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Vires, Artes, Mores. Overcoming shortcomings to be a stronger person.

6 - "Vires, Artes, Mores" has been my philosophy my entire life. Maybe not the Latin words themselves, but definitely their...

UndergraduateChrisWalker - Sep 11, 2010ChrisWalker - Sep 14, 2010
"an exceptional medical education" - Yale Essay on interest in school

3 - yes i have read an essay very similar to this one. I do not know if you are the...

Undergraduatesfrick - Sep 12, 2010karlayad - Sep 14, 2010
Admission Essay-- The Soup

6 - This is a very good essay. I am not sure of what the college prompt is but it seems...

Undergraduatecraving4suga - Sep 9, 2010karlayad - Sep 14, 2010
Mechanical engineer: CMU application essay

5 - This needs some punctuation to distinguish it as the word being defined: "Mechanical engineer" -- One who applies the...

Undergraduateyuanda - Sep 12, 2010EF_Kevin - Sep 14, 2010
Data commentary about the growth of 3G phones and total phones

4 - Apostrophes are used in contractions, and that makes the writing informal. He can't win the game because he...

Writing Feedbacksonofgod229 - Sep 10, 2010EF_Kevin - Sep 14, 2010
My parents never attended college; CARE Summer Bridge Program at FSU

2 - This program offers a type of guidance that flabbergasts me. ----- this is a strange word to use. Maybe...

Undergraduateamwdance - Sep 12, 2010EF_Kevin - Sep 14, 2010
Music as a major component of my personal identity - Common App Short Essay

5 - This is good writing, but it needs a vitamin. It needs some seasoning to spice it up. It basically...

UndergraduateJeffOkala - Sep 12, 2010EF_Kevin - Sep 14, 2010
"prepare me for larger-scale engineering" - Purdue Personal Statement

4 - Obviously ... everything you say in this essay is a statement of the obvious. It shows that you...

Undergraduatehkk - Sep 12, 2010EF_Kevin - Sep 14, 2010
Only Four Sensees; Common App- Topic of Your Choice

4 - Use creativity and enthusiasm to derive meaning from the fact that you lacked this sense. What has become stronger...

Undergraduateacidpop - Sep 12, 2010EF_Kevin - Sep 14, 2010
Football team, people, tradition, excellence: "Why The Ohio State University?"

4 - I think Kevin's got that right. You are writing an essay and its good to be crazy and wacky....

Undergraduatekcoxey - Sep 12, 2010donrocks - Sep 14, 2010
THE CAY, story about one trip in the in Caribbean Sea

8 - thanks a lot a lot...

Writing Feedbackzeed - Sep 2, 2010zeed - Sep 14, 2010
Vires, Artes, Mores: "an unprecedented number of barriers"

4 - Throughout my life I have been faced with an unprecedented number of barriers both extreme and minute.---it's a little...

Undergraduateclaudiacastillo - Sep 12, 2010EF_Kevin - Sep 14, 2010
"self-motivated nature" - Meaningful Event Essay UF

2 - I'm sure they have accomplished more important things than college! When I started high school I was...

Undergraduateonex - Sep 12, 2010EF_Kevin - Sep 14, 2010
"Raised in Canada and my father" - feedback on my approach to a Personal Statement

4 - An important influence on my life who shaped much of who I am today was My father was...

UndergraduateBkite92 - Sep 12, 2010EF_Kevin - Sep 14, 2010
'reevaluation of my life' - Vires, Artes, Mores : Strength, Skill, Character

7 - Stephanie, Now, why don't you re-write the essay with the suggestions that you have received thus far? You...

UndergraduatePenasteph07 - Sep 11, 2010mea505 - Sep 14, 2010
"major in Engineering" - UIUC Essay, motivation to transfer and professional goals

3 - I think this is too dramatic. I would write this: to identify the field I want to enter:...

Undergraduatearchiesz - Sep 11, 2010EF_Kevin - Sep 14, 2010
"trying and learning new things" - Personality Trait

9 - No, you need to fix it a little. All you need to do is mention the words trait and...

Undergraduaterayban11 - Sep 6, 2010EF_Kevin - Sep 14, 2010
Centers, infinity, absurdity--they're exciting

12 - I think that part might have been lost on me... I misunderstood which two unlike things you meant, but...

ScholarshipYayz - Aug 21, 2010EF_Kevin - Sep 14, 2010
Favorite Plays: Importance of Being Earnest & Rosencrantz and Guildenstern are Dead

3 - I think this should be the start of paragraph 3. I see this thing as 2 body...

UndergraduateYayz - Sep 11, 2010EF_Kevin - Sep 14, 2010
"the profession of physical therapy" - PTCAS Graduate Application Essay

4 - The flood lines on the houses, the sprayed paint 'X' on the front door which resembled the number of...

GraduateShannonM10 - Sep 11, 2010EF_Kevin - Sep 14, 2010
Essay on 'Difference between civil life and rural life'

3 - Hello Suvadip. I'm glad you are participating! Start with a sentence... Please write a sentence about rural life....

Essayssuvadip - Sep 11, 2010EF_Kevin - Sep 14, 2010
Ph.D. research topic in HRM

6 - What does your adviser have to say about your choice? Have you Googled the topic yet? You might be...

Dissertationsak10 - Aug 18, 2010mea505 - Sep 14, 2010
Management / HR - Research topic suggestion - Journals, books, and other materials for PhD

7 - Thanks a lot for your suggestion :)...

Dissertationsstudent_123 - Sep 3, 2010student_123 - Sep 14, 2010
Learning from books or from experience ? What is your opinion?

9 - Im assuming the promt for this essay is something like: Is more knowledge gained from reading books or from...

Writing FeedbackTomomi - Aug 25, 2010keberg1 - Sep 14, 2010
Letter of Recommendation to Master Degree in Marketing

5 - Sorry Wipu, I was wrong. "Risk"and "profit" are uncountable nouns. Thank you Kevin for the right sentence....

Lettersscarecrowd - Sep 9, 2010Tomomi - Sep 14, 2010
IELTS-Children should be taught competitive or cooperative.

3 - Hello Kevin. Thanks for your corrections. They are really helpful for my preparation of the test. I...

Graduatefordragon - Sep 5, 2010fordragon - Sep 14, 2010
UCF-Essay about a unique quality or characteristic that I possess

5 - I liked your opening sentence on the first draft better. It is good that you have added personal experience...

Undergraduatesweetnyangie - Sep 4, 2010MarleyWH - Sep 13, 2010
TOEFL - 'Meng Zi Story'; Classmates are a more important influence

4 - Some great corrections have been made here. For example, now you know that the common expression is: In addition...

Writing Feedbackrmli - Sep 11, 2010EF_Kevin - Sep 13, 2010
Lehigh essay: define equity and community and their implications in society.

6 - society would be at a standstill -- I would add that with the attributes, society would not exist; it...

Undergraduatenicmont93 - Sep 9, 2010mea505 - Sep 13, 2010
GRE essay: Laws restrict but not eradicate wrongdoings.

3 - Actually i wrote this essay for the following prompt: It is possible to pass laws that control or...

Writing FeedbackKapayapaanify1 - Sep 11, 2010Kapayapaanify1 - Sep 13, 2010
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