Writing Feedback / The cutting-edge technology has led media to more accessible in individuals' lives. [4]

It is more and more difficult to escape the influence of the media on our lives. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of living in a media-rich society.

The cutting-edge technology has led media to more accessible in individuals' lives. It brings positive effects for society such as being famous, connecting and getting information, and having business. Yet, the negatives effects cannot be denied like manipulating and addicting. I believe that media takes a big role in daily human's activity.

Mass media has separated in every aspect in inhabitants particularly in order to make people to be more convenience. Firstly, because of media, many people become famous. For example, PSY, a male singer from South Korea became popular thanks to uploading video on social media. Secondly, easy access offered by internet leads people to improve knowledge and keep-in-touch by social media. Lastly, advertising on media facilitate people to sell the product. From media, people are able to create business particularly online business.

Media is of precarious influence for a large number of society. Firstly, the press is utilized for manipulating since candidate on political tried to brainwashing in order to win on election. For example, the candidate in the election attracted sand manipulated several population by advertising in electronic and mass media. Next, game-online provided by media brings consequences for youth which encourages people in addiction. They incline to be individualism because lack of sense in social life and quality time for studying.

To sum up, digital and non-digital media lead to be selfish and cause mind controller on society, however, the important part of media is applied in massive sector of routine. It is imperative that media should be utilized wisely for wide population.

Writing Feedback / Manufacturing Tea: only 2 top leaves and bud are picked in order to guarantee the good tea's quality [4]

The diagram illustrates the process of black tea production. Overall, it can be seen that there are 2 ways for creating tea, traditional and modern method

At first, the tea picker just takes the tea leaves which only 2 top leaves and bud in order to guarantee the good tea's quality. Next, the leaves is put on the racks and air from fan passed through leaves until 60% of moisture is out.

Then, the process would be divided by 2 methods. In one hand, the traditional method, the leaves are done by rolling in which leaves is rolled, flat and broken while the modern method, those needs to be cut, turn, and curled. As a result, both produce enzymes. While those are combined with air, it leads oxidation which rolled leaves spread on tiles or cement. Afterwards, the leaves changes to copper colour as a sign of fermentation. Before being a fix black tea, the leaves are dried in oven or hot air dryers in order to release flavour and smell while those remain 3% of total moisture in fixed black tea.

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Writing Feedback / Young People Have Little Leisure Time (Causes and Solutions) The new obligation for young generation [3]

In some countries young people have little leisure time and are under a lot of pressure to work hard on their studies.
What do you think are the main causes? What solutions can you suggest?

Virtual youngster, in several locations, do not have enough time for hobbies and they are in under pressure to study hard. Competition among children and the favourite university are the main causes of this phenomena. The positive support from the big roles and new regulation from officers are able to handle this problem. I believe that parents and teachers able to overcome.

The majority of students are more likely to devote their time at school since they are of a competitive character each individual and the higher university is the aim after graduating. Firstly, each student creates the competitive atmosphere on studying. Walia Lily and team at Maharishi Markandeshwar Medical College and Hospital, India studied regarding to the anxiety problem faced students at examination. In 2015, 91.81 % Indian youngsters have excessive anxiety to be the worst in examination. Secondly, the high standard of university motivate youngster to study intensively. Thus, the favourite school and competition leads children to study more.

There are several solutions to solve this problem. Firstly, government should re-examine the system education based on individual's talent. For example, in Finland, system education is measured by personal ability. Secondly, the guidance from parents and teachers plays a pivotal important. The evidence from Mahoney and Stattin's (2000) study revealed that the more effective parents' guide their adolescent's choice of leisure activities towards structured pursuits. So, parents' and teachers' characters have a big influence, government policy either.

To sum up, the invisible competition among students and the high education are the reason of lacking rest time, however, the educational stakeholders at home and in school are able to accommodate their leisure time. It is imperative that headmaster should review the new obligation for young generation.

Writing Feedback / The line graph describes the progression of total railroad journey visitors in the United Kingdom [2]

IELTS writing Task 1 : The Passenger Railway Journey in Great Britain Between 1950 and 2004/5

The line graph illustrates the progression of total railroad journey visitor in the United Kingdom over the following years from 1950 to 2004/5. Overall, it can be seen that there are 3 categories railways transportations, National Rail Network, London Underground, and Light Rail and Metro System, while National Railway Network was the most popular transportation among Britain but London Underground was succeed break the record at the end of period.

Moving to more detailed analysis, there was a fluctuating trend in National Rail Network and London Underground. At the beginning of period, National Rail Network as the favourite transportation in the UK stood at 1,000 millions people, while London Underground only attract less than 750 millions travellers. Over the next 35 years, although both experienced downward trend, the famous one remained dominant. In contrast, Light Rail and Metro System hit a low of 0 passengers in 1980 before rising slightly in the same period.

Between 1985 and 2004/5, National Rail Network and London Underground witnessed erratic fluctuation, while the London Underground boosted dramatically over the last period in 2004/5. Interestingly, roughly 200 millions users travelled by Light Rail and Metro System ending period.

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Writing Feedback / IELTS writing Task 1 : Worldwide Market Share of Mobile Phone Market in The Years 2005 and 2006 [2]

The table illustrates the global trade share proportion of cell phones for businessman measured by percent over a 12-month period beginning in 2005 and ending in 2006. Overall, it can be seen that Nokia is of the highest percentage of market share in the course of a year, while Motorolla boost sharply in the end of the period.

Move to more detailed analysis, several companies had improved their market service for a year. Motorola saw a remarkable rise, higher development than Nokia, by 3.4 and 2.5 respectively. Evolvement as 1.1% was shown by Sony Ericson from 6.3 to 7.4 from 2005 to 2006.

In contrast, lots of factories made a shrinking market during one year. BenQ Mobile experienced twofold less market share than last year in 2006, followed by Samsung which reached almost a 1-percent decrease. 6.3% market shares is gained from LG in 2006, and this proportion declined over the period, while others also had a significant reduction from 19.2 to 16.2 between 2005 and 2006.

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Writing Feedback / The table illustrates the total students as Initial Teacher Training (ITT) candidates based on sexes [2]

IELTS writing Task 1 : Initial Teacher Training (ITT) Qualifications Obtained 2005/6 and 2006/7, UK

The table illustrates the total students as Initial Teacher Training (ITT) candidates were qualified in 2005/6 and 2006/7 based on sexes in Great Britain, and the percentage of qualified man in the same period. Overall, it noticeable that total qualified teacher training increase slightly, while over two year training period most candidates was dominated by postgraduate degree students.

With regards to Postgraduate Certificate in Education (PGCE), the total numbers of qualified students decreased dramatically more than 500 students from 2005/6 to 2006/7. The number of female qualifiers were 17,420 people in the beginning of the period, roughly threefold more qualified than male in the end of period. This figure shown a slightly fall from the proportion of man from 28.6 to 27.1% during period.

Turning to Bed and other degree, both woman and man showed a slight rise in 2006/7. The increasing number of female who achieved ITT were higher than male which totally differ from 6,400 to 6,920 and 1,085 to 1,125 respectively. This figure also experienced 0.1% increasing male qualifiers.

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Writing Feedback / The table and pie chart show the both sexes consumer satisfaction of a new shopping location in NZ [3]

The diagrams illustrate the combination between tables and pie chart which show the both sexes consumer satisfaction of a novel shopping location in Auckland, New Zealand in 4 levels between shops and restaurants. Overall, it can be seen that people are satisfied with a new shopping area while is dominated by man in restaurants.

With regards tables, man is the highest satisfied shoppers in restaurants, in the same category is 37 women. Very satisfied in restaurant is dominated by 27 females, followed by 25 males who are the small number of dissatisfied. More than 20 girls are dissatisfied in restaurant. In addition, the number of satisfied man in shops is higher than female, at 45 and 37 respectively, followed by 34 females are very satisfied which half of that proportion is males. Like woman, the numbers of dissatisfied man are 20. Interestingly, there is no more than 20 people who are no comment in shops and restaurant either each.

Turning to pie chart, the first-rank rate is satisfied at more than three-fifths in which 17% people are very dissatisfied, followed by almost the same rate between dissatisfied and no comment at 11 and one-ten percent respectively.

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Writing Feedback / IELTS writing Task 1 : The Employment of Both Sexes by Occupation in UK in 2005 [3]

The bar chart illustrates the proportion of total workers on various occupations in Great Britain based on gender over a 12-month period in 2015. Overall, it can be seen that there are 9 categories on profession in which woman dominated on white-collar jobs, while blue-collar jobs were partaken by man.

Moving to white collar jobs, administrative and secretarial were the first-rank for female, approximately 22%, compared to one in twenty for male. More than a tenth of woman worked as sales and customer service, professional and technical community, and managers and senior officials, while man as manager and senior professional showed a high rate approximately 17%, followed by less than 15% in other blue-collar jobs.

A 2015 experienced that the majority of boys was handled in blue-collar jobs which showed by a fifth male on skilled trades, with more than 12% male worker as professional, operator of process, plant and machine, and catering assistant and labour. In addition, the portion of men on personal service witnessed the same percentage of female in trading and operating, roughly 2%. While both female professional and catering worker were similar percentage, they also expert on personal service, almost 15%.

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Writing Feedback / IELTS writing Task 2 : High Education or Work Experience - there are several opinions [2]

Many people say that the only way to guarantee getting a good job is to complete a course of university education. Others claim that it is better to start work after school and gain experience in the world of work. How far do you agree or disagree with the above views?

Several communities believe that graduating from university determines the job opportunity while the numerous in rest argue that better work relates to much more experience. However, mastering occupation is the first point in job desk. I firmly believe that background education is considered to apply job especially in accepted possibility.

On the one hand, a huge number of people claim that people who have graduated from university are easy to get a job. It is because the qualified university provide the high standard for system education which give more preparation at work. A 2007 report from the Association of American Colleges and Universities highlighted a set of high impact practices such as internships, community-based learning, studying abroad, and research outside of the classroom. It leads students to cultivate the experience and development for success. It is true that student have to finish their study in high level.

On the other hand, average populations observe that student do not need to study in university since the job experiences which mirror the person's capability is important. A 2013 report by High Fliers Research concluded that college graduates without work experience have little chance of getting a job. So, job seekers need work knowledge in order to get better job. It can not be denied that work literacy is completely important for applying job.

To sum up, the ability by working experience shows the people's capacity, however, it can not be denied that completing the high education leads to high position in occupation. So, it is imperative that university graduation influences the possible admitted job.

Writing Feedback / The diagram illustrates the process of rainwater circulation in order to be used for human's needs [3]

The diagram illustrates the process of rainwater circulation in order to be used for human's necessary. Overall, it can be seen that there are several steps to manufacture the proper water, while 2 types in main point are wastewater treatment and storm water treatment.

Initially, the clouds naturally produce rains water which will fall down on nature stored by dam and on residential area collected by tank, special for rain water. Next, both are consumed in various purposes, in which water from damn is allocated to wastewater treatment plant before utilized for drinking, whilst from tank water is distributed for housing activities directly.

In addition, a half of collected result on Water Treatment is recycled into accommodation again. Whilst water household towards river by pipe, the excess treated water towards to same purpose. This water is able to evaporate, then creating cloud. This process reverses.

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Writing Feedback / The range of visitors who travelled Brighton attractions in England between 1980 and 2010. [3]

The line graph below shows the percentage of tourists to England who visited four different attractions in Brighton.

The line chart illustrates the range of visitors who travelled Brighton attractions in England between 1980 and 2010. Overall, it can be noticeable that, Pavilion experienced the highest percentage of comers in the middle of period.

Moving to a detailed analysis relating to Pavilion and Festival, Festival stood at 30 percent while Pavilion experienced only well under that number in the first of the period. Over the course of three decades, Pavilion saw higher level of visitor than Festival, with peaking hovering at double percentage of the beginning period. Interestingly, both figure intersected in 1985.

Turning into remaining figures, Art gallery and Pier witnessed the similar pattern while visitors were more likely to visit Art gallery than Pier. However, over the last following decade, the latter increased steadily while the former showed reverse and hit a low of less than one in ten in 2010. Astonishingly, both statistics crossed at 15 percent in 2005.

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Writing Feedback / Direct communication is better than indirect communication such as letters, emails, and phone calls [3]

Hello friends, I need your powerful feedback to develop my writing skill relating to grammatical errors, lexical resources, cohesion and coherence, and task response.

Face-to-face communication is better than other types of communication, such as letters, email, or telephone calls. Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Use specific reasons and details to support your answer.

The method of communication is crucial in the way people engaging each other. Some people believe that direct communication is better than indirect communication such as letters, emails, and telephone calls. Although conventional communication boost a sense of community, the advantages of communication by letter or digital communication leads to enormous tangible effects for society.

It is crucial to balance the personal interaction amongst people by face-to-face communication since this way is effective to interact people. To illustrate, personal touch in the way people communicate by face-to-face method creates the sense of community with other people. It is necessary for people who are eager to build the business relationship with client or stakeholders. Therefore, the foundation of trust by direct interacting and intensive socializing creates the better working companionship. Ultimately, this sense of community built by this type of communication is inefficient for certain people in far distance, so people need the alternative communication to remain continuously communicating with others.

The better communications is offered by letters, email, or telephone calls in which popular these days. A number of benefits are provided by this communication. Initially, people are able to keep in touch with acquaintance, neighbourhood, and friends without any hesitates. By digital communication, communication is becoming accessible. Furthermore, this alternative communication are connecting with other people in the fast way. It is essential when people are in emergency. They enable to engage other people in the short time by using email or mobile phone calls. So, it is clear that the benefits of indirect communication have the dominant effect for people.

In conclusion, despite emotional relation bought by direct communication, the significant positive impacts of indirect communication eclipses inefficient way faced by face-to-face relationship. Then, it is imperative that people should select the better communication to avoid the risk of conflicts.

Writing Feedback / Only governments and large companies can make a difference; Task 2 [2]

Hello friends, I am learning to gain IELTS score, please give me some powerful feedback to develop my writing skill relating to grammatical errors, lexical resources, cohesion and coherence, and task response.

Individuals can do nothing to improve the environment. Only governments and large companies can make a difference. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

The responsible part is needed to bring improvement to the environment. Some people believe that people cannot lead the significant alteration and only the officers and large parties bring an enormous change for environment. Although governments and large companies are able to solve the problem in environment, individuals role are also needed to take an action.

The officers and large companies are the crucial parts to lead development to the environment since both figures have authorities to create different alteration. To illustrates, to deal with the environment problems such as global warming, it needs government introducing laws to limit emissions in which most of the emissions are produced by factories. The large companies also have to overcome this problem by attempting the proper waste circulation or filtering air emissions for the healthy environment. In spite of the tangible alterations enabling to do by government and companies yet the individuals' actions also have an enormous impact to environment.

Individuals are able to produce the favourable effects for environment. It is because humans are the key factor of all actions. The collaboration between governments and large companies and individuals are able to show the massive benefits for environment. To deal with global warming as the global problem, the attempts of creative people to innovate the new solution for overcoming this problem are required. A simple instance from the local communities in Bali, Indonesia. They offered a petition for replacing plastic bag into the renewable bag. It was the one of imperative efforts to save the earth from global warming. So, it is the huge alteration which can be done by all roles.

In conclusion, despite governments and companies coming with the first step to improve environment, the contribution of individuals in those actions produce the gigantic change for circumstance. It is essential that each part should contribute effectively for environment.