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Posts by gmad06
Joined: Jun 16, 2013
Last Post: Nov 25, 2013
Threads: 20
Posts: 151  
Likes: 55
From: Singapore

Displayed posts: 171 / page 4 of 5
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gmad06   
Jul 16, 2013
Writing Feedback / IELTS TASK2:HOME-COOKED VS BUYING FOODS - which is better? [13]

Hi John, I mentioned my stand at the introduction that I agreed to both statements.My ideas are inclined
to those statements also. Furthermore, that is also what I am trying to convey in my conclusion.

I may have confused you with my choice of words or phrases.
gmad06   
Jul 16, 2013
Writing Feedback / IELTS TASK2:HOME-COOKED VS BUYING FOODS - which is better? [13]

Hi Friends. Once again I am sharing my work to you guys. Feel free to comment on it.

TASK:Some people say that cooking food at home is a waste of time. They claim that good restaurants are better and can make modern living easier and less stressful. Do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Nowadays, the modernization of life has greatly influence the decisions of some people. In most cases, they choose something which is quick and convenient. Food preference is not an exception to this trend. These people claim that buying food is better than cooking one since it is easier and less stressful. Furthermore, they believe the latter is not time-efficient. I strongly agree to both statements.

In today's busy life, people find ordering food from restaurants very convenient for various reasons. Firstly, it merely involves looking at the menu and choosing the food only. They will not feel the hassle of reading through its recipe and knowing how to cook it. Secondly, some people like to eat but do not like to cook the type of cuisine they want. Thus, they are very happy with the provision of restaurants. Lastly, others want to dine in restaurants with relaxing ambiance. It helps them relieve the stress from work or build a rapport with their eating partner. In business oriented countries such as Hong Kong and Singapore, it is commonly observed that food centers and restaurants are more crowded compared to markets. Locals in these countries prefer to eat outside to socialize with friends and avoid the stress of preparing their food.

Apart from the advantages seen in buying food, it has been also said that home-cooked dishes are a waste of time. Numerous steps are involved to cook a meal at home. Initially, time needs to be spent in knowing and buying the essential ingredients. Besides that, tedious tasks also need to be done such as slicing the ingredients, doing the dishes, and cleaning the table. Overall, cooking is just not practical anymore. These days, people would rather save time to spare on working extra hours and doing their hobbies.

In conclusion, summing up the lifestyle people have in modern times, I believe that eating at restaurants is more suitable than preparing food at home. With so many other things to do and experience, people have little time and interest left for cooking.
gmad06   
Jul 15, 2013
Writing Feedback / Have we harmed the Earth or made it a better place? [6]

Nowadays, global warming is the most important issue in every country. A large number of people think that any human activities cause damage to the Earth. However, many people believe that the Earth is better than ever due to human activities. Before identifying my opinion, careful discussion is required.

- don't use Global warming in your hook sentence.it's better to use it as a main idea on your body paragraph. It is not advisable to

use the phrases " a large number" or "a lot" use "many" or stick to your prompt "some" and "others". If you intend to state your opinion

in the conclusion paragraph, you don't need to mention "Before identifying my opinion" in the intro paragraph.
- use Global warming as your main idea in 1st body and support it with ideas on how human activities can contribute to it
- use another phenomenon (opposite to Global warming) which could benefit the world in the 2nd paragraph. Again, state some ideas on
how human activities can countribute to it.
- summarize everything in the conclusion and mention your opinion.

This is how it is done in IELTS, if this is what you intend to do...hope this helps..
gmad06   
Jul 15, 2013
Writing Feedback / IELTS; Relationship of Personal Happiness and Economic Success [7]

Pros:
- your essay structure is good
- you have good ideas and opinion about the discussion

Cons:
- you have a lot of grammar issues,

from one person to an other

On the one hand

people intends to do what it takes

sources of happiness comes withfrom their parents

- you have been watching too many starwars films, try to make your sentence simple and active

economic success it greatly influenced one's personal happiness

An individual's happiness is greatly influenced by economic success.

Thus, fulfilling those desires, it makes their inner self happy and contented

Thus, contentment and happiness within oneself is experienced on the fulfillment of those desires.

hope this helps...
gmad06   
Jul 14, 2013
Writing Feedback / IELTS TASK2:Shopping as a replacement of hobbies and other leisure activities. [7]

hey John,
thanks for the advice. I am a bit confused though. So i guess I should stick with the original
structure afterall. It is evident that I am not that confident yet with my works.

What do you think of my hook sentence on th intro paragraph? Do you have any suggestions on it.
Did you find many irrelevant statements on my essay? I appreciate your feedback.

I've posted this elsewhere: If you can find me a single essay from a credible source (ie, NY Times, etc.) that lists in its introduction the "points to be covered," I will send you ten US dollars.

guess what,you have told this statement twice to the same forumer..and that forumer is me..I think it's really meant for me.

Cheers!
gmad06   
Jul 14, 2013
Writing Feedback / IELTS TASK2:Shopping as a replacement of hobbies and other leisure activities. [7]

Nowadays, shopping has become a leisure activity for many people. Although there are other reasons too, rewarding themselves for their hard work seems to be the primary reason for many people to engage in this activity.

Indeed this is better, I think a suitable structure for this essay would be to mention the reasons on the intro paragraph
itself and not in one of the body paragraphs.Thanks Dumi.

Nowadays, it is perceived as a relaxing experience and some even feel it as a fashion

Thanks Pahan. But this would be a different statement from what I am trying to convey.

Thanks everyone.
gmad06   
Jul 12, 2013
Writing Feedback / TOEFL- How people's behavior is influenced by TV and movies? [4]

Hi Ergenekon,
Welcome to the forum. Please allow me to give you some useful tips.
An essay should be more passive or more of the writer talking about his opinion, and not asking the reader for some answers.
In your intro you should give a little bit of background sentences about TV,shows and human behaviour.

you have good ideas for your body paragraphs,you just didn't present them clearly.
Since the prompt is asking about behaviour your ideas should focus more on:
how it can make people upset
how it can persuade you to buy something
how it can inspire you to make more out of yourself

try to summarize all these ideas on your last paragraph.try to get one common thing among your ideas.
don't talk about you have more ideas but the things you mentioned are enough.

hope this helps...
gmad06   
Jul 12, 2013
Writing Feedback / IELTS TASK2:Shopping as a replacement of hobbies and other leisure activities. [7]

Hello forumers.Once again I am sharing my essay.Feedback and advice are always welcome.
I am fully aware that I have overused the word "shopping". I just don't have other means of replacing it.

TASK:Nowadays, many people go shopping in their free time. Shopping has replaced many other activities that people choose as their hobby. What are the reasons for this? Is this a positive or negative development?

In today's world, more and more people love to go shopping. They enjoyed buying things not only for themselves but also for others. Thus, it has been preferred over other types of leisure activities and hobbies. Impacts of this development will be taken into consideration.

The perception of people on shopping has greatly evolved. In earlier times, people buy things such as food and clothing for the purpose of preparing supplies to be consumed in the coming days. Nowadays, they have considered shopping as a means of rewarding themselves for working hard. Furthermore, others tried to work hard to earn money for the things they want to buy. Shoppers claim that they felt so relaxed and contented whenever they go around malls and buy things. These perspectives leave other forms of leisure activity less appealing.

Consumers play an important role in a nation's economic industry. The growth of a country's economy greatly depends on how the market flows. If one vital component such as a consumer is not participating, the cycle will be broken. Thus, a country's financial status is deemed to be in trouble. Therefore the more people spend their money, the more chances their nation's economy will grow.

On the other hand, there are also undesirable results brought about by this development. Firstly, spending money or walking around supermarket and malls involves very less physical and mental activities. Undoubtedly, choosing it over hobbies like biking and hiking would mean a person's negligence to his own health. Secondly, there is a great tendency that most shoppers become materialistic. Their preferences are more inclined to brand names and signature items regardless of price. Moreover, these kinds of shoppers usually overspend causing them to be in major debt problems.

In a holistic approach shopping brings benefits to a society. However, looking at the impacts it can do to an individual's character, prioritizing shopping over other forms of leisure activity is regarded as a negative development.
gmad06   
Jul 11, 2013
Writing Feedback / IELTS T2: In what ways has technology affected the types of relationship people make? [5]

the best way for us to keep in touch with our relatives

Through internet services like yahoo messenger, social networking websites or internet calling

parallelism, change this to voip calls instead

On the other hand, technology also brings some problems about contact with people. The rapid growth of social networking makes people tend to prefer chatting through it to talking face to face

Change this, I think the message you want to convey is about technological devices being a distraction.

Overall, the major problem is you did not answer the prompt question below, and the negative/ positive development should be about that
not the first sentence.

In what ways has technology affected the types of relationship people make?.

hope this helps...
gmad06   
Jul 10, 2013
Writing Feedback / ielts task 2: do we should exclude males and females from certain jobs? [4]

i do think you can't get a higher score than 6 with this essay. basically for task response alone
you were able to present ideas but not too strong enough to relate on your essay prompt

try to present your ideas on why we should not exclude or exempt anyone on any type of job.
present each idea on separate body paragraphs.

On your first paragraph you mentioned gender equality and interest, try to emphasize on motivation instead.
Second idea is good, "capability", but yo need to expand it further.
Add another idea to make your essay longer. You should not be comfortable with 256 words because in the
actual test you won't find time to check your word count. Get into the habit of having at least 270 words in your
practice essays.
gmad06   
Jul 10, 2013
Writing Feedback / IELTS TASK2:things learned by children from watching tv and movies [9]

Ever since television and film industry were invented, there had been, and still are, endless arguments on how they would affect the younger generation.

I think the presence of the words, "Ever since " and "endless" makes the highlighted phrase unnecessary

thanks for your valuable feedback. I will work on improving my essays.

This person meant well, but I implore you to disregard his or her advice

copy that John.
gmad06   
Jul 10, 2013
Writing Feedback / IELTS TASK2:things learned by children from watching tv and movies [9]

Hi I appreciate your help in improving my essay. Thanks in advance.

Essay prompt:Children are learning things by watching TV and movies. What are advantages and disadvantages of this? Give reasons and examples.

Ever since television and film industry was introduced, numerous arguments were discussed pertaining to its influence on younger generation. While some people believe that TV and movies are harmful to children, others oppose and claim that they are beneficial. Both good and bad things learned from watching these shows will be discussed in this essay.

One of the most common problems complained by parents is violence. It is considered harmful because it influences a child to be violent towards their friends. Nowadays, violence is almost present on every show even on those that you would least expect. An example is the cartoon show "Tom and Jerry". This program shows a mouse and a cat repetitively fighting each other in different situations. For innocent minds, they would think it would be funny if they could imitate those actions towards their playmates. Thus, may result to injury and conflict. Another concern complained by parents is the unregulated screening of inappropriate scenes. These scenes if wrongly interpreted by young minds will trigger curiosity and intimacy among peers. In recent cases, it has been proven that adult films are some of the major factors causing early pregnancies.

Shows and films may cause undesired results but originally, they were created to benefit us especially the children. Firstly, the provision of educational shows has helped many parents educate their children. Programs like Barney and Sesame Street teach children learning fundamentals with less supervision and assistance from parents. Furthermore, it helps the young ones in preparing themselves for school. Secondly, some films feature moral lessons which instill values and virtues to the audience. Both components are vital to a child on becoming a good member of society.

In conclusion, children will learn so many good things from watching TV and movies. However, if left unattended, chances of learning bad things are also possible. Adults should be responsible in controlling the kind of film being viewed by children. In addition, proper guidance is also necessary to avoid misconceptions.
gmad06   
Jul 10, 2013
Writing Feedback / IELTS TASK 2: I think it is worth being a celebrity in spite of the problems [3]

Introduction is confusing and unbalanced.You were mentioning some examples of problems being a celebrity
and nothing on its benefits. Yet you still agree that being a celebrity brings more benefits
.

Aside from grammar, first body is quite okay except the example given. I don't think its relevant to your statement.

They are respected by the common people as their outstanding and professional performance. For example, a great football player has appealed to most of his fans to save children from hunger.

you were talking about performance on the statement while being participative in charitable activities in your example

Second body needs to be expanded.

Hope this helps...
gmad06   
Jul 10, 2013
Writing Feedback / 'cultural homogenization'; Effects of increasing tourism in different countries [6]

As the result of globalization, international travel's expense are now declined and tourism activity is now rising.

Some of the major effects caused by globalization include the increase of tourism actvity and decrease of international expense. try to observe parallelism,this sentence could also be further shortened.

This has become one of the significant issues for every countries

this phrase is misleading because previous sentence has two subjects

The following essay will analyzes the effect of increased tourism activity in the economy

The volume of tourists ascending on many tourist attractions means

The ascending volume of visitors on many tourist attractions means

Moreover, accelerating tourism activities generates

accelerating is not the correct word for this..

Overall i have noticed frequent grammar issues,wrong choice of words. Nevertheless,you have good ideas for the essay prompt.
gmad06   
Jul 8, 2013
Writing Feedback / IELTS TASK2:Should driving be taught at school? [10]

hi pahan and dumi...thanks for the feedback..

it is a good writing, but i think learning rules and driving skills at school is a good way to decrease the car accidents , but teaching children how to drive a car is dangerous....i took benefit from your writing...thanx.;)

it is my pleasure..yes I think that would be a great insight for this prompt also..all the best.
gmad06   
Jul 2, 2013
Writing Feedback / IELTS TASK 2: Fixed or variable punishment for crimes [7]

Hi Guys. Once again I will be needing you kind advice with this piece I made.Thanks.

TASK:
Some people believe that there should be fixed punishments for each type of crime.Others,however,argue that the circumstances of an individual crime, and the motivation for commiting it,should always be taken into account when deciding on the punishment.


Concerns about reviewing crimes and their corresponding penalties have been numerously raised in the civil society. Many stand to the theory that crimes should receive the same degree of punishment regardless of situation and intention. Both views of individuals in favor and against this theory will be discussed.

People in favor of equal punishment claimed that justice is best served when no considerations are taken in to account. Moreover, if crimes were viewed in a flat perspective, potential crimes would be reduced since individuals will be aware that the chances of being acquitted will be low. Thus, through equal punishment it is believed that society would be more safe and secure.

However, many are also against this theory. It is without a doubt that humans are gifted with wisdom for the purpose of seeking justice and truth. This is what separates humanity from computers: why would you judge a crime logically when you can do it rationally? A perfect example of this is euthanasia or otherwise called as mercy-killing. Logically, the act of killing a person itself is a crime. But the act of releasing a victim from his endless suffering is considered a good deed. Thus, the killer with a motive of helping does not deserve to receive the same amount of punishment as normal killers do.

In my opinion, it is more human to carefully review the circumstances of the violation being done. In addition, the type of punishment should be variable depending to the degree of crime.
gmad06   
Jul 2, 2013
Writing Feedback / IELTS TASK2:Should driving be taught at school? [10]

It is true that in most cases of juvenile drivers

Including Such driving in the school curriculum would not force anyone to do it.

I am quite confused. This will give an entirely different meaning on my sentences..please enlighten me further.

Neverthless, thanks for the feedback.
gmad06   
Jul 2, 2013
Writing Feedback / IELTS TASK 2: raising the age of retirement. should or shouldn't? [5]

by repeatedly reading, your essay prompt can be re-phrased to:
Do you agree that retirement age should be increased because people are living longer nowadays?
Have you responded to that question?

However, I disagree with this statement

It is best to have this statement in either intro or conclusion paragraph, rather than body paragraphs..

Hope this helps..
gmad06   
Jul 2, 2013
Writing Feedback / IELTS-Fixed Punishment for each type of crime?or Consider circumstances & motivation? [5]

crime and punishment has always been

- subject and linking verb

While others think that all of the crimes have to be investigated exactly as well as circumstances and motivation should be considered for judging and punishing them fairly.

break this sentence into two

take two murderers for an example who has killed someone

naturally murderers killed someone that is why they are called as such

In conclusion,crime and punishment have always existed and the main thing is not to punish but to penalize fairly.

besides that it is short, I think it does not relate much to the ideas you have presented in your body paragraphs.

To give you more essay structure ideas I will be using this prompt on my next work
gmad06   
Jul 1, 2013
Writing Feedback / IELTS TASK2:Should driving be taught at school? [10]

Young drivers are careless and overconfident, and too many are killed in accidents. To eliminate this problem, we could teach children the skills of safe driving while they are at school. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Throughout the years, the frequency of road accidents has been witnessed as an increasing trend in mankind. It is true that in most cases juvenile drivers are behind these tragic events. However, I do not agree that it is necessary to include driving lessons at school to solve this issue.

Firstly, the risk and choice to learn driving should be a personal option, not a compulsory requirement for everyone. Including driving in the school curriculum would force everyone to do it. This is unfair especially to those who think driving is not yet necessary for them to learn. Persons who opt to learn driving should avail the services of establishments like driving schools and private instructors.

Secondly, if schools were to include driving in their lessons, ironically they are encouraging children to drive at a young and immature age. Law prohibits driving under the age of 18 because these young individuals are considered to be prone in making wrong decisions under critical situations. In the secondary school I went before, faculty took road accidents seriously. They are against on parents consenting their children to drive. Thus, if students were caught doing such acts, they will be suspended for a few days.

Lastly, values like discipline are essential to become a responsible driver. He should control himself to avoid harmful things like drugs and alcohol. Unlike family, schools are limited to theoretically provide ideas and examples only in teaching moral values. Parents are the best teachers for their children in this area since they can be role models and they can show them real life situations.

Overall the aspects of individual preference, maturity, and teaching of moral values lead us to the theory that it is not recommended to have driving lessons taught at school in order to address problems in road accidents.
gmad06   
Jul 1, 2013
Writing Feedback / IELTS essay - How can young people be made responsible drivers? [8]

Young drivers are careless and overconfident, and too many are killed in accidents. To eliminate this problem, we could teach children the skills of safe driving while they are at school. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

this seems to be a good essay prompt, I will do my own revision to give you an idea of a different essay structure
gmad06   
Jun 28, 2013
Writing Feedback / IELTS; Is CHANGE good or bad? / People's preferences [3]

Although the main topic of your essay is "change". Try to go for synonyms to reduce
its repitition.

It is advisable to pause readers on cohesive words, so try to put commas on them.

I hope this helps.
gmad06   
Jun 26, 2013
Writing Feedback / IELTS TASK1:Letter to inform a friend about his accomodation [6]

It should say "My wife has heard so much about you and she would love to meet you."

this is weird to think that I have been reminding other forumers here about the same error.thanks buddy...cheers
gmad06   
Jun 26, 2013
Writing Feedback / IELTS TASK2:who should take care of the elderly,family or professionals? [4]

The good news is that you have some elements of a strong essay here. The not-so-good news is that THEY AREN'T arranged in an optimal way.

Receiving this compliment from a renowned forumer like you made me the most proud student here..thanks..
tell you what, I will be revising this essay with the keypoints you advised...many thanks John
gmad06   
Jun 25, 2013
Writing Feedback / IELTS TASK2:who should take care of the elderly,family or professionals? [4]

Again, I would like to seek your help in assessing my essay.Thank you for the endless support.Cheers!

TASK:It is better for elderly people to live in special places and look after by professional people more than live with noisy and young members in their own families. To what extend do you agree or disagree with the statement".

In modern times, matters like family relations have been considered to be one of our top priorities. At a certain point, one has to make a decision on who should take care of the elderly. Would it be preferable to avail the services of professionals or should they stay at home with their families as traditionally practised?

For one, most of the concerns of old people are properly attended under the supervision of skilled and experienced individuals. Moreover, elderly staying at special homes will not feel lonely and left out because they will surely meet others, who have common interests, in that place. However, on the downside they might feel abandoned by their own family. This practice is commonly seen in business-oriented countries such as Singapore. They have depended much on the provision of home for the aged facilities and caregiver professionals. Although they are expensive, these facilities have been highly utilized because of the convenience they have provided through their services.

In culture-oriented countries like Philippines, younger generations are morally bound to look after the old as they become mature persons. Many are against this practice for the fact that in most cases young and innocent members of the family have been assigned the task of taking care of the elderly. The noisy atmosphere brought about by teenagers and toddlers could also lead to restlessness. But despite these negative impacts, majority still prefer to be taken care of their family because they feel special about it. Presence of comfort and happiness is felt much around the people you love.

As shown above, both ideas have good and bad points to influence a decision. In today's busy life, I believe that it is better to seek the services of a professional. There is greater assurance that the elderly people are more safe and secure in the hands of expert individuals.
gmad06   
Jun 25, 2013
Writing Feedback / IELTS TASK 1; Internet Usage in Taiwan during 3 years from 1998 [6]

number of users was the young people

noun plural - linking verb should be plural,try to remember this

In contrast with the number of young users decreased significantly among three years.

I did not understand this statement clearly, try to put the reader on pause like In contrast, the number of young users...
gmad06   
Jun 25, 2013
Scholarship / No community service work course; SCHOLARSHIP/ Proposed study [6]

Many study fieldsare provided to students every year in Laos

Therefore, skilled people from overseas from community service work course could fill the gap of lacking of human resource in this field to help national development projects in both, urban and rural areas in Laos and play an important role in increasing a number of human resources in the study field through capacity building program

too much chaos is seen in this sentence, avoid compounding more than two sentences to reduce error

break your main ideas into paragraphs

hope this helps
gmad06   
Jun 24, 2013
Writing Feedback / IELTS TASK1:Letter to inform a friend about his accomodation [6]

Write a letter to a foreign friend that is coming for a vacation in your country and he would like to stay at your place. Unfortunately, you cannot accommodate him.

- Tell him the reason why you cannot accommodate him.
- Recommend a new place for his stay
- Invite him again to visit on your free time


Hi Greg,

Sorry if it took me a couple of weeks to reply your mail. I have been busy with our ongoing project at work. With regard to your query about the accommodation, I regret to inform you that I will not be able to host you next month on your stay here at Singapore.

We decided to let our parents come over next month to take over our nanny, who will be away for weeks to attend her sister's wedding. I think it would be inappropriate to accommodate too many guests at the same time considering that I am sharing the house with another family. Please do not let this incident spoil your trip. Let me help you find better alternatives. I know lots of recommended hotels which are a few blocks away from my place. Definitely, most of them have all the amenities you might need and I am sure they are inexpensive too. Just advise me your preference so that everything will be arranged prior to your arrival.

Again, I hope you understand my situation and I am truly sorry for this unfortunate news. Nevertheless, if you have spare time please come and visit us. My wife have heard so much about you and she would love to meet you. I have provided our residential address and phone number below. See you soon.

Regards,
Chandler
gmad06   
Jun 24, 2013
Writing Feedback / Talent vs Training - Talent is more important! [5]

Your essay structure definitely needs improvement.
Seems like you have two conclusion paragraphs,
you have a paragraph with a single sentence only
try to elaborate your ideas to make your essay longer
gmad06   
Jun 20, 2013
Writing Feedback / IELTS TASK1:Complain letter for wrong information on a product's AD [3]

I hope you guys can help assess the letter I composed.an IELTS band score would be great
all comments and suggestions are welcome..thanks..

Task :
You have purchased an item after gone through an advertisement. But some of the information in the advertisement, was wrong about the purchased product. Write a letter to the manufacturer about it. In your letter,

- mention the product you purchased and about the advertisement
- what went wrong with the information and describe your problem
- what you want the manufacturer to do and ask for the solution


Dear Sir / Madam,

I am writing to express my dissatisfaction on one of your latest television product, particularly Smart TV EX500.I purchased a set 3 days ago from one of your authorized retail shop in Southlane street. I was disappointed when I found out the unavailability of the wireless feature.

As advertised in television commercials, I was expecting that this model is capable of connecting to the internet without any hassle. After unboxing and experimenting, I discovered that the unit requires a dongle for wireless functionality, which is essential if associating the unit to internet. Not only will the dongle cost me additional 300 dollars but it will also take a couple of weeks to be delivered. I hope you understand how upset I am to be in this situation.

Overall I have decided it is better-off to upgrade the unit to a higher model. I need your assistance to approve my request to trade the unit I have purchased with Smart TV SX500. I am prepared to pay for the price difference if necessary. I would also suggest that you review the advertisement for this product to avoid future unhappy customers.

I hope to hear from you soon.

Yours faithfully,
Chandler
gmad06   
Jun 19, 2013
Writing Feedback / IELTS; Business letter explaining the reasons why I want to be away from work [5]

It is not required but it is good to have at least two sentences in your
first paragraph. You may come up with something like mentioning partly
why you need to take leave and discuss it further in the second paragraph.

Don't forget to write closing remarks such as "yours sincerely" they count in IELTS exam.
gmad06   
Jun 19, 2013
Writing Feedback / IELTS; CHANGE or ROUTINE LIFESTYLE? Which one is better? [5]

In my opinion,change is unavoidable and necessary if someone wants to keep up with the fast pace of modern life.However, to become addicted to changes maybe partly bad,because it makes people whimsy and estrange them from realistic and valuable traditions.

Am I right to assume that in your opinion paragraph you are still in between those two statements?

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