Writing Feedback / The distribution of population in three areas of the Northwest region - IELTS 1 [3]

The bar chart gives information about the percentage of distribution of population in three areas of the Northwest region (urban, suburban and rural) in 1900, 1950, 2000 and an estimated percentage in 2050.

Overall, there was a significant increase in the proportion of people who live the suburbs over 1900 and 2000. In contrast, the percentage of people who lived in the rural areas considerably decreased, while the percentage of urban population was more or less stable. The highest percentage of population was in the rural area in 1900, however, it is predicted that this percentage will be the lowest in 2050. Eventually, this percentage will be strikingly similar to the percentage of population in the suburban regions in 1900.

Although people in the past tended to live in the countryside, their tendency significantly changed through time to settle in the suburban area of the Northwest region. In 1900, the percentage of population was 65% in the rural area. Then, it went down to 20% in 2000, while, in the suburbs, the population was 10%. Then, it steadily went up until it reached 40% which is the same percentage of population in urban area in the same year. The urban area witnessed a minimal growth of about 10% compared by percentage of 1900 and 1950.

By 2050, it is expected that the population will reach approximately 55% in the suburban area, while it is forecast to fall down to 10% in the rural area. Concerning the urban area, the population will be similar to the one of 1900 and 1950, which was about 35%.

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Writing Feedback / TV programmes Australian viewers charts - IELTS (Task 1) [3]

The charts give information about two genres of TV programmes watched by men and women and four different age groups in Australia.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Both bar charts illustrate the percentage of Australian viewers of two kinds of TV shows (reality and game). These viewers were divided into two groups according to their gender (males and females) and into four groups according to their age (from 16 to above 45).

Overall, what stands out from the data reveals that the majority of people who watch reality programmes were women, whereas most people who watch game shows were those aged 45 and above (approximately 70%). Additionally, it is clear that the percentage of men who tend to watch reality TV shows was the lowest compared to those aged 25 - 34 who watch game programmes.

To begin with, the rate of women who watch reality tv programmes (slightly under 70%) was significantly greater than that of men who watch the same shows, which was below 40%. Moreover, the percentage of reality shows viewers gradually increased from 50% which is the percentage of people aged 16-24 to nearly 70% of the age group 45 and older.

On the other hand, the rates of males and females who watch game programmes were strikingly similar. Furthermore, the percentage of people aged 25-34 were the least in this category while those 45 years old or over were the highest percentage, with almost 70%.

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Writing Feedback / The percentage of non-working females in England, Wales, Scotland and Northern Ireland - IELTS 1 [2]

The graph below shows female unemployment rates in each country of the United Kingdom in 2013 and 2014.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
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The bar chart illustrates the percentage of unemployed women in the four countries of the United Kingdom (England, Scotland, Wales and Northern Ireland) in the years 2013 and 2014.

Overall, in 2014, the rates of non-working females increased in Scotland, however, it decreased in England, Wales and Northern Ireland. The highest rate was in England in 2013, while the lowest rate was in Northern Ireland in 2014.

In 2014, the rate of unemployed females in England, Wales and Northern Ireland went down. It fell to 6.5% in England, 5.0% in Wales and 4.6% in Northern Ireland which made the country of lowest female unemployment rate of the four countries.

On the other hand, Scotland was the only country which witnessed an increase in the female unemployment rate in 2014 compared by 2013 by a percentage of 0.6%. The rate was 6.1% in 2013 but it rose to 6.7% in 2014.

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Writing Feedback / Cell phones have some benefits, but they increase car accidents. TOEFL integrated essay [2]

Summarize the main points of this reading passage and explain how the points made in the lecture cast doubts on them.

In this set of materials, the reading passage claims that cell phones have some benefits, but they increase car accidents especially when they are used by drivers. However, the speaker casts doubts on the claims of the author. She asserts that car accidents are caused by many factors other than using cell phones while driving.

First of all, the writer states that cell phones are the main reason for car accidents. In contrast, the speaker refutes this point of view by affirming that a recent study has proven that 80 percent of car accidents are due to drivers' inattention. Most drivers are distracted by many common activities such as changing the radio station, talking to passengers, reaching for falling objects or even using the GPS.

Furthermore, the author avouches that mobile phones should be restricted while driving. However, the speaker doubts this idea by affirming that the use of cell phones on highways saves many lives. For instance, the use of them to report about car accidents reduces the time of intervention which saves many lives. Mobile phones are also useful to call for help while having mechanical issues with cars.

To sum up, the benefits of cell phones outweigh their drawbacks.

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Writing Feedback / Getting married to a person who is different from me is better. TOEFL independent essay [2]

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?

It is better to marry someone who is similar to you, rather than someone who is different from you.

Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

Choosing a partner is one of the crucial decisions that a person may take in his or her whole life because it deeply affects his or her life for good on many levels. Some people think that choosing a person who is similar to them is better while others feel the opposite. As far as I am concerned, I believe that getting married to a person who is different from me is better because this person can complete me, allow me to discover myself and help me to raise our children.

First of all, getting married to a person who is different from me complete me. While choosing a spouse, it is important to focus on what this person will add to my life and avoid the persons who have the same bad habits. For example, one of my friends who gets angry easily and always loses her temper got married to a man with the same problem which turned their life together into a nightmare.

Secondly, choosing a person who is different from me will give me the chance to know myself better. He can also teach me new things and open my eyes on my bad habits which help me to change them be a better person.

Thirdly, a person with different habits and personality can help me in raising my children. For instance, my cousin, who is a shallow woman and cares a lot about fashion and fancy clothes, got married to an intelligent man. Her husband takes care of their children and helps them in doing their school homework.

To sum up, choosing the appropriate spouse is not an easy decision. This may differ from one person to another. While some people think that picking a person who is similar to them is better, I think that getting married to a person who is different from me can complete me, let me know myself better and help me to take care of my kids.

Writing Feedback / Animal-assisted therapy is beneficial. TOEFL integrated essay [2]

Summarize the main points of the reading passage and explain how they are supported by the information presented in the lecture.

The promising method for curing some diseases

The writer states that animal-assisted therapy is beneficial to cure people with emotional and physical health issues. Likewise, the professor supports this idea and explains the role of pets in the recovery of heart diseases.

First of all, the author states that animal-assisted therapy has many advantages. He points out that it positively affects the emotional health especially for those who suffer from loneliness. Moreover, developing relationships with animals reinforces trust and helps people to get rid of anxiety. Furthermore, this therapy helps people to improve their physical health.

Similarly, the professor asserts that pets are good to enhance the health of people with heart problems. He explains the experiment led by the university hospital to illustrate his point of view. In this experiment, two groups of people with heart problems were treated differently; one of them was given drugs and followed a diet but without practicing exercises. However, the other group was provided dogs to take care of them, this includes feeding and playing with them and take them for a walk too. The result of this experiment has shown that the blood pressure of the group that was treated with pets was decreased more than the other group. Additionally, they lost weight and become happier compared to the group which got a medical treatment.

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Writing Feedback / Division of schools in the United States. TOEFL integrated essay [NEW]

Hey, I am waiting for your comments even though I am not satisfied with this essay :( :)

Summarize the main points in the lecture, explaining how they cast doubt on the ideas in the reading passage.
(160 words)

The write explains the division of schools in the United States. However, the professor explores the disadvantages of this system.

First of all, the author points out that graded schools in the US, which are influenced by the European system of school organization, starts with primary grades in which students start studying at the age of five or six years. The professor disagrees with this politic because it does not respect the differentiation of individuals. Additionally, he explains that at this age some students are not mature enough and they are not ready for learning.

Another point is, as the reading passage states, students who fail in meeting some requirements of a particular grade are asked to repeat the year. However, the professor sees this as unfair for them because they have to repeat the whole year because of one or two requirements. He asserts that this can make students feel boring which leads them to get lower scores.

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Writing Feedback / The impact of advances in technology on office workers productivity- TOEFL integrated essay [5]

Summarize the points made in the lecture, being sure to explain how they respond to the specific points made in the reading passage.

Both the writer and the professor are discussing the impact of advances in technology on office workers. The author states that this advance reduces the productivity of workers and causes them health issues; however, the professor asserts that technology increases workers' productivity.

First of all, the writer affirms that advances in technology affects adversely the employees' productivity. He explains that those who stay the whole day on their desks and do not leave it even in lunch time have health problems which lead them to be less productive.

On the other hand, the professor avouches that technology is an important factor in increasing office workers productivity. To illustrate this idea, she provides the example of the photocopy machines used in the past which needs an assistant to accomplish the job and the modern ones which work without assistance. Moreover, the professor points out that emails have reduced time and efforts spent on holding face to face meetings which increases the productivity of office employees.

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Writing Feedback / The relationship between children's grades and TV. TOEFL integrated essay [2]

Summarize the points made in the lecture, being sure to explain how they respond to the specific points made in the reading passage.

Both the professor and the writer are discussing the effects of watching television on the children's performance at school. They explain the relationship between children's grades and the number of hours spent in front of television and they suggest some solutions to enhance their grades.

First of all, the writer states that the children's performance at school is negatively affected by the number of hours they spend watching television. He affirms that they get low grades compared by those who spend fewer hours or do not watch television at all. The professor refutes this point and by giving the example of Japanese children who get high grades even though they spend more hours to watch television than their American peers.

Secondly, both the writer and the professor suggest some solutions to improve children's performance at school. The writer states that television should be used as an educational tool. Likewise, the professor agrees with this idea. Moreover, the writer proposes that parents should not allow their offspring to watch TV because it makes them passive and distract them from doing their homework, however, the professor opposes this idea and recommends that parents should choose appropriate TV programs for their youngsters and encourage them to be active by other activities such as visiting museums, zoos or playing outside.

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Writing Feedback / Reading passage and the lecture are discussing the danger of invasive plants- TOEFL integrated essay [2]

Hey, I tried to upload a picture of reading passage and the audio file but it doesn't work :/ Any suggestions.
This is my integrated essay. waiting for your feedbacks :)

Summarize the points made in the lecture, being sure to explain how they respond to the specific points made in the reading passage.

Plants and Animals Research

Both the reading passage and the lecture are discussing the danger of invasive plants. They are both explaining the reason of introducing them to a new area, their characteristics and their negative impacts on the native plants and animals.

First of all, the writer states that there are several reasons why nonnative plants are brought to the United States. These reasons are food, medicine, or because they resist drought or simple because they are beautiful and people like them. The professor agrees with this point and provides the example of Garlic Mustard plant to illustrate this idea. She states in her lecture that this plant is brought for nutrition and medicine reasons.

Secondly, the writer explains the characteristics of the nonnative plants. According to him, these plants are called invasive because they grow wildly and they are aggressive; they shade the native plants and prevent them to get food and water. Likewise, the professor asserts this fact and explains that the invasive plants struggle with native plants on food, space and light.

Thirdly, the writer explores the drawbacks of invasive plants. This latter reduce the number of native plants and animals. Similarly, the professor avouches this point and provides the example of the butterfly whose eggs cannot hatch if they put on the Garlic Mustard leaves.

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Writing Feedback / I believe that the knowledge that I have acquired from my experiences is more important - TOEFL [4]

It has been said "Not everything that is learned is contained in books." Compare and contrast knowledge gained from experience with knowledge gained from books. In your opinion, which source is more important? Why?

I have a great passion for reading books because they have opened my eyes on many facts and have shaped my way of thinking. However, despite of the undeniable benefits of books, I still believe that the knowledge that I have acquired from my experiences is more important because it enabled me to develop my skills and be more mature.

First of all, experience gives us the chance to improve our skills. When we want to learn a new skill, reading about it in books is not always sufficient. We generally have to experience it and practice it until we master it. For example, in order to learn academic writing, I did not just read books that deal with this topic but I also practised writing every day.

Additionally, with experience, we become more mature. It teach us how get ourselves from troubles. For instance, managing to get myself out from a difficult situation will teach me more than if I read a story about how to deal with troubles in a book, which I may forget after a while.

To sum up, books have a valuable importance; however, it is outweighed by the importance of experience. This latter allows us to hone our skills and practise the different knowledge that we read about them in books.

Writing Feedback / I am inclined to oppose constructing a factory in my near community - TOEFL independent essay [2]

Hey, it's me again. I find a lot of difficulties to reach 300 words while focusing on finding the appropriate ideas and rewriting the sentences several times to avoid mistakes within 30 minutes. Here is my essay. I am waiting for your feedbacks. :-)

A company has announced that it wishes to build a large factory near your community. Discuss the advantages and the advantages of this new influence on your community. Do you support or oppose the factory? explain your position.

(194 words)

Factories play an important role in the development of the economy of countries. However, despite people think that building a factory may provide jobs; there are drawbacks accompanying this factory. Therefore, I am inclined to oppose constructing a factory in my near community because it negatively affects the environment.

First of all, a factory can destroy the environment of my community. It emits gases that can cause several diseases such as asthma. It also pollutes the underground water and rivers by releasing unclean water in them. The soil also has its share of this pollution; the garbage thrown by factories destroys fertilized lands that surround the factory.

On the other hand, the supporters of the idea of building a factory in their city think that it will create more jobs. This is true, however, these new jobs will attract people from different places which lead to growing the society, more roads and houses will be built, and traffic problems will also be created.

To sum up, despite of the merits of building a factory in my city, they are outweighed by the disadvantages. A factory can create new jobs but it can also pollute the environment.

Writing Feedback / A good neighbor must be respectful and thoughtful - TOEFL independent essay [2]

Neighbors are the people who live near us. In your opinion, what are the qualities of a good neighbor? Use specific reasons and examples in your answer.

There is an Arabic proverb that goes "Choose the neighbor before you choose the house", which means, while choosing a house to buy, neighbors are more important than the house. In my opinion, a good neighbor must be respectful and thoughtful.

First of all, a good neighbor respects his neighbors. He does not make noise after midnight or when one of his neighbors is sick. He always greets the other neighbors whenever he sees them. For example, I remember one of my neighbors who was an old man, waters the plants of his front garden, every morning, and greets every passerby with a smile. One day, he did not show up as usual, everyone missed him. When they went to ask about him, they found out that he was sick.

Additionally, a good neighbor must be thoughtful. He cares about his neighbors and ready to help them in the times of need. He also has a sense of responsibility; whenever one of his neighbors has a trouble he rushes to give him a helping hand. Besides that, he remembers his neighbors in the special occasions and celebrations. For instance, the lady who lives next door likes cooking and always sends us dishes and cakes, especially in the religious occasions.

To sum up, a neighbor is not less important than the house. With respectful and thoughtful neighbors, anyone can live in peace and harmony in his neighborhood.

Writing Feedback / A big city is better for children to grow up- TOEFL independent essay [2]

It is better for children to grow up in the countryside than in a big city. Do you agree or disagree? Use specific reasons and examples to develop your essay.

Life in a big city is not as easy as life in countryside because life in this latter is calm and comfortable. But when it comes to children, I prefer to choose what is better for their future. That is why, I am inclined to believe that a big city is better for children to grow up, in order to get better education and have a lot of activities to do in their spare time.

To begin with, children get better education in a big city. They acquire knowledge in the best schools and by the best teachers because schools in big cities use modern methods and techniques to instruct learners. Moreover, these schools have different clubs and sport teams which enable children to develop their talents and even give them the chance to win scholarships. For example, one of my relatives, who lives in a big city, joined the soccer team of his school, this allow him to win a scholarship and pursue his studies at a ranked university.

Beyond education, children can do a lot of activities in their spare time. Big cities have several amenities, in which children can learn and have fun such as parks, museums, theaters and art exhibitions. They can learn, by visiting museums, the history of their countries. For instance, during my stay in the capital of my country, I visited a lot of museums, where I learnt more about the history of my country. I also visited several art exhibitions. These visits taught a lot about modern art and the techniques used in painting, which I will not discover if I went to countryside.

To conclude, children can live in countryside a calm and easy life compared to life in big city; however, the merits of this latter is countless. As far as I am concerned, life in a big city assure better education to children and it provides them places to learn, socialize and enjoy life.

Writing Feedback / I have always believed that hard work is the key to success - TOEFL independent essay [2]

"When people succeed, it is because hard work. Luck has nothing to do with this success." Do you agree or disagree with the quotation above? Use specific reasons and examples to explain your position.

There is a proverb that goes "genius is one percent inspiration and ninety-nine percent perspiration". Although some people spend their whole lives waiting for a miracle to make their dreams come true. I have always believed that hard work is the key to success, especially for people who want to achieve an academic success or to be wealthy.

To begin with, People must work hard in order to succeed at school. Success can be achieved by trying several times, no matter what difficulties people face. They must not let themselves defeated by previous failures. For example, even though I got seventeen in the writing section last time I took the TOEFL test, which was the first time I take it, I did not stop practicing hard to improve my score in this section.

Additionally, people who want to be rich cannot depend on only luck to succeed. Even luck needs preparation which is based on hard work. As the saying goes "luck is when preparation meets opportunity." For instance, I heard about a man who became rich by winning the lottery. But his fortune did not last forever because he did not use it in a financial project. Thus, a stroke of luck can make a person wealthy but it does not make him a successful person; however, making good plans,to use gained money in projects, and working hard to realize these plans can make a person successful .

To sum up, I believe that without hard work people cannot achieve success. Even the success achieved by chance is temporary, and does not last for a long time without making efforts and working hard.

Writing Feedback / In order to work in a productive atmosphere, co-workers must have some specific characteristics. [4]

TOEFL independent essay

We all work or in jobs with many different kinds of people. In your opinion, what are some important characteristics of a co-worker (someone you work closely with)? Use reasons and specific examples to explain why these characteristics are important.

At work, we meet people from different backgrounds. In order to work in a productive atmosphere, co- workers must have some specific characteristics. Personally, I am inclined to work with collaborative and reliable people.

To begin with, collaboration is an important characteristic in a co-worker. It allows him to work within a team. A collaborative co-worker is ready to assist his colleagues even if this means that he has to work for extra hours. For example, a couple of years ago, while we were preparing for an important project, one of my co-workers had a family death which prevented him to come to work. So I decided with my colleagues to devise his work and do it on his behalf. It was a great initiative that helped the company and my co-worker as well.

Additionally, it is important to work with reliable people. In every job, there are secrets that must not be known by others. Therefore, it is important to work with co-workers who can be trusted and can count on them. For instance, one of my co-workers had told a work secret to a competing company. His mistake cost our company a valuable loss.

To sum up, there are many characteristics that a co-worker must have. As far as I am concerned, a co-worker must be collaborative and reliable. These two merits create a healthy environment at the workplace.