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Posts by Linda91
Name: Linda
Joined: Jan 28, 2016
Last Post: Feb 28, 2016
Threads: 30
Posts: 40  
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From: Indonesia

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Feb 1, 2016
Writing Feedback / IELTS - 20 minutes task - the sale of hybrid vehicles in global [2]

The bar chart shows information of the sale of hybrid vehicles around the world from 2006 to 2009, and it is measured by in the number of sales. Overall, it can be seen that US is the highest sales country over 3 over the first three years while in the last period japan dominated the global sales.

To begin, the number of transport sales stood at 250,000 in US in 2006, which was followed by that in japan and other in same number at around 50,000. Then, US saw a peak at 350,000 in 2007, but the sales of other countries increased minimally to around 10.000. Afterwards, 20008 saw a slight rise in japan and other, roughly 20.000 in each country. In opposite, there was a minimal decrease in US of approximately 40.000. At the end of the period, the sales in US also declined slightly to 290.000, but the other country and japan witnessed a sudden increase. Japan reached a peak at 270,000 in 2009 and the other also experienced minimal increase to around 15,000.

Feb 1, 2016
Writing Feedback / Colour as a powerful weapon against people's uninfluenced shopping decisions - IELTS TASK 2 [4]

#Colour is a powerful tool that is used to great effect by manufacturers (manufacture) and retail companies (company) when they try to sell us something. In fact, many of the purchasing decisions we make are partly or largely influenced by colour.

#people buy something since famous brands affect as well. (People buy something since famous brands affect).
Feb 1, 2016
Writing Feedback / Psychologists have known for many years that colour can affect how people feel [3]

#Colour in workplace is less important. It does not completely (complete) influencing performance of worker.

#For example, In London (Taking London as an instance), a survey carried out by Daniel Orcle in 2014 found that people working in blue room and those in white room result in the same good productivity sincehe believes that it depends on their own intelligence.
Feb 1, 2016
Writing Feedback / Doctors and inventors should collaborate in many aspects to bring community better life and future [4]

Inventors are not as important to society as doctors. To what extent do you agree with this statement?

Society need great people to bring them to the better life. Some people think that inventors have big role in community, but some others believe that doctors have bigger role in community. I think that both of them have same role, doctors are as substantial as inventors that are interconnected.

An invention is needed to bring community in forward life, so that their life can change into better life. For example, the invention of cutting-edge household appliances, such as Samsung smart home, it makes the life of society is easier than before because the tools like television and air conditioning can be controlled just in one device or wearable technology such as watches. As a results, people's life in a home become more convenient and saving their time. Thus, they can do other activity. There is no wonder that inventors are very significant in a large of group of people.

In addition, health aspects also have a huge role in community that involves doctors as they keep the health of society. For instance, the number of disease in some areas tend to increase every year, and an infected person is also increasing. Sometimes it usually spreads to their neighbor that raise people who are infected the disease. The presence of doctors in community becomes very important. The more many doctors do practice in society, the more people have easy access to the health. Hence, it can be seen from example that doctors have a big impact in community.

The aforementioned evidence shows that inventors are as important as doctors in society. Therefore, it can be better if doctors and inventors collaborate to bring community in better life and future in many aspects such as health and convenient life.
Feb 2, 2016
Writing Feedback / Money is the only motivation at work why people prefer working in the same company for many years [3]

People do need money to survive (work) to get money . Some people believe that the the (the) main motivator (motivation) for workers standing for a long time in one company(.) is earning a great amount of money (it is because they earn a great amount of money), while I argue that pleasure atmosphere and passion are factors considerably influencing loyalty of employees. (that influence of loyalty employee).
Feb 2, 2016
Writing Feedback / IELTS 1 - Money Spent on Books - France and Austria spent the most [2]

The line graph shows the change in the amount of money spent on books in some countries from 1995 to 2005 and is measured in millions of US dollars. Overall, it can be seen that, France and Austria show the upward trend along period, but Germany and Italy experience a fluctuation over 11 years.

To begin, France and Austria spent most money on books. They began at a fairly similar level during 3 years. Then, in France, 1999 saw a gradual increase to around 10, but Austria witnessed a levelling off at 40 in that year until 2001. Afterwards, Money spent on book in France rise slightly for the remainder of the period, while Austria increase dramatically from 2001 to 2005.

Turning to other countries, released funds on books in Germany saw small growth during the period 1995 to 1999, but then fell steadily over the next 5 years. Next, there was a sudden rise from 2003 to 2005. Another country, Italy witnessed a slow increase during 2 years, but then declined slowly approximately 50 between 1997 and 1999. Finally, there was increased steadily to around 65 at the end of period.

Feb 2, 2016
Writing Feedback / Music is a fundamental issue recently, since it offers enjoyment for a thousand people. IELTS 2 [5]

Music is a fundamental issue recently, since it offers enjoyment for a thousand people (music is a significant issue recently since it offers enjoyment for a thousand people). It is argued that kind of music as traditional song (a traditional song) will give more benefits rather than International song. While it was lack of listener.
Feb 2, 2016
Writing Feedback / There is no community spirit in high rise apartment blocks? Task 2 [2]

People live in a building and around society. One group of people think that living in high-rise flats block is an unhappy experience because there is no community spirit, but the other groups believe that it has something better in the way of feeling of society than living in houses. Whilst I believe that living in flats is a lonely experience, I firmly believe that it has the sense of social group and has great experience.

Social interaction is a substantial factor in psychological state of someone that determines what people feel such as lonely or happy. This is a problem for people who live in flats as usually they rarely do not know and meet their neighbor, so that there is no interaction in apartment. For example, most of people who live in flats are always spend their time in work place from morning to afternoon. Usually they go back in the night to sleep, so that it causes the lack of interaction among people in apartment. There is no wonder that many people in flats experience the lonely and dull life.

However, there are any rooms in apartment that can encourage people to make interaction, so they have good sense of society spirit, such as cafeteria in rooftop and public space in each floor. They can meet their relative, neighbor, or colleague in that place. For instance, remaining time to enjoy spare time in a day with neighbor in cafeteria is one of activity that some people do in flats. As a result, they have good relationship with other people in flat. As it can be seen from example, happy life can be obtained in flats.

In addition, the room arrangement of flats usually brings people in lobby and corridor that stimulate them to communicate with other residents. For instance, an apartment in Yogyakarta, Mataram city is one of flats that use one-corridor system in space planning apartment. As a consequent, residents frequently communicate with other occupants in that public space. There is no doubt that better sense of society can be reached with living in flats.

The aforementioned evidence shows that although living in apartment can cause a lonely life, but it enhances sense of community. Hence, do not worried to stay in flats because it can also increase sense of social group.
Feb 3, 2016
Writing Feedback / There are many factors for the crime rate increase among underaged people [2]

The crime rate among teenagers has increased in many countries.
Discuss some possible reasons for this increase and suggest solutions.

The number of teens who involve in criminal case has risen around the world. There are many reasons for this increase. The most significant excuse are divorce of parents and poverty. This problem can be overcome by linkage of parents, government and teenager itself.

Children from divorce parents are susceptible to get into crime or other anti-social activities as they lack affection from family and parental supervision. Some of children from incomplete family have problem in psychological and emotion in their life. According to research from scientific American, showed that only a relatively small percentage of children experience serious problems in the wake of divorce or, later, as adults. As a results, children join in bad community and they vent their sadness with criminal acts outside of the home. Family, especially parents, should intervene to their children because family condition is the most important impact and the key word for the people become who they are in the future. Parents should repair the communication relationship between husband and wife to protect their children from harmful effects of divorce.

The other reasons of high crime rate among teenagers is poverty which causes they can accomplish their school as other juvenile, so that they have tendencies to developing criminal. A researcher, Jens Ludwig and his team observe about urban poverty and juvenile crime in America. The experiment showed that particular concern of crime is the possibility that the volume of crime in America may be related in part to the spatial concentration of low-income families in high poverty. Education is very important part in people's life because it will develop good character, so that teenagers must have best education. As a consequence, they will avoid to get in law and take positive activity. This problem needs a contribution from government, such as providing scholarship.

The aforementioned evidence shows that some possible reasons of increasing crime rate in many countries is caused by divorce parents and poverty. Hence, Government and parent are the important party in this problem to make a good future generation. Parents must create health family ambiance in a home and must ensure what activities child do outside, either in school or hanging out. Also, government should pay more attention to the poor with access to cheap or free education.
Feb 3, 2016
Writing Feedback / IELTS - WRITING TASK 1 - estimated world illiteracy rates, separated by area and sex [2]

The bar chart illustrates estimated world literacy rates which is separated by region and by gender in 2000. At first glance it is evident that, female illiteracy was the higher than male illiteracy in all of areas, but the highest rate is in South Asia, either woman or man.

To begin, developed countries was the lowest rate in illiteracy, either male or female. It stood at around 1%. Also, the other areas such as Latin America/Caribbean had slight rates roughly 10% and 20%.

Turning to other three countries, Sub-Saharan Africa, Arab States, and South Asia witnessed a significant difference between women and man, with rates 30% in woman and 50% in man. In Sub-Saharan Africa, female illiterates were higher than male, with a gap approximately 18%. Next, Arab states was also had a dramatic number among two gender with 29% and 52% respectively. The highest rate of illiteracy was in South Asia, approximately 35% in women and 55% in man.

Feb 5, 2016

Therefore, I believe (that) i stand in the latter idea [...] utterly unacceptable as it can not helped them. (it cannot help them).

The general view has been (is) that drug addicts should be ...
... drugs cases in Indonesia, states that there is an increase in the number of ...
However, I believe (that) this is not the best way ...
Feb 5, 2016
Writing Feedback / (Practice writing) - Survey of adult education, motives and costs [5]

The most common reason are (the most common reason is) helpful for the jobs or improvement ...

it should be borne individuallyandemployers. --> "and" to determine the level of same words
interesting in the subject and to gain qualifications reached 40% and 38%

... enjoying learning or studying displays (display) each approximately 20%
Feb 5, 2016
Writing Feedback / The change of Stockfort village in 1930 and 2010 [5]

It is apparent (it appears) from the information that village was developing significantly with there was many housing and new road construct. . There was many housing and new construction of road.

To begin in 1930 to begin, in 1930, from the north to the south ...
Besides that, there are some farmlands on there over there. Then Then, there was a post office on the left side of the road, (.) Next, beside the north of building there were two shops and some houses (beside the north of building),(.) (Subsequently), the opposite was a primary school. In addition in the middle of town, a large house stayed (there was a large house in the middle of town) and this building (is) surrounded by a huge garden.
Feb 5, 2016
Writing Feedback / There are ten series of action in the process of chocolate production [3]

The diagram presents the process of making chocolate. It can be seen that there are ten series of action in the process, beginning with the pods on cacao trees and ending in the production of chocolate.

First, the chocolate comes from cacao tree, which is grown in three countries. They are south America, Africa, and Indonesia. After the cacao is ripe and red, the pods are harvested and the white cocoa beans are removed. Afterwards, next process is beans fermentation, which is followed by spreading the beans in sun so they can dry under the sun. Subsequently, the beans are put in large sacks, and then transported by train or truck to the factory. Beans are roasted at a temperature of 350 degrees. Following that, beans are crushed and they are separated from their outer shell. Finally, in the final stage, the inner part is pressed and the chocolate is produced.

Feb 5, 2016
Writing Feedback / Each student has their own study style. Which one is the most effective? [NEW]

Some people think that it is more effective for students to study in groups, while others believe that it is better for them to study alone.

Discuss both views and give your own opinion?

Each student has their own study style. One group of people believe that study in groups is more powerful, another group think that study alone is more effective to them. Whilst I believe that study alone is good to achieve satisfactory result, I firmly believe that study in group brings a greater result.

Some benefits can be gained from study alone for students such as improving focus and minimizing distraction as students only learn by themselves without interference from others. For example, sometimes students may find difficulties in one lesson. Then, they can stay long time and focus on it until they understand and find a solution. As a results, studying alone allows students to completely concentrate and minimize disruptions that can keep from retaining material. Also, it helps to avoid temptation when students work alone and minimal interruptions. It can be seen from example that study alone only just give little benefit.

However, study together brings many advantages for student such as expanding access to information because they have some study partner to share knowledge. Also, they can ask each other about a particular topic that they do not understand. For instance, in study together, students tend to share their knowledge or notes to others, so that students can understand and have detailed information regarding special topic. Also, they will help each other seeking problem solutions if one of them obtain a trouble. As a results, students spend time to study more effective in a relatively short time. It proves that study in group very useful for students itself.

In addition, study in groups boost motivation or spirit of students as they have friend to discuss a material or particular detail. For example, if you study alone, sometimes it is boring and students tend to fall asleep. Then, they do not continue to study. Studying together contains some person, so that students will tend to have big motivation and spirit to study. As a consequence, students have a passion to learn and review material with their partner, so that they can truly comprehend about lesson. It can be seen that study in group is good for the student.

The aforementioned evidence shows that even though studying alone is good for students but study in groups is better way for them. Hence, students must choose study in group in study style if they want to get study result maximally.
Feb 18, 2016
Writing Feedback / Improving social-media equipment in this era has an impact on communication among human beings [3]

In my point of view (in my opinion), I tend to agree with that ...

the bigger the impact (the bigger impact) of the electronic media as the communication make (makes) a longer relationship because media has a limitation of people face to face and interact with other people (Interaction among people).

Due to (due to + noun, It cannot be placed in the beginning of sentences) most of the people tend to ...
Feb 18, 2016
Writing Feedback / Electronic media can cause several disadvantages on personal relationships between humans. [7]

On the other hand (However), such media also have positive effect on helping people to communicate with their relatives or their friends who live far from their city. (for instance), A student who studies abroad definitely needs laptop or mobile phone to keep contact (to keep in touch) with his or her family. They use applications such as facebook or skype on their gadget to have chat or video call each other.
Feb 18, 2016
Writing Feedback / WIND TURBINES - how can be constructed and then activated by the wind if located in a proper place [8]

The diagrams illustrate how wind turbine can be constructed which can be activated by wind and show where it can be placed in different location. Overall, although wind turbines are built in 3 different locations, All of them can be operated well.

The component of wind turbines consists of blades-fiberglass or wood for windmill. Also, there is any wind sensor to adjust speed and direction. Then, generator is located below of wind sensor which has power to around 1.5 megawatts. These elements are supported by steel tower. The work of wind turbines is controlled by a computer. It will receive information from sensor that adjusts direction and angle of blades of wind turbines.

The wind turbines can be placed in land above sea level. It is an optimum location because turbines get maximum wind strength. Landscape should not spoil as well. Domestic turbine will generate power up to 100 kilowatts.
Feb 21, 2016
Writing Feedback / IELTS TASK 2 - a policy regarding smoking in public places [4]

..... While some believe that it is unfairinequitable , I would agree this notion ...

..... It is avoidableit is not avoidable that smoking in public area will make people in surrounding easily sufferedgetting lung disease easily .
Feb 21, 2016
Writing Feedback / Studying art for some students is fun, but many are having problem with it... [3]

In many schools, common argues appear that attending classes that children have disliked, --> common argues appear that children dislike to attend classes....

.... While schools think that focusing children to aptitude children's aptitude for practicals and creative subjects should be concentrated....
Feb 21, 2016
Writing Feedback / Network openings time, range of services and passengers number in some underground railway systems [2]

The table compares underground railways systems in six different cities including when network is opened, length of services, and passenger number. At first glance, it is evident that the oldest underground networks such in London, Paris, and Tokyo was larger and had a higher number of passengers than others such in Washington DC, Kyoto and Los Angeles.

Turning first to the Oldest network, the first largest system was in London. It was opened in 1863, with 394 kilometers of route and 775 million passengers per year. The second largest networks, in Paris, is only roughly a half the size of London underground and served 1191 passengers. The Tokyo systems was the highest passenger number, with 1927 passengers.

In contrast to this, the remaining 3 countries, Washington DC was the most extensive than the other networks in route, with 126 kilometers. That network served 144 million passengers per year. Next, the other networks were Kyoto and Los Angeles. They had a lower passenger than Washington DC with 45 million and 50 million respectively and had about a fifth of the route size of Washington DC.

Feb 21, 2016
Writing Feedback / The number of elderly people in Japan was stable between the years of 1960 and 1980. [2]

The line graph illustrates the proportion of elderly people in three different countries, USA, Sweden, and Japan. Overall, it can be seen that the portion of elderly citizens in all countries rises between 1940 and 2040.

To begin, from 1940 to 1980, the percentage of aged people in USA and Sweden stood at 9% and 6% respectively in 1960, and then increased slightly to 10% in Japan and 8% in Sweden in 1960. Afterwards, the population experienced gradual increase to 15% in the next year. Conversely, population of aged people in Japan witnessed slow decline. It was stood at 5% in 1940 and then decreased minimally to 3% in 1960. Next, the portion of elderly people in Japan was stable between 1960 and 1980.

Subsequently, in the following three decades, all the countries saw an upward trend and a peak. The population of aged people in japan reached a high of 27% in 2020 and it was the higher level than other countries which reached a peak at 25% in Sweden and 23% in USA.

Feb 21, 2016
Writing Feedback / It is sometimes argued that public libraries are not needed to be conserved [3]

public libraries are necessary

It is sometimes argued that public libraries is not needed to be conserved as much more money is spent to do it and the presence of computer technology can change the way of reading. While I agree that computer technology helps readers in many ways, I firmly believe that maintaining libraries is worthwhile.

Public libraries must kept because there are many benefits when paying attention to it in good maintenance. For example, the national library of Great Britain, there are many collection of book over time which is a home for a thousand ancient book and newest printed book. It is a good place to researchers and student across the world. Moreover, public libraries can be a place of learning of young generations. They can look and observe sequence of knowledge development from real book. Also, written book is priceless item and they convey knowledge for the next generation. Therefore, there is no doubt that public libraries must be maintained in good condition although it needs a lot of money.

However, advance technology such smartphones and computers brings many benefits for people to read book as it changes reading activity become much more convenient. Other reason is not everyone has enough time to go to public libraries. Free-ebook.net, for example, is useful website. It can be accessed by mobile phone or computers which allows users to devise nearly all types of book. In addition, readers can read every time and everywhere that they want. Hence, it can be seen from the example that computer technology change the way people read.

To sum up, I believe that maintaining public libraries are necessary even though computer technology gives an easy way in reading books.
Feb 21, 2016
Writing Feedback / Will public museums and art galleries disappear due to the rapid development of technology? [4]

Nowadays, it is the pros and cons that public museums and art galleries will disappear due to rapid development of technology such computer. I strongly disagree with this view, these building will still be necessary although people can see the art works and historical object from computer through internet.

Some people claim that public museums and art galleries will not be needed because people can see historical objects and works of art by using a computer. Do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

Public museums and galleries will be always exist as displaying art objects needs the real place. Looking art works such sculptures and images in an exhibition offers direct feeling because people see directly and they stand in front of art objects. For example, Portrait painting, Mona Lisa, if people visit Mona Lisa museum, they can see in real size of picture, texture and even touching it with their finger. As a result, people get detailed information about an art work that is done by an artist. Therefore, museums and galleries are the major places to display various type of collections.

However, Unlike public museums and art galleries, museums and galleries have a fixed schedule of exhibition and visiting hours. Technological advancement helps people to see an art works in a convenient way as they can look anytime and everywhere from computers through internet connection. People see virtual image on computers screen, so that they cannot catch the detail such texture and color. Also, sometimes most of picture do not have a high resolution enough, and then pictures become less clear. There is still different between looking art work on screen of computers and seeing it directly.

In conclusion, I believe that computers cannot replace public museums and art galleries.
Feb 21, 2016
Writing Feedback / Many countries invest a lot of money in art. Should they rather spend more on health and education? [2]

Many countries spend a lot of money in art. Some people think investment in art is necessary, but others say money is better spent on improving health and education. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

These days, some people believe that giving money in art is needed but some others think that money should be spent on health and education enhancement. I personally believe that both of these field should be supported simultaneously by the government.

First and foremost, health and education is basic need of people's lives. Education improvement can develop nation as young generation obtain good the process of learning and it will generate a smart generation, which is followed by advancement of the nation. To be more specific, the more people receive better education until high level, the more number of qualified people country would have. Following this, they can change nation in some aspects, such as economic condition. Subsequently, Health is also important factor in one country as it can influence national condition. To illustrate, the productivity of employee in company has a limit which is affected by their health, and then it can give an impact in economics situation too. It proves that government should spend national budget in education and health.

However, funding the art brings the nation creating creative environment because it can overcome the emergence of new ideas in art field which inspire the young generation. Art exhibition, for instance, is medium for displaying art work such painting by an artist that can contribute in creating creative generation. Therefore, spending money in art is good investment to the countries, so that government should also take a big attention to this aspect.

To sum up, the government should subsidize both of these field, either education and health areas and art field.
Feb 21, 2016
Writing Feedback / Interview test in not a proper method to apply in the process of recruiting workers. [4]

An interview has been one of favorite methods(,) chosen by many ...

... it is not the appropriate techniquemethod instead as truly skills (...) based on competence that they have.

... thought less proper to assess employer candidates.

... measure and assess the capability thatof employer candidates have (,) according to what truly ...
Feb 21, 2016
Writing Feedback / Studying in university can determine the future of individuals and change our society for better [3]

Some people believe that the aim of university education is to help graduates find better jobs while some others hold that there are wider benefits for the individual and the society. Discuss both viewpoints and give your opinion.

Studying in university can determine the future of life. Nowadays, the question whether university education is aimed helping people to devise well-paid jobs or it can give larger advantages for people itself and the community are controversies with different opinion. I firmly believe that university education brings both of these benefits either helping graduates obtain better job or giving impact in individual and social as they are interconnected.

Firstly, university education gives knowledge which is needed to find a dream job of people and they find better work after graduation. Looking for a job needs certificate from university education today. Many companies require it and some proficiency that can be obtained from education in university. There is no doubt that the purpose of university education is to help graduates obtain better work.

However, there are a bigger benefit in taking education in university, not only finding a good job but also changing personality and community. Education in university can form the character of people to better personality which can grow social spirit and gives more benefits to other people in surrounding through knowledge that is obtained from university. A young doctor, Gamal Albinsaid, he receives awards from prince Charles from the British empire due to concerning the health of poor people. Low-income people, who wants to check their health, can pay with rubbish or crop yields. As a result, poor people get a health in easy ways as they can afford the cost of health check with ease. It can be seen from the example that university education can expand benefits to individual and society.

To sum up, university education brings many benefits, but the most significant ones are to obtain a well-paid job and changing society to a better life.
Feb 23, 2016
Writing Feedback / Is the modern world very difficult for those people who wants to maintain their healthy lifestyle? [2]

Some people say that in the modern world it is very difficult for people to have a healthy lifestyle. others, however, say that it is easy for people to be healthy and fit they want to be.

Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Health is a significant aspect in people's lives. One group of people think that people in modern era tend to choose unhealthy lifestyle, but others believe that keeping healthy and fit are not difficult to be reached as long as they want it. Whilst I believe that having a healthy lifestyle is difficult, I strongly believe that it is an easy matter if people have intention.

Business in daily activity forces people to use their time properly as they must do many things a day. For instance, a woman career, she has tight schedule every day that must be accomplished by her, such as household matters, her children and family. Besides, she spends a lot of time in office which often makes her to forget keeping her health, so that she is frequently buying a fast food to save her time. Instead, it can danger her health and gives possibility to have a serious disease such heart attack. As a result, many people tend to choose unhealthy lifestyle to save their time. That is no wonder that some people have difficulties to get a healthy lifestyle.

However, there are many ways that people can do to be healthy and fit from modern way to simple way. In modern view, coming to gymnastic is a great way to do. There are many sport tools that people can utilize. In addition, trainer will guide to reach goal to be healthy, so that people's exercise is in better way. Another way to keep health is in simple way such running and jogging as they can do in many places like sidewalk, city park, and even your home. It is also an economical sport. Moreover, running and jogging are also the cheaper sport than others. Therefore, many people can do it if they want. It is evidence that a healthy lifestyle is easy to be reached.

In conclusion, it is believed that people are easy to have a healthy lifestyle in the modern world if they wish and have strong intention to get it. Also, they take a real action to have it.
Feb 23, 2016
Writing Feedback / Information about the level of education among Bulgarians who chose to live in another country [2]

Please note that the next time you provide a useless comment in other student's thread, your account will be suspended. Remember also about giving good, unique titles for your threads

The bar chart provides information about the grade of education which is elected by Bulgarian people who desire to go and stay in another country in some years, 2002, 2006, and 2008, respectively. At first glance it is evident that, most of Bulgarian people who wanted to go and lived in another country was in secondary education level which was the highest level in every year than another level of education, higher education and primary and lower education.

With regards to secondary education, the figure for people with that level stood at 65% in 2002, and it was a peak among 3 years. Afterwards, this category declined minimally at least 4%, which was followed a small fall to 59% in the next year.

Turning to other levels, the figure for people with primary and lower education rose each year. In 2002, it was stood at 18%, and then showed an upward trend in other years, 19% in 2006. Subsequently, the figure peak at 32% in 2008. Next, another category was people with higher education. The figure for people with higher education stood at 17% in 2002, and then rose minimally to 20% in 2006, which was followed a significant drop to 9% in 2008.

Feb 24, 2016
Writing Feedback / To be competitive and succesful in the long run you need take a risk - TOEFL [5]

..... Within the last few decades, there has been an unprecedented development of economy, <--without comma ) due to the great ...

..... It is convenient to getaccessing to their customers in the market ...

...which is that high-qualified technology is helpful to attract consumers and is easily copied between companies---> they are high-qualified technologies that help to attract consumers ....