Writing Feedback / IELTS Task 2 : Talented Shows on TV, Are They Good Method or Just Entertainment? [3]

Televised talent shows have become popular in many societies today.

Are these shows a good method of finding talented people, or are they just entertainment?

Give reasons for your answers and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

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Nowadays, many television programs are searching for talented people and the programs have been famous in many communities. Lots of human beings believe that the shows are a better way of looking for talented people, whereas some think that they just entertain the society. This essay will discuss both points of view.

With regard to the talented show programs, most man kinds think that it is a good method of searching gifted individuals, because sometimes the programs take the candidate from street singers and musicians. The program can dignify many street performers and make them popular. For example, a boy band from America, One Direction, has become popular in many societies in the world from X-Factor which one of the talented show program in America.

However, many believe that they just entertain mankind and profitably the television. For example, when the television perform the talented shows, the television will perform many advertisements on its program. So I think, the inhabitants are just an object of television's commercial. Then, another reason why it just for entertaining people, most of the talented shows do not include an education for adult or children, they just focus on their rating and profit, but they ignore the precious value for persons. In my view, it is useless for human beings.

To sum up, although some people argue that televised talent shows are a good method of finding talented people, I would argue they are just entertainment programs and there is no precious and educational value for communities and children. I think the programs just to commerce for TV stations.

Writing Feedback / IELTS Task 2 : The Effects of Tourism and How to Reduce Negative Impacts of It [2]

Some people say that tourism has many negative effects on the countries that people travel to.
How true is this statement? What can tourists do to reduce the harmful effects of tourism on local cultures and environments?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own experience.

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Several people believe that travel agent may affect a lot of negative impacts to the place where is the destination of tourists. This essay will examine how tourism can affect the countries that is the destination of people and discuss some possible solutions to decrease the drawbacks on that practises and surroundings. However, I think the tourism will bring more positive effects than negative impacts.

The predominant factors resulting in negative effect of the countries which is travel destination of tourist is littering of the environment in local place. For example, cruise ships in Carribean Sea is estimated waste more than 70,000 tons of waste. The solid waste and littering can influence and cause the death of marine animals and also they can degrade the appearance of the land. Another reason for the local place is being noisy and causing air pollution. The transportation in tourism may affect the city to be more crowded and because of an exhaust gas of the vehicle.

In contrast, there are also many positive effects of many tourisms in local place. Firstly, the tourism will increase the income of local people, so it will be one of the advantage for them. And another reason is the tourism will pay the tax to local government and it will brings a benefit for building and improving their area. Then, it may become their merit because the inhabitants can learn many languages for foreign people who come in.

Nevertheless, there are potential ways to solve the problems, or at least reduce the negative impacts. To begin, the tourist have to pay the tax to the government of tourist destination and the government will employee cleaning service in every tourist destination. Next, every tourist should use friendly environment vehicle, so it can reduce air pollution and the noise of the vehicle.

To conclude, although tourism brings negative impacts to local inhabitants, there are steps that governments and individuals can take to reduce the effects. If the people want to travel to somewhere new, they have to be responsible of its environment.

Writing Feedback / Which is More Important, Building an Impressive Buildings or Improving Inhabitant's Facilities? [3]

Some people think that large, impressive buildings are important for a city. Others believe that the money should be spent on improving schools and hospitals.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

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Several humans believe that a great and amazing structures are necessary for every town. Whereas other argue that it is more important to spend more money for building an educational facilities and health facilities. This essay will discuss both points of view. But in my opinion, it is more useful to spend money for improving schools and hospitals.

Related to large and impressive building for a city, I think it is important to build it in a city, because the building can attract many tourists to go to that city, and also it will bring a lot of benefits for the city. For example, Burj Khalifa, the highest building in the world, can catch many individuals to attend it and talk about it in every region. Then, an unique building always become a landmark of the town, it can be an icon to advertise anything in the town.

However, I do not argue that these argument is more useful than improving schools and hospitals. The first reason is that it will be more beneficial, because if we build or improve schools, it will increase the quality of education and also if we fix the health facilities, it can make inhabitant more healthier. Then, improving school and hospitals can show that the country or the city resposible to its population and its future. Because a good education will bring a good human resource which will develop the city. Therefore, again, building an educational and health facilities are better than impressive construction.

To conclude, despite some mankinds believe that building a big and unusual structure is important to the urban, I would argue that there are sufficient motivations to fix up educational and health facilities for a better future and more useful for every local people.

Writing Feedback / Moving to a New Place or Just Staying in One Favorite Place? The first option is more exciting. [2]

In the past, people usually stayed in one place throughout their life. These days, people often move around. They often live in several different places in their lifetime.

What are the advantages and disadvantages of both?

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In the bygone era, inhabitant always lived in the same area during their existence. Nowadays, they frequently immigrate to another place and occupy in some distinct locations in their living. However, these are concern that these have merit effects. In my opinion, the benefits are greater than the drawbacks we receive.

Some populations believe that moving to the new place brings a bad impact to them. To begin, there is a lot of stress when citizens have planned to move to your new house. They have to pack all of their stuffs and goods. Fortunately, nowadays, there are so many hired moving services to help people move all of their stuffs to their new house. Then, for the individuals who cannot adapt easily to the new neighborhood and they are too shy to meet new neighbor, it will be a serious problem for them. Next, before inhabitant move, they have to clean all of the parts of their old house, I think it is a complicated matter to do. So, it will make people tired and dizzy.

However, there are also several reasons why people move to the different areas during their lifetime and they believe there are more benefits for human being. Firstly, a new home, new place, and new athmosphere bring new opportunities and new spirit for individual. Citizens can leave their problems and get away from it, so they can refresh their mind. In addition, when mankinds move to the new region, they will meet new relation, so it is good for them to catch new challenge for a better life. Moreover, for example, when they move to the another country, they will face new culture, foreign language, and learn about foreign tradition, it will be good for their experience and improve their knowledge.

To conclude, despite there are any disadvantages of moving to the new place, I argue that the advantages of living in a different area are more pleasure than staying in the same place. Also, the citizens are not bored with the similiar situation.

Writing Feedback / The necessary need in our daily activities - The Internet Can Change People's Life [NEW]

The internet is probably the most significant invention of the last 30 years. Without it, our lives would be completely different.
To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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Nowadays, the using of internet are predicted that it will be the important creation over 30 years. Some people believe, if the internet has never created, a different life would occupy their lifetime. In this essay, I argue that I totally agree that the using of internet is changing our life and would be the necessary need in our daily activities.

A number of mankind, especially for the elderly, consider that internet has not changed their existence and also it is not an important thing for their daily necessities. Most of them are an "untech person", so they are lazy to learn about renewable technologies and how to use it. They do not care whether the internet exists or not. In additional, an aged people think that if they need something from internet, they will ask their children to help them. In result, the changing of life which causes by internet depends on their need and importance.

In other hand, several citizens say that without internet, people cannot do anything. In these day, the need of internet is very important for some individuals. Because internet can connect people to the others in every time. In the past, if employees want to send their document, they have to send their document by courier or post, but today they can use an e-mail easily to send their. They only have to have internet connection in their office or home. Then, for the students, they can access many journals and papers easily from another country or another college, so it evidence that internet can change individual's way of life.

To conclude, the effects of internet invention of human's life depend on the necessities in every individual. However, I would argue that internet may affect citizen's life because it can simplify the work of every worker and also can help students to search their lesson for many resources.

Writing Feedback / IELTS Task 2 : Find Your Good Job And You Will Have Good Feeling. [2]

Some people say that in order to be happy, you must have a job you love doing. Others say that other factors are more important.

Do you think that people can only be happy if they have a job they really enjoy?

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Several citizens argue that if people want to feel glad, they have to work in their lovely occupation, whereas others think that there are another causes which are more significant than the previous statement. This essay will discuss both points of view. In my personal opinion, it will be nice if the workers work in their favorite job, even though it is followed by another reasons.

In fact, there are many reasons that can make people happy and enjoy their life, such as a comfortable atmosphere in their home and their neighborhod. In fact, individuals who come from happy family, they are more cheerful in their daily activities. They have found a pleasant condotion in their home. In addition, their neighborhood also contribute the condition of their mood.

On the other hand, many employees believe that they have to have a lovely job, so they can feel good and happy every day. I also agree with this opinion, because a good feeling in the working area will support every worker to produce more results. As I know, the bosses in every company always force their workers to release a good idea for improving the products. Then, the company also have to facilitate a comfortable and good facilities to them, so the employees can enjoy their job.

All in all, while a number of human beings think that not only an enjoyable occupation, but also another reasons, I would argue the workers have to have a good job to make them happy and enjoy their life. I think a pleasant job will be followed by a better result for their productions.

Writing Feedback / IELTS Task 2 : For Learning About Another Country, Just Watching or Visiting it? [2]

Some people say that you can learn more about another country by watching television programmes and films about it than by actually visiting it.
How true is this statement? Is there anything you can learn about another country by visiting it that you cannot learn by watching programmes and films about it?

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Several humans argue that persons be able to understand different nation by coming to it, despite others believe that it would be better if they just sit and enjoy all about another states from TV and movies which describe about it. Actually, each of them has their advantages and disadvantages. It based on people's purposes. In my view, I would choose directly visiting to the location.

Regarding to the statement in the previous paragraph, some people choose to enjoy and see another country from their TV. In fact, it is the simple way to bring individual's view around the world. Then, they do not have to spend a lot of money to go to many countries for learning about them, it is really an economical method when individual wants to see many cultures or scenery outside their home. In addition, when inhabitants watch TV such as travelling program, it gives more information to the audiences, because the host of that program will explain about history, the traditions, and what the travelers can do in that place.

On the other hand, there are also a number of arguments that a better way to learn about another country is just visiting that location. Firstly, when a learner directly come, they can search more knowledge, data, and facts about it. Secondly, when the travelers visit the place, they will have their own satisfaction and valuable experiences. For example, they may face a problem on their way, so it will make them more mature for their life. Moreover, they can feel the originality of area and get involved to the local tradition. Remember that travelers are there not only to get experience a different culture, but to help it in some way.

All in all, both of ways are good methods to learn about another origin. Although, attending the origin place is a better choice. It is more excited than just watching from TV programs or films that present about the place.

Writing Feedback / IELTS Task 2 : Do You Feel Lonely When You Live In An Apartment? [5]

Some people say that living in a high-rise apartment block is a lonely experience because there is no community spirit. Others say that people who live in high-rise apartments have a much better sense of community than those who live in houses.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

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Several persons believe that an inhabitant will feel lonely if they live in a tall condominium, because there is just a little of togetherness in the society of condominium. Whereas other people believe that the residents of tall flat have better togetherness among the neighborhood than the individuals who live in home. This essay will discuss both points of view.

There is an argument why mankind has much better sense of community to live in the apartments. In my opinion, every management apartment building always offers their prestigious facilities, so the inhabitant will not feel lonely. They can utilize amenities to entertain themselves. For example, an apartment usually provides a fitness center, jogging track, swimming pool, and shopping center. Then, the inhabitants will meet their neighbors and make a community in there. It is workable, because they meet with the same hobby and interest.

In contrast, I do not think that the statements are totally true. There are also some reasons why the citizens feel lonely when they live in an apartment. Firstly, sometimes number of inhabitants were transient renters and they just rent for a year or a half year. So, every residents do not care with their neighbors, because they think they just for a while live in that building. Secondly, the design of rooms in the apartment is closed from each others, so the occupants are difficult to make a conversation or address their neighbors.

To conclude, although some citizens argue that residents who stay in a condominium will not feel lonely, I would say that living in there is a lonely experience and suggest to live in a house, because human beings will feel a togetherness atmosphere in their neighborhood.

Writing Feedback / IELTS Task 1 : The Most Preferred Transportation For Workers in Houston, Texas [2]

The table shows the percentage of the type of transportation which is used by workers and in general age of workers in Houston, Texas. Then, the bar chart illustrates the number of exhaust gas which come out from vehicle and measure by kilograms per person per kilometer. Overall, most of people prefer to drive their car alone than use a vehicle with the others, whereas the old people tend to use train or bus for their working. And also it can be seen that a private passenger car gives more contribution in air pollution.

Regarding to the bar chart, most of employees like to go to their working by car by themselves. Then, the second rank of selecting vehicle is train or bus, which is chosen by an old people aged 47 years old. Next, 11% of workers choose a shared car to travel to their office and 4% of citizens decide to ride their bicycle or walk to their job.

Because of most of inhabitants tend to go to their working by a private car, so it gives the most contribution of CO2 emission at 0,32. After that, it is followed by the cars which carry more than 4 people. It contributes at 0,06 CO2 emission. Afterwards, least of all, going by bus or train just releases 0,01 of air pollution. And finally, riding bicycle or walking to the office does not contribute an emission to the air. This is the best method to reduce air pollution for the country.

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Writing Feedback / IELTS Taks 1 : The Two Methods of Collecting Water For Irrigation [3]

This two pictures present the process of picking water up from the source of water to irrigate. Although there are two different methods for collecting water, but it can be seen that they have the same purposes which for irrigation.

The first way is named swing basket. This way is involved by two persons and they keep the basket made of bamboo or leather which is tied by four ropes and it can be used when the deep of the water source is about 1-2 meters. To begin, the four sides of basket is fastened to the four ropes, then the people stand in front of another people and hold the two ropes by their hands. Finally, they fill the basket and lift it.

The second method is called roped and bucket. This method is easier than the previous method, because it is lifted by a cow or a buffalo and this method uses a technical equipment with a complex pulley and rollers. Actually, it is used when the deep of well is about 50 meters. First, a bucket can be installed to the ropes and connected to the rollers and pulley. After that, it is pulled by the animals on the slope of hill. At least, the bucket is fulfilled and lifted.

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Writing Feedback / Percentage of the leisure areas attended by 3 different groups of Australian inhabitants [2]

A breakdown of the percentage of the leisure areas attended by 3 different groups of Australian inhabitants is shown in the bar chart. Overall, it can be seen that people living in Australia are keen on going to cinema, while theater is less popular than other 3 places.

The cinema experiences the most popular place to be visited by Australian people. The highest percentage of cinema's spectators witnesses to people who born in Australia, at 70%. While new migrants born in English-speaking country have less point than this. Then, it is just a half of new migrants born in other countries.

The other 3 places are less popular than cinema for Australian citizens. New migrants born in other countries tend to visit library, it has the greatest visitors percentage than another 3 places which is at more than a half. Secondly, the majority of zoo and theater visitors experienced in new migrants born in English-speaking countries, which is at a half for zoo visitors and at approximately a quarter for theater.

Writing Feedback / Where are the leisure areas for three different groups of Australian inhabitants? [2]

A breakdown of the percentage of the leisure areas attended by 3 different groups of Australian inhabitants is shown in the bar chart. Overall, it can be seen that people living in Australia are keen on going to cinema, while theater is less popular than other 3 places.

The cinema experiences the most popular place to be visited by Australian people. The highest percentage of cinema's spectators witnesses to people who born in Australia, at 70%. While new migrants born in English-speaking country have less point than this. Then, it is just a half of new migrants born in other countries.

The other 3 places are less popular than cinema for Australian citizens. New migrants born in other countries tend to visit library, it has the greatest visitors percentage than another 3 places which is at more than a half. Secondly, the majority of zoo and theater visitors experienced in new migrants born in English-speaking countries, which is at a half for zoo visitors and at approximately a quarter for theater.

Writing Feedback / The number of travellers using three major airports in New York City between 1995 and 2000. [2]

A breakdown of the figure for aircraft passengers flying from three major airports in Newyork measured in millions if passengers per year from 1995 to 2000, a five-year period is shown in the bar chart. Overall, it can be seen that during the period, most of people were keen on starting their journey from LaGuardia airport. While 1997 saw John F. Kennedy airport as the favorite airport.

There was an increase in the number of airport visitors of Newark and LaGuardia airport. The significant alteration was noted in LaGuardia's attendees. While it stood at 35, then in 2000, it increased dramatically to more than twice compared to the first year. Moreover, the number of passengers from Newark airport experienced a sharp rise in the first two years, but it continued to grow steadily at 40 travelers in 1997 onwoards.

On the other hand, there was a fluctuation pattern in the figure for John F. Kennedy's visitors. Whereas it had the highest point at almost 50 in 1997. However, the number continued to fluctuated in the next 3 years, and ended up at approximately 43 in the last year.

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Writing Feedback / IELTS Task 1:The changes that have taken place at Queen Mary Hospital since its construction in 1960 [2]

The alterations that have occurred in the construction of Queen Marry Hospital from 1960 to 2000, a four-decade period is illustrated in the map. Overall, it can be seen that the most noticeable changes are the replacement of business and green areas with several major health center projects.

To begin, there were several major changes in the west of map for healthcare purposes. Shopping center lying in the north west of the map was replaced by cancer center and pharmacy. While farmland area was substituted by nursing school. But nevertheless, the infrastructure was demolished and there was an extensive of cancer center in that area.

On the other hand, there were no significant alteration in the east of area. During the period, hospital and car park were still in the same place, but in 2000 the car park was minimized to half area, and the nursing school was building between cancer center and car park.

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Writing Feedback / IELTS Task 1 : The average household expenditures in Japan and Malaysia in the year 2010 [2]

A breakdown of the percentage of money spending in household necessities in two Asian countries in the year 2010 is shown in the two pie charts. Overall, it can be seen that the largest proportion of household expenditures in Japan was noted in other goods and services. While the highest percentage of Malaysia's expends was witnessed in housing.

The three greatest proportion in both countries occurred in other goods and services, food, and housing. Whereas the majority part was taken by housing of Malaysia, which was at almost more than a third. Then, the most money that Japan's spending was other goods and services, at around less than a third. Additionally, the second highest percentage witnessed in food expenditures in both countries, which were noted at 27% in Malaysia, and Japan experienced below this point.

Less money spending in the average household expenditures was seen in transport and health care. Malaysia witnessed one in ten in transport aspect and 3% of health care, while Japan spent more money than Malaysia, which was two times in both aspects.

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Writing Feedback / IELTS Task 1 : Passing high school competency exams, by subject and gender, from 2010 to 2011 [2]

A comparison of the figure for students who passed their examination in high school, categorized by subject and gender from 2010 to 2011, a one-year period is shown in the bar chart. Overall, it can be seen that most of the girls have finished computer science, while the boys tend to focus on geography.

With regards to science subjects, female students always experienced the majority of the percentage. The furthest gap between both genders was chemistry, around less than a third of girls passed the exam, but the boys witnessed less than this. However, the highest percentage of girls passing the exam occurred on computer science, which was more than a half, whereas the boys had 42% of them in this subjects. Then, physics and mathematics also were led by girls, nevertheless the differences between both genders were not too significant.

On the other hand, geography was overtaken by the boys. There was a large disparity between boys and girls. While the proportion of the boys noted at less than a third, and the girls just only had a fifth. Additionally, in foreign language subject, both genders experienced the same point, which were more than two fifths.

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Writing Feedback / IELTS Task 1: Shares of expenditures for 5 categories in 3 countries in the year 2009 [NEW]

What Money Was Spent On

A comparison of the percentage of shares expends in four different countries categorized by five brackets in 2009 is shown in the bar chart. Overall, it can be seen that all of countries had the majority proportion in housing category. While the minority in 4 countries was healthcare and clothing.

The three highest groups in money expenditures were noted in food, housing, and transportation. The four countries spent more shares in housing, which was more than 20% and led by United States, at more than a quarter. Following this, the second largest percentage witnessed in food and Japan was the first position in this category. Moreover, transportation also was noted as the most important aspect in four countries, followed by Canada experienced spending more money in this category than other 3 countries.

On the other hand, the 4 countries spent less money in health care and clothing. While the highest percentage in health care category was America, and the lowest point was occurred on United Kingdom. However, the proportion of clothing seen remained the same level of United States, Canada, United Kingdom, and Japan.

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Writing Feedback / International experience and more precious opportunity. Statement of Purpose For Enrollment at KAUST [4]

Statement of Purpose: Please compose a statement of purpose (maximum of 750 words) discussing the following three points equally:
1. Past work and preparation in your intended field of study.
2. Academic plans for your graduate study and research at KAUST.
3. How will your experience as a KAUST graduate student further your career plans immediately following graduation, and beyond?

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Living in a developing country, such as Indonesia, facing decline in shipping industry is a huge motivation for me to find out solutions to this problem. I am motivated to study abroad in order to broaden my international outlook while simultaneously strengthening my professional abilities. I am especially eager to become acquainted and learn more about thermodynamics, fluid mechanics, heat and mass transfer, and sustainable energy engineering; from the general appearance to the smallest detail. By collaborating with students and instructors from different backgrounds and international society, such as that in your university is ideal for gaining inspiration and acquiring sound training. My decision to study mechanical engineering is encouraged by a desire to contribute to the development of my country's industry in the future.

I earned my BEng from Naval Architecture and Marine Engineering, Department of Mechanical Engineering at University of Indonesia. This course of study gave me thorough foundation of knowledge in ship designing and its calculation. In my spare time, I participated in several seminars involving ship design and marine construction. Moreover, I attended several training to attain certification in marine engineering. The classes I took gave me comprehension in the basic theory of mechanical engineering, and I was fortunate to study in a program that was forward thinking, with lecturers who always pushed me to look to the future. In this environment, I was also surrounded by highly motivated and visionary students, who challenged me to get the best of my ability.

In the university, the coursework focused on theoretical aspects rather than practical aspect. Therefore, to gain practical experience, I had an internship program in Biro Klasifikasi Indonesia Company in my sixth semester. In this company, I significantly increased my knowledge of ship design, such us ship stability, construction, machinery, and safety. As I considered my options for postgraduate studies, the Master of Engineering in Mechanical Engineering at King Abdullah University of Science and Technology has stood out for a number of reasons. The interdisciplinary nature of the program is especially attractive to me, as this will give me a much broader, more practical understanding of all aspects of mechanical field. In addition, the hands-on focus of the program and the links to industry will prepare me to long-term success. With the inherently international nature of today's mechanical industry. It is important for me to study in an international environment away from my country and will certainly give me a unique advantage in my career pursuits.

Supporting this, while I study at KAUST, I tend to learn deeply about fluid mechanics and thermodynamics which is related to my previous study, marine engineering. I will do a research and take some cases from my country as a maritime country. While studying there, this also delivers some advantages for other students since they can obtain worthy experience from it.

After completing my master's degree, I expect to apply what I have learned to drive the shipping industry forward and thus benefit people and society as a whole. I will return to my native country and seek work in the rapidly developing marine and shipping industry, where this is currently a strong demand for talented, experienced communication engineers, and especially ones with international experience. By working in this context, I am confident that I can distinguish myself as a leader in my profession and make many valuable contributions to the modernization of my country. This is a very exciting time to be working in the marine industry, as technology is evolving quickly and new applications are being devised constantly. If I can work at the cutting edge of this industry, I know that I will have a career that is enriching, meaningful, and rewarding in the long term.

In conclusion, I am really excited starting study at KAUST due to gaining international experience and more precious opportunity. Thank you for taking my application into account.

Writing Feedback / IELTS Task 2 : Government's Subsidy For Education And Healthcare [2]

All education and healthcare should be funded by the government and free for everyone.
To what extend do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

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Education and healthcare are the basic needs for every human beings. Some people believe that the government should spend more money to deliver unpaid education and healthcare for its inhabitants. On the other hand, I would argue that the government also has to focus on its public infrastructures.

Several people say that the government should give subsidy for citizens to meet their education and healthcare. This is because education is a basic provision for bright future, additionally, healthcare is a human right. To exemplify, Kingdom of Saudi Arabia gives free of charge for its citizens' education and healthcare. The Kingdom believes that great future of country starts from its quality of education and how healthy the populations. As a result, The Kingdom can take advantage from this, such as utilizing its natural resources by itself. There is no doubt that extending free education and healthcare deliver benefit for the country.

However, there is another field that the government should spend money. The government has to pay attention to the public facilities. The reason is that good infrastructure will be followed by great result of people's working. Take an example from Singapore, the government has built sophisticated facilities to the citizens, such as public transportation. As a result, the inhabitants are encouraged to work and this has risen economic level of the country. There is evidence that the government not only fund for education and healthcare, but also for public facilities.

In conclusion, it has proved that the government also should pay attention to the infrastructures for increasing the quality of country and its populations. I would say that I disagree if the government gives free of charge on education and healthcare for the citizens.

Scholarship / Letter of Self-Introduction as a candidate for Scholarship Program 2016 in Korea [2]

I want to apply for Korean Scholarship. The program asks me to write a letter of self-introduction. It has to be included :
o Your course of life, your view of life, study background, your hopes & wishes, etc
o Your education and work experience, etc., in relation to the KGSP program
o Your motivations for applying for this program
o Reason for study in Korea

I really hope that you can give me feedback, corrections, comment on it. Thank you so much. :)

Dear Korean Government Scholarship Program Admissions,

In this letter, I want to introduce myself as a candidate of Korean Government Scholarship Program 2016. My name is Ani Novia from Indonesia, and I was born on 00th November 1900. In 2011, I started to study Naval Architecture and Marine Engineering at University of Indonesia. During my study, I did not only tend to study and try to get high score in my subjects, but I also joined several organizations in order to learn how to tackle some problems and improve my soft-skill. Moreover, when I was in organizations, I can get a lot of friends and colleagues from other regions, and countries. Then, I made in touch with many people who can encourage the others which are very optimist to make Indonesia more prestige in this world. I have an ambition in the future that I want to be Indonesian citizen who have higher education and apply it to make Indonesia more popular and can exploit its opportunity as a maritime country in a better way.

The purpose of this letter is to inform you that I really want to apply for this scholarship. I am more likely to study in Korea in order to get more precious and sophisticated education. I am keen on study Naval Architecture and Marine Engineering to develop and expand Indonesian archipelago. Following this, if I earn my master degree in Korea, it will be cooperation between Indonesia and Korea in the field of maritime. For example, as Korea is an expert builder of submarine, so it is one of the great opportunities among 2 countries to increase cooperation in National defense. Subsequently, Indonesia has a shipping register namely PT Biro Klasifikasi Indonesia, and Korea also has Korean Register (KR) as a non-profit ship classification. It is also good news for Indonesia and Korea to have more advantages in research and development in the field of ship classification.

In the my sixth semester of my study, my lecturers encouraged me to do an internship in a company of ship classification in Indonesia, PT Biro Klasifikasi Indonesia (Persero). I did my internship in several divisions in that company, such as Machinery and Electrical Division, Hull (Construction) Division, Load Line and Stability Division, and Statutory Division. According to this, I have known and understood Indonesian classification and regulation to be compared to Korean classification. Eventually, it will strengthen cooperation between Indonesia and Korea. I strongly believe that Indonesia can learn more about shipping industry from Korea.

I have decided to study abroad, especially in Korea, in order to broaden my international outlook while simultaneously strengthening my professional abilities. I am most especially eager to become acquainted and learn more deeply about ship construction and stability, hydrodynamics, fluid-mechanics, thermodynamics and marine transportation; from their general appearance to the smallest detail. I will collaborate with students and instructors, and professors from different backgrounds and international societies, to exemplify, in Korean University is ideal for gaining inspiration and acquiring sound training from international paradigm.

Korean Government Scholarship Program 2016 has motivated me to continue my Master Degree at World Class University in Korea. I am encouraged to gain more experiences with international students and atmosphere. I apply for this program in order to support my study. Afterwards, one of my purposes is same as The Program's objective that is promoting international exchange in education, such as mutual friendship among the participating countries of this program. As I have mentioned before, I totally assure that I can obtain a great deal of experience and expertise from international points of view. Lastly, I can establish cooperation with other participating countries in the field of engineering, defense, economy, and country development.

In conclusion, I am really excited to earn my Master Degree in Korea due to international experience and more precious opportunity. Thank you in advance for taking my application into account.