Writing Feedback / IELTS TASK 1; Britons fast food [4]

The chart below shows the amount of money per week spent on fast foods in Britain. The graph shows the trends in consumption of fast foods. Write a report for a university lecturer describing the information shown below.

The bar chart shows the changes in weekly spending by Britons on three types of keen on foods: Hamburger, Fish & Chips and Pizza, while the line graph presents the fast-food consumption during a period of 20 years, between 1970 and 1990.

According to the data, high-income and average people are likely to consume Hamburger, presented over forty-two pence per week. However, In the case of low-income people, the expenditure on Pizza as favorable food is 8 pence.

A more detailed look at the line graph shows both Hamburgers and Pizza rose steady from the first ten-period, where Hamburger had over twice as high as Pizza recording 270 grammes while Fish and Chips declined slightly from 300 to nearly 200 grammes. In contrast to the two types of fast food, by 1985 Fish and Chips remained reasonable steady, and continued to rise slightly to 270 grammes towards the end of the period.

If we analyze the data, we can see from the first graph Hamburgers were approximately two times popular than Pizza which was slightly greater than Fish and Chips. In the second graph, Hamburgers again lead Pizza which was slightly larger than Fish and Chips which were the reserve in over 20 years.

Writing Feedback / IELTS Writing Task 1: First Year Assessments [3]

Complete the gaps in the summary below of this graph using a comparative or superlative form of the words in brackets.
The given is the chart comparing the percentage of student in-depth quality from different disciplines in the first year assessment during 4 years, between 2008 and 2012.

Overall, the highest number of Computer Science passed by far the highest in both years. Thus the gap between Computer Science and Humanities had overlooked extremely wide.

Let us take a close look at the table. Computer Science leads the percentages over 70% and 80% in 2008 and 2012, while Math and Engineering reached the second highest scores in 2012. On the other hand, the Health Science experienced the most stable pass rates at just over 40% in 2008 or 2012.

The most marked for studying Business, 2008 pass rates in Business, Science, and Maths and Engineering were substantially lower in 2008 than in 2012, which means that the greatest level of growth rate tend to these disciplines better than Humanities which stands at just under 10% in 2008 and approximately 20% in 2012.

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Writing Feedback / IELTS Writing Task 2: Information Technology in Human's Life [7]

Information technology is changing many aspects of our lives and now dominates our home, leisure and work activities. To what extent do the benefits of information technology outweigh the disadvantages?

Throughout 21st century, the advance technology has raised people custom globally. As a result, the range of activities which are using technology as a means of communication has existed everywhere. Without further ado, let's discuss this issue.

According to the communication statistic, means of communication: smart phone, computer and internet connection are the favorable things in society recently. It is because information technology appears a helper device in human activities to keep it updated. As such, the merits of the scheme outweigh the demerits.

Some people have been using computer to help their daily works, and they could be worked it faster than old fashion. For example, the owner who has a restaurant needs to calculate income and his expenditure per day. Calculating with handwriting everyday will spend a lot of time, but counting by computer only takes a short time. However, it means the owner has to spending some money to buy computer, then learn its update knowledge to work with.

In long term, numbers of people are likely to be curious about how to use computer or smart phone because its popularity which could help also entertains in many aspects: school, office, friendship, or society. But without doubt, people have been time-consuming in front of computer or gadget recently, and it successes providing a trigger of unhealthy custom, because people will forget to work out.

There are the merits of using technology in school and workplace. The internet is an invaluable resource and experience for students all of ages, and internet provides ability to reach a very long distance. Those abilities able to reduce must time which should be prepared to do calculating, sending a letter, or delivery order. With only one click in computer or smart phone combined with internet connection anything could be done in time.

Clearly, while these drawbacks: "spending money" and "time-consuming" could increase human problem of health such as overweight, but we cannot achieve satisfaction result without computer, internet connection or gadget doing a part to finish some complicated jobs in daily activity. I deliberated that prior way and time using of technology could decrease demerits.

Writing Feedback / IELTS Writing Task 2: the benefits of technologies mobility outweigh the disadvantage [5]

Information technology enables many people to do their work outside their workplace (e.g at home, when traveling, etc)
Do the benefits of this mobility outweigh the disadvantage?
According to Stave Jobs, the head of Apple Inc, from the last century, Apple had successes in the beginning of technology inventions which had begun from computer, mobile phone and internet connection. Apple said that to fulfill their customer request of their technology, they should have a great market around the world. Not surprisingly, new innovation which equates with individual enjoyment boosts new custom in human life. But, is there any demerit of this new custom? Without further ado, let us delve into this issue.

Admittedly, people have been high improvement of life quality since technology influenced human's lifestyle. Some complicated works could be done in a short time because of technology. Not only time but also range is one of the easiest things to reach by internet connection. Distance has been a remarkable thing of internet.

Internet connection has been well-known of its range flexibility. Nowadays, students could reveal theories freely, and they also could do long distance learning by using internet. For students, internet takes a huge part to help them learning much, and it is an economically thing to get.

Moreover, worker or entrepreneur also feels the same way. They could do some complicated calculation, meeting, monitoring, or playing game together from different place because of internet. It is because internet provides ability to reach a very long distance. No matter where they are, whatever they do, as long as there is an internet connection and technology devices, people could finish works easily. However, this perfect quality also could reduce the quality of family or friendship.

Clearly, indeed people spend much time to do plenty things from internet, but I believe that technology made our lives easier, and it changes our attitude towards life. I also think with the invention of computers people became closer and friendlier. I deliberate that managing time to meet face-to-face should do to recover relationship sometime.

Writing Feedback / IELTS Writing Task 2: Non-exam subject that should be compulsory in curriculum [2]

Some educationalists argue that non-exam, art-based subjects, such as music, drama, art and craft, should be compulsory in the secondary-school curriculum. They believe that activities such as these can improve overall academic performance.

To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Nowadays many educationalists come with their new research on art influence in student academic improvement. Some say the compulsory subjects should not only depend on science and language but also arts might hold in these considerations to improve student academic performance. While it is true, I tend to argue there more likely to consider the reserve.

Obviously, school has been ruled to represent in compulsory subjects; language and science, and it is main subjects which should be taken examination in secondary school. However, there are some additional curriculum which are used to stimulate student activity such art, music, drama and craft.

Generally, language and science have a longer schedule than additional subjects, but most of students are prefer to do subjects that they are good at. Moreover, researchers believe that additional skill could encourage student interesting to improve their academic performance.

It is true that commonly, students are pleasure to do art or drama for a long time in school, because that subject might be their hobby or talent. Doing art or drama will attract their attention because they can play it together with other friends, and they could do experiment on their hobbies. But to do these subjects, school should prepare more time, and it means student will not focus on their main subject.

Accordingly, educationalists think that making additional subject to be compulsory subject is a must. I think it could be possible because improving talent in someone life could bring much exercise in their talent and it is better than only knowing a general knowledge.

Writing Feedback / IELTS Writing Task 2: People with Certain Talent VS Not Having a Certain Talent [4]

It is generally believed that some people are born with certain talents, for instance for sport or music, and others are not. However, it is sometimes claimed that any child can be taught to become a good sports person or musician. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

According to researchers, innate ability is unique in every person. While some people believe that practice can be worked as well as natural ability, I think there are further explanations for this issue.

Generally, innate ability: sport, music or art has known as a specific talent in someone since they were born. Sometimes, we can see that some people who have innate ability do not need to take a lot of practice to be major with their abilities. For instance, Cristiano Ronaldo, a Portuguese footballer who plays football from a young child, has sport talent which could win easily in competitions. However, although Cristian Ronaldo is a role model of his ability, he said that he also should often do training.

On the other hand, there is a quote said "perfect practice makes perfect result" which means although someone does not that specific talent, he also could a satisfied effort on something he learned. For example: a Korean pianist, Lee Hee-ah, has only two fingers on each hand. When she was in early age, she did not any talent of playing piano, but her parent support made her doing a lot practice, then she become a masterpiece of piano. From Lee Hee-ah, I believe that learning a special subject could result a masterpiece.

Admittedly, I agree that some of the success and popular people are well-known because of their talent and creations. However, I believe that there are plenty ways to achieve a satisfied effort. Not only efforts but also success in life is possible.

Writing Feedback / IELTS Writing Task 2: Need help to find out appropriate introductions [7]

Today, the high sales of popular consumer goods reflect the power of advertising and not the real need of the society in which they are sold. To what extent do you agree or disagree?Advertising industry has its remarkable success in society all around the world with their influence of products which might have no essential use recently. While some people think this statement is true, I would consider other reasons with this issue.

Successful sports professional can earn a great deal more money than people in other important professions. Some people think this is fully justified while others think it is unfair. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.According to researchers, the popular athlete's income has greater range than important professions. While some people think this is not an equal way, I think there are some reasons should be seen further with this issue.

In some countries, it is common for woman to find a job when their children are young. What are the advantages and disadvantages?Life would be extremely costly to set up. This view makes mothers tend to go to work when their children are in childhood. While some people believe that this is a common view, I think there are the merits and the demerits should be seen further.

Writing Feedback / IELTS: 'possibility of healthy man is higher than woman' - Fitness Membership [3]

The chart prevents the comparison between male and female fitness member in a period of 30 years from 1970 to 2000.

Overall, male membership leads all proportion numbers, and it can be seen that a number of man often go to fitness more often than woman.

A more detailed reveals that man attending of fitness is the highest rate in 1995 at 5000 membership, and it followed in 1975 and 1970 which are twice larger than woman membership. In 1970, woman had slight improvement (1000) where man got 2000 membership, and woman rate in 1975 reached 2000 where the opponent got double member. However, in the last year, man could not come as the highest, but it vice versa which got only 1000 and the opponent leaded double.

In 1990 tends the most stable proportion between male and female member which reached almost same rate approximately 2000 membership

Based on the graph, I conclude that the possibility of healthy man is higher than woman.

P.S. This writing is made in 20 minutes.

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Writing Feedback / IELTS Writing Task 2: Arithmetic vs Calculator for student [5]

Some people believe that electronics should not be allowed in school until after the pupils have mastered mental arithmetic. Others believe that calculators save pupils time, especially with complicated calculations. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Indeed, nowadays counting is not a complicated thing to do, because technology has provided electronic way which is called calculator. While some people believe that calculator could help children's study, is it a helpful thing for a student in the school? I believe there are some benefit or drawbacks which are needed to see further.

Generally, calculator is human's best friend. This device could solve calculation faster than manual fashion by using machine which has formula. That is why students also tend to bring calculator to school to help them in arithmetic or mathematics subject. Some schools believe that calculator is modern fashion which has a helpful formula to do student task. However, I believe this is not a good thing to use, because students will attract them to be a lazy pupil, and this tool could influence them to have no curiosity to do exercise and homework.

Obviously, learning arithmetic is needed. This is because when a student could master the arithmetic, they could be smart people in basic calculation which could create a new formula which could be implemented in technology. Moreover, I think because final exam or national examination is forbidden to bring, so it is good for student to study and practice more arithmetic further, then they could pass the final or improve academic performance.

In conclusion, I presume that although calculator is a helpful thing for student, but it is not appropriate to be used in school, and it is better to enhance arithmetic further. I also think that arithmetic also could be a challenge for a student to be more creative.

P.S. wrote in 40 minutes.

Writing Feedback / IELTS Writing Task 2: British's Pollution due to use of cars [5]

The first car appeared on British roads in 1888. By the year 2000 there may be as many as 29 million vehicles on British roads.
Alternative forms of transport should be encouraged and international laws introduced to control car ownership and use
To what extent do you agree or disagree?
The invention of a car in Briton had arguably one of the popular news in1888. Some experts found that car is a simply tool which could bring human and their stuff in a time to go easily to destination. It is inevitable that Briton's request of car had grown 29 million and its pollution since the appearance in society. While some researchers believe that there is alternate forms to reduce the pollution, I think international laws is a preference way to find the solving problem

As the matter of fact, nowadays, inhabitants have at least one car in a family. A car is believed a tool which could bring someone fast to a destination, and it is good to have a car because human is provided by a comfort and private seat. The general view has shown that a car is one of the Briton's basic needs, because it could deliver them to school, work and market and so on. Especially in working hours Briton's road packed with the cars.

Interestingly, Inhabitants also believe that their cars influence vehicles which is followed some matters; traffic and health, and it is urgent to find solving problem for in their environment. Britons presume that their government should build suitable solution for their environment. Thus, British government found that alternative means of transport is needed. Buses, train, tram, for instance, are the possible means to be a problem solving to reduce the pollution and traffic. However, the government should spend a lot of spending to build these infrastructures, and also this maintenance needs a long-term to succeed.

Having said that alternative means are expensive, researchers think that international law could encourage decreasing of car using. The government should forbid more than one car ownership in a house or Briton should pay fine as much as their car price to government. So this decision will reduce private transport using included the vehicle problem.

As far as I am concerned, international rule is an urgent to control British pollution. This means government could arrange a long-term plan to cover other means for inhabitants. I believe that Britons themselves should involve their environment problems.

Writing Feedback / Children appearance of working in a company is a big deal nowadays for some countries. [2]

In many countries, children are engaged in some kind of paid work. Some people regard this as completely wrong while others consider it as valuable work experience. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Children appearance of working in a company is a big deal nowadays for some countries. While it is considered a mistaken for some people, I completely disagree due to some valuable reasons.

Employing children is illegal for some countries. Developed countries such as America refuse to allow children in the working place. The governments think that this time children should learn things valuable in the school. Educative plays, studies and basic skills in the school are better stimulation for children to prepare them to have bright future than getting early experience in the working place. However, I believe that having a job can help children to develop self-discipline.

The major thing of having a job to children is because they are starting to experience themselves to manage both time and self-reliance. When children are growing with practised discipline of time especially confident way, than the possibility to have better future is also improved. It is happened to me, when I was 15, I could buy things I adored, and some for parents. At that age, I had understood how to allocate money also I knew appropriately how to respect parents due to experiences of making money difficulties while some friends missed these points.

In conclusion, it is reasonable if some countries consider that working children in order to making money tends to be a mistaken way. However, I believe when we are asking personally to children, they would think positively that getting work experience in their ages is a movement towards better future.

Writing Feedback / Societies argue that people using drugs are better being jailed than delivering them to the rehab. [3]

Should drug addicts be jailed or rehabilitated? Discuss both views and give...

Societies argue that people using drug is better getting jailed than delivering them to the rehab. While this tends to be a solution to drug addicts, I believe that it is better to approach them to recover into rehabilitation than punish into prison for this time.

There is a common view that delivering an addictive person to prison means keeping society from harmful things. This is because using drug could advance to unconscious condition,and it is possible to produce several obsession going to death. When drug user is in this situation, the possibility to harm themselves or people surround is inevitably increase. In reverse, I believe that addicting of drug is a pattern of unhealthy condition and it is not a crime. I think jailing does not the answer for saving drug user.

Compared to be jailed, getting addicts to rehabilitation might be an optional. Rehabilitation has some stimulation to recover addictive person. Set of specific medications and arranged activities in rehabilitation have been studied and trained and it is proven society for the hope of normal life, and it is believable treatment nowadays. I believe that giving another chance to have normal life is naturally meaningful as a person within society.

In conclusion, although harmful behaviour among addictive people seem to be serious problem in society, but I believe that healing and giving them opportunity to have better life is recommended way. I am likely to recommend government to take part to acknowledge citizen that recovering drug user might bring merits to family and especially to every personal life.