearly steady changes was revealed in death rate before 2010.

2016 to 2020 witnesses the flip over trend for birth and death rate. Whilst death rate is projected to incline and reach over 0.7 percent, the other will remain constant at 0.5 percent. Interestingly, the population growth was the only category that dropped down to zero level.

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Writing Feedback / TED Summary by Julia Galef, Why you think you are right even if you are wrong [3]

Why someone have convinced to be guilty even if they are right ?. this question leads us to the "soldier mindset" which emphasize the way we interpret information by taking one side without considering another side. People, in this situation, believe that few ideas/information are likely to be our ally while others ideas are judged as the opposite regardless of discovering others evidence first. The scariest things about this mindset is "someone may think they are objective and fair-minded meanwhile they ruin life of innocent people". This may results in unhealthy relationship among each others.

The strategy to tackle this, according to Julia Galef, is by converting our perspective into "scout mindset". Scout main set is the point of view in which drives to get an accurate information as much as possible even if that is unpleasant or inconvenient. What make someone think as this mindset are emotional and curious. They feel pleasure to look for evidence as similar as solving puzzle and are open-minded of any argument/new evidence. The consequence is not only improving the way we judge someone but it also proofing the reality.

Writing Feedback / TED Summary, the skill of self confidence from Dr. Ivan Joseph [3]

What is the important of confidence ? some people said, "without that skill, it will be nonsense to be a player." This sentence means that when someone lose sense of confidence on each person, they are not going to get anything or we can say "they are done". According to Dr. Ivan Joseph, Self confidence is the ability to believe in yourself in order to accomplish all tasks and It does not matter what the difficulty we will face. More importantly, He claimed that this skill was able to be trained by autodidact as well as by training program.

One of the pivotal method to learn this skill is practice, practice and practice because this skill is not novel ability. By doing so, lots of pressure or even negative talk that come up from others will be tackled soon. However, this usually depend on him/herself because no one else will put a trust If that person does not believe on him/herself. Other way that is suggested by the speaker is by finding the clue on how to decrease error during the practice season. Ignoring what people say while taking into account on good advice are the effective steps to achieve free-error throughout exercise. Additionally, creating positive perception in what individual does is also the key to secure the this skill.

Writing Feedback / Cars, apart of the private transportation, has recently sold to many people in developing countries. [3]

Question :

More and more people in developing countries are purchasing cars for the first time.
What problems does this cause ?
What do you think are possible solutions?

Response :

Cars, apart of the private transportation, has recently sold to many people in developing countries. This fact, in my point of view, triggers widespread issues at these countries, such as air pollution and highly traffic jam potential. Therefore it is required short term respond to tackle this.

Needless to say that air pollution generated from the automobiles establish slowly environment devastation in the future. it occurs since each of them emit carbon dioxide resulting of combustion process, typically for diesel machine. Once the carbon dioxide spread, the air will naturally be polluted and cause limited oxygen for breathing. Health bureau of Iceland released trend of carbon dioxide percentages in atmosphere since January 2015 to December 2015. This article presented increasing trend from the first period approximately 1 % (19.35% in January). therefore, the tendency of "devastation is going to be unstoppable in contaminating environment'' is hard to stop. this issues only need to reforestation the empty land by planting trees that absorb huge carbon dioxides and change it into oxygen

Another impact that probably needed to be considered is highly potential of traffic jam in any roads. when the amount of vehicles in such areas rise without clear regulations, then the traffic jam caused by too many of them will never be avoided like in Ireland, 2013 where over 1900 cars drove across in the main roads caused 3 hours stuck in and this country lost potential money about $ 300.000.

According to aforementioned fact above, fast resolution from government is needed. One of the idea come from the improvement of safety mass transportation. Developing public transportation namely train and bus is offered to solve the issues as they can transport many passengers on each trip with affordable cost.

To sum up, Buying Cars without controlling it will enable creating many transportation issues. Thus, I believe government should solve this problem, for instance by developing integrated mass transportation system.