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Posts by Vns9x
Name: Shon Do
Joined: Sep 23, 2014
Last Post: Jul 5, 2015
Threads: 102
Posts: 230  
From: Russia
School: Gymnaisym 123

Displayed posts: 332 / page 8 of 9
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Vns9x   
Oct 9, 2014
Writing Feedback / Teacher can only lead you to the right avenue to walk on, besides he/she can't force you to study. [2]

Some people think that they can learn better by themselves than with a teacher #1 (permalink) Tue Jan 11, 2011 1:09 am Some people think that they can learn better by themselves than with a teacher

It has always been a controversial question when it comes to decide studying alone or with the teacher. Since it really depends upon the person more than the teacher. Teacher can only lead you to the right avenue to walk on. Moreover, teacher cannot force you to study. That is why, studying alone is better.

First and foremost, it does not even matter whether you study or alone or not. Because if you really intend to study then nothing can obstruct your way. Devotion and motivation are the essential keys to be successful in study. Even though, having a teacher can also be useful for the reason that they can teach you in the right way. However, it does not make that much impact on your studies. While studying alone, you can have lots of time. But when you study with a teacher you will not have much time to delve in your assigments. Since she can only teach in a certain amount of time. To clarify it, imagine yourself having a tutor. The tutor will attempt to teach quickly you something in a specific amount of time. Because they have to go home and rear their kids.

Secondly, eventually everybody will have to be independent. It is inevitable since the teacher cannot follow you step- by-step. Consequently, studying alone can make you more mature. Furthermore, studying alone can teach how to be more organized. Since you will have the opportunity to schedule oneself properly. That is also really useful quality living independently. For instance, you will have to organize your timetable in order to finalize your homework . Also, it can help you to schedule yourself, in case you want to dance or box and so on.

By way of a conclusion based on the arguments explored above. I have a strong belief studying alone is much more better than studying with the teacher. Because, it will force you to be a flexible person .Furthermore, studying alone will give you more time to gradually comprehend the new information.
Vns9x   
Oct 8, 2014
Writing Feedback / My diamond like best friend - descriptive essay [2]

to be honest it is pretty touching essay. Therefore, well done!
i can only advise you to change for example into for instance or by way of an illustration ;D
Vns9x   
Oct 8, 2014
Writing Feedback / Supervisor must have a deep knowledge about human, in case something will suddenly emerge [2]

Qualities that a good supervisor should have. Use specific details and examples.

Being a supervisor can be really tough since you will have to understand people's circumstances. Moreover, you have to be experienced in filtering people out. That is why, being experienced in reading the situation and being careful with choosing people are qualities that a good supervisor must have.

Nowadays, people have disparate types of problems. Furthermore, it is unpredictable. Consequently, a supervisor must identify whether it is a lie or an incident. To clarify it, envision yourself as a supervisor. Once, there is a worker who seems to be slouching. A normal human being can received it as being lazy and we must immediately fire him before he ruins our project. However, it can be more complicated than something that is appearing in front of our eyes. It might that his relatives have just died recently or siblings and so on. Therefore, a supervisor must have a profound knowledge of humans live in order to apply. Since the worker can be really good at the certain job. And he plays a vital role in your company. In other words, it will definitely help him when it comes to making the right decisions.

The second quality that a supervisor must have is being crafty. A supervisor must know how to identify whether the worker is fruitful or not. You should be very good at putting the right person at the right position.. Otherwise, it will lead your subsidiary or headquarter being bankrupt. By way of an illustration, if you choose the novice to do your work, then I am pretty sure that he will fail it, Since he is not experienced enough to do it. He can get deceived by variety of types of liars. Hence, choosing the correct person is an essential thing.

By way of a conclusion based on the arguments explored above. I have a strong belief that a supervisor must have a deep knowledge about human, in case something will suddenly emerge. And nevertheless, a supervisor must be careful in picking the exact person to flourish your company.
Vns9x   
Oct 7, 2014
Writing Feedback / Altruism and sacrifice - people donate money for a reason [2]

The reading passage and the lecturer discuss the topic of Altruism. The professor casts doubt on some several key beliefs about the Altruism as they are presented in the reading passage.

To begin with, the professor explains that a meerkat which standing guard usually has a habit eating before guarding. Consequently, it always has a full stomach before protecting its comrades, Moreover, the protector have more likelyhood to run away from the predators. For the reason that, the proctetor will be the first who sees predators. Nevertheless, when the protector warn others by alarming. it can make other fellows in more dangerous circumstance since his comrades might commence an escape and since they often hunt with a group. Thus, it will draw an attention from the predators. This directly refutes the assertion in the reading passage that claims that it is Altruism.

In terms of people, they can donate money for respects or appreciation or so on. Again, this appears to be a contradiction to the information that stated in the reading passage, which affirms that it is the sacrifices. In other words, that is sacrifice

please check it out and advice me;D
Vns9x   
Oct 7, 2014
Writing Feedback / Experiencing is much more pivotal than reading a book because it is more realistic. [2]

It has been said, "Not everything that is learned is contained in
books." Compare and contrast knowledge gained from experience
with knowledge gained from books. In your opinion, which source
is more important? Why?

Millions of people are reading books since it has numerous useful information to comprehend. Yet, the rest are always learning something new about this life by experiencing in numerous circumstances. However, I firmly believe that experiencing is better then looking at the book.

While books can provide us with lots of knowledge or even author's experiences. Furthermore, books can greatly make an huge impact on our life. Since, you will encounter disparate perspectives and life stories in the book. However, I do not consider it enough. Because, knowledge is still knowledge and without practical experience, then you cannot apply the information you learned to your life. Consequently, your knowledge going to be a waste. By way of an illustration, just imagine yourself reading a book how to become a soldier. It is perfectly understandable that you will have some tips how to become a soldier. However, you will not have to shoot or suffer from endless training sessions . Moreover, that book contains author's experiences not yours. Thus, it might be profitable for you only in some ways.

Moreover, sometimes experiencing can be more beneficial since it will force you to actually comprehend the certain information. However, a book does not obligate you to savvy its knowledge. Anyhow, being in some specific situation can really broaden your mind, For the reason that, book cannot contain worldwide knowledge. It is simply limited. After reading some chapters of book. It does not mean that you are more experienced. Since that story will not happen to you. But once you step outside you can approximately rate yourself. Obviously, from that point it will teach how to handle in many difficult moments with no mercy.

By way of a conclusion based on the arguments explored above. I have a strong belief that experiencing is much more pivotal than reading a book because it is more realistic.
Vns9x   
Oct 6, 2014
Writing Feedback / A job should mean a job for life! [3]

A job should mean a job for life. Do you agree or disagree? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

A job is the way we earn a living or even the way supporting our future . As analysed above, I completely agree with the statement.

Generally, a job is the thing that everyone wants to have after their graduation, it can be from the university or school and so on. It really depends upon their circumstances. However, all of them have the same objective. It is to create a sustainable career in order to survive in this cruel world. By way of an illustration, I can recall a random guy who is still studying at school since the only way to acquire a proper job is to have proper qualifications.

Moreover, our life cannot go well with everything without money for the reason that we might catch a cold or some hazardous unexpected diseases. And a job is the first and the last way to obtain money to prepare us for the contingency and for the current time simultaneously. Despite this possibility, numerous people attempt to rely on the government's aid or on their insurance. However, it is not the most stable solution for your life anyhow. Since you always have to rely on your own instead of waiting for somebody to help you. To clarify it, imagine yourself being sick and alone. Subsequently you must have an enough amount of money to cure yourself. The money from the government will not be always in time. Sometimes, government will not even support you since you are not the only person on this planet are sick.

By way of a conclusion based on the arguments explored above. I have a strong belief that our job means our job for our life. Because, It plays a huge role in our career. Furthermore, it provides us with precious thing such as money. Which can reinforce us in tremendous challenging situation that might about to happen prematurely.
Vns9x   
Oct 5, 2014
Writing Feedback / There are no such things as freedom and security without independence - importance in your life [2]

Which do you feel is more important in your life: security or freedom and independence? Use reasons and specific examples to support your opinion.

There are no such things as freedom and security without independence. It is simply impossible. You cannot live freely and secured while your country is occupied. Consequently, those things are hand in hand . As analysed above, I have a strong belief that all of them are pivotal.

On one side of the coin, independence is the thing that is imperative in order to obtain both security and freedom. To clarify it, numerous countries are fighting for their independence. For the reason that, they know, once they obtain it. Then it will lead them toward freedom and security. In other words, their citizens will be furnished with safety and freedom. Which are the things that every single country on this planet desires.

On the other side of the coin, an independent nation means free and secured nation. Thus, those qualities cannot be separated. Furthermore, the only way to obtain freedom and security is by possessing absolute independence. Freedom and security cannot exist, while there is no truly achieved independence.

Those are qualities that really are attached to each other. We cannot choose one of them. Because of the logical aforementioned reason. In addition to that, people who are living in an occupied country can never feel secured and free since they will constantly be worrying about their life and kids even their futures. Thus, the certain country must have an independence to let their people experience the safeness and freedom. Their surroundings must be stable and safe and only from that moment ,their people can truly feel freedom and security simultaneously.

By way of a conclusion based on the arguments explored above. I firmly believe that independence must exist in order to have both freedom and security. That is why those 3 qualities can not be detached.
Vns9x   
Oct 5, 2014
Writing Feedback / Do you want do everything by your own hand without expecting to rely on somebody? Work on your own! [7]

PLEASE DO NOT START A NEW THREAD ON THE SAME TOPIC - CONTINUE IN THE OLD ONE INSTEAD!

Modified contrast essay!

The reading and the lecture discuss about working on your own. The professor casts doubt on several key beliefs about working individually.

Firstly, the professor explains that bureaucracy is inevitable. Since to create a new business you have to have license and approval from the government and so on. Therefore, it can be really stressful. Moreover, during your work it might happen that you and your comrades have different initiatives. Hence, it can come to conflict and quarrels. In fact, your comrade can decide to quit then bureaucracy will appear. Thus, this directly refutes the assertion in the reading passage that there will be no bureaucracy working on your own.

Secondly, the professor explains that it can be really inconvenient working on your own. Since nobody will give you a hand . In other words, you cannot rely on anybody. Specifically, you cannot take a sick day, or a day off. The professor statistically inform us that 75% of new companies are failed to survive in the first 6 months. Therefore, the argument that says working alone has a better job security is flawed.

...
Vns9x   
Oct 5, 2014
Writing Feedback / Do you want do everything by your own hand without expecting to rely on somebody? Work on your own! [7]

Vangiespen , the prompt is to contrast the arguments and examples given by the lecturer and the article.

Reading passage: The number of people in the US who are quitting their corporate jobs to start their own businesses is growing. One recent best-selling book entitled Fire your Boss! seems to reflect the growing discontent with company life. Why are so many people going into their own businesses?

One of the most frustrating things about corporate life is the bureaucracy. This is the administrative system of paperwork and red tape that keeps track of everything in the corporation. Any decision must be agreed upon by many people in different departments and levels of the company. This can be very frustrating for individual employees who want to have control over their own work. They can become exasperated when their good ideas get tied up for months in the bureaucratic machinery. Employees often long the freedom of being their own boss.

...
Vns9x   
Oct 5, 2014
Writing Feedback / Do you want do everything by your own hand without expecting to rely on somebody? Work on your own! [7]

watch?v=5ds7OaBHH-A

The lecturer explained why working on your own does not mean that it will be better then working as an employer. There are the following three reasons.

First of all, you cannot evade working with partners since creating a new business must have some people are working inside it. Consequently, It is inevitable to escape from bureaucracy. For instance, you work with comrades and you and your fellows will have different ideas. Thus, it will cause lots of conflict and misunderstanding. This directly refutes the reading passage which states that you will get rid of bureaucracy immediately after setting up your own business.

Secondly, working on your own can be really inconvenient. By way of illustration, the lecturer observes that if you catch a cold or being lazy then you can not rely on anyone. Therefore, statistics show us 75% of all new companies are failed to sustain in the first 6 months.

Thirdly, you will not get any benefits from health care or pension or insurance from the government for the reason that you work by oneself. It is still better to have a little bit than nothing in some ways. Again, this can be really inconvenient and contradicts the reading passage that stated working on your own is more beneficial.

All in all, working by yourself is not better than working as an employer because you will have to do everything by your own hand without expecting to rely on somebody. Moreover, you will obtain completely nothing from the government such as pensions and insurance and so on.

This is my first contrast essay. Thus, any strict advice would be helpful for me :D
That link contains both lecture and the reading passage x3
Vns9x   
Oct 4, 2014
Writing Feedback / Security vs freedom - living freely is much more important than security. [2]

Which do you feel is more important in your life: security or freedom and independence? Use reasons and specific examples to support your opinion.

Having freedom and independence is the thing that everyone wants to achieve. Since it furnishes us with an unlimited journeys and experiences that security's life might not provide. As analysed above, I consider freedom and independence is more crucial.

Generally, being free means you have variety of choices in your life. Moreover, our life is so short to even envision about it. Consequently, it is really important to have freedom and independence simultaneously in order to fully relish the beauty of this world. Otherwise, you will feel regret once you become old because you have not indulge the freedom or independence. By way of illustration I can imagine people who live freely and travelling around the world to obtain additional knowledge rather than the person who live in a cage, scare that something would happen badly. Obviously, it is more beneficial to have freedom and independence. Of course, it really depends on the taste of the person. However, I firmly believe that the majority of people must concur with me.

More than that, it is all about having fun on this planet. Therefore, It is not the best circumstance dwelling in this world thinking about our safety. We all are heading toward one goal called happiness. In fact, it can only be obtained by enjoying our life, having family, kids, futures. Furthermore, to obtain those things freedom and independence must be included. For instance, our super stars, they always complaining about lack of happiness. It is perfectly understandable since people do not let them to truly expose themselves because living as star is really challenging, you always have to act in a right way. Otherwise, you will lose your fans. As a result, they feel pathetic and lonely at the same time.

By way of a conclusion based on the arguments explored above. Living freely is much more important then security. For the reason that you can not grab happiness and picturesque world without it. Without freedom and independence means restricting yourself to be happy in this miracle world.
Vns9x   
Oct 3, 2014
Writing Feedback / Too much attention on small things! [4]

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? People pay too much attention to the less important things in life and fail to see the larger issues. Use specific reasons and details to explain your opinion.

Humans are very materialistic and greedy creatures. Since, the day we first step on this planet till these days. Consequently, it hinders our view about this world. In particular, nowadays those things can be money and utility for human beings.

First and uppermost, the majority of people consider that living with a huge amount of money is the best way to obtain the happiness. Consequently, many people will try to earn as much money as possible in many different way. In other words, it can be smuggling or even worse. Of course, not everybody live that way because some of them obey to the law. But, the rest of them do. Therefore, for numerous people money is the number one priority. They do not even care how other people suffers from that. By way of an illustration, a guy whose job is selling drugs. Obviously, he does it for his own family or for oneself. But just imagine yourself if the entire world going to earn money that way.

On the other side of the coin, a huge group of people fail to observe this place as their home because of the daily convenience. To clarify it, the person who is a commuter. Unfortunately, he lives a long way from work without having any bus stop or subway nearby and so on. Hence, he will have to use his private vehicle, which contaminates our environment. Subsequently, our planet is gradually being polluted and it leads us toward global warming. It can also apply to tremendous factories that made by human for the reason that factories emit emissions such as some chemical gases which are dangerous and harmful for our miracle planet.

By way of a conclusion based on the arguments explored above. I completely concur with the statement due to human's greediness and lack of liabilities of our planet.

i would like to hear some critics ;D
Vns9x   
Oct 1, 2014
Writing Feedback / Internet is the most considerable invention due to its simplicity of gaining new knowledge. [3]

Many people say that the internet is the most important invention ever. Do you agree or disagree with this and if not, what do you believe to be more important? Use specific reasons and examples to support your opinion.

Numerous people believe that Internet is not the most crucial invention ever, since Internet is only one of many parts of our invention. However, i strongly believe that it is the most significant invention ever, because of its convenience and the rapidity.

First and uppermost, majority of people must agree with me, it is really convenient in every aspect of our life for the reason that it facilitates our life. In other words, it will make our life much more simple. However, it does not apply to every person on this planet, because tremendous people in this world do not understand how to utilize Internet in the exact way. Therefore, it is a complicated thing for them. But I believe that many people these days know how to get the most out of the Internet. By way of illustration, I can envision a person who wants to purchase a pizza without Internet. Consequently, he has to run over the restaurant that might locate a long way from his house. Therefore, it is really inconvenient and uncomfortable. Moreover purchasing a pizza is not the only thing we can do using Internet It can also apply to purchasing clothes, book a room or a table in the restaurant, communicating to our friends and family or seeking your other half.

On the other side of coin, Internet is the virtual world where you can find almost every single piece of information in any aspects of our life. However, there are some secret information that not every human being can access. Despite this possibility, not many group of people need it. Furthermore, it is about ordinary citizens who need their task done as soon as possible. For instance, you obligated to finalize numerous assignments from your school or university. However, you do not have an ample time to settle down. Thus, Internet is an invention that will solve any problem associated with searching new information.

By way of a conclusion based on the arguments explored above. I strongly believe that Internet is the most considerable invention due to its simplicity and the velocity of obtaining or gaining new knowledge.
Vns9x   
Sep 30, 2014
Writing Feedback / Separating Male and female ! Gender Segregation in Schools [3]

Gender Segregation in Schools Do you agree or not use specific examples and details to support your answer!

Studying at the same school !

It has been a controversial question, whether it is correct to separate both genders attending at the same school. Many people believe, it is going to be a distraction, since these days young generation tend to date prematurely. However, I consider it is beneficial to allow both genders studying together for the reason that it will provide opposite gender better at understanding each other. Moreover, both male and female must possess a perfect communication skill in order to be tailored to this complicated life.

First and uppermost, school is the best place in conversing with many people. Furthermore, going to school is the period of shaping our skills in numerous facets. Thus. It would be profitable if the school contains both genders in order to perfect oneself. By way of an illustration, I can envision a male who does not communicate any single female at school. Then, once he steps out from school. He will not have any experience about it. Therefore, it is better if the school was be the place that could obtain those experiences.

On the other side of the coin, We as human being cannot deny that encountering with opposite gender after school is inevitable. Since we are living in one society and dwelling on the same planet, eating the same meals, seeing each other and so on. Hence, we must face reality as soon as we can since the later you wait the more challenging it is going to be. For instance, Imagine, a guy who has never approached any single girls in his life. He will have to overcome his shyness. Despite this possibility, it does not apply for every person. However, it is more about majority. Most of guys in this world necessitate some time to get accustomed communicating with the opposite gender.

By way of a conclusion based on the arguments explored above. I have a strong belief that we must study together at the same school, because it will be more profitable due to communication skills, also it will shape us into the person that would fit in well with our society.
Vns9x   
Sep 30, 2014
Writing Feedback / experience vs. taking advice [2]

First of all, you have to at least paraphrase the statement. Otherwise, it will either show the raters that you do not have enough creativity or lack of vocabulary!
Vns9x   
Sep 29, 2014
Writing Feedback / People should satisfy with their destiny because we can not change - Toefl exam essay [3]

First of all, we almost are in the same situation;D. Ironically my test is going to be in the middle of December. Anyhow do not forget about layout. Furthermore what does this mean,,,We have to aisle to our dream without concern about unnecessary thing'' i really advise you to replace the word aisle into something else.;) There are tiny problems suck as caps lock e.t.c. Overall good job!
Vns9x   
Sep 28, 2014
Writing Feedback / New announcements from our president [4]

It has recently been announced that a new restaurant may be built in your neighborhood. Do you support or oppose this plan? Why?
Use specific reasons and details to support your answer.


Personally, I totally oppose with the upcoming plan of new construction. I consider it is a little bit useless for the majority of people, since eating in restaurant can be really expensive. Moreover, it would disturb our daily activities at home such as works because of the noises.

First and foremost, in terms of expenses, Not many people in our neighborhood can spend that much of money for the meals in restaurant because of our lack of salary. Most of us are underprivileged. Furthermore, a large group of people who are living with me know how to cook properly really well, and restaurant might not provide us with the taste that we used to eat. By way of an illustration, I can recall myself eating in the restaurant. Unfortunately, there was no meal ,which can be substituted the delicacies that my mom usually does for me. Also, ironically it ended up with a huge bill.

On the other side of the coin, Numerous neighborhoods must agree with me. It is going to be really noisy outside because of the customers and clients of the restaurant. In the other words it would mar our peaceful atmosphere. For instance. I can envision myself an old guy, who is living next to me reading a newspaper and drinking a cup of coffee simultaneously. Then dozens of people are going to be screaming, talking, indulging in the restaurant and outside of the restaurant. Thus, it is pretty uncomfortable and awkward. As for me and many other human being on this planet, we need to do tremendous researches and assigments of our company. Consequently, me and my neighborhood requires some peaceful environment in order to finalize our job or relishing the nature of the earth.

By way of a conclusion based on the arguments explored above. I strongly disagree with the forthcoming plan of a new restaurant due to our salary and cooking skills. But, most importantly, those noises that we are about to suffer.

Any tough advice would be appreciated and liked ;D
Vns9x   
Sep 28, 2014
Writing Feedback / Teacher can either affect positively or negatively so being strict and hard disciplined is necessary [5]

Teacher can either affect positively or negatively so being strict and hard disciplined is necessary

What are some important qualities of a good school teacher? Use specific details and examples to explain why these qualities are important.

Numerous people consider that teachers must be kind and easygoing to be obtained the good connection with the kids. Yet, the rest think that teachers must be strict and hard disciplined in order to create the child that would fit in well with our society. Personally for me, I find second statement more logical and righteous.

First and uppermost, in terms of strict, Tremendous people must agree with me that it is pivotal because usually kids do not tend choosing the right path to walk on and some of them might falter from the correct path. Moreover, they are often conservative. Therefore, it is important to be strict.
Vns9x   
Sep 27, 2014
Writing Feedback / Teacher can either affect positively or negatively so being strict and hard disciplined is necessary [5]

What are some important qualities of a good school teacher? Use specific details and examples to explain why these qualities are important.

From the point of view of the future educator. I consider being strict is one of the most essential quality that teacher should have, since it will help you to be respected and it will give your subject more attention and the quality of learning your subject. Beside that, I think being patient is also another pivotal quality because the speed of comprehension of children is different.

First and uppermost, in terms of strict, this quality can help teacher becoming more different than the rest of the teachers who are easygoing. Consequently, it will draw an attention of children learning your subject. As a result, the child is going to have a better performance and outcome. However, this quality does not apply to small group of child for the reason that children are unique Because they might have variety of personalities and mindset. Despite this possibility, I strongly believe it will work on most of the child these days.

On the other side of the coin, the quality of being patient is also fundamental. Because being a teacher can be really challenging, since you will confront numerous problems .By way of illustration I can recall myself being a slow learner, so it took from my teacher at least 4 hours explaining the topic that I could not comprehend in the lesson. Furthermore, I might be not the only pupil who had trouble about savvying the lesson's topic. Therefore, it is really stiff being a teacher. However, as the aforementioned possibility it does not apply to every human being on this planet, but I am talking about majority.

By way of a conclusion based on the arguments explored above. I strongly believe that being patient and strict are important qualities that every good teacher must have. Hopefully, I will become the embodiment of the perfect teacher qualities that I just mentioned, when the time to be teacher comes.

Assess me as tough as you can, i really appreciate for all your helps x3

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