shintacandrade
Nov 17, 2015
Writing Feedback / IELTS-TASK2 : Whether the media should notice ordinary people than famous people ? [4]
Lifestyle of public figures such as actors, singers, or footballers brings the press to take much seriously. I would argue that common people also have a right to be well-known in a part of society when they achieve a success, whereas I totally disagree since they will exaggerate to reveal about their lives.
Hi Norman, I have to say that your thesis statement is quite bewildering since you agree in the first statement, then you refute it afterwards. And actually, this did not successfully answer the prompt. Let me rewrite it:
Lifestyles of public figures such as actors, singers, or footballers have been exposed unreasonably by the media. Ordinary people, on the other hand, are rarely reported in the news. I would argue that common individuals also have a right to be well-known in a part of society even though celebrities' lives, in fact, sound far more exciting for public interests. In this case, the media should have courage to bring ordinary people's stories to the public.
Hope this helps ~ Shinta
Lifestyle of public figures such as actors, singers, or footballers brings the press to take much seriously. I would argue that common people also have a right to be well-known in a part of society when they achieve a success, whereas I totally disagree since they will exaggerate to reveal about their lives.
Hi Norman, I have to say that your thesis statement is quite bewildering since you agree in the first statement, then you refute it afterwards. And actually, this did not successfully answer the prompt. Let me rewrite it:
Lifestyles of public figures such as actors, singers, or footballers have been exposed unreasonably by the media. Ordinary people, on the other hand, are rarely reported in the news. I would argue that common individuals also have a right to be well-known in a part of society even though celebrities' lives, in fact, sound far more exciting for public interests. In this case, the media should have courage to bring ordinary people's stories to the public.
Hope this helps ~ Shinta