okorobiadimma14
Mar 23, 2017
Writing Feedback / Convenience food / city people for writing IELTS task 2 [2]
Heru, your essay failed to answer the prompt as it seems you did not understand the requirements of the essay. In the first instance, you are expected to paraphrase the topic question in your introductory paragraph and develop a thesis statement which agrees or disagrees with the premise depicted in the prompt. The thesis statement gives an overview of what the reader will expect in the 2-3 paragraphs which form the body of the essay. The next line of action is to develop the points that are captured in your thesis statement. Each point is discussed in a separate paragraph accordingly with examples where necessary. Having developed your thesis statement, you are expected to conclude your write-up in a concise manner without further explanations. Your current draft shows that you have a very significant weakness in English Grammar. I suggest you acquire some English Grammar texts and other related materials that will help to enhance your sentence construction and grammatical accuracy. Right now, this essay will not fetch you any score more than a 3.
Heru, your essay failed to answer the prompt as it seems you did not understand the requirements of the essay. In the first instance, you are expected to paraphrase the topic question in your introductory paragraph and develop a thesis statement which agrees or disagrees with the premise depicted in the prompt. The thesis statement gives an overview of what the reader will expect in the 2-3 paragraphs which form the body of the essay. The next line of action is to develop the points that are captured in your thesis statement. Each point is discussed in a separate paragraph accordingly with examples where necessary. Having developed your thesis statement, you are expected to conclude your write-up in a concise manner without further explanations. Your current draft shows that you have a very significant weakness in English Grammar. I suggest you acquire some English Grammar texts and other related materials that will help to enhance your sentence construction and grammatical accuracy. Right now, this essay will not fetch you any score more than a 3.