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Lafayette - intellectual or creative interest or accomplishment

6 - hey sorry to sat that but i am not very impressed by your essay The college asks your to...

UndergraduateJamesLe - Dec 29, 2009PrettyBoyu - Dec 30, 2009
Brown supplement: inspired by The Cloudspotter's Guide

3 - this sounds a bit strange. is it a catch phrase or some sort? how about : "the more...

Undergraduategarfunkel129 - Dec 29, 2009aikd80cn - Dec 29, 2009
Reverie - NYU supplement - 2050 movie on your life

9 - ...but can she convince humans to choose reality over a virtual paradise? Ha ha, very clever. I really...

Undergraduategumdrop41 - Dec 29, 2009EF_Kevin - Jan 6, 2010
Chemistry department and research opportunities, Emory Supplement (250 words)

3 - I feel like you're just telling them what they already know... but that's kind of the point, I suppose....

Undergraduatekakashi1992 - Dec 29, 2009garfunkel129 - Dec 29, 2009
Media essay - GRE (Issue Topic)

2 - The structure is pretty good; those grammar errors Susan caught are most important. For the structure, you hae...

Writing Feedbackivanka22 - Dec 29, 2009EF_Kevin - Jan 6, 2010
Working with three hundred strangers in the village of Montalban- common app

8 - This is a really good essay. I agree with others, as you should conclude by emhasizing more on...

Undergraduatesohee1992 - Dec 29, 2009badromance - Jan 7, 2010
mechanical or electronic engineering, friend - Why OHIO state university?

2 - Firstly I would like to major in mechanical or electronic engineering, and your faculty sounds(i don't think sounds is...

Undergraduateabhi0592 - Dec 29, 2009NatMeng - Dec 29, 2009
the spectrometer, My common application 150 words activity essay

2 - I sat before the direct-reading spectrometer, having no idea about that extremelywhat the complex and profound piece of equipment...

Undergraduatefrankhfls - Dec 29, 2009garfunkel129 - Dec 29, 2009
engineering, Northwestern Supplement Essay

3 - U're rite!! i'l change it. thanx alot!...

Undergraduatemsn - Dec 29, 2009msn - Dec 29, 2009
"I'm normal in some ways" - Stanford supplement: letter to roommate

4 - I like your essay... perhaps add more quirky details; intersperse them throughout your essay using specific references. Perhaps you...

Undergraduategarfunkel129 - Dec 29, 2009kakashi1992 - Dec 29, 2009
'Writing that haiku' - Pomona Supplement - Fun activity

6 - At 2:00 a.m., four friends and I packed our bags and set out toward [name of school] high school....

Undergraduategumdrop41 - Dec 29, 2009EF_Kevin - May 22, 2010
Review of Statement of Purpose- Msc Petroleum Engineering

3 - Thank you so much susan. I'll make the corrections right away....

GraduateAdeola - Dec 29, 2009Adeola - Jan 4, 2010
'I extremely strive to pursue Masters in Financial Mathematics'

11 - Thanks a lot, A. Smith! I have significantly changed my motivation letter. Anyways, thanks a lot for your...

Graduateaiglos - Dec 29, 2009aiglos - Jan 31, 2010
"Twirling Noodles" - Occidental Supplement - Personal Habits

2 - For me, it lost some clarity at the start because I did not know what ISM was... maybe the...

Undergraduatecucciola21 - Dec 29, 2009EF_Kevin - Jan 6, 2010
How 4 letters have influenced my life

6 - To Calico:I can understand how difficult it must be for you. And I will most definitely take up your...

UndergraduateCollegeMar - Dec 29, 2009CollegeMar - Dec 31, 2009
NYU SUPP-- 2050 movie, short poem, why NYU

7 - focus more on the change that you had from 2009...

Undergraduatechanj - Dec 29, 2009chuncky13 - Jan 7, 2010
NYU Supplement- Movie, New Yorker, and Studies

4 - i reworked the first one. tell me if this sounds better... As a child, I was always one...

UndergraduateIVSolomon - Dec 29, 2009IVSolomon - Dec 29, 2009
Why Am I interested in Engineering? - Cornell Supplement

3 - I think I may have commented on another of your essays recently, and I think I remember saying...

Undergraduatedorkiilove - Dec 29, 2009EF_Kevin - Jan 6, 2010
Day with the suphero named Daredevil - NYU Prompt 1

9 - If I could spend a day with any New Yorker it'd be Matt Murdoch, lawyer during the day and...

Undergraduatenogasa - Dec 29, 2009nogasa - Dec 29, 2009
John, my grandfather- Heritage Essay for Supplement

2 - I think that first paragraph has to end with another sentence about how this affects you as the sum...

Undergraduatepmurray62 - Dec 29, 2009EF_Kevin - Dec 30, 2009
Stanford supplemental essays: language+evolution; my personality; S's students

2 - No! You can't make me! (that is what the reader's mind shouts when an essay begins this way....

Undergraduatecitadel01 - Dec 29, 2009EF_Kevin - Dec 30, 2009
Common App Essay- People's influence on me- The Little Heroes

3 - They carried their one-inch sharpened pencils and their dog-eared and water-beaten(water-beaten or weather-beaten?) books in a burlap sacks that...

Undergraduatechanj - Dec 29, 2009bluemenon - Dec 29, 2009
Pomona Supplement- my trip to Alaska

2 - Here are a few thoughts for you: Generally speaking, in the U.S. we only use single quotation...

UndergraduateHBZ - Dec 29, 2009Notoman - Dec 29, 2009
Theinfluence 4 letters have had on my life.

4 - 3,113 Americans in the United States share the same last name as me. I don't...

UndergraduateCollegeMar - Dec 29, 2009qomoco - Dec 29, 2009
"Prejudice is at the heart of misunderstanding." - Common App Essay

4 - When I read that first paragraph, I think that you should move everything after this into paragraph 2: After...

Undergraduatetwixster - Dec 29, 2009EF_Kevin - Jan 6, 2010
Common App: Personal Statement (Brass Buddy)

8 - The last sentence is very awkward. Perhaps you could say something like: I know that I'll be able...

Undergraduateparanormale - Dec 29, 2009invisiblewriter - Dec 29, 2009
"Engineers turn ideas into reality" - Cornell Supplement!

4 - I ended up writing it on some experience and how it affected my view toward engineering. and starting off...

UndergraduateFakeWingZ - Dec 29, 2009FakeWingZ - Dec 29, 2009
UPenn Communities Essay... a balance between work and play

4 - 'This program explores the historical connections between the Black and Jewish communities in an effort to improve relations between...

UndergraduateMjtorain - Dec 28, 2009mitzimadrid - Dec 29, 2009
Story of My Own - NYU Poem Prompt #2 (comment for comment?)

9 - Okay so I submitted this app a little while ago, but now I'm wondering whether or not i should...

Undergraduatenogasa - Dec 28, 2009nogasa - Jan 18, 2010
Main Common App Essay--An Experience that Impacted You

2 - You have such an elegant writing style, very nice sentences. Okay, this essay is beautifully written, and...

Undergraduateessayhelp - Dec 28, 2009EF_Kevin - Dec 29, 2009
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