Writing Feedback / The air is leaking from every ventilation and going out in the first floor, in the roof. [2]

IELTS WRITING TASK 1 : CAMBRIDGE WORKBOOK 5.5 - 6.5 | UNIT 3 PAGE 35

The figure illustrates the process of heat lost and energy wasted that caused by air circulation of the house. Overall, while air that leaking is coming from every ventilation both in the underground and in the upper floor, air that is going out only occurs in the first floor, exactly in the roof.

The process is started when fresh air come from the outside through some holes. There are crawl space, kitchen fan vent, windows and door in the center room, vent in the drying room, and electrical outlet in the toilet. Since the rooms contains holes that connected to the outer of the home, it makes air enters to the house both in the underground floor and in the up floor.

Next, when the fresh air is already situated inside the home for replacing the heat air, so the warm air leaking out through recessed lights, attic hatch, bathroom fan vent plumbing stack vent, and chase. As a result, it makes the rooms temperature in the house become stable.

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Writing Feedback / It is said, that the main goal of entrepreneurship is to collect money without looking on others [3]

The purpose of business is to make money and they should concentrate only on this. Do you agree of disagree?

Some opinions mention that the main goal of entrepreneurship is to produce money without looking others and keeping focus to this. In my view, I totally disagree because business is not just talking about the money.

To start with, in order to make business more useful, it must look at social impact. It can be seen that when someone starting his own business, he also creates job opportunities for other people. In addition, there are many companies that built near the resident area. Furthermore, they can recruit people that previously unemployment around the industries. So, the aim of the business not just to make profit, but even they can increase the society welfare of inhabitants that stay around the company.

Moreover, enterprises should spend some of their profits to collaborate with government for national building purpose. Taken example of that, in my countries, many industries create programs that related to some aspects. First, educational aspect. They give a lot of scholarships usually for students in the university. Even they give chance for their awardee to do internship program and they also provide monthly salary. Second, social aspect. It is proven by some corporate social responsibility (CSR) programs that has already launched to help society. For instance, green environment programs that have aim to reduce global warming, entrepreneur training that usually teach social society to become entrepreneur, and others.

In conclusion, it is totally wrong if businesses only for money purposes, because there are many kinds of impactful activities that can be held by industries such as for education, social welfare, and others.

Writing Feedback / There are some arguments that a dress style indicates the characteristics of someone. [2]

Some people say that the clothes people wear are the most important indication of what they are like. Others, however, say that people should not be judged by the clothes they wear. Discuss both of these views by the clothes they wear.

There are some arguments that say people dress style is indicate the characteristics of someone. In contrast, there also some opinions mention that we cannot judge the book from its cover. Based on my experience, it is ultimately true that fabric cannot become the indicators of what people are like, because it just physical appearance.

The main reason of my opinion, is because inner beauty more important than outer beauty, means that we can see the real personality of people from their heart. It is true that sometimes clothes show the people look like. Some girls Moslem show their faith to the god with their hair cover. But actually, is not true. It is proven by this kind of example, that nowadays hijab become one of fashion trends in Indonesia, and it makes many women that previously do not wear it. They compete each other for showing their beauty. Unfortunately, although they cover all of the body with hijab, their attitude still same with the previously like hedonism lifestyle, missing pray time, and others. In contrast, some men that have street performer appearance showed by their lot of tattoos, punk hairstyles, sometimes doing performance for charity purposes. They donate all of the money that they earned to many non-governmental organizations. These two examples prove that clothes are inappropriate indicators for showing the real people characteristics.

Besides that, clothes are just symbol and sometimes people lie with things that they wear. Taken example of that, in many retailers that owned by Chinese people, usually they have poor fashion style. Every day we often see that they like to wear only short and T-shirt, and look like it is already old. However, actually they are wealthy people. Otherwise, in many supermarkets that have many sales promotion girl, they use luxury clothes, high heels, and even "celebrity" hairstyle, but they actually get smaller salaries than the entrepreneur.

To sum up, it is totally wrong if person's fashion style placed as one of indication of what people like. This is because outer appearance is not as important as inner heart that show who the real men and women are.

Writing Feedback / Those four pie charts display information on worker's relationship with their boss and peers [2]

IELTS WRITING TASK 1 : CAMBRIDGE BOOK 5.5 - 6.5 | UNIT 7 PAGE 46

There are 4 pie charts display about worker's relationship with their boss and peers that gained from surveys in 2005 and 2009. Overall, they had very good relationship in all years and each year tend to have similar order.

It can be seen that there were two differences of relationship with supervisor in 205 and 2009. First, was the percentage. It only had less than 5 percent difference each of indicators. The highest were very good that increase from 61 percent to 65 percent in 2009, Good that decrease slightly by 4% into 22 percent, and do not have supervisor that rise from 1 percent to 5 percent. Second was the indicators. While some people were not give any answer in 2005 (2%), it did not appear in 2009.

In the next group that showed relationship with pair-work, most of the people had very good relationship both in 2005 and 2009, 63 percent and 70 percent respectively. That indicator also became the highest rise among the others with 7% upward. The charts also had a diverse indicators while in 2005 there was a poor indicator, it disappeared in 2009.

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Writing Feedback / Flying in the United States. How content were customers from the aircraft service there? [4]

WRITING SCORING #4 CAMBRIDGE BOOK 5.5 - 6.5 TASK 1

These two figures provide information about how much customer was satisfied with aircraft service in United States in 1999, 2000, and 2007. While the bar chart gives in general, the table displays more specific using some indicators. Overall, during the eight years period, customers felt more convenient with the plane service. In contrast, their disappointment level decrease slightly each year. Besides that, flight attendants' aspects became the highest percentage among the others.

It can be seen that the percentage of satisfaction in 1999 was already doubled of the dissatisfied, 65 percent and 32 percent respectively. Then, satisfied percentage increased into 72 percent in 2007, made it tripled because of the fall of dissatisfied at 24 percent in the same year.

The result of the bar chart was similar with the table that almost all of indicators rose gradually each year. The biggest point was shown by flight attendants courtesy at 92 percent, while the lowest is seat's comfortable at 47 percent. The other aspects such as courtesy of check in / gate agents, price of tickets, and scheduled, placed second, third, and fourth position respectively.

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Writing Feedback / There are many kinds of foods that attract attention people especially children to buy it. [5]

WRITING SCORING #4 CAMBRIDGE BOOK 5.5 - 6.5 TASK 2

Nowadays, there are many kinds of foods that attract attention people especially children to buy it. It was proven in my previous school, in the canteen, this day sells meals that have more types than in the past. Unfortunately, some of the food stalls contain unhealthy meals that often disturb their study process. So, I think it is important for students to consume good food, even school must be selective to the quality of snacks especially that sold inside the school.

To start with, children must have self-awareness for keeping their own health. I am sure that students already know that consuming hygiene meals is more important than just a tasteful one. That is because they need a lot of nutritions that will help them to be more concentrate in the classrooms, being strong when sleep overnight for assignment purposes, also stay focus when they obey the cleanness, substance, even the ingredients of their daily consumption, it will causes many diseases like cough, stomachache, diarrhea, and others. Furthermore, they will absent from class in a few days, make them lost of topic that given by teachers that day.

So, to reduce that problem, school must have responsibility to investigate all kind of meals that usually sold in the canteen. For instance, they can create some rules maybe all sellers must have certificate from Ministry of Health, or all food must not contain any dangerous substance, even sometimes investigation can be done without any information before, and if school see any harmful ingredients, the shops will get punishment. However, if the seller still obey the rules, school can break their permission for selling the food again in the canteen.

To conclude that, one of the most important thing for creating effective learning process in the school is the students should be healthy that resulted from their food that they eat. Moreover, school also become the main supporting system for providing hygiene, clean, also healthy food for the children.

Writing Feedback / There are three pie charts which illustrate the changes in yearly cost of a certain UK's school [2]

There are three pie charts illustrate the changes in yearly cost of a certain UK's school in 1981, 1991, and 2001. Overall, it can clearly be seen that teacher's remuneration became the highest aspects while assurance had the lowest percentage over 20 years.

In general view, most of features have fluctuation trend because they did not stable. Schoolmasters and Schoolmistress' salaries, which became the highest spending rise from 40 percent in 1981 to 50 percent in 1991 but fell by 5 percent in 2001. It had the same pattern with resources, for example books, that started from 15 percent in the first year, then moved upwards into 20 percent and finally deteriorated sufficiently into 9 percent. Another unstable trend was displayed by furniture and equipment, but the difference was it increased in the second year.

Furthermore, there are some data that increase slightly in the two decades. It was an insurance cost that had very little change from 2 percent in the beginning, change slightly into 3% in the middle, and in the last grew to 8%. In contrast, other worker salaries were felt moderately from 28 percent in the first decade to 15 percent in the last.

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Writing Feedback / Too many people have their own vehicle - a lot of cars means problem with traffic and pollution [3]

Increasing the price of petrol is the best way to solve growing traffic and pollution problems. To what extent do you agree or disagree? What other measures do you think might be effective?

Nowadays, there are many people that are already have vehicles because of its low prices and credit payment method that often offered. As a result of that, many traffic congestions occur almost every day especially in some metropolitan city. Moreover, cars and motorcycles also produce harmful smoke that create greenhouse gases effect even human respiration system disease. To solve that, some people say that the best way is by boosting the fare. However, in my opinion I totally disagree about that, because there are others indicators that more influenced.

In the recent years, fossil fuel had already become one of human primary need. It is proven by data from Statistical Center Department, Indonesia shows that almost 75 percent of Indonesia's inhabitants have their own both four-wheel and two-wheel drive. So, we can conclude that the role of public and private transportation today is extremely important for doing many daily activities. In the past, Indonesia had an experience when the officials decided to raise the oil price, and it made many resident protest, demonstrated, and finally government reduced it until back to the normal price. With that kind of the accident in the past, it can be seen that increasing petrol price will bring many drawbacks and it does not have any effect for reducing traffic crowded and pollution problem.

So, I think there are two solutions that will be fix that difficulties. First, to solve street crowd, administration should provide and upgrade the public transportation to be more convenient. For instance, in many developed countries, they usually have comfortable transportation system that can effectively decrease the traffic problems. Second, to conquer pollution, government must be doing conversion energy project seriously. For example, in my country, it already invented many kind of electricity motor and cars, but it unsupported by facilities such as electric station, massive production, even the project finally ended up with unknown reason. Society also can convert their fuel from solar and premium into pertamax, even though more expensive but has smaller number of octant that produce less-pollutant gas.

To sum up, the rising price of fossil fuels will not bring any effect to traffic congestion and global warming, because that oil already become people's daily needs. So, public transport and energy conversion are more reasonable compared with the previous solution.

Writing Feedback / Figures that illustrate step by step process and equipment used for creating cement and concrete [2]

There are two figures that illustrate step by step and equipment that used for creating cement and concrete for building purpose. It can be seen that cement is produced from two raw materials: limestone and clay. The other tools that used for it, are crusher, mixer, rotating heater, grinder, and bags. Then, to produce concrete, there are some materials such as gravel, sand, cement, and water and one machine that called concrete mixer.

It can be seen that there are several steps to make cement. First, the rocks and soil are crushed by using crusher for producing powder. Then, the two powders are combined by using mixer. After that, it is heated inside the Rotating Heater using fire. Next, it is grinded on the grinder. As a result, cement is already packed into the bags.

After finished to produce, cement is used for generating concrete. The process is more simple than creating cement. Concrete is produced by mixing four kinds of matters. It must contain cement (15%), water (10%), sand (25%), and gravel (50%). All of the materials is mixed inside concrete mixer. Finally, it become the finished good that using for building purpose.

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Writing Feedback / Fixed punishments for each type of crime? The rules must be flexible with the real condition [2]

Some people believe that there should be fixed punishments for each type of crime. Others, however, argue that the circumstances of an individual crime, and the motivation for committing it, should be always taken into account when deciding on the punishment.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Nowadays, many criminal accidents occur almost every day. Some people argue that every kind of crime must have fixed penalty. However, others said that police should look at the situation, condition and also motivation of the arrested people for deciding the punishment. In order to make the justice become greater, I totally agree the second views that individual's motive must be included.

In my opinion, I am sure that every nation already had their own fixed regulation since the past time. However, the rules must be flexible with the real condition. When people is arrested by law department, they have rights to defend themselves and talk about why and how they do the delinquency that cause harmful in their environment. So, constitution just become the guidance to make the best verdict for them.

Taken example in my country, in the past time, media showed that a poor older grandma was arrested because they stole wood in the forest. The companies sued her to be imprisoned that was corresponded with civil law, but the lawyer refuse that. The grandmother said that actually she really didn't know about the tree-wood belongs to. She said that she found it in the central forest that near with their home, and bring just small and very few logs to made it became firewood that she sold in the market. Finally, people from industries forgave her, and she was freed from that case.

All in all, in the democratic era, we cannot see only one aspect to uphold fairness. Some reasons like the people's background, why they commit it, and how the effects of incident should be considered by the judgement. So, I hope it will be increase our peaceful and happiness in the future.

Writing Feedback / The number of commodities transported in United Kingdom 1984-2002 using various transportation [3]

The line chart displays the number of commodities transported in United Kingdom from 1984 to 2002 using various kinds of transportation method in million tones. Overall, over 28 years, the trend of each kind was tended to be stable and increased slightly and also most of people like to use Road, otherwise look like they used pipeline in a few times.

It can be seen that Road placed as the highest among all almost 30 years. Started at about 70% in 1974, then grew moderately until reached a little below 100. In contrast, pipeline lied in the lowest position that set about 5 in 1974 then went upward marginally to above 20.

Besides that, in the first year, between rail and water have very small difference, 40 and a slight below 40. However, in 1978, both of them have the similar amount at 40, and after that water become higher than Rail until 2002, 65 and 42 respectively.

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Writing Feedback / In some states, after teenagers finish their high school, they are suggested to find jobs [2]

In some countries, young people are encouraged to work or travel for a year between finishing high school and starting university studies. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages for young people who decide to do this.

In some states, after the teenagers finished their high school, they are suggested to find jobs or make their own journey about one year before entering college. It will bring some pros and cons based on their needs. However, I argue that both advantages and disadvantages are equal related to their needs and conditions.

Every people should have their own life plan, and it will decide our step after passed high school. When young people have plan to work in the field activity such as mechanics, machine expertise, entrepreneur, it is recommended to them for working before they study in university. It will bring some advantages like experienced, knowledgeable to the real condition, even they can know what things that must be learn in the University that will be support in their work. However, a drawback that usually occur is they maybe feel lazy to study because they already get money. This phenomenon frequently happens to some of the young that already get money and finally they refuse to continue their education.

Otherwise, if the juvenile has intention to become someone who work in the laboratory, medicine, politics, education organization that need more literacy than practical, they must directly starting their studies in university after they pass national examination in Higher School, because faster is better. I think it will bring many benefit for supporting their future career, such as they can get bachelor degree in the early age, even continue their study to master until doctoral program. For this decision, in my opinion there is no negative effect.

To sum up, every decision has their own consequence. Both work or travel and directly study in university are good choice for young people since it related to their life plan and real needs.

Writing Feedback / The facts about expenditure of European People in five countries in 2002 revealed in the table. [2]

There is some information about expenditure of European People in five countries in 2002 revealed by table. It divided into three kinds of necessities and measured with percentage. In general, compared with others, Food/drink/tobacco were the largest quantities in all nations. In addition, the highest value is Turkey in consuming Meal/Beverage/Smoke, while the lowest is Spain that spending very few of their money in Pastime/Education.

In the top of all, Turkey had 32.14 that two times larger than Sweden in spent their salary for Food/Drink/Cigarette. Turkey has the a slight different with Ireland in second position at 28.91. The third, fourth, and five also have small difference, 18.80, 16.36, 15.77 respectively.

Move to the other needs, Clothing/Footwear placed the second position in all countries. Italy became the biggest percentage at 9%, while the other only had very little dissimilar, each of them no more than two percent. Sweden placed the smallest consumption in this field.

The last is Fun Activity/School which were all of them no more than 5 percent. While turkey set again in the first position at 4.35 percent Spain, was the lowest at 1.98 percent.

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Writing Feedback / The happiness is hard to characterize - there are different answers and conclusions about this. [2]

Happiness is considered very important in life. Why is it difficult to define? What factors are important in achieving happiness?

From the past time until now and maybe in the future, joyfulness is the key to make our life become meaningful. Some argue that lot of money, luxurious clothes, jewelry will be useless if the people cannot live happily. Meanwhile, although people live in poor and hunger condition, but usually they can enjoy their live because they already know what the way of their life.

I personally agree if happiness is hard to define. Taken example of that, if some psychologist asked about the way to become happy, they have different answers and it can be concluded that every person has no similarity in their pattern to become happy. Wealthy people has their own way to get comfortable feeling. They usually share their worth and make donation for orphanage, street children, and some social organization. Sometimes they also invite the children to their home, make an event that they can laugh together, and give souvenirs when they back to the home. In contrast, poor people cannot do this. They help other people with their energy and skills. For instance, they can help to build their neighbor home, sometimes give snack even meals to the children around their home, also teach some knowledge to other without any fee.

Based on the previous paragraph that already explained, we can sum it into one key-factor. Happiness can be achieved if the people helpful or give many benefit with their surroundings. Although if they only can give a little piece of smile but it will give positive energy to other. Furthermore, one thing that become the ultimately important is feeling sincere without hope any response to the people that helped.

All in all, life is become convenient if we feel happy every day. It will bring positive energy to be more productive in the work, and to be more relaxed when we take a rest.