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'studies, sports or other things' - Tell about a personal character

4 - In regards to the above piece, watch your random capitalization and excessive use of the period; make sure you...

Undergraduatetonydengcnu - Nov 25, 2008EF_Team5 - Nov 25, 2008
The Peking Opera - Describe your activities

2 - Good afternoon :) In regards to the first piece, one suggestion: 'hip, and cool' Should be...

Undergraduatefabxx - Nov 25, 2008EF_Team5 - Nov 25, 2008
Question: Why we have to write personal essays?

2 - In our society, the written word is a very important way of communicating. Individuals are judged not only in...

UndergraduateZephyr003 - Nov 25, 2008EF_Team5 - Nov 25, 2008
Capitalism, Jainism - UC prompt #1

2 - Good afternoon :) Some mechanical corrections: "...venturesome businesses of lemonade stands, babysitter clubs, and..." In regards...

Undergraduateshahindian2009 - Nov 25, 2008EF_Team5 - Nov 25, 2008
To major in film & traveling - Uc Essays Prompt #1 and #2

2 - Good afternoon :) Some general mechanical corrections in regards to both pieces. First, avoid contractions in formal academic...

Undergraduatemgasparo - Nov 25, 2008EF_Team5 - Nov 25, 2008
"Detroit, that's a rough place" - UC application prompt 1

4 - More reflection is needed and less story...

Undergraduateshaydiego - Nov 25, 2008teenaxboee - Nov 27, 2008
Living in suburban paradise, right now, I have not fully figured out what I want to do with my life.

3 - Good afternoon :) I think your content is a good fit for this question. You do a good...

Undergraduatenancyy - Nov 25, 2008EF_Team5 - Nov 25, 2008
"I'm a Mexican female" - UC Personal statement Prompt numero uno!

2 - Good afternoon :) I don't think you have a problem with voice at all! As a matter of...

UndergraduateNickle - Nov 24, 2008EF_Team5 - Nov 25, 2008
I intend to major in communication studies. I have become extremely fascinated by mass media.

5 - Good evening :) While this piece is also good, I prefer the first piece. It seems to fit...

Undergraduatehmirza - Nov 24, 2008EF_Team5 - Nov 27, 2008
'Will I be in college?' - UC prompt 1

3 - Good afternoon :) I agree with Nickle; you do a great job explaining the experience, but no time...

Undergraduatekyledood - Nov 24, 2008EF_Team5 - Nov 25, 2008
"My mom and dad's office" - UC prompt 1 and 2

11 - The only thing I want to ask about is the title: My Mom and Dad's Office Is this...

Undergraduatesilversweet - Nov 24, 2008EF_Kevin - Nov 30, 2008
'Shopping and Dinner with the Girls' - UCF HONORS COLLEGE

2 - Good afternoon :) Mechanically, make sure you don't use contractions in formal academic pieces; for instance, "couldn't" should...

Undergraduatemolzeeee - Nov 24, 2008EF_Team5 - Nov 25, 2008
'It was God' - UCI PS Prompt #2 Help - quality, experience

2 - Good afternoon :) I think this is a proper answer to this prompt; you describe the experience and...

Undergraduatekobenit4eea - Nov 24, 2008EF_Team5 - Nov 25, 2008
'College life / Cortland apple' - Transfer Essays

5 - Thank you Gloria...

Undergraduatecielov - Nov 24, 2008cielov - Nov 25, 2008
New SAIC essay now that it is on track, last advice needed.

2 - Good afternoon :) As you didn't include the prompt for this piece, I have edited your first paragraph...

Undergraduateadelewu - Nov 24, 2008EF_Team5 - Nov 25, 2008
Research paper on Poe's "Ligeia"

4 - Excellent! This is a great passage; if you keep your comparisons similar to this, you're going to have a...

Writing FeedbackTe Amari - Nov 24, 2008EF_Team5 - Nov 25, 2008
Alex and Su essay (the Monkey King and Alexander the Great) common app

6 - I applaud your extra effort. When you feel inspiration come over you, always use it! Put the comma...

Undergraduatejenf3r - Nov 24, 2008EF_Kevin - Dec 27, 2008
In search of an Epigraph for an essay on Poe's "Ligeia"

3 - I actually liked Antoine's more, but I thought I might've been biased. The Little Prince is my all time...

EssaysTe Amari - Nov 24, 2008Te Amari - Nov 24, 2008
Animation career - Essay Question (how to begin and topics to cover)

2 - Good afternoon :) Since you didn't include the prompt, all I can really do at this point is...

Essaysjasleen - Nov 24, 2008EF_Team5 - Nov 24, 2008
alien argumentation research paper

7 - I'll love to read about alien but as your teacher stated, it is hard to give solid evidence about...

Research Paperskevin93 - Nov 24, 2008caomj - Dec 7, 2008
Two short answers; How did you first learn of Smith College / why this College?

3 - Thank you so much!...

Undergraduateluv4evr - Nov 24, 2008luv4evr - Nov 25, 2008
The Sleeper, Poetry Analysis - Assignment "Literary Analysis"

2 - Good afternoon :) To begin with, I have some questions: What type of analysis are you to...

Poetryinsanitywhisper - Nov 24, 2008EF_Team5 - Nov 25, 2008
Starting an admission essay on important discoveries being the result..

4 - E stands for "example" in that analogy, I think! :) Kevin...

Undergraduatexx_khushali - Nov 24, 2008EF_Kevin - Dec 5, 2008
"every time I walk into the open space" - UC prompt #2

2 - Good afternoon :) I have edited a paragraph of your piece and given some general comments as well:...

Undergraduatesncooper10 - Nov 24, 2008EF_Team5 - Nov 25, 2008
Law School SOP (single mother)

NEW - I feel like I need to break it up into more paragraphs, and I think the ending could be...

GraduateCat804 - Nov 24, 2008 -
"Tryouts" - essay prompt 1

2 - Good afternoon :) I do think that this is too specific for their prompt. I believe they are...

Undergraduatesncooper10 - Nov 24, 2008EF_Team5 - Nov 25, 2008
UC personal statements 1 and 2 (transfer student, anthropology)

7 - Sure; post them here and I'll take a look at them!...

Undergraduatekaylearner - Nov 24, 2008EF_Team5 - Nov 27, 2008
"Asian Americans and the glass ceiling" - Prompt #1 UC APPL

4 - Good afternoon :) I have edited the first paragraph of your piece and included some general suggestions also:...

Undergraduateswt_babiigrl - Nov 24, 2008EF_Team5 - Nov 25, 2008
5 senses poem - tropical beach

5 - It may make sense to anyone. But I didn't find this one remarkable. You may need some rhymes...

Poetryrobodiniho - Nov 24, 2008tanty - Dec 9, 2008
'my grades did not meet my standards' - University of California PROMPT #2

3 - Thank you lots for helping me with the editing :)...

Undergraduatekids_jessy - Nov 24, 2008kids_jessy - Nov 24, 2008
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