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Posts by madmoiselle
Name: Réré
Joined: May 5, 2016
Last Post: Sep 17, 2016
Threads: 21
Posts: 31  

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madmoiselle   
May 5, 2016
Writing Feedback / IELTS TASK 1 - The earth's atmosphere level and its relevant data are illustrated in the diagram. [6]

The earth's atmosphere level and its relevant data are illustrated in the diagram. Overall, it is noticeable that there are 5 scales of earth's atmosphere. The more length diameter of the earth's atmosphere is, the less number of the atmospheric molecule will be.

The first atmosphere is Troposphere, which is the shortest diameter throughout the others. It is only 15KM diameter. However, this atmosphere has lofty atmospheric molecule at 75%. The second is Stratosphere, wherein its diameter doubles larger than Troposphere. But, the percentage of molecules is smaller. It is twenty four percent. Then, the third is Mesosphere. The diameter is similar to the Troposphere, and it only has few molecules.

The following atmosphere is Thermosphere. Contrary to the prior atmospheres, this forth atmosphere, possess very few molecules. However, the diameter is much larger, it is 550KM. Then, the last atmosphere is Exosphere, which is the longest diameter at 65,000 KM. But, the molecules atmospheric are extremely rare in comparison to the other atmosphere.



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madmoiselle   
May 5, 2016
Writing Feedback / IELTS TASK 2 - Nowadays, a lot of charities and organizations have set up a number of days name [2]

Nowadays, a lot of charities and organizations have set up a number of days name the special day to attract people's attention, like National Children's day, National Non-smoking Day. Why do they have to do so, and what will the effects be?

These days, many charities and organizations have created the special day's name, such as National Children's Day and National Non-smoking Day to appeal societies' attention. There are some reasons and impacts of such these special days, which I will explain further in this essay.

There are some purposes, why charities and organizations have set up a special day. Take, National Children's Day for instance, it is a day, that aim to emphasis the societies to take care of children. In fact, quite a few children nowadays become the victim of their family or teacher, such as sexual abuse, human trafficking and so forth. Therefore, with this special day, the charities or organization could give the knowledge to societies regarding the children's right, and how to treat them with well-behaved in order to prevent children abuse. Furthermore, with such these special days, the charities and organizations are able to contribute to the society actively. Thus, for these reasons, the names of special days are created.

In addition, the impacts of these special days could invite the societies to be more pay attentions upon issues occurring these days. Special days campaign that arranged by some organizations and charities about what they fight upon certain issues, will influence people to be better individuals. Non-smoking Day for example, this special day, will enhance people awareness towards the dangerous of smoking to health. Hence, effect of the special days can repair moral values in societies as well.

In conclusion, it is clear that, the name of special days have contributed to societies positively. These special days possess an own purpose as reflected in the day's name itself. With host of special day's name created, it shows that there are still, people in this world that care towards each other.
madmoiselle   
May 6, 2016
Writing Feedback / In my way of thinking, children attending to private schools is reasonable idea. IELTS 2 [4]

knowledge and skills but also(,) can provide them with a comfortable and efficient learning environment

Hi su, I would say you have really a good essay, however I have some suggestions for you.

1. pay attention to punctuation mark
2. for the conclusion, i think in the last paragraph, you'd better to tie this [Therefore, in my way of thinking, children attending to private schools is reasonable and feasible ] to the prior paragraph instead of it only contains one sentence.

I believe you would get score more than your target :)
madmoiselle   
May 6, 2016
Writing Feedback / To have several careers and then further education will be something that continues throughout life? [3]

To date THESE DAYS, the world is constantly developing and to move with TO the times modern ERA, WHEREIN people tend to study constantly during their life and to keep themselves up-to-date. 50 years ago people had a single career(.) they were specialized in without DID NOT HAVE any extra occupation, working till they ge Ot retired AT keeping their initial workplace. During 8 working hours(,) they managed THEIR TIME to do only FOR their principal work and they hadn't enough time to do DONE something else.

Nowadays,thanks to the new technologies and press of ...
Such THE words SUCH as Ťmainť and Ťside jobť appeared.
... they sign a service agreement, as it's more advantageous for hirers RECRUITERS.

Hi Maxim, here is 2 paragraph corrections from me, anyway I think you should not use informal words for this essay, such as "thanks to" however this could decrease your score. good luck for your test :)
madmoiselle   
May 6, 2016
Writing Feedback / IELTS TASK 1 - The hierarchical structure in a marketing company [5]

The hierarchical structure in a marketing company is depicted in the chart. Overall, there are eight people who hold a position in this company.

The highest position is Mr. Dobbs. He is the President and CEO of this marketing company. Mr. Dobbs possesses 3 main staffs that hold an important role in his business. The first is Mr. Fields, he is a Vice President of Marketing. Moreover, he has one subordinate that fills the position as a summer intern, he is Mr. Robbins.

The following main employees of Mr. Dobbs are Mr. Tremblay. He is a sales executive, who has two subordinates as sales managers. They are Mr. Smith and Mr. Namath. Then, the third is who fill the position as advertising executive, he is Mr. Gartner. In compared to Mr. Tremblay, Mr. Gartner only has one subordinate, wherein similar to Mr. Fields. She is Ms. Clack who occupy as an Advertising Manager.



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madmoiselle   
May 6, 2016
Writing Feedback / Task 2: Limited water resources in the woldwide [2]

Hi Maya, you have a good essay, however i have some corrections for this.

I firmly believe that water crisis mainly is caused by OF the overpopulation in the world.
... have to find the best solutions to tackle it THIS ISSUE.

The predominant reason of the issue(,) is uncontrollable population growth which ...

Based on the recent data from THE United Nation

by minimize ING the water consumption and use ING it effectively.

Good luck for your IELTS :)
madmoiselle   
May 6, 2016
Writing Feedback / Classes in Education - who should do the talking? Edit my TOEFL writing [3]

Education is always one of the hottest topics in the today's society, which deserved multiple MUCH attentions. Some students like STUDY IN THE classes where teachers ARE lecture in class ING. However, o ther students prefer classes where the students THEY CAN BE presence and do some of the talking TO OTHER PEERS. In my personal view, I prefer the second type OF class(,) as I believe THAT class will be more attractive and interactive for students who have A chance talking in the class, And BECAUSE they will understand and memory RECALL THE lecture better.

IN CompareD to the class where teacher lecturing from beginning to the end, students do some WHO talking will motivate OTHER student's to BE positive thinkING and CONTRIBUTE TO anticipation in class discussION. Teacher lecturing style class is kind of teacher WHO play the only role ONLY in the learning process...

LetTING student TO take Apart in THE class content is a significant activity.
In addition, Interactive class developed student's expressive skills that classes where teachers lecture cannot happen .

Hi Qin, here is some corrections for me, unfortunately i cannot understand what do you mean, the words that i give red marks. Keep practice :)
madmoiselle   
May 6, 2016
Writing Feedback / Many people think it is important to protect environment, but they make no effort on it themselves [3]

Many people think it is important to protect environment, but they make no effort on it themselves. Why it is the case and what can we do to change this situation?

Protecting environment is a human obligation, yet it is important as well. Unfortunately, many people less care on it. There are some reasons underlying, why they are to do so. Nevertheless, some possible solutions could be taken into account to address this issue.

In many countries, majority of people are lack awareness upon environmental matter, yet the earth's condition deteriorates over the year. They do not know even the consequences of their careless, towards the entire creature living in the earth. In fact, there are still furthermore, people who throw the garbage everywhere, since they think it is not a big problem as long as their litter will be taken out by cleaning service. Moreover, this bad attitude will influence other people to do similar deed, particularly the children who are sensible. Hence, for these reasons people make not effort to preserve the environment.

Turning to the possible solutions, firstly, the government should campaign regarding environmental issue and foster their societies, especially children and youngster to preserve the environment. A further instance of this, is by giving them an education, such as recycling the items, economizing the electricity and so forth. In addition, the government had better to strict regulation of the waster produced by the companies. These sovereign steps, will lead people to be more sensitive to the environmental issue and encourage them to take care of it.

In conclusion, protecting the environment is a human duty as inhabitant within it. Hence, people are supposed to spread the positive habitual in their daily pursuits to the others to be greener, so that rising people awareness to preserve the environment.
madmoiselle   
May 8, 2016
Writing Feedback / The distribution of population in three areas of the Northwest region - IELTS 1 [3]

... the proportion of people who liveD IN the suburbs AREA over IN 1900 and 2000.

... the rural area in 1900, (.) However, it is predicted that this percentage ...

through THE time to settle ING in the suburban area of the Northwest region .

10% IN compared by TO THE percentage of 1900 and 1950 THE PRIOR YEAR.

while it is forecastED to WILL fall down to 10%

the population will be similar to the one YEAR of 1900 and 1950
madmoiselle   
May 8, 2016
Writing Feedback / IELTS TASK 2 - A hundred years ago, people thought that the human race was steadily improving [5]

A hundred years ago, people thought that the human race was steadily improving in every area of life. Now it seems this is not certain that situation. In which area do you think we have made important progress nowadays? In which areas do you think we still need to make progress?

In the antiquity, people argued that the human race was gradually enhancing in all of life's aspects. However, the life's improvement nowadays is not gradually stable as in the past. There are some aspects that have advanced, nevertheless there are some aspects that have to be improved.

These days, technology has held an important role to human daily's pursuits. A host of cutting-edge instruments has facilitated the people in all of areas, such as communication, health and the others. In terms of communication for example, majority of the people possess their own gadget with the superb application. Now, the function of mobile phone is not only for keeping in touch any more, but also for taking picture, browsing to the internet and so forth. Thus, it is unquestionably true that technology has made progress in recent years.

However, there are some human life's aspects that need to be enhanced. As people living spread in many regions, not all of them gain the same right to have the better life. A further instance of this, is the gap between the city dwellers and the country dwellers as well as the rich and the poor. Even many states have established the regulation to give the same education to all of their societies. In fact, there are the country dwellers and the poor, who not obtain the well education. Furthermore, the facilities provided in the villages are less usable in compared to the schools in the cities. Hence, it is clear that the human right needs to be improved, therefore reducing the gap among social groups.

In conclusion, along the development of technology, the way of people's life nowadays has changed steadily. However, with all of the sophisticated instruments, many people are less aware that there are still, many the poor and the country dwellers out there, who not obtaining the same right as they do.
madmoiselle   
May 8, 2016
Writing Feedback / IELTS TASK 2 - The major cities in the world are growing fast, as well as their problems [6]

The major cities in the world are growing fast, as well as their problems. What are the problems that young people living in cities are facing with? Give solutions to these problems.

Majority of the cities have been developing rapidly. This growing, leads to the problem that made the young people struggle. Nevertheless, there are some possible solutions that could be taken into account to address this issue.

High standard of living is a main problem of youngster living in the cities. All of the costs, such as foods and accommodations are higher than in the urban areas. This is due to the competition of business among city dwellers is firm. In addition, another major problem is the traffic jam. As the city is the most densely occupied area, many of them prefer using their own vehicle to using public transportation. Thus, it is undoubtedly that the bottleneck is the problem that make the youngster struggles.

Turning to the possible solutions, the young people ought to live economically and manage their money efficiently. For instance, they not buy unnecessary items, more often eat at home rather than at restaurant, and so forth. Therefore, they are able to save deposit for a rainy day. Another possible solution is, they are supposed to use public transportation in their daily pursuits. If the distance of destination place is nearby, walking is the best way to decrease the number of transportation in the street. Hence, the problems of traffic jam could be diminished.

In conclusion, living in the big cities leads to the troubles for the young people. However, the problems they facing are a challenge, in order to they become a good citizen who are able to adapt in every hard situation.
madmoiselle   
May 8, 2016
Writing Feedback / IELTS TASK 2 - The major cities in the world are growing fast, as well as their problems [6]

Hi Victor and Ivy thank you you for your suggestions :)

My difficulty is, I struggle to express my idea into English way, because the structure sentence of my native language is totally different with English. So, when I express my idea in English, it is like I force my native language to become English, therefore may be for the reader it becomes understandable, because the collocation words that i use is my native language collocation. I feel it is difficult to find the right words in English.

For example:
My sentence : they are supposed to use public transportation in their daily pursuits.
Victor sentence : young people should rely on public transportation while getting around.

Generally, the both sentence has similar meaning, but victor sentence sounds better in English rather than mine, because in my native language it will be weird when I say "rely on", so I have no thought to use this words.

Oh ya, anyway ivy could you give me an example in my writing which is lack of linking words. I try to re-read few times before I post my essay here, but I do not know what are my recklessness in my writing, so that why I post my writing here in order to the others give me feedback what should I need to be improved.

I aware, I still need more practice in writing, moreover i need get score at least 7, fortunately this web has helped me much to deal with it.
madmoiselle   
May 10, 2016
Writing Feedback / IELTS TASK 2 - A hundred years ago, people thought that the human race was steadily improving [5]

Hi Mersad and Ivy thank you :)

Ivy, i have some questions that would like to ask

- human life's aspects that needs to be enhanced.

why you use S in the end of need while the subject is plural (human life's aspects)?

- There are many states that has established

then in this sentence you use has while the subject is plural (many states)?

I just confused with this, I hope you give me an explanation :)
madmoiselle   
May 24, 2016
Writing Feedback / IELTS TASK 2 - In some societies, fashion is becoming more and more important [6]

In some societies, fashion is becoming more and more important in choosing clothes. Why is it the case? Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

Some individuals argue that being more fashionable is important, particularly in choosing clothes. This is due to they put the appearance as a paramount value in their life. I personally believe that fashion leads people to positive way.

In today society life, many people are undoubtedly spending their money for fashionable clothes. A host of dress styles created by designers and their works invite people to become trendy, stylish and good looking. In addition, some individuals even pay high cost a designer for a splendid dress which suit to their body for certain events such as wedding party and ceremony. Thus, it is unquestionably true that choosing the best clothe is important for people's appearance.

There are some positives effects of being fashionable in a daily life. Firstly, people will be more confidence by wearing their best dress in any occasion, for instance meeting up with a prominent person, attending birthday party and so forth. This is because they evidently comfort with their dress. Moreover, people will be braver showing in front of many people, especially for those who work as a motivator or public figure. As a result, people will experience their daily pursuit optimistically.

In conclusion, fashion becomes more important in today's world. Wearing the best clothe in any occasion are able increasing a confidence value, therefore fashion is a positive development to foster people's personality.
madmoiselle   
May 24, 2016
Writing Feedback / Pupils should be trained how to become a precedent parent. IELTS [3]

On the other hand, becoming well-qualified parents does not require such parenthood ...
Children can learn it naturally throughout IN their adulthood LIFE. Be based on research, it found REVEALED that the development of children is more likely related to THEIR experiences outside the school. This ability allowS them to solve THE problems and break THE challenges during their life. Finally THEREFORE, when they WILL SUCCESS BEING PARENT WHEN had BUILD a family in the future, this would guide them to be successful parents.
madmoiselle   
May 24, 2016
Writing Feedback / I strongly agree that gender could affect on the job position based on certain abilities. [6]

Some people think that man and women have different qualities that some certain job suitable for man and some jobs are suitable for women. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some individuals argue that man and women are only suit to certain job due to they possess different qualifications. In my point of view, I strongly agree that gender could affect on the job position based on certain abilities.

In some regions, it is cultural reason that unsuitable to let women work harshly because they believe that men are more suits to do some works that need a lot of powers and women should work in safer place. For example, in some areas, many companies need man engineers for working in the field or ocean to drill the ground, while women are more needed in terms of administrative office. Thus, the strong of cultural rule might effect on the man and women job.

In additions, the biologist factor also takes responsibility to the position of the job. The man and women have totally different hormone which is man are frequently use their brain to think logically, whereas women are more likely use their feeling to face the problems. This is one of reasons why women are more vulnerable creature than man, therefore they possess different abilities. Hence, biological takes part to determine the position of the job.

In conclusion, along with the globalization era, these days, many women have jobs that usually do by men and vice versa. However, owing to some factors such as cultural and biological, the job had better differentiate based on the gender qualifications.
madmoiselle   
May 25, 2016
Writing Feedback / "Choosing between a house and a business" - TOEFL Essay [4]

... house show us the responsibility of us withfor our family. A house creates a stablesafe place for your family to live in.
More notably, having a house bringlead you to the necessarypersonal privacy becauseOur personal things are in private is necessity. We are likely to free to do theany things we like.

Thus, this is a safe purchase.
Therefore, it is a valuable property and not easy to loselosing the price.
madmoiselle   
May 25, 2016
Writing Feedback / IELTS 2 - An increase the production of consumer goods results in the damage [2]

An increase the production of consumer goods results in the damage to the natural environment. Why is this case? What can we do to solve this problem?

The highly increase in producing consumer goods has triggered the environmental damage. However, using those products is human necessity. Nevertheless, some possible measures could be taken into account to address this issue.

Nowadays, human population in some regions has increased significantly. It is unquestionably that every people have spent a lot of their money to buy consumer goods products for their daily necessity. In terms of cleanness for instance, they use cleaning products such as detergent to clean their dress, shampoo and soap for taking a bath and so forth. They have become the most important items in human life. Thus, it is undoubtedly true that using consumer goods products is human necessity.

However, an increasing demand to use consumer goods has negative effects to the environment. For this reason, the government should restrict the rules of waste disposal to the factories, then fostering the companies to be greener by promoting solar and power energy and recycling water use and packages. Additionally, societies ought to economize in using the consumer goods products as well. By doing so, the environment will be more preserved.

In conclusion, it is undeniable that consumer goods have taken important part to human necessity in their daily life. However, people should economize using them and the government had better control the consumer goods company in taking benefit of nature to their business. Therefore, the environment will be protected.
madmoiselle   
May 25, 2016
Writing Feedback / TOEFL essay - New theater in the neighborhood. Sugesstions? [6]

it will be easier for me to travel and it makes our area safer .
having a new theater closes to
if a new theater is built closes to my
the stress of traveling due to a longer distance
thisis a great newsmakes me happier that
madmoiselle   
May 25, 2016
Writing Feedback / World has changed speedily from manual era to digital era because of computers [3]

It was hard wayuneasy to recall all past data, someonepeople must
the computer has made make workingmore efficiently .
withby computer search engine by less than 1 minute
all instanceinstitutions use
Taking hospital asfor example,
This way makes easy thefor doctors to know the record of their patient.
Secondly, computer makes the world to beis more instant.
in short time. MoreoverTherefore , reducing cost and efficiency long of time are direct effect from computer.
madmoiselle   
May 25, 2016
Writing Feedback / IELTS TASK 2 - Some support development in agriculture, such as farming industry [2]

Some support development in agriculture, such as farming industry, creation of new types fruit and vegetable. Others disapprove. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

The advance of technology in agriculture area such as in farming industry has become an intensely debate among public. Some individuals support creation of new types fruit and vegetable, while others contradict to this new development. However, I will discuss these both views in this essay.

Many scientists believe that the enhancement of farming industry leads to positive effects in agriculture world. For instance, by creating new types of fruit and vegetable, it will improve the richness collection of variety of plant. In addition, by doing hybrid to certain fruits and vegetables, the result of these new types plant are better in quality, wherein the contain nutrition is higher than the original ones. Thus, for these reasons, some people support to the advancement in farming industry.

On the other hand, the drawbacks of such improvement in this industry have triggered a controversial among people. This is because the new types of fruit and vegetable that is successfully made, will threaten the originality of plants itself. Moreover, there is a negative effect to the environment, such as damaging the component structures of the ground which is dangerous for insects. Then, in the social-economic aspect, great numbers farmers are menaced losing their job, due to the hybrid plants do not need many labors in the work process. As a consequence, many people opposite to this development.

In conclusion, it is true that the enhancement in agriculture area has created a breakthrough in farming industry. However, in my own perspective, the government had better control farming industry in creating new types of fruit and vegetable by considering the negative effects of such this development to the environment and society.
madmoiselle   
Jul 17, 2016
Writing Feedback / Television, newspapers, magazines - fake and manipulating news out of this reality? [4]

Hi Payal, I like your clear opinion, however your essay is not structured well as Ichan explain above. Good luck for your next writing :)

A proactive media can actually help building strong nations
The media should take the responsibility of the facts it is making public (be aware of punctuation)
madmoiselle   
Jul 17, 2016
Writing Feedback / Daily tasks without meeting people face to face - effects it may have on individuals and the society [2]

It is now possible to perform everyday tasks, such as bank transaction, shopping or even office works, without meeting people face to face. What are the effects it may have on individuals and the society as a whole?

Today, performing daily duties such as bank transaction, shopping or office works without meeting people directly is feasible. This is due to the advancement of technology has changed the way of people to interact each other. However, there are some effects on individuals and the whole of society owing to this change.

Lack interaction among people leads society to be more individualist. They relish spending their time solely and more communicating with people they need to talk with via internet as opposed to speaking face to face, in which taking much money and energy to meet them in the long distance. Furthermore, they suppose by using the cutting-edge of technology, it is not longer need other people to help their daily tasks, because they believe can do it by their self. Hence, it is undeniable that the society becomes more anti social.

In addition, people become dependence on using the internet. Everyday, they spend a lot of their time in the screen rather than getting around. In the house for instance, the relation among family member, either between husband and wife or among parents and children becomes less. The harmonization within family is flat and lack affection, due to people prefers spending their daily pursuits with their gadget. Thus, using technology abounds should be taken into account.

In conclusion, it is true that the advancement of technology has helped society in performing their daily tasks. However, people should limit their self to use it, considering the possibility effects that might occur.
madmoiselle   
Jul 17, 2016
Writing Feedback / IELTS TASK 1 - The diagram reveals how to use an automatic photo booth [2]

The diagram reveals how to use an automatic photo booth. Overall, there are six steps to use this tool.

At first, people should enter a coin in side of the booth. The following step is choosing the size of photo, such as 1 large format or passport-sized. Then, they are supposed to pick out whether they want colour photos or black and white photos. However, for the passport photo sized, it is only available in colour.

After that, people enter through the booth and sit in the adjustable stool. They should pay attention to eye level that must close to the screen when taking photos. Therefore before taking picture, people can see their face at the mirror to adjust their appearance. The picture will be taken if the light single flash has appeared after seconds thereby they should wait for it first. Then, after taking picture, the photos will be delivered within 60 second to the side of booth.



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madmoiselle   
Jul 20, 2016
Writing Feedback / IELTS TASK 2 - More and more measures to improve the security in the urban area [2]

More and more measures to improve the security in the urban area have been introduced because of the increased crime. Do the benefits of the measures outweigh the drawbacks?

In the urban area, the security has been improved due to the crime restriction. The measures introduced may cause the benefits and the drawbacks to the society. However, I believe that those measures possess more benefits to the urban dwellers.

Living in urban area has its own challenge for some people. The highly competitive aspects such as high cost of living leads struggle for the poor. While trying to cope with the realities of a city life, some people may become a wrongdoer to stay alive. Therefore to prevent this, the government applies the strict rules particularly in public areas, such as conducting security check before entering a mall, taking measures for any suspicious act in people and so forth. However, the rule might cause difficulties, because people cannot experience their activity freely.

On the other hand, as a result of improving the security, people won't longer worry about their belongings or placing their vehicles in parking area, because they feel safe. In addition, the parents will be more convenient to let their children outside home. Indeed, the applied tight rules in public area constrict the wrongdoer to conduct their acts. Hence, the offenders might think twice before doing the crime.

In conclusion, enhancing the security in urban area is undoubtedly leads many benefits than its drawbacks. However, the government had better not only prevent the wrongdoer to act but also look for its causes, considering the crime happens not because of without reason. Therefore, they will diminish the crime properly.
madmoiselle   
Jul 20, 2016
Writing Feedback / Government spending on the internet - is it the most appropriate use of money? IELTS task 2 [7]

Hi, here are some suggestions :)

However, I still think that money should be diverted into other fields such as scientific research or infrastructure.

People, especially the young, are frequently using the internet users , whothey will inevitably feel delighted to be able to checking e-mails and surfing the web at a greaterhigh speed,

on e-commerce- which is an integral part of

increasing the quality and the quantity of online-shopping, and attracting a considerable number
madmoiselle   
Jul 20, 2016
Writing Feedback / The percentage of average food budget family for eating in restaurant is depicted in the pie charts [2]

The charts below show the percentage of their food budget the average family spent on restaurant meals in different years. The graph shows the number of meals eaten in fast food restaurants and sit-down restaurants.

The percentage of average food budget family for eating in restaurant is depicted in the pie charts in the year 1970, 1980, 1990 and 2000. Furthermore, the number of fast food and sit-down restaurant is revealed in the line graph for the same years. Overall, there is a significant increase in food budget from year to year.

In the pie charts, it was noticeable that from 1970 to 1990, majority family spent their money for eating in their home. However, only minority family that eats in restaurant. In 2000, the proportion of people who ate in restaurant and home were balance at 50%.

In addition, it was shown in the line graph that in 1970, the numbers of meals eaten in fast food and sit down restaurant was equal, it was twenty which is the lowest number over the period. Then, in 1980s they increased at roughly thirty. Thereafter, the both peaked in 2000, whereby fast food meals were predominantly at nearly 90 while sit down restaurants were 50.



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madmoiselle   
Jul 24, 2016
Writing Feedback / IELTS; To read or not to read: That is a question - can we learn that way about a foreign country? [2]

but this approach is really suitable for everyone : However is this the best way for...
yet for someone who unfamiliar with the local language,
take people a great deal of time to learn(,) so that it is
the fact that is unlike the description in the newspapers or magazines.
Take me for example, when I want travelinged in the U.S. three years ago
to taste various foods in there .
After thatHowever , I was very depressed and dodid not think those restaurants are desirable to eat like the magazine said, since thefood calories and the prices are too high and expensive to eat .

Due toconsidering the articles are always quite difficult to learn, and the information does not always reflect the facts.
madmoiselle   
Jul 24, 2016
Writing Feedback / IELTS Task 1 essay practice - Population Distribution in two different countries, two different year [4]

The pie charts provide information onabout the proportion of populations based on citizens' age in two different countries, in the year of 2000 withand predictions for the year 2050. Each pie chart divides the people in theireach country into three groups of people according to their ages...

Yemen had about half of their people in Yemen wasas young children
while in Italy, it only less

In future prediction
is also forecastedto be decreasedwill decline by more than
madmoiselle   
Jul 24, 2016
Writing Feedback / Fresh tea leaves picking is the first step of manufacturing black tea; IELTS diagram [3]

Two different methods of manufacturing black tea are depicted in the diagrams. The two of these processes are traditional and modern ways. Overall, there are five steps of how to produce the tea.

Initially, pick the fresh tea leaves which is only bud and the two top of the leaves. These leaves are the best quality than others part ones. Then, these leaves are put on the rack and withered by air, so that the sixty percent of moisture are out. After withering, the leaves are hit by using two different methods.

The first is traditional method. This method is by rolling the tea leaves become flat and broken, thereby the enzymes from the leaves release. The next step is oxidation. The rolled leaves, then spread on the tiles. In this process, the leaves colour change becoming copper because of encountering the substance of enzymes and air. Lastly, it is frying process. The leaves are put in the oven for reducing the moisture up to 97%.

The next method is modern way. This is the quicker process than the previous one. First, the leaves are cut, torn and curled become smaller granular pieces. After that, these leaves are spread on the cement which is called fermentation process. After the leaves colour changes being copper, the leaves then dried in the hot dryers. Therefore the flavor and aroma of black tea release.



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madmoiselle   
Jul 30, 2016
Writing Feedback / In many countries of the world few people earn extremely high salary [8]

To begin with,
drawing high salary is on a par with the development of the country.
To have a health and harmonious environment it is essential to appraise once work
This will eventually motivate them to climb up the ladder with enthusiasm tically.
due to its adverse effects on once working condition.
I would like to draw here would beis , an indulgent person who indulge in work and dowho has an outstanding achievement getsis demotivated if the employer ...

On the whole a nations progress fall in hand ...
rather its is getting circulated everywhere.
which in turn, make them loose interest in their work.
madmoiselle   
Aug 10, 2016
Writing Feedback / Some people argue that teaching students to behave well and to assess right and wrong is important. [2]

Some people think that teachers should be responsible for teaching students how to judge right and wrong and how to behave well. Some say that teachers should only teach students about academic subjects. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some people argue that teaching students to behave well and to assess right and wrong is important. However, others think that teachers have to focus on teaching academic lessons only. I believe that there are strong reasons underlying on these statements which I will discuss further in this essay.

On the one hand, it is responsibility for the teacher educates children while in the school. Their main duty is preparing their students reaches their dream in the future. Based on this thought, some people believe that teacher should only focus on teaching school subjects thereby their students understand the lessons properly. Meanwhile, teaching the children to behave well and to judge right and wrong is parent's responsibility, because it is out of school curriculum. Thus, parents and teachers possess their own roles to educate the children.

On the other hand, tough main duty of teachers is teaching in the class, however they are a respected figure in the school. Their behaviors are an example particularly for their students. Therefore, it is important to teacher initiate their students behaving well and judging what is right and wrong. Hence in the future, their students are not only success in the job, but also polite and wise to make a decision in their life.

To sum up, indeed teacher's main duty is teaching the school subjects which is based on the school curriculum. However, in my point of view, it is better if teachers become a good figure for their students and collaborate well with the parents to educate the children. Therefore, they are success in terms of academic and life.
madmoiselle   
Aug 12, 2016
Writing Feedback / Beware, We Will Run Out of Water if We Don't Do These Things! [5]

we can see ifthe drought has been happening world-widely .
their nuclear power plants have shut down forbecause lack of water to cool
where coal power stations is sealed due to the drought.
in the United States, is already on the stage of worryingied about their water stockpile to fight wildfires
to see the entire cities
to serve a betterinforming the public education about using water usewisely ,

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