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Posts by ADIE08
Name: Adie Baim
Joined: Jan 28, 2016
Last Post: Feb 28, 2016
Threads: 29
Posts: 30  
From: Indonesia
School: TADULAKO UNIVERSITY

Displayed posts: 59 / page 1 of 2
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ADIE08   
Feb 1, 2016
Writing Feedback / The source shows the sale of hybrid vehicles in the world from 2006 to 2009 [4]

IELTS-TAKS 1: GLOBAL HYBRID VEHICLES SALES.

The bar chart provides the source of the world sales of hybrid vehicles, based on countries and total sale from 2006 to 2009. It is apparent from the information that the US had the highest in sales of hybrid vehicles and total world sale was increased more than 2 times.

To begin, in 2006 the highest sale hybrid vehicles was the US it stood at 250,000, then in the next year, it increased gradually and reached a high 350,000. However, in 2008 total hybrid vehicles sales decreased slightly and continued to fall to below 300,000 in the end of the period.

In contrary, the sale of hybrid vehicles in Japan in 2006 stood at around 50,000. Then over the two years, it inclined slightly near to 10,000 in 2008. In addition in 2009, the total of sales in Japan rose dramatically 3 times higher than previous last year and it passed over US sale to around 325,000. Moreover, in other countries from the beginning to the end of the period, the data showed that it grew steadily.



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ADIE08   
Feb 2, 2016
Writing Feedback / PUCHASING OF BOOKS BY COUNTRIES - the greatest money spent on a book in Germany in 2005 [NEW]

The line graph illustrates about the total amount finished to bought the books in five countries, Germany, France Italy, and Austria in million $ US dollar, from 1995 to 2005. It is apparent from the information that, the first state in 1995 to the final state in 2005, all countries show a positive trend in money finished on books.

To begin, Germany showed the greatest level the greatest money spent in a book by purchasing increased to over 90 million in 2005. Money spent in Germany had experienced growth in 1995 and 1999. Then, it also had experienced in 2001 and 2003. At the final stage, the money spent remained increase until 2005.

In addition, France and Italy showed approximately similar trend both of them from 1995 to 1997 around 50 and 60 million dollars. When the survey in 1997, the gaps had bigger in which Italy had experienced drop but Italy continue steady incline to the end in 2005. Moreover, Austria, although it started with it the lowest country which spent money purchased the books, however, total spend money in Austria from 1995 to 2005 increased gradually, in which finally Austria passed the Italy country at the end of periods.



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ADIE08   
Feb 3, 2016
Writing Feedback / Technology promotes a revolution and an innovation in mobility of workers. [2]

... much more convenient, in particular (with coma) workers.
Personally, I would argue that the benefitbenefits people obtain from such ...

... they do not have any intention toof face-to-face communication.
... just have a few friends in their real life, although theythem have above thousands of friends in their bussineesbusiness online.
... overwhelming when they deal with (article the or a ) crowd.

... significant benefit in workers's cicrlescircles.
... even they are not in (article the)workplace.
... found that 89% of employessemployees in some companies complete ...
ADIE08   
Feb 3, 2016
Writing Feedback / The new phenomena in this world - the increased crime among young people in many countries [3]

The crime rate among teenagers has increased dramatically in many countries Discuss some possible reasons for this increase and suggest solutions

Nowadays, the new phenomena happened in many parts of this world where Juvenile delinquency is increasing significantly. It is important to know why this has happened and to look at ways to solve the problem.

The most reason is a breakdown problem in the nuclear family. Increasing of divorced in several countries is most support the youngster become a lawbreaker. For instance, as the following data from criminology at Cambridge University, Divorce significantly affects the rate of crime, in which they found that the divorce of parents before the children was aged ten was one of the major predictors of adolescent delinquency and adult criminality. Moreover, there is real indicating the high rate of criminality in society caused by environment and society. Base on Serious Youth Crime organization, the geographic is supporting the concentration of crime occurs at various levels, which is generally due to basic problems such as poverty and high unemployment. Poor family ties, lack of proper supervision, Lack of parental connection force minors to associate more time with their peers thus increasing their chances of receiving wrong information from the environment that lead them into committing delinquent activities.

The methods to reduce the lawbreaker on teenager are Education. It plays a very significant role in molding young people into responsible and law abiding adults. Education-based programs provide both parents and children with the right information and thus influencing their decision. These programs educate young people about drugs, sexuality gangs, and weapons. This information helps them understand the consequences of their delinquent actions. These programs are more successful in reducing juvenile delinquency since they target the young people in their early stages of life.

To sum up, the major reason for crime rate grow on adolescent are the divorce of their parents in which the teenager get less attention from their parents. Moreover, lack of proper knowledge of the surrounding environment encourages crime rate in adolescents. To overcome the lawbreaker on a teenager with education in which right information and the impact on the future of young people.
ADIE08   
Feb 3, 2016
Writing Feedback / Traditional music is more important than other and it should be preserved as an asset. [5]

Nowadays trend of listening music has increased enormous enormously.
Asian countries speciallyconfuse meaning in the south Asian. found in Asian countries especially in the south Asian countries

the question which occur occurs is why

Secondly, music makes a person more calm calmer and tension free, so after listening to the song the person is in more control to get back

so the music of any society

internationalmusic also have some im some what? also have some importance in the society the main reason
ADIE08   
Feb 4, 2016
Writing Feedback / The change of Stockfort village in 1930 and 2010 [5]

The picture illustrates about the Stokeford town change during 80 years. It is apparent from the information that village was developing significantly with there was many housing and new road construct.

To begin in 1930, from the north to the south the east of Rivers Stock in the village only had one of the major roads. Besides that, there are some farmlands on there. Then there was a post office on the left side of the road, beside the north of building there were two shops and some houses, the opposite was a primary school. In addition in the middle of town, a large house stayed and this building surrounded by a huge garden.

In contrast, over the next 8 decades in 2010, the village many experienced some alteration, in which people in Stokeford village eliminate all the farmland and also demolish all shops which it replaced with a housing and new road. the primary school in this town was developing with constructed of the new building on the east side. In addition, the Large Houses was replaced with a Retirement Home in which the garden area was reduced. Then in the front of this building government build of the housing area.



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ADIE08   
Feb 4, 2016
Writing Feedback / Nowadays, the substantial issue of the world is the overpopulation - IELTS [2]

The continued rise in the world's population is the greatest problem faced by humanity at the present time.
what are the causes of this continued rise?
do you agree that it is the greatest problem faced by humanity?


Nowadays, the substantial issue the world is the overpopulation, consequently many problems faced by humankind around the world. In my opinion, unbalance a low mortality rate than the growth of birth rate and also the level of treatment advanced is the main problem the global population increase then I agree that statement, following this essay I will give some reason to support it.

First and foremost, the overpopulation every year caused by the decline of death rate make of total population unbalanced between the birth rate and death rate in many countries. According to data from World Bank Organization 2010, the birth rate in whole the world increases fifty percent compares thirty years ago, while the mortality rate only grows below twenty percent. as a consequence, the poverty rate is increasing in many countries that cause the new social problem in society such poverty, unemployment, and crime. Therefore, a high birth rate otherwise low mortality is main reason in society

In addition, the improving of medicine system is supporting of the citizen growth. following the industrial revolution, technological advancement was perhaps the biggest reason in which Medical science made new many discoveries. According to the 2014 CIA World Factbook during fifty years, death rate decrease from 35 percent to below 10 percent. Illnesses that had claimed thousands of lives till now were cured because of the invention of vaccines. Because of this, population increase significant in makes the other effects of overpopulation that is a depletion of resources the earth in which can only produce a limited amount of water and food as result starvation happens in many countries. Finally improving treatment techniques increase total the citizen around the world but make new problem another side.

The aforementioned evidence shows that advanced medical technology, as well as the number of deaths worldwide, decline pushed the number of people with significant increases, but then to create new problems, such as poverty, unemployment resources are not sufficient and famine.
ADIE08   
Feb 5, 2016
Writing Feedback / What kind of sport should have well deserved place in schools curriculum? [3]

... and do the sport. On account of this, there are 2 opinions.

... school do not have a such opportunity and facilities. Because in schools students study and get knowledgesknowledgenot dodoes not do the sport. So have not placeplaced in the school curriculmcurriculum.

... place in the school curriculum. Because nowadays there are people ...
However, there are students who do the sportsports after school.
Also,there will be more interested oninterested in sports that they could be ...

I fimly I firmly believe that in the future competitive sports,both ...
ADIE08   
Feb 5, 2016
Writing Feedback / IELTS TAKS 2 : the best method of learning, through group study or independent study? [3]

In the world of education, there are several techniques to learn, in which many people, throughout the world, assume that for several student learn with group discussion is better, While some students prefer to study by themselves. I argue that both of views have merits and demerits for a student have their own way to study, however in my opinions study together with other friends are more benefit.

Firstly, many schools suggest their students to learn together in a study group, it is related with the research study or other subjects. Base on Pennsylvania research, study group has a purpose educate the pupil skills and analytic, then make them active thinking to solve a problem together with their friends and they improve the sense of mind also they have good skill communicate. Moreover, group discussion teaches about moral and attitude values such tolerance and sharing with the other. Studied in American elementary school, the student has experienced in a study group, generally have higher social respect with their friends and easy to accept of diversity. Finally study group have many positive impacts on pupils

However, a student tends to do an individual study the reason is more focus on their subject. self-study also makes Student gains the freedom to learn without restrictions. they can do anywhere and anytime and improve their concentration. For example based on MOSS (most online study self) organisation, student choose self-learning is more compatible to answer the question in which most of them have high record pass the exam. However many a student do the self-study has difficult when they learn in which they have only a little guidance, if something the book not clear or the subject is confusing no-one friends to help also student needs more time to solve their problem

The aforementioned evidence shows that, although self-learning has a benefit but it also has a weakness. In my opinion, study-group is more useful for students to increase knowledge gained from their peers and be able to correct each other in one group.
ADIE08   
Feb 9, 2016
Writing Feedback / Developing of medical system in many sides keep people healthier and their life expectancy is higher [5]

one of the consequences of improved medical care is that people are living longer and life expectancy is increasing.
do you think the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?


Recently, as the result of the developing of the medical system in many sides make people healthy and expectancy life people increase. In my opinion, there are some benefits and drawback people who are long age. Then following this essay I will give my strong reason.

First and foremost, the advantages of this, long life age make new chance which they have a very productive age's is very important for the development of the country. Based on data from WHO organization that China is example country in which success open a lot of jobs and develop their citizen to improve the economy country as the consequence china now become the giant economy in the world then they have a higher life expectancy rate. Moreover, long life also has an impact in society in which people have a good physically and mentality is still be needed their help in some side. For instance, The scientists or Professors still be needed of their knowledge and the ability for humankind although their age over sixty years. Finally, Durability and life chances are increased levels in which pushed up opportunities in develop of countries are also very large.

However there is contrast opinion says that good life expectancy has a lot of negative effect in humankind then the most problem is a high increase of medical care. The phenomenon of population ageing is directly related to what is known as health transition. According to an OECD report, the over-65 age group accounts for 40-50% of healthcare spending and they're per capita health care costs are three to five times higher than for those under 65. And there are fears that public expenditure could rise as the result of ageing happened in good life expectancy countries. This has impact continuously which countries will spend more money to give the treatment and good medical for them but the productivity work is not balance in which every year they decrease. As a consequence, make the fee of labor will incline dramatically. Therefore improvement in life expectancy significantly also increases the citizen life cost and country.

In conclusion, the positive of having high life expectancy is there are many populations of productive age that it is an essential part in the country's development. However, there is negative too, which high expectancy in the world make the cost of citizen increase significant mostly in medical care.
ADIE08   
Feb 18, 2016
Writing Feedback / Improving social-media equipment in this era has an impact on communication among human beings [3]

the use of electronic media has a negative effect on personal relationship between people. To what extent do you agree or disagree

Improving social media equipment in globalization era has an impact in communication with humankind. In my point of view, I tend to agree with that statement, in which there is negative effect about that.

First and foremost, the bigger the impact of the electronic media as the communication make a longer relationship because media has a limitation of people face to face and interact with other people. For example, base on research by Global Network, most of the people since 2000s had been tending to send messages or call by phone to communicate with the other rather than by faced direction. In which sometimes people lived some home to do that activity. As a consequence, most of the people in the world have a less emotional connection with humankind or family. Finally, media social has bad impact of relationship with others

In addition, the other drawback of the high media communication is a social impact. Due to most of the people tend to apathetic with surrounding environment. In which it is enough for them using by social media communication with other people. For example base on a statistic research by New York University, people prefer to felicitation by online networks such as Facebook, Path or LINE, than join in a birthday party or married party. As a result the social connection with surrounding or friend, every year becomes unfamiliar.

On the other hand, media also has a positive effect on one side, in which people lived in a different location easy to communicate with each other by a high social network. However, using of electronic equipment rather than meet direction by face to face has a different emotional connection side. in another side, it also has beneficial of physiology and relationship.

The aforementioned evidence shows that media social as a communication has a bad impact on society and relationship in which it also has an influence of people neighborhood.
ADIE08   
Feb 21, 2016
Writing Feedback / Studying art for some students is fun, but many are having problem with it... [3]

... classes that children have disliked, or they lack of certain talents such as painting or drawing

... but many are having the problem with it

In conclusion, I completely agree towith the idea that attending children to the lesson they lack is not meaningful...
ADIE08   
Feb 21, 2016
Writing Feedback / The table graph shows the routes, opening years and total customers in underground railway systems [3]

The table graph provides reveal the Beneath Railways system, based on a route, year of the opening, and total customer in some cities in three continent, Asia, Europa, and America. It is apparent from the information that London city is the oldest and the longest route while Tokyo city is the biggest of a total passenger.

According to the date opened, two cities in Europe have the oldest underground railways system that is London and Paris. Formally London station opened in 1863, in which over 60 years later Tokyo station was opened that is the oldest in Asia. Moreover based on data, Los Angeles station becomes the last opened, in which the range with London city is around 130 years.

Looking detail on kilometer route, it is clear that the oldest city station also related to a long route, in which London city is the longest of the total kilometer route. However there is anomaly data in which Kyoto city was the second older but it has a shorter distance than the last station that is Los Angeles.

On the other data, based on the passenger per year, Kyoto has a bigger of total occupant underground railways system than the other cities while London has around a half total passenger than Kyoto and Los Angeles is the last city has a smaller the total customer.



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ADIE08   
Feb 21, 2016
Writing Feedback / In 1940 Japan stood at below 5% of people aged 65 and now prediction shows the rise to 27% in 2040 [5]

The line graph provides of the quantity of population 65 years and over, according to the percentage from 1940 to 2040 year in three cities. It is apparent from the information that, although Japan was the lowest member in the first period in 1940 while over 100 years later it will be the highest percentage of people 65 ages and next.

Looking detail on the data, Japan stood at below 5 percent of people 65 years in 1940. Moreover, in 1960, it slightly decreased to below 5 percent. Then, the line was steady twenty years later. in addition, a total population in Japan increased gradually between 1980 to 2000, in which approximately in the middle of 2030, the percentage will increasing dramatically and peak in 2040 around 27 percent.

On the other data, Sweden and The USA, both of them stood at below 10 percent in 1940, in which they had similar rate and fluctuation until 60 years later. However in the middle 1980, they were separated in which Sweden increased gradually until 2040 even though had experienced decreased in 2010 but it will be growing over in 2020. In contrary, USA will have stabling rate until in 2020 then, it is increasing and finish in 2040.



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ADIE08   
Feb 21, 2016
Writing Feedback / PUBLIC LIBRARIES AND THEIR FUNCTION FOR HUMANS. Are they redundant already? [NEW]

Maintaining public libraries is a waste of money since computer technology can replace their functions. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

public libraries services without human?



The technology computer is changing all activities people In the world, in which preserving of general libraries uses a manpower that spends much money. However, in my opinion, I tend to disagree with that statement, public libraries still need the people inside in which there are some benefits in security and maintenance side.

Firstly, the most reasonable why human beings still require is safety. Moreover, the general libraries have many book and manuscript in which the values of those are so expensive in which human activity very essential to secure it. For example, most of building and office include the libraries still use the people as the security guard. Because using the computer has a limitation to avoid each threat come. As a consequence, the safety of public library need be guaranteed. Finally, in security side, the human function still irreplaceable.

In addition, the other benefits the people are needed is history side. Because most of the books in the library have oldest ages in which some book is invaluable if be looked history, thus is needed extra maintenance to care that books, which the computer is difficult to handle it. For instance, the Indonesian National library Jakarta every three days the officer staff check and clean the oldest manuscript or book such Negarakertagama, or Serat Centini, from dust and fungus, in which those books are the highest circumspection for the treatment. As a result the oldest book function still useful for the next generation reader. So the human activities to maintain the antique book still essential.

In contrary, another case, the computer also has an important case to make the job easy in which it can reduce off time and money. However, doing all activities only by the computer is not guarantee in security method and technical treatment the some ancient books. Therefore, human function in public library always is useful.

The aforementioned evidence shows that people have a crucial aspect in the books maintenance and safety the public library.
ADIE08   
Feb 21, 2016
Writing Feedback / IELTS TASK 2 : Claims that public museums and art galleries will not be needed [2]

Some people claim that public museums and art galleries will not be needed because people can see historical objects and works of art by using a computer. Do you agree or disagree with this opinion

Many opinions say that the art galleries and general museum are not important aspect in the modern era, in which people can be observed all history object and work by the technology computer. While in my perspective, I do not agree that statement which the museum and arts have some benefits function in society.

First and foremost, the essential aspect of museum art is history. Because that object inside is invaluable price also there is historical side each the objects. For example, based on a statistic by LOUVRE National Museum in Paris, every year twenty thousand people whole the world visited that museum in which most of them interested in looked the special section that is the painting of Monalisa by a masterpiece of Leonardo de Caprio, Rather than looked by screen computer. As a consequence people, willing spend much money visited the art gallery or museums that showing the historical object of the high valuable.

The other reason is education side, in which using the museum or art gallery is important aspect to teach the next generation about their history, that the ancestor legacy is tangible. For example, sometimes people needed fine information about the historical site such Borobudur temple or Proclamation places is real or not in which going to those places, people can be looked and touch direction the object that proving the heritage is real. Compared by screen computer only looked the pictures. Finally, the museum or art gallery functions are still beneficial in the side of science and knowledge.

The aforementioned evidence shows that museum and art gallery functions constantly useful as history and education.
ADIE08   
Feb 21, 2016
Writing Feedback / Financing the education and health are more primary need than defraying the costs of other aspects [2]

Many countries spend a lot of money in art. Some people think investment in art is necessary, but others say money is better spent on improving health and education. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Spending the money for art and public service to be the controversial topic in some countries in which many opinions says that art is compulsory in society while other opinions say that the public service such education and health are obligatory. In my point of view, there are benefits effects in society, both of two statements.

To begin, the advantages of the government fundIing of the art and museum is education history. Because in those places, people can learn many things about the history or artwork include for the next generation. For example, in Jakarta city, there are some museum and art gallery in which it have education function, such as Ceramics Museum or Batik gallery. Moreover, that places also have memorial aspect, in which is one function to remember who or something in society. For instance, the Sudirman or Sukarno-Hatta statues. As a consequence, the payment for art has a beneficial In knowledge side.

On the other hand, the government also has an obligation funding in social public such education and health, because those aspects are crucial things by citizen increasing their prosperity. For example, the Brunei Darussalam government spending much money gives the scholarship for the family poor and also in this country is giving the free payment in medicine treatment and hospital. As a consequence, the welfare social and life expectancy of citizen is guaranteed. Finally, the purposed by government funded health and education is affluence the citizen

The aforementioned evidence shows that both of funding for art in one side and education and health. on another side is the essential aspect of society, while in my opinion, financing of education and health are more primary before defraying the other aspect.
ADIE08   
Feb 21, 2016
Writing Feedback / The aim of university is to help graduates find better jobs - or there are some benefits for others? [3]

Please note that the next time you provide a useless comment in other student's thread, your account will be suspended.

Some people believe that the aim of university education is to help graduates find better jobs while some others hold that there are wider benefits for the individual and the society. Discuss both viewpoints and give your opinion

Many opinions say that the most purpose of education in a university is the scholars easy getting a work. While in others reasons say that education is beneficial for person and community. In my perspective, both of those statements have basic reasons each other. Following this essay, I will give my strong opinions

Firstly, the most reason is skill and ability, because in the university has different system education in which the basic function is improving the students' knowledge and expertise than in senior high school. For example, who want to become a lawyer, judge or prosecutor must enroll university in law faculty, or want to a teacher must choose education faculty in which in that places have a the specific education appropriated the job. As a consequence the student easy to find a job when their graduate from university. Finally, university has beneficial to improve the competence and capability.

In contrary, university also has purpose in side of individual and community because essential aspect on those is social in which the end of goal of university is creating the benefit effect for individual and social for example, many inventors are originated from university in which their invention very useful for human beings, such Marie curie who was the college teacher at Stockholm University in 1908, in which she who success conducted pioneering research on radioactivity as a consequence her invention, she got honor by the government and Nobel price in science thus it is very useful for medicine science and humanity. Finally, education in university intended as a useful basis for many people.

In conclusion, the aim university between getting the job or benefit for the person or beneficial for society or individual, while in my perspective, those statements have a strong reason each other, because since it depends on the view of each person to see it.
ADIE08   
Feb 23, 2016
Writing Feedback / A comparison of changes in the number of population in Columbia, Yamhill and Washington (1940-2000) [2]

In 1940, the proportion of the population in Washington stood at 75,000.

... grew noticeably to virtually 245,000 habitansthe citizen, experiencing more than ...

On the other side, Columbia and YamhilYamhill began at fairly similar proportion...
In 1970, there were a slight rise (...) and 45,000 inhabitant s successively.
... figures for the population in Columbia and YamhilYamhill finished at roughly ...

( be careful on spelling and article)
ADIE08   
Feb 23, 2016
Writing Feedback / Total percentage of teachers enlisting in Ontario City (2001 - 2007) who teach English and French [3]

The line graph reveals about the total percentage of the teacher enlisting in Ontario City from 2001 to 2007 which divided two subjects. It is apparent from that information that, English-language teachers decreased significantly while French language teachers despite had experienced decreased but over the period the level increased slightly.

Looking detail on the data showed started in 2001 stood at over 70% accepted as teachers in English subject in which it was the highest rate in the same year. However, two years later total percentages decreased dramatically in which it was losing over 20%. Whereas from 2003 to 2005, total percentages of English teacher accepted in the Ontario City increased slightly around 2 percent than previously but following this, the trend rate sharply falls until a finish under 30% in 2007 .

Turning to total percentages of French language teachers, in 2001 stood 70% was accepted in the Ontario City, however, it dropped to near 50% in the next year. Moreover, the rate was showed increased rapidly more than 20% in 2003. Over the next years to finish in 2007, the percentage rise rapidly in which despite had experienced drop slightly below 70% in 2007 but it peak at over 72% in the last period.



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ADIE08   
Feb 23, 2016
Undergraduate / How Purdue will support you in terms of your program of study? [3]

... for students staying up late in the labrarylibrary .
Students have a chance to join in amounts of ...
Facing these nice people at Purdue will give an unforgetableunforgettable expression for international students
ADIE08   
Feb 23, 2016
Writing Feedback / Media should have a duty to publish only verified information and focus more on the important news [4]

the media pay too much attention to lives and relationship of celebrities such as actors, singers and footballers, they should spend more time reporting the live ordinary people, to what extend do you agree or disagree.

Nowadays the media such TV, radio, newspaper spend much time to focus on the famous people such artist or actor, in which there are not famous people have a good ability and skill to publish. In my opinion, I tend to agree that media should make balanced information to public.

First and foremost, medias should have a duty to give each information in public is matched which is not only one side. Because the consumer of media does not come in one layer society, that there are many level people as the customer the media. For example, some Medias in Indonesia more interested give information about the hot issue of the celebrity life such as Syahrini, however in other sides only a little information from the media tell about Indonesian Inventor such the Mr. Warsito who is the inventor of medicine cancer in Indonesia whereas their knowledge very essential for Indonesian people. As a consequence, the Indonesian people has a got little beneficial information rather than the celebrity news. Finally, should the information provided to the public by the media must be a balance.

In addition, the entertainment like TV or newspaper has a moral obligation to the society that every a news their publication to society have a social education inside. For instance, media should not give information about a hot issue such artist's personal life which their personal life cannot be a role model in society. Moreover, sometimes, celebrities will not feel comfortable to publish their private life when they are followed everywhere by paparazzi. Therefore, media has the rule to give information in society true.

The aforementioned evidence shows that the mass media such as television, magazines, and online news pay too much attention to disseminating gossip of celebrities even though it is not essential to be obtained. However, ordinary people who probably can be inspiring others should have appeared in the media. Where possible, they should have the same proportion of the famous people.
ADIE08   
Feb 24, 2016
Scholarship / 'Big role in an government project'; Detailed Study Plan and Future Plan - Korean Scholaship [2]

Hi, everyone! My name is Novihya from Indonesia. I'm applying toapplying for Korean Scholarship. please review my study plan :) thank you!

At first, I will join the Korean language program. I will start learning Korean language after arriving in Korea,

By doing all that, I hope I will be able to enhance my communication skills in the appropriate way and gain proficiency in the Korean. Learning the Korean language will be one of my priorities.

I want to prepare the subjects by communicatingfor communicating the curriculum

so I can be a focus to strengthen

I would like to carryingcarry out research

solve a variety of issues or building's

the First thing I need to

I will try to get that into the habit of looking of looking at my planner

I want to become a professional xxx who can be creatively responsible inresponsible for globalization

who want to become a xxxx and the have same interest with my field

be carefully your proposition.
ADIE08   
Feb 24, 2016
Undergraduate / 'You are a female, do not bother going to college' SOP essay for transfering to UT [7]

And that moment where, with a brochure onbrochure in my hand, I must ...
First impressions mean everything, especially when related to selling.
... approaching people with little or no interested oninterested in my product was were the hardest part ...
... yet 1 out of 6 people I approached approached, did.
This job helped ameliorate y skills as a seller since ...
By ameliorate my selling skills and not entirely ...
... chocolate to gathering money for the church.
ADIE08   
Feb 24, 2016
Writing Feedback / Children eating pattern in this era have become unhealthy and it generates obesity [3]

Many children these days have an unhealthy lifestyle. Both school and parents are responsible for solving this problem. To what extent do you agree whit this statement

There is no doubt that children eating pattern in this era have become unhealthy in which It has generated childhood obesity in many parts of the world. Many opinions say that both of parent and school should have strategies to tackle this problem. For the same reason, totally agree that statement, However, I also believe that there are several measurements to consider preventing such overweight children's issue.

To begin with, there are several factors that cause children have an unhealthy lifestyle which the most crucial reason is an unhealthy diet. Many children tend to consume fast-foods, Jung foods, or snacks, in which that food contain high in fat, sugar, and salt. This condition is getting worse as parents' awareness of their menu in the home. Both father and mother are busy of their work and do not have time to provide nutritious meals. Another factor is less of physical activities. today's young generations this era tends to spend much time indoor by sitting in front of computer, television, or kinds of the modern devices rather than doing sports activities. As a result, these bad habits have damaged children's growth process and have encouraged diseases especially obesity.

In addition, since the issue is established spread in, both of some people believe that teachers and parents should play some methods to deal with, for instance, They have an important role to reduce and prevent kid obesity by modeling healthy life,in which children can see their role model of healthy life. As a result, these strategies may bring positive impact and it can reduce gradually minimize children's health problems. Therefore, good example of parents and teachers provide knowledge about the importance of healthy life

The aforementioned evidence shows that, I would argue that child diet and exercise regularly can reduce the health risk for them.
ADIE08   
Feb 24, 2016
Undergraduate / "As for my fate, I'll accept it whenever Zeus sends it." Main Transfer Essay - the reasons [3]

... I'd never thought of my future.while I chose history as ... however, I didn't train (...) foreign language study which I had an ambitious application list, that included a lot of ... When I look back onback at my choices, I realize that ...

In addition , Entering as a history major, I now realize that my interests reside in so many ways in the humanities generally and I want to distribute my time evenly among different disciplines. Thus, I want to pursue the interdisplinaryinterdisciplinary studies that OSU does not offer.
ADIE08   
Feb 27, 2016
Writing Feedback / A survey representing the people who are happy in the US (IELTS Task 1) [2]

The breakdown of a survey representing the people in percentages who are happy in the United ...
This survey is measured in percentages. Overall, the married citizenswho are marriedare( there are two verb) happier than unmarried dwellers.

It is shown by more than two-fifths of the 18-29 age groups ...
... while only 40 % of citizens also have samesimilar feeling.
ADIE08   
Feb 27, 2016
Writing Feedback / Surveys representing the employees' relations with their supervisor and co-worker IELTS Task 1 [3]

The breakdown of a comparison of two surveys in percentages representing the employees' relations ..
... the most significant results in the charts show ...

According to the first chart, just over three-fifths of occupants hadhave 'very good' relation with ...
... 26 % of workers, who hadhave 'good' interaction, fellfall to 22 % in the next four years.
... number of proportion and alteration occurred towards fair as well as poor relationship.

... 63 % of officers also hadhave 'very good' relation with co-workers and it experienced increase to seven in ten. 2005 also saw that there wasis good relationship which wasis owned by 28 % of employees and then it declined of three percent in the end of period.
ADIE08   
Feb 28, 2016
Writing Feedback / The style of clothes and capability have a role in workplace, it should be balanced and appropriate [2]

... several companies takepay a big attention more to the appearance ...
... have a role in workplace, it should be balanced and appropriate with the circumstances.

... looked-perfect appearance and dresses neatly as they mustto face the passenger directly and they reflect the company ...

... employees in work field has an undoubtedly important role undoubtedly because it influences ...

... have a capability in that field to sellpromote the product of development smartly.
... but also their appearance is become the focal point.
... that value quality of work is also other important side in companies.

... the outfits and quality of work have equalthe same role to the companies and ...
ADIE08   
Feb 28, 2016
Writing Feedback / The level of education of Bulgarian people who wanted to go and live in another country [2]

The chat below gives information about the level of education of Bulgarian people who wanted to go and live in another country in 2002, 2006 and 2008.

The bar chart illustrates comparison the percentage of the people of Bulgaria who emigration and then living in abroad based on the level of educations in three periods. It is apparent from the information that people who had a middle education was the highest rate in all periods but decreased considerably while the most significant-change were Higher education's chart grew in last periods.

Looking detail on the data, the data, secondary education fell slightly year by year which in 2002 the leveled off 65 percent but fell 4 percent three years letter and pulled to 59 percent in 2008.

Turning to primary and lower education expressed fast growth. Starting at 18 percent in the first survey then increased steadily just one person in the next periods while in 2008 the percentage was rocketed dramatically which the level pecked 32 percent. On the other hand, the Bulgarian people who had the higher education decreased, although it experienced grew 3 percent in 2006 but 2008 it descend from 19 percent 2002 to 9 percent in 2008,



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