Writing Feedback / IELTS TASK 2: The preferable job is better for the humans' life [4]

Some people argue that it is more important to have an enjoyable job than to earn a lot of money. Others disagree and think that a good salary leads to a better life.

When it comes to job selecting, everything becomes sensitive. I do believe that having preferable job is more essential than obtaining high salary, while others object it and consider earn much money will bring to a brighter life.

Regarding well-paid job, people believe it changes their lives become more convenient in two ways. Firstly, good payment enables them to spend a lot of money to cover all of their daily necessities. According to the latest study in India, the number of low-income families undergoes significant increase year by year. As a result, many of them experience starvation and even death. Next, high salary lets the people having high education. These days, the education requires an expensive fee that cause many poor societies cannot afford it. In South Korea, it is noted that the rich people obtained the higher percentage in master degree and doctoral as their latest education, while the poor one just reach senior high school and bachelor degree as their highest education. Therefore, it is proven that high-income jobs will lead the people to a brighter future.

However, in my opinion doing a favorable work is more pivotal than obtaining much money. Feeling enjoy in working will enable the human being have high possibility to gain the happiness, the most important thing in humans' life. Based on recent research, it was found that mostly wealthy people in East Asia, such as Japan and South Korea, committed suicide. It means that much money cannot bring happiness in humans' life. Consequently, having a job that they love is the vocal point for people in order to pursue a better life.

To sum up, despite the merits emerged by high salary jobs, I totally believe that the passion-based work is the most impressive thing that individuals should have in reaching a good life. They have to rethink in selecting their jobs and try to prioritize their happiness.

Writing Feedback / IELTS TASK 2. The scarcity issue of natural resources experience significant increasing year by year [2]

Alternative energy sources that use the natural power of the wind, waves, and sun are too expensive and complicated to replace the coal, oil and gas that we use to power our cities and transport.

To what extent do you agree or disagree whit this opinion?

In the era of global warming, the scarcity issue of natural resources experience significant increasing year by year. This encourages many sides including scientists to find a better way to overcome it. Substituting the utilizing of fossil fuels (such as coal, oil, and gas) by renewable energy sources is found requiring a lot of money and too difficult. Nevertheless, without a doubt, I truly believe that this substitution does not cost that much and not too difficult to conduct since it will benefit the humans' future life in many ways.

Firstly, it will benefit the humans' environment. As we know, mining the fossil fuel such as coal, oil, and gas are contributing of global warming. In addition, the carbon dioxide emissions from vehicles that use these kinds of fuels accelerate the climate change and deliver bad impacts to the environment. Utilizing of renewable resources will tackle this problem since it is eco-environmental. As a result, it can decrease the bad impact of global warming and climate change toward nature and environment.

Moreover, it is able to provide a huge energy for the future life. In these days, the rate of fossil fuel consuming is increasing dramatically. It causes the possibility of the lack of energy provision for the next generation. In order to overcome this problem, we can use the eco energy as the alternative. The provision of eco-energy is predicted will be long lasting since it from the natural power such as wind, wave and sun which has a huge proportion in the earth. Therefore, use of eco energy can meet the humans' high necessity in the future life.

To sum up, the alteration of energy using from fossil fuels to renewable energy will be a better solution to meet the humans' high future necessity. Measurement should be conducted to improve and develop the further research regarding this renewable energy.

Writing Feedback / In regard to negative effects emerged by obesity, individuals should take a significant action [2]

Obesity is now a major global epidemic. What can be done to tackle this increasingly common problem?
Obesity is the major universal epidemic in these days and ages. There have been a lot of talk and discussion regarding this in several countries. Concerning this issue, there are several steps that we can conduct in order to overcome it.

Obesity can be defined as the condition when the people's energy taken by eating is not balance with the energy burned. The newest study reveals that the mainly cause of the obesity is not solely on humans' genes, but it prefer to the environmental factors which are eating too much fast foods and sitting too long or less active. Having overweight, people may have other disease problems, such as coronary heart disease, high blood pressure, stroke, and so forth.

Moreover, in order to solve this issue, there are several ways that can be done by individuals. Firstly, they should try to watch and manage the diet that they consume. As we know, fast food may have contributing to obesity in human, so they have to rearrange their dietary habit by consuming the fresh and nutritious food, such as vegetable, fruit, and healthy protein. The next step that can be done by them is reducing the which is killing the time by sitting too long, for instances playing video game, watching TV, reading novels. They should try to do other activities that encourage their movement. Walking and bicycling can be good choice for this situation. In addition, the government should support this action by providing enough amount of healthy food and an adequate facility for to do regular exercise.

To sum up, thanks to negative effects emerged by obesity, individuals should take a significant action. Not only the citizen, the government also support their action by delivering good access of health diets and appropriate facilities for walking and bicycling.

Writing Feedback / The general merits and demerits of visiting Fairmont Island; expensive living cost was complained [2]

The charts reveal the general benefits and drawbacks of Fairmont Island depend on the survey of the tourists. Overall it is immediately apparent that the expensive cost living was complained by the guests at most, while the citizen is the thing that guests liked about Fairmont Island.

The first chart provides the proportions of four things that visitor considered as drawbacks of visiting Fairmont Island. It is observed that high living expense is chosen by just under a half of the visitors in total. It was followed by the entertainment and the weather which were obtained roughly a third and a fifth of claims respectively. At the last, the quality of cuisine acquired one-fourth as many claims as the weather obtained.

The second chart compares the percentage of four features pondered as the benefits. Through this chart, it can be seen that the people dominated three other features which was gained two-fifth of visitors' appreciation, and the landscape was chosen as the second. Then, good accommodation and culture shared slightly similar proportion with only 1% difference.

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Writing Feedback / IELTS TASK 1. Four places visited by three different people migrants living in Australia [2]

The bar chart illustrates four places (zoo, library, theatre and cinema) attended by three different individuals living in Australia. At first glance it can conclude that cinema was the most popular among the four, while theater is the least one.

Regarding to cinema, the most visitors were natives which the percentage was up to 70%. This was followed by new migrants from English -speaking countries' at the second place, and the other countries' new migrants at the third. In contrast, theatre absorbed the lowest number of visitors which was only about a third of cinema's visitors in total.

Turning to zoo and library, the new migrants from other countries reached the highest percentage in attending library, while they stood at last in visiting zoo. Then, the new migrants born in English-speaking countries and the natives came respectively in visiting both zoo and library. Moreover, the interesting point of this chart is the contrast trend showed by the percentage of library and cinema, while the figure in zoo and theater showed the same pattern.

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Writing Feedback / Helping the young generation be ready to face the globalization era is the task of education sector. [2]

The role of education is to prepare children for the modern world. Schools should cut art and music out of the curriculum so that children can focus on useful subjects such as information and technology. To what extent do you agree?


Helping the young generation ready to face the globalization era is the task of education sector. Although there is opinion that both art and music should be deleted from curriculum in order to help the juvenile to focus on useful subjects, for example information and technology, I strongly object this opinion.

It is important for the students to focus on studying useful subjects (information and technology) and spend much time on it. Those will familiarize them to do solving problems. According to PISA, the 21st students are required to have good skill in solving problem and have critical thinking ability. Spending longer time in learning useful subject can develop their ability in facing the future education.

However, art and music subject should not be removed out from the curriculum. By studying art and music, students obtain well-developed motor skills. For instance, Law Street found that mostly students attending art class in the US gain their visual-spatial skills improved. Furthermore, many scientists in the US assumed that music can produce the long-lasting improvement in communication and listening of the young learners because, in fact, the pupils who play music for roughly 30 minutes each day have more developed brain. This means that art and music education are important for the young learners.

In conclusion, although more focusing and much time are required in learning the useful subjects, removing art and music is not the appropriate solution because it also benefits the children. Regarding to this, government and school should keep those subjects in curriculum.

Writing Feedback / It is clear for me that the increasing percentage of overweight among children is parents' mistakes [2]

Some people think that the government is responsible for the rise in obesity in children, while others think it is the fault of the parents. Discuss both sides and give your opinion!


In these days, the rate of overweight in children shows the increasing trend. This convinces some people to consider the government as the one that should take responsibility, while I prefer to blame the parents.

Those accusing government believe that it causes the overweight in juvenile. Firstly, they assume that it has a big role in deciding the existence and advancement of unhealthy diet shops, such as Mc Donald, KFC, CFC, and so forth. In which, those shops will be built in certain area only if they receive such a construction permit released by government. In addition, the existence of those will be spread through several advertisements which are also requiring ratification from government. It means that the government encourages the development of unhealthy diet shops and ultimately creates an easy access for the children to consume junk food. Therefore, it is possible that government cause the high rate of overweight in juvenile.

However, it is clear for me that the increasing percentage of overweight in children is parents' mistakes. Actually, they have main role in taking care of their children's needs and conditions, but they failed to cover these. These are proven by the parents in my local city tending to bring their children to KFC or CFC for having lunch, and serve them a plenty instant food, such as instant noodle, croquette, nugget, for dinner in home. This renders the children to consume unhealthy diets more frequently, in junk food stall and in their homes.

In conclusion, despite those arguing that government is responsible to the rising rate in overweight in children, the parent's mistakes are more serious. The parents should watch more nutrition needs of the children.

Writing Feedback / Human eagerness to purchasing unnecessary items; IELTS TASK 2. [2]

Many people buy products that they do not really need and replace old products with new ones unnecessarily. Why do people buy things they do not really need? Do you think this is a good thing?

A huge number of human being tends to spend their money for disbursing the de trop items replacing the previous ones. This occurred due to several reasons, and despite its positive side, I cannot say that it is good for the people to do it.

To begin with the causes of human eagerness to buy unnecessary items, these are the power of marketing and human's imitating personality. Mostly consumers' behavior is determined by marketing. The effective advertising will change the human's perception toward the products. It encourages them to remember several brands of the products and successfully reaches their emotion to buy those. Furthermore, the good designed marketing lures the consumers to be more appeal through the discount offered. For instance, a housewife disposed to buy a 50% discount vacuum cleaner although she already has it. In addition, personality trait, such as copying others, is also contributing to people's unnecessary purchasing. Copying others purchasing is considered as the way of people to fit in their society. Take iPhone as an example, some people in these days are likely purchasing iPhone because mostly of their friends have it. Therefore, marketing and copying others will enable the rising percentage of purchasing against unnecessary products.

Turning to the positive side, the non-essential disbursing will benefit the companies. It can improve and increase the number of companies' trading. However, I do believe that this is not good for people. It can deliver several drawbacks to humans' life, such as wasting money and increasing the humans' anxiety.

In conclusion, although the non-essential purchasing, caused by marketing and humans' imitating personality, benefits companies' sales, I can say it has more negative impacts on humans' life. The individuals should create the certain list for ranking their needs.

Writing Feedback / A fixed punishment delivers some benefits for human being - IELTS TASK 2. [3]

Many people believe that having a fixed punishment for all crimes is more efficient. What are the advantages and disadvantages of having a fixed punishment?

Relating to the efficiency, most of human being consider a fixed penalty as the best way to apply. There are some benefits and a drawback of having a fixed penalty.

Firstly, a fixed penalty has a negative side. It is difficult to create and arrange the proper penalty for a certain criminal case. One of the examples is that this is quite hard for the authorities to design and determine the appropriate penalty for drugs dealer. Several years arresting seems cannot pay what they have done since the enormous negative impact that it has caused.

However, I strongly believe that a fixed penalty delivers several benefits to human being. Nowadays, many people are suffering for the injustice. It becomes worst by the fraud among law enforcer. This problem will be reduced by adopting a fixed penalty into law system. Since the law enforcers will obtain a certain penalty if they do not decide a proper punishment to the criminals. Furthermore, the victims' family will feel more equitable because the fixed penalty will make impossible for a criminal to skew in order to receive less punishment.

To sum up, a fixed penalty delivers both of positive and negative effects for human being. Governments of the countries in around the world should do a good planning in order to create the proper fixed penalty and consider its realization as soon as possible.

Writing Feedback / IELTS TASK 2. Free tuition fee and healthcare fee for everyone [2]

All education and healthcare should be funded by the government and free for everyone.
To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

I extremely agree that government should finance whole education fee and healthcare fee for everyone. Despite all of the possible negative impact, this will benefits humans being in several ways.

Spending amount of money in terms of education and healthcare for everybody may has a negative side on people, such as the increasing of the laziness of the individuals. Due to the free tuition fee and healthcare fee, students tend to not work harder in doing their study. Also, it causes the society have no any responsible toward their future. They feel safe already, so they tend to have no future plan and even do not manage their future fund.

However, this policy will benefit humans' life in many ways. Firstly, it increases the quality of human resources. Providing free education and healthcare enables the people to gain higher education and well treatment. As we know, the more well-educated and healthier someone, the higher his or her quality will be. The next advantage is the rising of social welfare. High-quality human resources are considered have ability to obtain the better job and even provide job opportunity for others. As a result, the family income and the level of humans' life will increase, and it end up to bringing the prosperity to people's life. Moreover, this encourages the decreasing number of crime.

To conclude, although it may deliver a drawback, it is evident that it has more positive sides which are very beneficial for human's life. The government should conduct this rule in order to obtain the bright future for the country.

Writing Feedback / IELTS TASK 2. The people's low interest of walking [2]

Walking is known to be beneficial for health and yet fewer and fewer people are walking these days. What are the reasons for this? What can be done to tackle this problem?

Although it is already proven that walking is good for their healthy, but in this era only a few do people realize this. There are several causes of this problem, and some actions should be taken to diminish it.

There are several predominant factors of low number of people doing walking. These are the busy lifestyle and low security. Busy lifestyle requires the individuals to spend mostly their time to work. According to Bureau of Labor Statistics, American working hours showed gradually rising trend through the 1990s, recently it reached roughly 40 hours each week. As a result, they have no enough time for walking whether it for going to their office or in term of doing exercise.

Moreover, walking is unsafe because of the high percentage of crime regarding to pedestrians. In America, there were roughly 288 pedestrians killed in 2013 due to crime.

Nevertheless, there are several potential ways to solve those problems. Firstly, the company can create the rules concerning to the limitation of elevator utilizing by the workers. Otherwise, the workers can go up and down through the stairs, so it will improve their walking intensity. Furthermore, government needs to conduct several interesting walking events in the weekend, such as walking festival. This can encourage people to spend their weekend by walking. Ultimately, setting some CCTV up and building security post in certain area along the pavement can be the next measures.

To sum up, it is possible for the government and people to increase the number of people doing walking by releasing several steps. It would be better for both government and people to work cooperatively in realizing those ways.

Writing Feedback / The alteration of America's Appearance in 1948 and 2010 [6]

The appearances alteration of America in 1948 and 2010 are illustrated by (in) the diagram. Overall, it can be seen that the main fact that stands out is that an infrastructure development established in 2010 replaced the previous buildings.

To begin with, there were several changes happened in both business sector and transportation sector in whole parts of the city, excluding in the southeast. First, the changes in business areas were showed by a huge number of commercial buildings extended in the north of canal, whereas six houses and a park belonged to in past 62 years. At the west part of this construction caused the demolition of local supermarket. However, it was transformed to a super market in the hub of the city, near the petrol station. In addition to this, the sports stadium was built in the southern most of the city substituting an old church.

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Writing Feedback / The figure of four different features were mostly interested in 2003 and 2013 [4]

The figure of four different features which were mostly interested in 2003 and 2013 are compared by those two pie charts. At first glance it is evident that film/ music gaining the enormous alteration of the proportion.

The mostly chosen feature in 2003 was presented by travel; however, in ten years later, it decreased to 8% lower than previous proportion. Reaching almost a quarter at total features in 2003, clothes followed the travel in the second level. Then, it fell dramatically to 16% which caused it obtained the lowest percentage. In addition, film/music acquired the highest change in percentage for a 10-year period.

Unlike three other features, book did not achieve that much alteration. Initially, the book provided 19% and then it increased slightly in ten remain years. Although the proportion experienced the improvement during the period as a whole, book admitted the last place in 2013.

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Writing Feedback / 'three kinds of treatments applied' - The process of recycling the rain water. [2]

The process of recycling the rain water is illustrated by this diagram. There are three kinds of treatments applied in this recycling which two of them leads the process. These two treatments are water treatment plant and stormwater treatment. Overall, some stages are the same, but it is slightly different at the several first steps in those two treatments.

Once, the rain water falling down to dam is distributed to cube container. In this container does the water experience first kind of treatment, water treatment plant. Being treated in certain time, the rain water is ready to use as drinking water in household. Then, the household waste water is placed to the second cube container. It undergoes the next treatment, wastewater treatment plant. Through this stage, the rain water will be split into two ways. First, it can be directly distributed in to a tank. In this tank, the water passes recycling process that eventually changing into recycling water which is piped and used in household. Second, the overwhelming water in second cube container will be piped out to river flowing to the sea. This is where the process converges, whereas the puddle of rain water in house yard can be directly stream down into the river and the sea.

The water mixed in both river and sea will encounter the rain making process which turns it become rain water again. This rain water is accommodated in a tank whenever the rain is coming. Finally, the rain water will be piped out and reutilized in household.

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Writing Feedback / The percentage of the movies played and the theater visitors in both UK and Australia [2]

The percentage of the movies played in both UK and Australia is provided by the bar chart, while the number of cinema visitors, from 1976 to 2006, in these countries was illustrated by line chart. It is noticeable that the movies mainly presented in both UK and Australia are the US movies. Then, the admission of Movie Theater both in UK and Australia shows significant improvement, but in Australia is it slightly lower than in UK.

The US movies got the biggest appreciation in UK. It also happened in Australia. Roughly 68% of movies played in Australia were the US movies. Otherwise, the Australian movies did not get much attention. Indeed, it had the lowest rate in Australia itself. In addition, the percentage of UK films was able to reach the second level in the UK. Meanwhile, the other kind movies did not experience the high figure in UK and was on the lowest stage.

According to the line chart, theater visitors in UK showed the greatest number, while Australian citizens presented oppositely. In one hand, UK reached high number of theater visitors around 1978 and had plunged to 60% ended in the middle of 1980 and 1985. It experienced the fluctuating increasing for more than twenty years later with the enormous number of visitors, about 180 million. On the other hand, the citizen in Australia did not show the enthusiasm of visiting the cinema as the people in UK did. Although the number of the theater visitors in Australia got increasing, it never reached the same number as UK did, even the lowest one.

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Writing Feedback / IELTS TASK 1 The data of consumer disbursing on several different items in European Countries [3]

The table provides the data of consumer disbursing on several different items in five different European countries in 2002. Briefly, there are two bold data. First, Turkey had the highest number of consumer spending on both food and education, while it was on the second for clothing. Second, the consumers in Italy mainly spent for clothing, but it has slightly lower spending for both food and education.

In Turkey, 32.4% of consumers pay out for food in which it was the highest percentage out of five countries. For education sector, Turkey was also on the top level of percentage, reaching 4.35%, compared to the others country. Otherwise, it had slightly lower disbursing for clothing where it was 6.63%, the second level after Italy.

In contrast, the consumers in Italy tended to spend their money for clothing than two other items. It showed 9.00%, while other countries just got lower than 7.00%. Then, Italy had about a half of the Turkey's percentage for food and followed the Sweden on 3.20%.

Finally, other three countries, Sweden, Spain, and Ireland, are in the middle. Those are under 20% for food except Ireland which got 28.91%. In addition, Sweden had the highest percentage among these countries for education with 3.22% followed by Ireland and Spain at 2.21% and 1.98%.

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