irfan727
Sep 27, 2015
Scholarship / Why I desire to join the UWC community and reflect on UWC's mission and values - statement [10]
hello, after reading your passage i do not find your interest on your focus on. you just tell about the journey.
for example for this statement.
When i was young, i always had a desire to explore the world but i do not have enough financial to have journeys to other countries
btw for using "I" as the subject you should use capital word. o ya from that, reader just knows, you just sharing to the reader what you feel. For academic writing, please do not use the feeling or your own experience. let's try to use global statement or fact or scientific fact. With that your writing will improve automatically.
I suggest you to take course about writing ; you can know what the mistakes on your passage more detail.
thanks, hope it can helps.
hello, after reading your passage i do not find your interest on your focus on. you just tell about the journey.
for example for this statement.
When i was young, i always had a desire to explore the world but i do not have enough financial to have journeys to other countries
btw for using "I" as the subject you should use capital word. o ya from that, reader just knows, you just sharing to the reader what you feel. For academic writing, please do not use the feeling or your own experience. let's try to use global statement or fact or scientific fact. With that your writing will improve automatically.
I suggest you to take course about writing ; you can know what the mistakes on your passage more detail.
thanks, hope it can helps.