Writing Feedback / The growth of salmon begin when eggs from adult salmon laid out at small stones under the reeds [2]

The diagrams below show the life cycle of a species of large fish called the salmon

The diagram gives information about the cycle life's of salmon. Overall, it can be seen that The developmental stages of salmon occur in some places and lasts for a certain time. There are several stages of its life, which is started from eggs until becoming adult salmon.

The growth of salmon begin when eggs from adult salmon laid out at small stones under the reeds, which in the upper river with slow moving water flows. Those eggs are placed particular places in order to protect them from distractions from the surrounding environment. This stage occurs approximately 5 to 6 months. After baby salmon, fry, hatched from the egg, they will grow up to 3-8 cm. With the size of its body, they will move to lower river with fast flowing water and they will be continue to live in this place around 4 years.

Growing from fry to smolt, this fish has bigger size, with a length of about 12 up to 15 cm. This smolt fish will swim to open sea, which is becoming their new habitat for 5 years. Once they had grown into an adult salmon, they will reach their maximum size at 70.76 cm. This adult salmon characterized by mature body and ready for breeding their eggs, so that they will be move to their origin place, the upper river.

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Writing Feedback / The Sales fluctuations of two popular in Europe imported products: coffee and bananas [2]

The tables give information about sales of Fairtrade-labelled coffee and bananas in 1999 and 2004 in five European countries.

The tables present information about the number of coffee and bananas product from Fairtrade-labelled in five different countries of Europe in two periods, 1999 and 2004. Unit is measured in millions of Euros. Overall, it can be seen that the most noticeable increasing of coffee sales was the United Kingdom, while Switzerland experienced the same trend in Fairtrade-Labelled bananas sales

According to the data, United Kingdom was the highest sales number in 2004, at 20 million, which grew from starting point at 1.5 million in 2004. The number of product selling in Switzerland during 2004 showed two times higher than 1999, while Belgium only experienced a moderate increase of 0.7 million in sales figure over 5-years. Denmark and Sweden presented the similar number on coffee sales, which increased slightly of 0.2 million in 2004.

Regarding to bananas sales, Switzerland experienced the highest number of sales in 1999, around 15 million, and this also showed the highest rise to 47 million compared to other countries. UK and Belgium started from 1 million and 0.6 million in 1999, and this figure rose slightly to 5.5 and 4 million, respectively in 2004. Interestingly, Sweden and Denmark presented similar trend, which showed a decline during the periods.

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Writing Feedback / The essential thing of appearance make several companies regulate that workers need to dress smartly [2]

Some organisations believe that their employees should dress smartly. Others value quality of work above appearance.
Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

People need to pay more attention in how they dress since appearance is one of aspects that influence other people perception about someone's personality. The essential thing of appearance make several companies regulate that workers need to dress smartly in working place. Other people believe that quality of work is much more important rather than appearance. I would argue that although appearance is crucial, but the quality of work is much more important in several occupation.

There are several kind of job which consider nice appearance as the first requirement for people who applying this job. This requirement based on perception that good appearance can affect employees performance since their work is interact directly with customers. Marketing officer, for instance, always have to keep their appearance look fresh and attractive by using make up or accessories. It is because good appearance can influence many customers to buy their product. As a result, their appearance can give better performance which is can influence their income.

On the other hand, not every profession makes appearance as a compulsory for the workers. Quality of work is something essential that they need to focus more on this issue. Contractors for example, have to give all of their attention to the process of construction, particularly if they have project to build high rise buildings. Good appearance is not necessary in this working field because workers need to focus on constructing the building safely since a little mistake in the design or basic process can be harmful to lives of workers and other people. That is why most of workers only have to wear comfortable and casual clothes.

To conclude, although some employees, particularly workers who who work in the office, have to keep their appearance in good condition all day long, but I personally believe that quality of work much more important in every type of occupations. It is because workers performance are reflecting how responsible they are in working place.

Writing Feedback / Clothes used by people can be the best indicator to evaluate their background. [2]

Some people say that the clothes people wear the most important indication of what they are the like. others, however, say that people should not be judge by the clothes they wear.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

The clothes used by people can be the best indicator to evaluate their background. However, others believe that clothes should not be used to judge people life. In my point of view, although the way people dress can present several basics information, I would argue that people should not generalize this information which they gain based on appearance towards the way they behave.

The majority of people have different way to express their characters, one of them is through clothes that they use. By using certain materials and clothing styles, people can predict someone's background, such as socioeconomic status. Wearing Giordano's shirt and tie, for example, can indicate that workers who use this branded product are coming from high class, since this product only can afford by rich people. As a consequence, they will receive receive high respect and good treatment from from people surrounding. However, I believe that sometimes people make a wrong interpretation since there are many fake and cheap products that looks similar as branded product.

Appearance is not always considered as reliable indicator to evaluate someone's characteristic. Judging people thru their clothes at the first glance can affect people perception and the way they interact, which is based on misperception. It is because not everyone has the same interest to show who they really are through clothes, accessories, and other possession. For example, Bob Sadino, a successful business man who considered as one of the richest man in Asia, only wears casual t-shirt and short pants regularly, even though in office or formal event. Consequently, most of people misunderstood that the fact he comes from high socioeconomic class. It is evident that people should not judges someone's life only by clothes they used, but they have to investigate more deeply.

All in all, although it is acceptable to use the best clothes in order to make others have a good impression towards them, but I believe that the society do not have right to judge them only by its clothes.

Writing Feedback / The majority of survey's participants express very good relationship with the manager and co-workers [NEW]

The chart below show the results of surveys in 2005 and 2009 asking workers about their relationship with their supervisors and their co-workers.
A comparison of the percentage of surveys outcome about employees relationship towards supervisors and workmate in two different periods, 2005 and 2009, is presented in the pie charts. Overall, it can be seen that the majority of participant express very good relationship with the manager and co-workers in both periods. There was only a slight increases in the percentage of this categories over the period.

According to the graph, the findings from survey in 2005 showed that 61% of workers chose very good category to describe relationship with their supervisor, but this number experienced a slight increase at 65% in 2009. More than a fifth of workers from the total participant in both years described their relationship with manager as good, which was the second highest category. All of the other categories only shows a small percentage in both of periods, under 10%.

Moving to another survey topics that related to workmate affiliation, there was a dominant proportion of people who felt a very good relationship at 63% in 2005, and this folowed by an increase to almost three-quarters in 2009. The categories of good in 2005 almost as equal as in 2009, which is 28% and 25% respectively. Interestingly, most of workers felt a better relationship towards their friend rather than their bosses.

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Writing Feedback / The majority of companies make evaluation that improve their quality to increase the annual revenue. [2]

The purpose of business is to make money and they should only concentrate on this.
Do you agree or disagree?

The majority of companies around the world make evaluation regularly to improve their quality in order to increase their annual revenue. I believe that any kind of businesses run by human beings should not focus on profit only, but also have to do community development programs.

The majority of businesses in every part of the world have the same perspective that the main purpose of its business is to earn maximum profits. Businessman has high-expectancy to expand their business as it is related to the improvement in revenue. The primary focus of companies who want to achieve higher targets each year is also bring good impact for some parties, such as the opening of new branch offices which will indirectly provide employment opportunities for some people. It is evident that target achievement in getting profit has a chain effect for the surrounding environment. However, it does not mean that all the company's focus is only to get great benefits. I would argue that they should pay attention to some other things as well.

There are several things that should be a major concern of companies besides trying to reach its annual target. Community development programs have been run by many large companies around the world, such as Unilever. The company organizes social activities in various fields, such as health, education, and environment. Corporate Social Responsibility (CSR) is a program which is held every year to help the society, particularly in remote areas, by constructing infrastructure and organizing free health check up every six months. In psychological perspective, social activity actually can affect the public interest to use services or products offered by the company.

In addition, the welfare of employees is another important aspect that should be a concern by the company's leaders, because employee is one of the main factors in the achievements of its targets. Employee's condition will affect the quality and production of the products or services provided. Annual bonuses for example, are thought to enhance the performance and productivity of employers.

All in all, the increase in corporate profits should not always be done by increasing sales thru advertising, but there are many other ways even by giving grants to communities. I believe that the welfare of employees and CSR programs are the two factors that have a chain effect on improvement of corporate profits.

Writing Feedback / Married people are more happy than unmarried, but people over the age 56 belong to the happiest. [2]

The charts show the results of a survey on happiness ratings for married and unmarried people in the US, and the effect of children on the overall ratings of married couples.

The first bar chart compares the level of happiness based on marriage status from different ages of groups, while the influence of children or married couple to people happiness is presented in second charts. Overall, it can be seen that married people happier that unmarried, but people over the age 56 is the happiest. Married people will be happier if they have children under 18 years old.

According to the graph, married couple show higher level of happiness than unmarried, which is people from the first three group aged presents two fold higher of feeling happy after married. 34% is the highest figure of happiness levels in unmarried people which experienced by elderly people over the age of 65. Married people from different age group do not show significant differences.

Furthermore, married couple expresses the most happiness by having children under 18 at around 44%. This figure is slightly different from couples with no children and children more than 18 years old, which is 43% and 41% respectively.

Writing Feedback / The usefulness of some electronic devices as an instrument for exchanging information between people [2]

The use of electronic media has a negative effect on personal relationship between people.
To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In this modern era, electronic devices have become one of the basic needs of people life from different socioeconomic status. The main reason of this dependency is the usefulness of this device as an instrument for exchanging information between people. These days, people rely on too much with electronic media, which is show both sides as a coin, and I believe that it brings more negative effect on relationship between people in the real worlds.

The advancement of technology, particularly on the invention of electronic devices in many countries, is expanding rapidly. This improvement affected people's life positively, especially for the relationship of people who lived in a distance. Smartphone and laptop that connected to the internet are very useful to those people because it acts as connector for transferring information, even they can stare at each other through the application on their devices, such as web camera or Skype. The soldiers, for instance, feel the greatest benefits of smartphone, since they work in a very long distance from their family. It is evidence that bonds and relationships between family members or relatives can be maintained for the benefit of the technologist.

Despite of its powerful advantages, advanced technology also leads to decline in relationship of people which interact directly with them. People these days use their high-tech devices, such as smartphone in every time and conditions. This make people become insensitive with the state of their surrounded, because they only focusing its attention to stare at their gadget. In particular conditions, the usage of smartphone can restrict people intention to build a new relationship with the strangers. The body language of people who have always looked down at the phone screen is often regarded as a refusal or neglect by others. In addition, psychologist from Groningen University reveals information that playing too much with electronic devices, particularly which can connect to the internet create wider gap with their close acquaintance. Even if they were in the same place, people tend to be busy with their gadgets, because they consider social media is more interesting than talking in real life

To conclude, despite of the using of electronic media for gaining information and connecting people, I strongly believe that technology advances bring detrimental effect in personal relationship between people in daily live.

Writing Feedback / In this globalization era, many people try to be an entrepreneur, creating their own product/service [NEW]

Some people decide to start their own business instead of working for a company or organization. Do the advantages for people working for their own business outweigh the disadvantages?

In this globalization era, many people try to be an entrepreneur by creating their own product or services. Some people tend to establish their own business, rather than work as officer in a company. I personally believe that there are many benefits by creating their own business than the drawbacks.

People need a lot of bravery to become an entrepreneur and also high motivation to maintain what has been initiated last for a long time. Sometimes people have high expectancy that their products will be accepted by the society. In fact, the process to make own business is always hard. For example, many business men had to borrow large sums of money to the bank to be used as capital for its business, without considering about the possibility of bad things will happen to the business, such as bankruptcy or a lack of interest from the public on their product. As a result, they have to work very hard just to pay the bill and forget their idea to have their own company. Although it is very hard to own private business, I believe that people who solve these problems can enjoy the advantages more.

Creating a business provide several advantages not only to its personal life, but also for other people. A business man can earn more than a half of its profit, every time their product was sold. Not only this, entrepreneur also can help to reduce unemployment rate in the town. Handicraft business in Bali, for example, can help more than a hundred jobless people around the company, by hiring them as a worker. Having own business can also give people higher status and increase their self confidence in the society. It is evident that having own business bring improvement in people's life.

To conclude, although starting own business has always been overshadowed by the enormous risks, I believe that business man can receive more advantage rather than drawbacks.

Writing Feedback / Several problems in study process at the university due to taking a part job can be solved [2]

Some suggest that young people should take a job for a few years between school and university.
Discuss what the advantages and disadvantages might be for people who do this.

Experience is one of the essential aspects that required in the world of work. Some people believe that school leavers need to commit with works for a couple years, before they continue to study in higher level. I believe that take a part in particular job brings advantages to people's life.

Students who engage with an occupation, particularly in the field that they show its passion, will learn profound knowledge about the implementation of a theory and reality that happened in the workplace. As such, they can match the reality with basic knowledge that they gain in the school, and this information will be saved in their memory for long periods, since it is based on personal experience.

In addition, the school leavers who are working for several years can build a wide networking with other employees, ranging from a high position to the regular staff. Based on this, they can have many acquaintances, which can increase the possibility to work at this company again, after they graduate from university. It is evident that it can make school leavers easier to find a job, as they can directly work right after graduated, but in a higher position.

On the other hand, spending too much time for working before continuing study considered as inefficient plan for career path. Employees who do not have basic academic skills tend to be placed in lower position, because they are deemed not to have enough knowledge to work. Administrative workers, for example, have a maximum educational background at the high school level, so that they only receive practical tasks, such as typing or organizing files, rather than tasks that require logical thinking. In addition, after the returning to study at post-secondary education, they sometimes feel awkward and uncomfortable to study with other students who are much younger than their ages. It will influence their social relationship, or even their study result

To conclude, although some people feel several problems in study process at the university due to taking part at a job for several years, I personally believe that they can adapt and tackle these problems, because they will receive much more benefits for their career in the future.

Writing Feedback / The complex process of goods manufacturing starts by collecting raw materials and other components [2]

The diagram below shows the typical stages of consumer goods manufacturing, including the process by which information is fed back to earlier stages to enable adjustment.

The given diagram illustrates several steps of customer products manufacturing and adjustment to its products based on information feedback. Overall, it can be seen that the items productions is a complex process which started by collecting raw materials and other components until marketing the products.

The manufacturing procedure begins with collecting and storage raw materials and manufacturing components. This followed by production planning, which influenced with design from product research. Goods will be installed in accordance with the previous design. Inspection and testing the product must be done to ensure product quality before its packaging in the next steps. Finally, these customer goods send to several supermarkets to be retailing to the society.

In this production and manufacturing process, there are several steps that transmit and receive information feedback. Results of evaluation from marketing process will be sent to production planning and market research, so it can be adjusted based on market condition, while response from market research will influence packaging and advertising. In addition, feedback from testing phase is used in design stage and which led back to product planning stage.

Writing Feedback / Chocolade producing starts with harvesting the ripe red pods from cocoa trees [2]

The diagrams show how chocolate is produced

The diagram illustrates the process of making chocolate. Overall, it can be seen making chocolate pass through several steps, started with harvesting the ripe red pods until chocolate production at the factory.

The process of chocolate manufacturing begins when the ripe red pods from cocoa trees which grown in the South American, Africa, and Indonesia, harvested by the farmers. Then the harvested pods split into two parts in order to remove the white cocoa beans, which is the essential part of this process. But, before it spread over a long board to be dried using sunlight, the beans must go through a fermentation process. Dried cocoa beans need to be placed in huge sacks, which can make it easier to be transported to the factory by train or lorry.

In the factory, after the beans roasted in the oven at a temperature of 350 degrees, it will be crushed on a grinding machine, so the outer shell can be eliminated from the inner part. In last stage, this pressed in a machine in order to produce liquid chocolate. 

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Writing Feedback / An second language should be introducted after the child is mastering the mother tongue. [2]

some people think it is better for children to begin to learn a foreign language at primary school than at secondary school. What is your opinion? Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

In this globalization era, there are many opportunities that require people to use another language, particularly English, than their mother tongue. People believe that it is better for youngster to learn about foreign language since at primary school rather than secondary school. I would argue that this will bring many benefits for children future.

Most of parent this day is applying bilingual method in the house to raise their children as they believe that children who able to master two languages have better career opportunities. However, teaching a new language to kids since in earlier stage increase burden on a child's cognitive and this had a lasting impact on their development. The Chinese, for instance, tend to educate their children with their native language and English since in the primary age. However, research findings by the researchers from Russian show that more than half of these children showed a delay in memorizing the vocabulary from both of these languages compared to monolingual children. As a result, bilingual children would be difficult to master thoroughly compared to monolingual children.

However, I believe that the benefits of learning two languages in primary school outweigh the drawbacks because of several reasons. Most of research had shown that learning a second language in childhood is the effective way to increase intelligence and better cognitive abilities because vocabulary of the new language will stimulate children's brain. Not only this, it will also enhance the multitasking abilities of children as youngster learning to remember the structure of each language at the same age. The most important benefits of this trend is that expands career potentials, so kids have better opportunities to work in overseas.

To conclude, although learning second language showed slower progress to memorizing vocabularies, I believe that learning other language brings more advantages, as long as the parents who provide new language learning in children should pay attention to the age of the child's development and a second language should be given after the child is mastering the mother tongue.

Writing Feedback / Young people will become competent leaders if they gt support and guide by senior person. [2]

Most leaders or directors generally belong to an older age group, but some people believe that young leaders are better. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give your own opinion.

Most of the companies around the world headed by older man, whilst some believe that young leaders more capable to bring the company in achieving its target. I would argue that young people need to give a change to lead the company as long as they fulfill the requirements.

Position as a manager or director of a company is the dream of the workers. However, these positions are only given to certain people, and many companies are likely to choose older people to charge that position because of some reasons. Senior people considered to have profound experience of various situations and problems in the company compared to young people, so it can be used as primary capital to be cautious in determining major decision. Oil companies in Iraq, for instance, chose people with a minimum age of 35 years as one of the requirements to get the position of manager. In addition, placing an older man in strategic position, such as general managers or directors, was also founded on the psychological view. Subordinates will tend to respect and obedience on the orders of superior if they have a much older age.

On the contrary, in line with globalization and competition between co-workers, people began to realize that age is not a powerful reason to assign one's position. Nowadays, young people have a great motivation to increase its capacity meet the specifications as a leader, for example, have a wide knowledge and responsibility. Officer Development Program (ODP), for example, is a program of recruiting fresh graduates to be trained and prepared as a manager or supervisor. It is evident that, many companies, especially banks, are starting to see the potential of young people as leaders.

To conclude, although older people have experience that can be used as a main capital to lead the company, but I believe that young people will become competent leaders if they are supported and guided by senior person.

Writing Feedback / College or university have always been a place that provides knowledge and experience. Why? [2]

People attend college or university for many different reasons (for example, new experiences, career preparation, and increased knowledge). Why do you think people attend college or university?

Education is one of the most important aspects of life that should always be upgraded because of this is long-term investment. Today, many people are motivated to continue their education to a higher level. I would argue that there are many other reasons, either external or internal, behind the interest of people to continue their education.

Internal factors that play an important role in influencing people to continue their education to post-secondary education is motivation. The majority of people have a strong motivation to have well-paid job, so they should prepare to meet certain qualifications, such as, in-depth knowledge and skills related to the field of work. These qualifications is taught and trained on undergraduate programs and master degree. For example, to work as manager of human resources at PT Unilever, prospective employees should at least graduate from masters of management or industrial psychology. In consequence, continuing education to higher level makes people one step closer to getting a good job in comparison with thousands of other job seekers.

In addition, there are several external factors that could be the reasons for people to continue pursue higher education. Social status is still a reason often expressed by university students. Not everyone has the opportunity to attend college, the main cause is related to high cost. Hence, continue their studies the next level makes people viewed as those who can afford, especially if they study at leading universities. In addition, people can expand relationships with others from different background, such as meeting international professors or students. Extensive relationships will be highly beneficial for individuals, especially when trying to find a job.

To sum up, although each person has different reason to continue education into post-secondary level, but I believe that whatever the reasons, college or university have always been a place that provides knowledge and experience.

Writing Feedback / IELTS Task 2 - Career women can trigger juvenile deliquency [2]

The position of women in society has changed markedly in the last twenty years. Many of the problems young people now experience, such as juvenile delinquency, arise from the fact that many married women now work and are not at home to care for their children. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

Public perceptions of the roles and capabilities of women in society have changed dramatically in recent decades. However, this trend had a negative impact for the development of children who have mother as a career woman, so they frequently get involved with juvenile delinquency. I firmly agree that the flurry of women in work and lack of attention to domestic matters are the main factors of this condition.

Nowadays, the numbers of juvenile delinquency is increasing due to changes in family dynamics. The task of earning a living should be a primary task of father as the head of the family, but these day mothers also show interest in working as reasons to help the family economy. Thus, child becomes uncontrollable by both parents and start looking for attention by performing negative actions. For example, children commit misbehavior in the school, such as skipping, smoking, or stealing. Consequently, school principal often call parents and children feel the attention from these measures.

A woman's choice to work did provide significant role in improving the family's economic condition, because often father's revenue is only able to fulfill the basic needs. Children who grew up with working parents obtain an allowance more than adequate and they receive more amenities than their peers. Extra money received by children, often being misused, such as for dissipate, clubbing or even experimenting with drugs. As a result, children falling into severe problems even involved with legal issues. It is evident that mothers play an important role in child development.

All in all, I personally agree that transformations in women's roles become more active in the world of work brought adverse changes in the stability of the family, especially in adolescent development.

Writing Feedback / IELTS Task 2 - What is the best way to decrease crime rate? Prisons or education? [3]

In many countries prisons is considered the best way to decrease crime. However, education is often argued to be more effective way. Which opinion do you most agree with?

In this contemporary era, the number of crime case in many countries shows an increasing every year. The majority of countries do everything possible to prevent figures were increases, and imprisonment is regarded as the most effective way to suppress crime. However, i believe that educating the public is much more effective in preventing and reducing crime.

Prison is a punishment that is most often used by judicial system some countries. Prison sentences considered capable of providing a deterrent for criminals. It is based on the theory of behaviorism in which punishment can be given to eliminate undesirable behavior. In addition, during serving time in prison, people will participate in various programs, such as skills training and religions to build their personality. For example, entrepreneurship training that teaches about the variety that can generate profits, so that people who commit crimes due to poverty can open their own business after completing his sentence.

However, countries that have lower quality of education show higher crime rates. education is an alternative preventative methods to reduce crime. Improving the quality of education is considered capable of lifting welfare and public morality. religious education, for instance, should be taught from an early age so that people have a good self-control to prevent actions that violate religious rules, such as stealing and murder which is prohibited in all religions.

All in all, I believe that the prison will never be as effective as education in reducing the crime rate, because education is a preventive action and the effect will last longer than the prison.

Writing Feedback / Supermarkets and customers can restrict the use of the product packaging. IELTS Task 2 [2]

Some people feel that manufacturers and supermarkets have the responsibility to reduce the amount of packaging of goods. While others argue that customers should avoid buying goods with a lot of packaging. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Packaging and wrapping that covering the food is one of the way in which manufacturers do to maintain the quality of its product. As a large number of production the packaging goods every day, people believe that manufactures and hypermarkets responsible to limit the amount of production of this packaging. Others believe that customers have to restrict purchase items that cover with lots of packaging. I believe that both of them along with the government have their respective roles in this issue.

The factory always need a plastic or paper wrappers for every product produced. To reduce the production of packaging, companies can make its products into large packs. Detergents, for example, can be produced in large sizes, 1 kg or 5 kg, resulting in the production of plastic for retail size can be minimized. As a result, company is able to reduce production cost and earn more profit by marketing larger products. Not only factories, supermarkets as product distributor is also overusing plastic bags. This can be seen clearly that the cashier will give a different bag for each product, such as detergents, snacks, and fruits. However, this can be reduced by applying the rules set by the government, which is implementing a fee for plastic bag. LotteMart, for example, does not provide free plastic bags to its customers, but suggests customer to using cloth bags in order to be reused. The application of these rules does not make them lose customers.

On the other hand, customers also have the responsibility to restrict the use of plastic packaging. Based on the survey results than independent environmental organization (WALHI), the largest contributor of plastic waste in Indonesia are caused by people who use more than three plastic bags every time shopping, and tends to buy a sachet packaging for each product purchases, such as shampoo or soap. Consumers should be able to bring a personal shopping bag every time you shop and buy the products of large packaging.

All in all, although the factory still had to use the packaging to preserve the quality of their products, I believe that the next few years, they might be able to use the packaging material that is easily degraded, while supermarkets and customers can restrict the use of the product packaging.

Writing Feedback / Power-holders in many countries govern several regulations to shelter society from harmful actions [2]

Governments make many rules to protect people from danger, for example, by making people wear seat belts in cars or not allowing smoking in public buildings. However, many people believe that there are too many rules nowadays. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement.

Power-holders in many countries govern several regulations to shelter the society from harmful actions, such us rules-related to safety driving, or prohibit people to smoking in public places. On the other hand, many people believe that the enforcement of many rules make people's life become harder and far from freedom. Although it is true, I do believe that the action of government is really useful to people's life.

People nowadays tend to have negative perception to government and police department due to new regulations which make them feeling restricted. For instance, recent years, there is an increasing in the number of crime rate related to defamation in social media. It led to the implementation of several new rules which involves fines and imprisonment for internet user who commit acts of bullying, insults, or stealing personal information. As a result, this rule has received criticism from people who considers that this rule violates basic human right, which is the freedom of speech and expression.

Government and policymakers see this matter in different perspective. I would argue that they intended to make many regulations because the welfare and the safety of communities is their main goal, so that it is expected will protect them from complicated problems. For instance, police warn people to use seat belt while driving. Basically, this aimed to protect drivers from collision, if they experienced unavoidable accident during their journeys. Not only this, government also prohibit the smokers to smoke in public area because of the smoke is very harmful to health condition of secondhand smokers, particularly for pregnant women. To support this regulation, local government constructs smoking rooms in several points in town.

To conclude, although some regulations sometimes make people feeling restricted, I firmly agree that government have good intention with this regulation. However, they need to socialize the new regulation to society, so they will fully understand about this regulation. 

Writing Feedback / IELTS Task 2 - Should be health budgets spent more to health education? [NEW]

Most developed countries spend a large proportion of their health budgets on expensive medical technology and procedures. This money should be spent instead on health education to keep people well. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

In this contemporary era health matter become the major concern of many governments around the world. Majority of developed countries spent more than half of their annual budget to improve the quality of health system by purchasing high-tech medical devices and create some regulations to make health procedures become better. Others argue that government should allocate most of its budget to give the society health education, and I believe that this manner more effective to keep up people's health.

The improvement upon system and technology in medical field is very essential and most of developed countries had been realize about this matter. They argued that high-tech facility and better system would help to tackle problems related to health. US government, for instance, allocates more than one trillion every year for funding research in health technology. This is aimed to invent advanced devices that can destroy virus and bacteria which causes severe illness with laser, so as in the future, it would reduce death rate and enhances life expectancy of patients

In the other hand, there is always negative effect by relying too much on technology. At basis perception, it is more wisely to allocate higher proportion to educate people about how to maintain their health. This preventive action had been implemented in many developing countries, such as India and Africa. The government and health authorities are responsible for organizing such training and extension about prevention from incurable and fatal disease, like HIV, as they believe that altered the mind set of people is more effective and on-target rather than allocating huge amounts of money for creating sophisticated technology. these methods much easier to implement and more effective in reducing the numbers of people with HIV disease, than waiting the scientist invent technology by trial and error.

All in all, although government in many countries tend to allocate their national budget to purchase advanced medical technology, I firmly agree that government supposed to educate their inhabitants to change their perspective about keeping health, so that is why more budget should be distributed to program related to this matter.

Writing Feedback / IELTS Task 2 - Different objections against skyscrappers [2]

As populations grow and cities become more crowded, there is pressure throughout the world to construct ever-taller building to provide accommodation and offices. Many people object to such developments, citing the social as well as the physical dangers. Do you agree with objections to skyscrapers?

In this century, population of human around the world is increasing significantly and this trend predicted will continue for several years later. As a consequence, there is high demand to the world for constructing high-rise building in order to meet the needs of the citizens for shelter and workplace. On the one hand, many parties objected this development due to the side effects related to social and security problems. I would argue that this will bring some negatives change in people's life.

The establishment some skyscrapers which are continuing for the next century, particularly in the capital city, brings drawbacks to social life of the inhabitants who lived surround. This will create a wide gap between people with different level of socioeconomic status. For instance, Shanghai known as city with thousand skyscrapers which hide the fact about many slums that not worthy to live and escape the attention of the government. As a result, many a crime is committed, such as theft, robbery and murder because of the higher social jealousies experienced by people who feel injustice.

In addition, high-rise building gives some of problems associated with security and safety of citizens. Construction process is often killed labor due to the complexity of building design and the lack of supporting facilities. Not only this, the condition of a high building can be also highly dangerous, especially in areas prone to earthquakes. When an earthquake occurs, tall buildings have a greater potentially to experience the destruction, and the collapse of this building can take more victims. Japan, for example, made regulations not to build more than ten floors for apartments and office buildings. This is done by the government in order to anticipate earthquake which could occur at any time there.

All in all, although there is an increase in demand for high-rise buildings in order to provide accommodations for society, I would argue that both of government and develop need to work together to carry out preventive measures on various issues against complex problems-related to skyscraper in the future

Writing Feedback / IELTS Task 2 - The causes and solutions of student's severe problems [2]

In many countries, schools have severe problems with student behavior. What do you think are the causes of this? What solutions can you suggest?

Education is the key to development of various aspects of life, such as career. However, these days, the quality of education in some countries is still far from enough, and this is compounded by a number of severe problems undertaken by students.

Student misbehavior causes by several factors, both internal and external factor. Students who do not have clear objectives about the future tend to show less motivation to learn in school, so they have a great opportunity to truant from school. Goals to be achieved are internal factor which play a big role to trigger other problems. Not only this, external factor also affect student misbehavior. The neighborhood friendship where students hang out together will determine how students behave in everyday life. People will tend to imitate behavior, ideas, or fashion styles of their closest friends. For example, there are some cases of outstanding students that smoking on school area because of influenced by their friends who are smokers. It is evident that, although people have high intelligence and learning ability, they may change drastically if the environment provides a great influence

Naughtiness performed by the students greatly affected learning outcomes. School parties can anticipate this problem by identifying the interests and talents of students in the beginning of school program, so that teachers were able to direct them to positive activities. For example, channeling student interest in some intra-school student organizations, such as arts, writing, or sports club, can reduce the number of infringe behavior at school. As a result, students will be busy doing positive activities that develop their talents instead of doing things which are not helpful and may violate regulations.

To conclude, student disobedience to several school regulations influenced by internal and external element. The school can take preventive measures or treatment to tackle this problem. However, I believe that this treatment will be more effective if parents take a part in the program.

Writing Feedback / Difficult problem to solve - the global population increase is the greatest problem faced by human [2]

To continued rise in the world's population is the greatest problem faced by humanity at the present time.
What are the causes of this continued rise?
Do you agree that it is the greatest problem faced by humanity?

In this century, population of human around the world is increasing significantly and this trend predicted will continue for several years later. This situation is caused by many reasons and I firmly agree that at this time and the future, it would still become the greatest problem that human beings will face.

The increasing of global population in many parts of the world has caused by several factors. At first, people nowadays have better quality of life rather than people in the past, and it will increase their level of happiness which make human healthier and have better perspective with life. Japanese people, for instance, designated as the happiest people worldwide because they developed healthy way of life. As a result, people in this country have longer live and this followed by high level of birthrate. Another reason is the developments of modern technology which made humans life become easier and help people resolve several major problems in their life. For example, the inventions of anti-cancer machine, which can destroy cancer cells, were able to increase the life expectancy of patients and this will be decrease the death rate.

I believe that the growth of human population is the greatest obstacle that both people and government have to deal with, because it can lead to another complicated problems, such as social and environment matter. The high number of people in a country can lead to the great need for homes and dwellings. This led to the government and a number of developers are doing a variety of ways to accomplish this, such as by making the forest as housing. Consequently, the world is losing the green land and the animals will lose their habitat. In addition this will also cause social inequalities which already exist in society become more visible because of limited job opportunities and more people are becoming unemployed. Consequently, the burden of the country is increasing because of poverty and a high rate of crime in the community.

All in all, the increasing number of human population can be caused by several aspects which is need some effort by individual or the government to prevent before it becomes a difficult problem to be solved.

Writing Feedback / The pictures informs about the development of Stockford village during 1930 until 2010 - IELTS 1 [3]

The maps below show the village of Stokeford in 1930 and in 2010.

The pictures give information about the development of Stokeford village in two different periods, 1930 and 2010. Overall, it can be seen that the most noticeable transformation in this village was the development of residential area alongside the road. In the contrary, there was several building that remained unchanged over 7-decade.

According to the maps, Stakeford experienced the development of housing area which led to changing in the design of road in the middle of village. However, in 1930, two spacious farmlands had been converted with open space and housing area and also two shops located in the north of post office was demolished.

Furthermore, in 2010, primary school expanded its area by adding two new buildings on the east side of the main building. Gardens, which located in the south of primary school in 1930, pulled down and half of this area turned into buildings for retirement house, which is the largest house in town before. Interestingly, post office and the design of bridge and river stoke remain the same over 80 years. 

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Writing Feedback / The hot air goes out of the house through holes in the attic hatch. How heat is lost in a home. [2]

The diagram shows how heat is lost and energy wasted in a house because air getting into and out of the house.

The diagram demonstrates the circulation of air into and out of the house which led to heat losses and waste of energy. Overall, most of the heat in through air vent in the ground floor, whilst the hot air out of the house through holes in the attic hatch.

Air leaks into different part of the house. Fresh air flow into the basement thru window and dryer vent in washing room, and it also came from crawl space that connect to outdoor faucet. In the ground floor, a small amount of air move into bathroom through the power outlet in the wall, while in the other rooms, air pass into the window, door, and kitchen fan vent.

Furthermore, the large amount of air that entering the first floor encourage the release of hot air directly onto the attic hatch, which is the main point of air leaking. Most air out via recessed light both in the bathroom and kitchen. At the final stage of air leaking in the house, air in the attic out into the open space outside the house through the bathroom vent stack and plumbing stack vent

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