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"Judge people by their character" - FSU Essay Rough Draft - Mores

4 - "Judge people by their character, not by how they look,their looks. " "I succeeded in making it and...

Undergraduatethndthighs - Nov 14, 2009glorfs - Nov 15, 2009
IWU-one paragraph why essay

3 - Wow, Kelsey did such a great job, I don't know what to say! ...I had lived in Chicago...

Undergraduatejindu85 - Nov 14, 2009EF_Kevin - Nov 16, 2009
"As a child, I was basically perfect." - Describe the world you come from

8 - I absolutely love love the way you write. I never skipped a word or a sentence and my eyes...

Undergraduatepinkxp92 - Nov 14, 2009laughatmyname - Nov 20, 2009
"passionate abut studying" - University of Rochester Supplement (common app)

9 - Okay Dokes. I'll try that P.S. thanks (for the saying i was funny part).. oh (and for the...

UndergraduateJd87rh - Nov 14, 2009Jd87rh - Nov 23, 2009
Smoking ban - essay argumentative

5 - thanks...

Writing FeedbackAbutaleb2009 - Nov 14, 2009Abutaleb2009 - Nov 20, 2009
Game Freak- Common App Essay

10 - I think your essay was really good, but I at first I thought you were going to write about...

Undergraduatejindu85 - Nov 14, 2009karyenu - Nov 17, 2009
a diverse individual with my own "vibrant" background - Rutgers Admissions Essay

4 - Hmm, I think you should describe what your "coat of many colors" consists of, just so you don't sound...

UndergraduateJS2010 - Nov 14, 2009robyag6 - Dec 25, 2009
MIT "Something for fun" and "Department" Essays critique?

6 - Thanks EF_Kevin! I'm not really sure if for the second one, MIT wants a specific course or just a...

Undergraduatesozin817 - Nov 14, 2009sozin817 - Nov 16, 2009
How does my reflective essay sound?

3 - Has there ever been a time where your parents told you not to play in the house? Well it...

Undergraduatetiger13twin - Nov 14, 2009EF_Kevin - Nov 16, 2009
Go-go the suprising culture- UVA supplement essay

6 - it's great, i just see one tiny thing. I'd add you there b/w the music and never...

Undergraduatest21 - Nov 14, 2009Jd87rh - Nov 20, 2009
UC Prompt 2 - Music Molds My Mission

6 - I developed a strong personal attachment to music ever since the very first time I moved my hand over...

UndergraduateRypto - Nov 14, 2009Jd87rh - Nov 17, 2009
Bucknell Essay 2/3 About Me's

4 - Even as a child, I have always loved music. ---> You don't need to include "have," so leave it...

UndergraduateLorxX099 - Nov 14, 2009EF_Kevin - Nov 19, 2009
The world I come from is not out of the ordinary. I haven't chance to be a wonder woman yet

3 - Unfortunately, I haven't yet had that chance to travel all the way across the world or be a Wonder...

Undergraduatebreefinazzo - Nov 14, 2009EF_Kevin - Nov 16, 2009
UC Prompt #2: "Duality" (let me know if it is adequate enough)

3 - I decided that I would learn to live respecting and remembering both of my cultural heritages and keeping a...

Undergraduateguffaa88 - Nov 14, 2009EF_Kevin - Nov 16, 2009
UC Prompt#2 Personal Quality - Marching Band

5 - I felt as if all hope had flown been lost, but I could not give up. You have...

Undergraduateoek0127 - Nov 14, 2009EF_Kevin - Nov 16, 2009
UT Admissions essay: influential person

9 - OH WOW. I posted the wrong essay prompt. Yeah, my essay is actually supposed to be on the "write...

Undergraduatesatang00 - Nov 14, 2009satang00 - Nov 21, 2009
"proper education" - A&M Essay: Topic B

3 - Thanks for your help!! Its so nice to have a fresh set of eyes to look at a paper!!...

UndergraduateBrandon_Tuba - Nov 14, 2009Brandon_Tuba - Nov 15, 2009
Rutgers Essay Topic: First two paragraphs

4 - Here's how i'd change it up. It's only small changes. over all i think your short essay is very...

Undergraduateipwnu4free - Nov 14, 2009Jd87rh - Nov 14, 2009
"I already had many stereotypes" - U of M: Diversity essay

4 - Ha ha, I understand what Susan means. I think this part should be removed, because it may have...

Undergraduatebatmankiller - Nov 14, 2009EF_Kevin - Nov 16, 2009
My english teacher as an influential person - Common App Prompt

4 - Yes, I think you should get right to the point: My eleventh grade English teacher, Mrs. Ostrenko, is...

Undergraduatedavidson10 - Nov 14, 2009EF_Kevin - Nov 15, 2009
"I have always contributed something" - Rutgers admission essay

9 - Ha ha, yes it is awe striking! Well, I am glad the experience is a positive one...

UndergraduateTheseGuns - Nov 14, 2009EF_Kevin - Dec 16, 2010
Personal statement for University of Wisconsin Madison. prompt #1

4 - thanks for the advices. I tried doing it again and it did not turn out so well. It...

Undergraduatehelpme143 - Nov 14, 2009helpme143 - Nov 18, 2009
"I caught my target unaware of my presence"; USC -Visions and Voices

10 - Thanks to everyone who read and reviewed this! I have made the necessary grammatical changes. :D I was also...

Undergraduateaquamarine - Nov 14, 2009aquamarine - Nov 22, 2009
What name would you suggest for Grinnell?

13 - I named Grinnell as THE PHOENIXES as they recovered after the severe storm in the past. :D...

Undergraduatehera246 - Nov 14, 2009Robertlatt - Dec 23, 2009
Supplement DEAR ROOMMATE

4 - I look forward to meeting you and sharing with you my enthusiasm about (all kinds of things at this...

Undergraduatemia01 - Nov 14, 2009EF_Kevin - Nov 15, 2009
husband of my mother's friend - SIGNIFICANT INFLUENCE Common Application Essay

3 - He was born in XXX.... J impresses me with his unbelievable stories, that I really enjoy listening... The...

Undergraduatemia01 - Nov 14, 2009hera246 - Nov 14, 2009
"XX Model UN Conference" - Common App Short Essay

10 - What is thee question that you are answer. try to add more in about how this experience affected you....

Undergraduatejindu85 - Nov 14, 2009NEEDHELP99 - Nov 15, 2009
"live your life as a work of art" - Common Application

6 - This is not quite right: I live vicariously through my piano. When you live vicariously through the piano, it...

UndergraduateRhonWeasley - Nov 14, 2009EF_Kevin - Nov 15, 2009
'glorious alumna / colleges for women' - Smith college supplement

2 - Your first part is fine....I don't think anything needs change. Give more points to justify why women education was...

Undergraduateadamsnoopy - Nov 14, 2009hera246 - Nov 14, 2009
"Old Pride" - 500 words personnal statement.

9 - I don't really see how you were prideful in the situation. I see how you showed preseverance... Also, pride...

UndergraduateMonsieurWise - Nov 14, 2009twizzlestraw - Nov 26, 2009
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