/ Animals should not be exploited by people and that they should have the same rights as humans
After a meeting with the forum administrators and careful consideration of your explanation, they decided to exempt this post from the single response allowance from the Educational Consultant. I was instructed to review your paper and give you advice as it may not prove to be too problematic for you to receive advice from me. This is a one time deal. The final decision, as to whether I will continue to guide your learning or not really depends upon you.
The main reason why I advise my students to either present a personal opinion for each public opinion or create a separate paragraph for their personal opinion is simple. You are scored on the clarity of your opinion as a part of the TA score. Therefore, you need to clearly explain how you came to decide on your opinion based on factors, considerations, examples, and your understanding of the public opinion. If you choose to give a personal opinion for each public opinion, you deliver a comparative personal opinion to the examiner based on each of the public opinion. Clearly showing how and why you came to your opinion for each presentation and meeting the "discuss both views and give your opinion" in a short but efficient form.
If you opt to use the single opinion presentation, then you show a clear support for one public opinion based on additional information coming from your personal knowledge or experience, which will help further show your increased understanding of the topic and, your ability to explain your opinion in English. It also shows that you analyzed both discussion points and weighed the validity of each argument, thus leading you to decide on a specific public opinion to support.
Either discussion presentation is acceptable in the Task 2 essay.
For me, it is important that my students increase their TA score because that section alone can help you get a passing score if written correctly. I know other tutors believe otherwise but my students have regularly gotten above the 7 mark, with some of them achieving the 9 score depending upon their English fluency and, because of our focus on what I believe to be the most crucial scoring factors in the IELTS test.
I am not saying the person whose opinions you read is wrong, I am just saying that what I teach is different and works for the students whom I teach. As for who you should listen to, that is a personal opinion that I cannot help you with.
In my opinion, you totally skipped a reasoning paragraph in this presentation. You spoke of animals should not be exploited, based on the public opinion. So that is reasoning paragraph 1. Where is reasoning paragraph 2 that explains why others believe that it is necessary to use animals for specific means? You cannot discuss that as a personal opinion immediately because of the prompt requirement that indicates a separate discussion point for that reason:...others argue that humans must employ animals to satisfy their various needs, including uses for food and research.
You will indeed receive a lower TA score because your response is incomplete. Not only because you failed to explain, as a part of your personal opinion, why animals should have rights similar to humans, but because you failed to address the other public point of view explanation in your body of paragraphs. My point of view is that this should have been a 3 reasoning paragraph essay, totaling 5 paragraphs. If you look at the instructions, the number of reasoning paragraphs was clearly indicated:Discuss both views and give your opinion.
If you analyze the instruction, the reasoning paragraphs are:
Par. 1: First public POV
Par. 2: Second public POV
Par. 3: Personal opinion that considers the 2 public discussion reasons in its statement.
The clarity of the discussion paragraphs becomes clearer to the examiner, your TA approach is properly formatted, and your C&C presentation will show a direct connection between the 3 paragraphs once you use proper transition sentences at the end of each topic discussion.
Again, this is based on the way I teach and not any one else's teaching method. If this is not the method that you learned from the other person and you feel that my approach is not the right approach, then please, do follow the other approach. I am not forcing you learn my method as you might continue to get confused by trying to listen to and follow opposing instructions. Use whichever writing method you believe will help you score better and will be more prompt responsive in the end.