eddies [Contributor]
Aug 17, 2016
Writing Feedback / Education and lifestyle. Causes and Effects of Overweight Children - IELTS Task 2 [2]
Welcome to EF!
Without further ado, let me go in a straight forward case of the introduction.
You have shown us a very good intro, but it takes some time to analyze whether you have successfully paraphrase the prompt or not since we have no question attached. For the following essay, it is mandatory that you have to include the prompt.
A closer look at the red phrase shows that there must some brilliant ideas, but sadly you did not mention them at all. You are suggested explaining you ideas exactly upfront in order to give a headline to your readers.
NB. If you fail to present an introduction with appropriate structure, then it affects your body paragraphs and therefore, I am sure that your score will be lower .
Welcome to EF!
Without further ado, let me go in a straight forward case of the introduction.
You have shown us a very good intro, but it takes some time to analyze whether you have successfully paraphrase the prompt or not since we have no question attached. For the following essay, it is mandatory that you have to include the prompt.
As we known that overweight has several negative effects for human kind.
A closer look at the red phrase shows that there must some brilliant ideas, but sadly you did not mention them at all. You are suggested explaining you ideas exactly upfront in order to give a headline to your readers.
NB. If you fail to present an introduction with appropriate structure, then it affects your body paragraphs and therefore, I am sure that your score will be lower .