Writing Feedback /
There are some people in this world who earn a billion dollar per year [2]
Hi Mr. Imho.. your writing is good but I would like to give some correction. hope it helps you :)
Successful sports professionals can earn
a great deal moremore much money than people
inwith other important professions. Some people think
that this is fully justified [
why?] while others think
that it is unfair [
why?].
Sports professionals such as football player can earn a billion dollar per year.
For this reason , Some people think that it is too much for their profession
. They also think that their job is easier than other jobsas this job is easier than any other profession . However, I personally believe that it is suitable for their qualities [
why? ].
I would argue that many professional players earn greater
amount of money than other workers such as professional designer. Take Cristiano Ronaldo as an example, he earns over a billion dollar per year as football player in Spain. It is very unfair where some professional workers such as scientist or designer just earn under a million dollar per year. [
conclusion ]
In addition, the risk of sport
's players is less than some kinds of job such as fire fighter. Result [
from where? ] shows that many
of fire fighters died when they
did their jobsare on duty , while it is rare
case thatwhen athlete died in the competition.
Therefore, It is unfair
whenthat fire fighter just earn less money than sports professionals.
On the other hand, to become top sports person, football player should train intensely and finish their football academies. This is because
the number of competition
inof football is becoming more and more increase over the world especially in England. Statistic shows that only 2% of students in sport academies can perform in international competition like England league. As a result, many of player like Indonesia football athlete cannot be
a top player even playing in Europe league. It is thus clear that to be
a professional player
isneeds a big effort , while only fewer
people can
exist injoin international league.