Writing Feedback / Some people say that advertising is extremely successfull at persuading us [3]

The prompt restatement should never include a personal opinion or statement of fact that is not part of the ouginal ffocus. Inclusions such as the first sentence in the first paragraph will result in accuracy deductions. Such declarations are only acceptable as a part of the establishing sentence of the writers opinion. The incorrect sentence placement had a negative effect on the sectional score. That said, a proper presentation of the relevant topics and writers opinion are present which offset the applied deductions a bit.


By whom ? Refer to a source since you are allowed to makeup information anyway. The lack of reference weakened the strength of the explanation.

The writer has a spelling error present that should have been seen and corrected during the editing process. It shows a lack of interest in the quality of writing on the part of the writer. His collective existing mistakes show that he does not care about point deductions that may affect his final score.

Writing Feedback / Whether parents or school should be responsible for unhealthy lifestyle of children [2]

The prompt restatement does not accurately seem up the original discussion points. The mistake in the interpretation was caused by the writer expressing a personal opinion that is not aligned with the prompt. His statement totally changed the discussion topic. That is also the reason why he did not present an extent response as required. The essay has failed to meet the task requirements early on due to these prompt deviations.

The essay will receive non-passing marks in terms of accuracy while only partial scores can be applied to the remaining sections due to a non-compliant discussion presentation. Since the discussion is relevant only to the topic created by the writer, the essay cannot receive a passing score.

Writing Feedback / The proportion of people in five different cities in Australia who consumed coffee and tea [2]

It is important for reporting purposes that the writer treat this as an actual analysis. An accurate analysis never indicates the image position as it is irrelevant to the summary or report presentation. Only the summarized data must be in focus. The first paragraph does not meet the academic paragraph format requirement. It will lose GRA points as it is a run on presentation rather than individual idea presentations that represent scannable and highlightable data. It is a failed summary attempt.

The writer also gives a general identifier for the image rather than a specific image type. The writer is showing that he has not familiarized himself with the assorted specific image presentations. What sort of graph is this? The non-specific identifier will lower the accuracy scores. Analysis requires accurate specifics for reader information and consideration.

A proper enumeration of the involved cities as apart of the overview was missed by the writer, further weakening the validity of the claims made in the report. The writer has not made an effort to present a strong reporting task in this presentation. He has missed several scoring considerations in the?presentation.

Writing Feedback / There are a variety of advantages for pupils to follow the higher learning path after graduation [4]

The basic question that is being asked is with regards to the benefits of a college education. There is a single question asked without establishing points of view or a question of opinion on the part of the writer. Yet, the writer was not able to create a proper restatement + opinion paragraph. He altered the prompt from simple benefits to a major concern. An opinion presentation not found in the original prompt at all. Then, he offered an opinion that did not establish the topic focus for the reasoning paragraphs. There is no actual thesis statement that responds to the question being asked. The first paragraph is inaccurate and cannot receive passing preliminary marks.

He also defines what higher education is in the first reasoning paragraph. An unnecessary presentation that is not related to the original discussion points. Rather than increasing his score, the continued alteration of the discussion will result in additional deductions. It will lower the paragraph score even though the last part of the presentation is relevant to the discussion.

The second paragraph is focused on the correct discussion points but could have been better developed and presented. The reasoning paragraphs lack in proper discussion development and relevance, leading to lower scores in the C+C section.

Based on the summary conclusion presented, it appears that the writer does not have a good understanding of how the concluding summary is to be presented. It is less than the 40 word count, 2 sentence minimum requirement. It does not refer to the original discussion points and fails to properly represent a short form of the discussion presentation.

While the writer shows potential in presenting good reasoning paragraphs. His inability to properly restate the prompt, provide a relevant thesis sentence, and accurately recap the information provided for the conclusion means that he will struggle to receive even a base passing score in an actual test. He must become more familiar with the writing standards for the IELTS test and also, work on his restatement skills.

Writing Feedback / Pros and cons of living or studying in other contries [3]

The writer has combined 2 different prompt discussions in this essay. It cannot be reviewed properly because it does not follow the standard IELTS question and answer essay format. The writer has tried to improve his writing by creating his own prompt requirement. A creation that does not follow IELTS essay question standards. As such, the essay cannot be judged based on the scoring requirements of the rubic. The writer has wasted his time with this presentation because it is not a realistic discussion presentation that will help him pass the test.

It is either he discusses living abroad or studying abroad. These were created as 2 different topic questions because these have 2 different discussion targets. He has also written almost 400 words for an essay that does not need more than 300 words to explain itself. No prompt similar to this will ever be provided during the actual test.

Undergraduate / GKS Personal Statement for Undergraduate (Software Engineering) [3]

There is a problem with the way this prompt is set up. The title indicates that the applicant is seeking admissions as an undergraduate student. However, he presents himself as a masters degree applicant in the actual presentation. This creates a problem for me as a reviewer as the GKS-U and GKS-M application prompts have different focuses and prompt reqiuirements. As such I cannot review the essay based on either prompt considerations.

While the information provided is good, I cannot see how it will apply to the actual application without being certain of what course the person is actually applying to. The writer should correct that reference error first, so that I can create a proper review for this outline of ideas.

This is not an essay in the GKS format for either application. It does not consider the correct prompt requirements for either application. The outline is only going to be useful and editable if the writer clearly understands what course he is actually applying for. I cannot help the applicant at this point.

Writing Feedback / ADVANTAGES AND DISADVANTAGES OF IMMIGRANTS [4]

The original prompt does not indicate the origin or basis of immigrants or multi-cultural societies. This information as provided by the writer created a topic deviation as he even attests to the truthfulness of his claim. Both of which are not part of the original presentation or discussion question. Significant deductions will be applied in relation to restatement accuracy.

With regards to the writer's opinion, the question asked requires the writer to only write 2 paragraphs. One for advantages and another for disadvantages, in no particular order. Nowhere in the original discussion instruction is he asked to agree or disagree with the listing. Additional percentage deductions will be applied to this section since the writer shows a clear misunderstanding of the discussion writing instructions. These 2 errors are indicative of a failing preliminary score.

Now, the reasoning paragraphs align with the expected discussion points and use ample connectors in the presentation. However, these will not be enough to pass the test since the concluding summary introduces a new discussion topic rather than a summarized discussion. The result of which will be a failing overall score due to an open ended presentation.

Letters / E-mail: Request for a recommendation letter for the graduate program [2]

The professor is going to decline your request yet again. The reason will be that you are seemingly dictating what the content of the letter should be. You are not even asking if he remembers you as a student in these classes as you are not his only A- student. What you should be doing is requesting him to recommend you as a participant based upon his memories of you as a student in every class, if he remembers you at all. This is why you must approach an associate professor who actually remembers your class excellence. He must have some sort of personal relationship with you as your professor. A friendship with him would help. The important part here being that he remembers you without prodding.

The letter should be asking if he remembers your performance in his classes. Then inform him of your need for the letter and why you chose him. Tell him or provide him with a copy of the letter of recommendation writing instructions. Then let him formulate the letter for you based on his insight without any influence from you.

Should he instruct you to write the letter yourself, hire a professional writer to come up with it for you. That way you will avoid indicating information that will inform the reviewer that you are recommending yourself, and just had someone sign the letter for you. It would create a question with regards to the truthfulness and validity of the recommendation letter.

Writing Feedback / Essay About Public Health And Increase In Sporting Facilities [2]

The first paragraph shows that the writer is unfamiliar with English word meaning. His misunderstanding of an arena representation and what activities are undertaken at stadiumA forced word usage errors in the paragraph. The second sentence of theparagraph is also a misrepresentation of the alternate discussion point from the orginal. The prompt restatement is not a correct interpretation of the original discussion. As for his personal opinion, it is clear enough when one considers the simple reasoning summary he included at the end. I am just not sure if that will be enough to earn him a passing preliminary base score.

There is no connected discussion presentation in the 2 reasoning paragraphs. The lack of a clear relationship between the reason why less sports facilities are needed in favor of a healthier diet is not clearly explained, The supporting evidence is lacking and weak leading to an underdeveloped reasoning discussion, How does food education and diet relate to healthier people without more exercise facilities in place? That is the connecting idea that would have completed the 2 discussion paragraphs.

The discussion presented lost sight of the central discussion which is whether more sports facilities are needed or not. Note that in the food discussion, a mention of exercise was still made but not properly developed in connection with food education. This was a clear discussion oversight in the presentation. It is not about strategizing but about the effect of building more sports activities venues to improve public health. There is a slight topic deviation here.

Strive for a more complete summary conclusion. Always meet the 40 word, 2 sentence requirement to achieve a higher task score.

Scholarship / An achievement related to my future - the internship role at Amazon as a Security Engineering Intern [2]

You totally missed the point. The idea was to expound on the reasons why you consider your internship at Amazon (capitalized) a meaningful achievement and why the learning and experience from it directed your career goal. What was the internship about? What responsibilities did you have that may lead you to a career working at Amazon in their cybersecurity field? This has nothing to do with the image of Nigerians as well known international con artists that make people fear dealing with them in any way, shape, or form. This is about a career shaping work experience and how it has led you towards a career path. The criminal character of Nigerians as perceived internationally has nothing to do with it. Focus on the merits of your Amazon internship accomplishments instead. There should also be at least 2 notable achievements presented as the prompt requires a plural form of related accomplishments.

Graduate / Describe three things others do not know about you [3]

I am not sure why the writer decided to use clauses in the presentation rather than proper transition sentences. Such formatting would have created a more fried presentation as opposed to this choppy and sudden topic changes. If this exercise is meant for language practice, then all the more the enumeration style of presentation is incorrect. I wish the writer had provided the complete writing instructions so I would have had a better idea as to why this format was used for the presentation.

The first experience does not seem like a secret. Meeting these people of note in a public setting ensures people know about it. This type of prompt is usually related to certain quirks, eccentricities, interests, hobbies, and other activities that can be enjoyed alone. These accomplishments and struggles are more of the public or family knowledge kind. I do not believe that there narrations meet the writing instructions.

Writing Feedback / Ielts task 1: The changes of incident number happened in three areas of crime in Newport city center [2]

An "incident" is too general a reference that does not accurately identify the basis of the analysis. The please that should have been used is "crime incidents" in reference to the acts involved. The writer mistakenly used a ven-on sentence in the summary paragraph. He tried to connect 2 ideas in one sentence. These should have been stand alone sentence presentations as it refers to different topics, though connected to a main discussion point.

The writer shows a tendency to be redundant ashe continously writes "incident" with a very slight variation with "incidents'. Aside from being a grammatical issue, it also reduces the LR score as he proves to only be able to write using memorized words. He shows a degree of limited vocabulary that prevents him from presenting a better sentence structure. A spike in measurement is not inconsiderable.This incorrect word usage, based on word meaning in relation to idea presentation will further lower the LR score as he proves to understand English word meaning. These are but 2 references to the consistent word usage problem in the analysis essay.

He has a problem with sentence structuring as well. He failed to capitalize the first word of a sentence and did not even realize and correct the error. More practice and a conscious effort to proofread his work prior to submission is needed. He should focus on word usage accuracy and correct grammar instead of just writing a long analysis. His vocabulary needs to be accurate at all times.

Writing Feedback / Overpopulation in urban areas leads to a deficit of food, water, space for living and contamination [3]

There are 2 direct questions that are to be the basis of the writer's opinion. The instruction is to provide an overview of 2 related problems and accompanying solutions. The introduction of these answers in the short form help to increase the clarity of the establishing response as it sets the tone for the succeeding discussion paragraphs. The first paragraph is incomplete without it

While the problems presented have a direct relationship, the writer did not successfully connect the 2 topics in the paragraph. There is a lack of cohesive device and transition word/phrase usage in the presentation. The missing links prove to be a scoring problem as it affects the coherence of the paragraph. A connecting reference is required to establish the topic discussion chain in relation to the problems to prove the seriousness of the problem.

With regards to possible solutions, the presentation is also under explained. The examples presented must specifically indicate what or which of the 2 problems it should solve. The 2nd solution could also use more development in terms of how it supports the first solution. The problem is again cohesive and transition device usage.

A complete summary conclusion is also presented. The problems related to overpopulation should have been restated to represent the fist discussion basis. There is no logic to the solutions recap if the problems these solve are not presented as the establishing topics.

Writing Feedback / IELTS Task 1 : the diagram shows the process for recycling plastic bottles [2]

There are 9 steps indicated. There is only 1 major step involved. There is an error in the trending analysis of the writer. The major step is always the halfway mark between the initial step and final product. Review the image again. This is a 3 sentence summary paragraph.

Personal pronouns are unacceptable in a Task 1 essay, This is a general report on a procedure. Objectivity dictates that a personal or group point of view cannot be indicated due to bias concerns. Always use general references and do not include any personal opinion or insight in the presentation.


The plural form of step must be used because there are several procedures indicated in the paragraph. Be aware of proper sentence stucturing and word references.

Writing Feedback / Allowing youngsters to have their own decisions in daily life matters - ielts academic [2]

There can be no aspect of the paraphrasing that is used in a cut and paste manner. The writer must state everything in his own words or risk score reduction based on a partial cut and paste reference. Word alternatives play an important role in the TA and LR scoring considerations. By not changing the parenthetical reference, the writer incurred point deductions in the paragraph presentation. The stated personal opinion is good and strong. but lacks the 2 supporting reasons sentence /s. These are the reasons why awarding of full points will not be possible in this section.

The discussion paragraphs only represent the writer's opinion for both topics. This is an improper approach as it does not properly use the comparative analytical discussion format. The writer must first state the basis for the acceptability of the public opinion via group pronouns,before comparing these to his personal dialagreement with the said point of view. This essay will receive nminimal scoring due to the underdeveloped discussion.

The public perception was not properly represented so scoring will only be applied to the personal opinion, leading to a 1 out of 3 scoring consideration. Discussing the reasons behind the public opinion creates the basis of the personal opinion. Correct pronoun usage is needed.

Writing Feedback / With the enhancement of new technologies, there are a variety of choices available [2]

The writer should not have focused on technology as the basis of his topic restatement. This is because the original prompt did not imply reference point to that effect. It created an altered topic statement that will cause deductions to be applied to that section. Though the opinion presented is relevant to the original statement, the irrelevant discussion point addition cannot be ignored. The lack of a thesis statement to support the opinion is also going to affect the preliminary score. The upcoming discussion topics should have had a summary outline to complete the scoring requirements.

Please note that the essay lost cohesiveness the minute the writing indicated a focus on technology then suddenly moved on to the transport sector without a proper connecting transition. As this topic was not mentioned earlier, it will cause a lowering of the score due to lack of proper connecting and transition words. This is why a general topic focus would have been best.

The concluding summary is less than 2 sentences and 40 words. It is not a proper recap of the discussion. It will score less than expected as well.

The writer understood the question and delivered a focused single - discussion. However, his eifors in the restatement, lack of thesis presentation, incorrect discussion focus, and incomplete summary conclusion worked against his final score.

Writing Feedback / task 1 general training Write an e-mail to the bookshop [2]

The letter cannot make a recommendation for a book speaker without indicating a theme for the event. Since the person being suggested is part of K-Pop, then the theme should be related to Korean entertainment. Otherwise, only legitimate book authors can be recommended.

The guest speakers are invited based on their popularity as a writer. Their established popular books are part of the consideration. The reference to IQ and international speeches delivered do not matter unless it is relevant to the theme and suggestion criteria. There were not mentioned in the letter while it is an important reference for the validity of the suggestion.

The essay shows that the writer knows what he wants to sayin English. He has made great efforts to express himself in English. The problem is that his vocabulary is too limited to allow for clear thought sharing. Due to his word usage problem, he exhibits weak sentence structuring / writing as well. He must focus his review classes on strengthening his grammar skills to improve in these 2 areas where his skills are weakest.

This is a good attempt at letter writing. The writer shows promise and should improve over time with more lessons and regular practice.

Graduate / STATEMENT OF PURPOSE IN ACCOUNTING - admission at Jiangsu University [2]

The statement is quite long and chatty. It provides more generalizations rather than specifics. The reviewer will be most interested in learning about specifics. The writer makes reference to "obvious" things which, in all honesty, is not known and therefore, not obvious to the reviewer.

By implying a desire to develop the diplomatic relationship between the 2 countries, the applicant should provide evidence of such an existing basis in relation to Accountancy. Since this is the field of expertise of the applicant, the reference to how China has helped introduce improvements in the field can help indicate a clear relationship leading to a solid purpose (Possibly government based through a specific diplomatic program or relationship).

The essay sounds hopeful but lacks a solid foundation and believable substance. More specific supporting reasons must accompany the discussion presentation.

Writing Feedback / ielts task 1 : the diagram below shows the manufracturing process for making sugar from sugar cane [2]

The first paragraph sentence contains a redundant process reference. It also uses a conjunction that does not suit the sentence structure as there is no opposing process to speak of in the reference. These are errors that show a greater need to develop the writer's ability to with proper English sentences. While the sentence may read clearly in meaning, grammatical structure errors are evident in the presentation.

The paragraphs are acceptable in cases of informal writing, but not in an academic or formal report presentation. Each paragraph must meet the standard 3-5 sentence requirement to receive proper scoring within 3 sectional considerations. This is achieved by separating the sentence or procedural references into individual sentence presentations.

Writing Feedback / ielts writing task 1 pie charts showing export between The US and Vietnam [2]

The writer inappropriately identifies the comparison images. The inaccuracy lies in the number of images stated and its representative measurements. The overview is confusing to the reader, who cannot see the images as the information content is obviously meant for more than one image. Incorrect reference points have a deduction effect on sectional scoring as it reduces the correctness of the restated reference points. The second sentence in reference to the trend can also use a better sentence structure for clarity sake. Proper use of punctuation marks would have provided that needed format.

A clear identification of the currency type and internationally accepted currency writing format should have been provided. There are several versions of the dollar internationally and businessowners prefer a clear currency reference to guide them. In this case the US dollar should have been used in the following format:

US $ XXX .XX

This is the more widely standardized and accept currency writing method. The current writing style is in the European format which is normally confusing for non-Europeans to read. Since the essay is meant for a general audience, the more commonly used format should be indicated to help avoid reader confusion.

Scholarship / Computer science - Reasons for choosing KAIST [2]

Fold in the reasons why your learning interests can be met only by KAIST. Discuss how the educational system and training programs of the university address your specific learning desires. How does the KAIST system support your professional ambition ? Be more specific about these aspects. Right now the content of the essay is repetitive and lacking in a focused direction. The content is excited without reason. There is a purpose but no specific ambition behind it. I need you to calm down and be more reflective about the guide question responses. Think about the specifics of each question. Outline your responses first. Ensure the responses have considerable merit when read and considered. Write a new essay that actually tries to impress the reviewer because right now, that is not happening.

Writing Feedback / WRITING TASK 2 IELTS: What can be done to prevent people from using their cars? [2]

This is just a simple opinion discussion that should be dealt with quickly but comprehensively.Think of it in terms of a classroom discussion. Professors like it and students get a better score during class recitations where the student manages to quickly explain himself in an accurate manner.The same rules apply to the task 1 essay.

There is no need to overdiscuss since there are several tasks to be accomplished in the essay within 40 minutes. At this length, the writer has not really accomplished much beyond a vocabulary and grammar exercise. While the discussion is on point, it is simply too long and as such, open to accidental presentation errors. He did not completely perform the check and balance tasks either.

The repetition of the discussion question is not score increasing. A direct foundation topic in response to the question was needed to clearly layout the discussion target points. It would have clearly shown the clarity of thought of the author in relation to opinion clarity scoring criteria. Repeated instructions do not meet this requirement.

The conclusion is guilty of using redundant word and please references in the previous paragraphs. This will be assumed to relate to a limited vocabulary on the part of the exam taker, who has limited synonym and paraphrasing skills.

What could have been a truly impressive presentation was held back by oversights on the part of the author. Keeping the essay concise will help fix that tendency on the writer's part.

Writing Feedback / The rising rate of juvenile crimes has become an alarming practice for the public; TASK 2 IELTS [3]

The prompt restatement has become partially inaccurate due to the inclusion of information that is not mentioned in the original presentation. Rather than presenting an accurate restatement of only 2- 3 sentences, the writer created a partially deviant rephrasing with a missing reasoning statement. The writer failed to establish his discussion grounds to provide the clear extent of his partial opinion in a summarized form as needed for this discussion.This opening paragraph will not receive full marks credit due to these reasons.

Both explanations lack full development. There are no examples provided in each instance to convince the reader to consider the points presented. Each reason could use better cohesive devices to better connect the sentence thoughts and paragraph relationships.

Vocabulary misuse is also evident in the writing. A person cannot be renovated and restored. He can be rehabilitated though. Expect IR deductions due to the lack of proper vocabulary usage leading to GRA deductions caused by a lack of proper sentence structuring. Both of which will also reduce the C + C score as the reference lacks clarity and confuses the reader in relation to thought meaning.

The concluding summary does not fulfill the scoring requirements of the reverse paraphrase either. It does not recap the reasons for the writer's given opinion. An important scoring element in this case it does not contain the menemum 40 word requirement either.

Overall, the writer shows evidence of writing ability and comprehension skills but requires development and correction in the aforementioned areas. This essay is a slight improvement over the first attempt that I reviewed.

Undergraduate / Freedom: The Biggest Lie Ever Told To Women/ Non-traditional Student College Personal Essay [3]

The applicant should consider a more personal discussion of how this statement applies to her personally rather than giving the reviewer a social history lecture. Being a non-trad student, I assume that you have already lived a significant part of your life in the U.S., making the current presentation moot. Or is it?

If you can connect gender suppression as you experienced it in India to your gender suppression experience in America, then you can retain the title and create a more personal discussion of the issue, as it spans 2 countries. It would have a more personal connection with the required discussion and will prove to be a truly interesting non-traditional application essay.

This has to be less of a social commentary and more of a personal insight based on personal experience of the problem and accompanying situations on a personal, and yet global scale.

Writing Feedback / There is a school of thought believe that the entry of museums should be free for everyone [2]

The writer has over written this opinion paper. It may not be possible to complete an almost 400 word paper within 40 minutes because of the editing and proofreading that he has to complete to finalize the paper. Even without actually reviewing the content, I already saw uncorrected punctuation usage errors, grammar problems, and misused words in the overall presentation. These cumulative errors should have been spotted and corrected if the writer paid attention to the content rather than length of the essay. There has never been an exam taker who passed the test based on length of writing alone. word count does not countin any sectional scoring consideration. Proper grammar and punctuation usage, clarity of explanation , and thought conciseness heavily factor in the scoring though. These are the factors that the writer ignored when writing this essay and these will be the reason for the low score awarding in the end. Next time concentrate on being brief bbut clear, avoid grammar errors, and stick to short sentence presentations. That is how one passes this test. Quality over quantity above all else.Draft, review, edit, repeat until the time runs out. Perfect the content through brief, clear, discussions.

Letters / Ielts writing task 1: A response to a complaint of your neighbors about the noise from your house. [2]

The letter is using an inapplicable scenario. The prompt indicates that the noise problem must be a current problem that the writer is addressing. What was written was a letter regarding a previous noise problem instead. Therefore, the letter does not meet the writing requirements as outlined. There is no future possibility because the letter should have been written in present time reference. The writer clearly misunderstood the writing requirements and instructions. The examiner will assess the writer based on weak English comprehension skills. The incorrect response format will receive a failing TA score. This will be the score because the letter, though prompt compliant to a great extent, was written based on the wrong time frame.

Undergraduate / Science Exhibition: the life changer [3]

I am not sure what the purpose of writing this essay is. Since there is no prompt provided and the title used is not self- explanatory, it will be difficult to review this essay in terms of response and narration validity. While difficult, it is not impossible to provide a simple review of the essay. That is what I shall be providing to the poster. Use it as you will.

Provide a better reading format for the reader. Use paragraphs to seperate the topics based on the need for an introduction, body, and closing statement / conclusion. It is difficult to read and remember the content of the writing without it.

The backstory pertaining to the development of interest in Physics needs more focus. The reality is that the previous character of the writer and how this changing interest improved him is unclear. The writing is choppy in that aspect. The essay is basically composed of i'll developed draft topics and a rushed presentation. None of which are beneficial to the current version. It would be best to take these ideas and redevelop them into a more informative presentation based on the provided prompt.

Graduate / Statement of Purpose - Masters in Renewable energy [2]

The writer has provided a motivational letter rather than a statement of purpose. These 2 are often interchanged by the applicants due to some similar content but differing discussion focus. The presentation is too brief and does not offer enough qualifiers for applicant consideration.

The educational background must include examples of the academic success of the student. Academic accolades along with evidence of relevant course completions that relate to the masters course can help convince the reviewer that the person has a relevant academic foundation that will help him complete the course.

Explaining how a professional background in sales relates to this masters course is a must. Based upon what I have read, there appears to be a disconnection between the current profession and the masters degree. Proving a corelation should resolve that.

The projected career path must be better presented. An overview will not suffice in this case as a statement of purpose must clearly explain how the student sees the studies will result in eventual career progression. Focusing on relevant current career experiences is a must to achieve this. How does one plan to get from point A to point E based upon the understanding of the course applicability ? A more thorough statement must be developed to present a stronger purpose.

Writing Feedback / IELTS task 1: The diagrams give information about changes in a student accommodation. [2]

It will do the writer well to remember that this is an interpretative essay based on provided information from a given image. The interpretation should be clear enough to the reader without having to refer to the image. The writer who asks the reader to refer to the given image will automatically lose points as he is seen as unable to properly reconstruct the image based on data reporting. The reference to a glance at the image was done twice in this essay. So the writer can expect to receive deductions for that reference. It will be minimal but still, a deduction is a deduction that will affect the final score.

When referring to directions, the term used should be "area" or "location" instead of "one" since that is not a numerical reference but rather, a location marker. Wrong word references will also cause deductions in the LR score, specially when it is used incorrectly in the sentence.

The explanatiion is pretty much acceptable, but problematic in presentation format and word usage. These are areas where the writer can easily improve his scores in based on the growth of his English vocabulary and his ability to remember that he is reconstructing an image for the reader, who has no access to the image at that point.

Writing Feedback / The table and bar chart show how journey times in a city centre changed after improvement [7]

Since this is a 2 image report, the writer should have used the 4 paragraph reporting format composed of:

Summary overview + 2 trending statements (one for each image)
3 Reporting and comparison paragraphs

There are 3 reporting paragraph because the paragraphs should be composed of:

Image 1 reporting paragraph
Image 2 reporting paragraph
Comparison of information paragraph

The writer has not completely analyzed the images in the manner that would have showed a thorough study of the data and comparison of information. While he did an accurate job of reporting the information from each image in their respective body paragraph, he did not offer a proper analysis of the image based on contrasting observations of the two images when compared side by side.

Writing Feedback / IELTS Task 2 - Should governments control newly constructed buildings? [2]

The prompt restatement was off to an illogical opening sentence. It showed a lack of proper sentence formation on the part of the writer who struggled to make the topic sentence understood. After that, he reverted to using an all too similar representation of the original prompt, to the point where it may be seen as a mere cut and paste of the original. From there, he failed to represent a clear opinion of the topic within the prompt restatement + writer's opinion paragraph. That paragraph will result in a failing TA score. Meaning the essay will have already failed, even before he started presenting his opinion paragraphs.

When the essay has a "Discuss both views and give your opinion" requirement, the writer is expected to represent 3 points of view in each paragraph. The format for the paragraph asks him to write an explanation of why the public opinion is correct, by correctly using the representative pronouns throughout. That means, use third person group pronouns for the explanation of the public opinion then, using first person pronouns in the same paragraph to show his dis/agreement with the presentation. The essay cannot, as the writer has currently presented, be addressed solely from the personal opinion of the writer.

The essay will fail due to the non-compliant discussion format. The concluding summary is missing from the essay since the writer used the conclusion to discuss his personal opinion. This created an open ended essay which will result in an automatic failing score. The lack of a proper summarized discussion is pivotal to the overall scoring process as it partners with the score of the prompt restatement + writer's opinion found at the beginning of the presentation.

Writing Feedback / Does punishment is necessary for children? [3]

The writer has several errors in this essay that need to be addressed. He has tried his best to present an educated and logical discussion regarding the topic but, he has not adhered to the formatting requirements for the response. Without proper addressing of the questions, the logic of his essay will not meet the task accuracy requirements.

A task 2 essay first paragraph is composed of the prompt restatement and personal opinion. That means, the paragraph should be composed of 3-5 sentences that present the writer's understanding of the topic. A basic representation of the discussion is required, but not a personal opinion at the start. The paraphrase should not indicate the writer's opinion in the first sentence. This must be properly blended into his opinion sentence via the correct reasoning thesis. When the writer presents an opinion at the start, he automatically circumvents the original topic foundation, leading to a prompt restatement inaccuracy and lower paragraph score.

The writer's statement should not merely repeat the instructions and questions provided. Instead, he is expected to represent the full discussion paragraph presentations through a shortened or summarized opinion + thesis statement. The clarity of his opinion and the reasoning behind it will be scored in this section. Therefore, restating the instructions will mean he will not receive any points for that part of the paragraph. An opinion response without a direct question resonponse = Partial score for the writer's opinion.

The phrases "On the one hand" and "On the other hand" are used only when discussing comparisons of the same topic, based on 2 different points of view. Since the writer is responding to 2 different questions in each paragraph, the phrases cannot be used as a cohesive tool. The essay is faulty when it comes to cohesive paragraph presentation because of this error.

Scholarship / Statement of purpose for Masters degree in Dental Technology [2]

The essay is difficult to understand for the most part because of the applicant's lack of control over English word usage and sentence structuring. Several of the paragraph presentations feel directionless and meaningless in presentation. Perhaps the writer is using transliteration for writing, which created the overall confusing presentation. He needs to seek professional editing help to fix those problems in the presentation. Prior to that, there are some steps the writer can take to try and create a clearer and more understandable presentation.

He can remove the reference to his friend in the essay. As a professional with several years of experience, his purpose should focus on the improvement needs of the field in Nigeria. So he should focus on better explaining the first paragraph instead. He should also focus on creating a more believable reason for his interest in advanced learning that does not sound like he just cut and paste a course description from a website. Should be accomplish these 2 changes, a professional editor should beable to help him revise the presentation into amore coherent and logical presentation.

Writing Feedback / IELTS. The table below shows information about travelling to work in one US city. [3]

The task 1 essay should not be more than 175-200 words.That is because of the final editing and rewriting requirements that must be completed within 40 minutes. The presentation only needs a 3 paragraph presentation. The writer has over extended his writing for no reason. The shorter and more concise the writing , the better the overall scoring prospects in the end.

The summary overview is not complete as a presentation. Shortened references to the types of transportation as listed in the table are missing, creating a confusing trending statement for the reader. There should also be a measurement type indicated somewhere in this mention. The summary could have been better presented in this instance.

Assume that the reader cannot see the image. Refrain from asking them to look at the image Your summary report should be able to present an imaginable report based on an accurate and descriptive data presentation.

Writing Feedback / Write about a famous person you like. Who is this person? What is this person's job? Why do you like [2]

The writer did write about admiration and the reasons for it in the essay. While his basis for writing is on point, the subject/ topic of his discussion is incorrect. The writing instruction called for an explanation related to a person (singular) that he admires.

He wrote about a group of people (plural) instead. He did not write the description based on the target subject. He wrote about why he admires the group rather than a person. Had he mentioned a specific person from the group, he would have met the descriptive requirements for the essay.

These are the reasons why the essay cannot be considered prompt responsive even though most of the information presented responds to the question list. It cannot pass when the main discussion requirementis not met.

Writing Feedback / Spending too much time in shopping centres could be detrimental for young adults [2]

Though this is an extent essay, it does not allow the writer to both agree anddisagree with the topic presented. That is because the given discussion does not use the balanced comparative reasoning presentation. The 2 reasoning paragraphs still need to support a single opinion point of view. As such, the task will get minimal accuracy scoring as it does not state a clear opinion based on the required discussion format. The overall essay will also receive less scoring considerations because of the incorrect response presentation. The writer must have a clear single opinion right from the start1 discussed over 2 supporting paragraphs of valid supporting reasons. Try to avoid the memorized phrase " To a certain extent I" because it is only a placeholder that should be replaced with an emotional descriptive response. The writer tried to write a well scoring essay that was held back by the incorrect response format. He must familiarize himself with the various correct discussion format per question to achieve this full scoring marks.

Writing Feedback / A nation can be both prosperous and able to protect environment [2]

The prompt restatement is faulty for 2 reasons :

1. The topic rewording, based on the understanding of the author is missing in totality.
2. The writer used the "certain extent" properly as a measured reference point, but does not use a correct supporting statement. The use of the terms "However" and "I think" is inappropriate in this case as it appears to change the discussion and reasoning slant It should have been more properly integrated in the extent response to show that this is where his disagreement with the statement starts. Had the aforementioned words not been used, the "certain extent" reference would have been properly met.

The writer will not be scored based on his comparative discussion as this is a single opinion defense essay. 2 supporting reasons for the given opinion are required. Partial scoring will apply only to the limited or relevant reasoning paragraph that lends credence to the previously stated opinion.

Writing Feedback / Science of food in school and ways to prepare it, or more significant subjects? [2]

The expectation for the paragraphs is that the writer should present at least 3 sentences in it, specially in the replacement + personal opinion section. That is because every sentence is expected to represent 1 idea each. While the first paragraph presentation is acceptable, it does not meet the sentence format requirementso the task score will he limited for that section.The lack of opinion thesis topics after the opinion response also added to the deductions for this section.

There isa lack of public opinion discussion in the presentation. The required GRA presentations are not seen in the overall discussion. These missing elements indicates that the writer wrote from a personal opinion viewpoint alone. Rather than being scored based on 3 discussion related scoring criteria, the presentation will be scored based on only 1. It may not be enough to receive a passing score since not all the discussions presented are relevant to the original topic. The writer wrote selectively instead of addressing all of the prompt topics.

Letters / Becoming an entrepreneur in the software industry; Motivation Letter for foreign university [2]

The opening statement is acceptable for the most part. However, I am confused as to whether you are applying for acceptance to a computer software related or entrepreneurship course. That should be made clear at the start of the paragraph since that will kick off the motivational foundation of the letter.

There are too many blank fields in the presentation for me to assess how these mentions affect the overall motivational content. I cannot decipher if these need improvement or, if these can be totally skipped in the presentation. Too much protecting of the non-sensitive information in this case did not help me when it came to reviewing the content of the letter. So I cannot go further with the review because I have no idea what I am supposed to be reviewing. Maybe you would prefer to consult with me privately instead for this essay so that you can have the full essay, with complete information reviewed? I cannot help you beyond this point within the free service offering.

Letters / Academic (LOR) Letter of recommendation for MS in Civil Engineering [2]

It is good but could be more informative. The first paragraph is taken as the opportunity for the recommendee to introduce himself as an authority to the reviewer. He must lay out his credentials as a professional to give credence to his observations of you as a student and potential professional. His years active as a teacher, and the length of time he has known you must be indicated clearly in the introduction. As he is a previous contact of yours, he must also explain how he has remained in contact with you all these years to help explain why he can still be considered an authority when it comes to recommending you. Remember, the gap between your last contact with him and his recommendation cannot be more than 5 years. The opening paragraph can be modified to suit these requirements.