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|'Golfing activity' - common app short answer
Undergraduatectoy - Jan 6, 2009 / songhyunwoo - Jan 10, 2009
|Study different cultures / Playing the guitar
Undergraduaterichmondfiend - Jan 10, 2009 / richmondfiend - Jan 10, 2009
|MIT Essay -- "I am a physics anomaly."
Undergraduateshayonsaleh - Dec 31, 2008 / stimpsimp - Jan 10, 2009
|'Tupac's changes' - NYU short response
4 - I pretty much reached the character limit with this response already. Thanks for the comments!...
UndergraduateLW Trojan - Jan 6, 2009 / LW Trojan - Jan 10, 2009
|uva - work of math that has challenged me
10 - I don't know whether you are from Singapore, but your essay sound like a GP essay. (If you are...
Undergraduatewongxy - Dec 24, 2008 / sunnywowo - Jan 10, 2009
|UConn College Essay Help, My First Job
2 - I was in the 4th grade, and my parents had received my first marking period report card. They glared...
UndergraduateGaudioA - Jan 10, 2009 / wongxy - Jan 10, 2009
|basketball court / crunching numbers to advising
Undergraduatesukjeffrey - Jan 9, 2009 / sukjeffrey - Jan 10, 2009
|UGA short essays on application..
6 - i guess for the first prompt , like what sean said, asking your family members might be a good...
Undergraduatelouisianacreole - Jan 8, 2009 / wongxy - Jan 10, 2009
|USC essay #3, "our 24-hour journey"
5 - Thanks! Esp. with the "but" thing, I didn't notice that..what a grammatical crime :P And I have two...
Undergraduatepriscileung - Jan 9, 2009 / priscileung - Jan 9, 2009
|Why GWU? This new beginning.
6 - The ending does not seem choppy. The whole essay is very impressive, for sure. It can be better if...
Undergraduatezowzow - Jan 8, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Jan 9, 2009
|COMMON APP ESSAY: FREE TOPIC. "Ingredients"
Undergraduatepenguin8 - Jan 6, 2009 / EF_Constance - Jan 9, 2009
|Common App essay - to be a pharmacist or a doctor
7 - You might want to leave off the pharmacist angle altogether. The prompt really wants you to focus on how...
Undergraduatemenamilad - Jan 9, 2009 / EF_Sean - Jan 9, 2009
|Major decision to choose a university - why swarthmore essay
5 - And then, when you've taken the other poster's suggestions, go through and cut ruthlessly. Once you have the essay...
Undergraduatecollege_seeker - Jan 8, 2009 / EF_Sean - Jan 8, 2009
|Does financial aid count on the excellence of one's essays???
7 - To add to the consensus -- no, your essays don't really affect your chances of getting financial aid. An...
Undergraduateonindo - Jan 7, 2009 / EF_Sean - Jan 8, 2009
|Metallism: a real unorthodox commonapp essay
8 - Keep the essay on file, though. You might find a use for it in another venue. The essay wasn't...
Undergraduateonindo - Jan 7, 2009 / EF_Sean - Jan 8, 2009
|"Leaders in the Making" - CMC Leadership - admission essay
13 - A minor grammatical point: "but also shone a new light onto the dark and mysterious world of sex."...
Undergraduateyee - Dec 31, 2008 / EF_Sean - Jan 8, 2009
|Colgate supp to get to know you beyond what is defined in your scholastic and extracurricular record
5 - You might also want to elaborate on how the experience changed your attitude about failure. At the moment, you...
Undergraduatebaubau - Jan 7, 2009 / EF_Sean - Jan 8, 2009
|Villanova University Supp. "Thai boy Chart"
12 - Yes, we are both nerds. :-) Continuing in that vein, I would say that "opposed to" is correct, as...
Undergraduatesolomonsun - Jan 6, 2009 / EF_Sean - Jan 8, 2009
|Common application-A topic of importance: GREED
Undergraduatedavphan - Jan 7, 2009 / davphan - Jan 8, 2009
|Democracy itself guarantees the right to express; ISSUE OF IMPORTANCE
6 - Maybe like this: Democracy is based on the right to express various ideas, and democracy is supposed to...
Undergraduategdtbj2008 - Jan 6, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Jan 8, 2009
|summer courses through LPS - university of pennsylvania essay (courses that interest you)
3 - I know that I will be able to take full advantage of the incredible amount of resources and research...
Undergraduatecollege_seeker - Jan 7, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Jan 8, 2009
|UC Prompt #1 - If you were an admission counselor, what would you think?
Undergraduatesukjeffrey - Nov 25, 2008 / EF_Constance - Jan 8, 2009
|how important the thesis is?
3 - It's good that at the end of your thesis you reflect on your main topic, that's what you're supposed...
Undergraduatenewsha31 - Jan 8, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Jan 8, 2009
|"Decorum Delegates! Decorum!" - UPenn pg. 217 from 300pg. autobiography
8 - The room slowly became completely silent . "The committee proceeds with the Nuclear Non Proliferation Treaty. This is...
Undergraduateamy - Jan 6, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Jan 8, 2009
|'ways to better myself' How has family history, culture influenced who you are?
2 - This essay is generally well-written, including the vocabulary you use and the grammar. However, I do not find...
Undergraduatetime2change - Jan 8, 2009 / Angela629 - Jan 8, 2009
|USC Essay- ("Newton's First Law of Motion")
Undergraduatesilentdreamer - Jan 7, 2009 / silentdreamer - Jan 8, 2009
|My first day at HUT, I felt an acute sense of disappointment; Significant Experience
8 - this account belongs to my friend, and I borrow it from him, anyway, you are welcome! when you revise...
Undergraduateptdung - Jan 7, 2009 / shine lee - Jan 8, 2009
|'greediness in big business' - university of pennsylvania short answer
2 - This essay seems to focus more on your own view of the recent economic turmoil than on Dr. Core's...
Undergraduatecollege_seeker - Jan 7, 2009 / EF_Sean - Jan 7, 2009
|CommonApp Personal Essay (Topic of your Choice, incentives for charitable)
Undergraduatecollege_seeker - Dec 31, 2008 / college_seeker - Jan 7, 2009
|Question about grades (lower as senior) and admission
6 - The downward trend hurts a bit because universities typically expect to see a 5-10% drop in students grades as...
UndergraduateUmich - Jan 7, 2009 / EF_Sean - Jan 7, 2009
|'a developed and a developing economy' - U of T essay ( issue of importance)
7 - You've got it. You definitely answered the prompt... Just make the final tweaks to the essay and send it!!!...
Undergraduateshamveel - Jan 6, 2009 / EF_Constance - Jan 7, 2009
|"Chase my love to secret of nature and philosophy" - Intellectual Goal
Undergraduategdtbj2008 - Jan 7, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Jan 7, 2009
|Cbest exam; Property theft - problem in community essay
Undergraduatemavictoria - Nov 27, 2008 / mavictoria - Jan 7, 2009
|Miracle. The birth of a new child. International Baccalaureate Admission paper.
Undergraduateicemaster2340 - Jan 6, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Jan 7, 2009
|"From Bolivia" - American University Essay
10 - Just cut out the unnecessary stuff, like this: Smack! my headboard resonated as I arose violently after I...
Undergraduateluisinarra - Jan 4, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Jan 7, 2009
|Common app short essay - an after school club
2 - As a student i have hosted an after school club for the elementary division called "Sports fanatics". We usually...
Undergraduatemenamilad - Jan 7, 2009 / shamveel - Jan 7, 2009
|'A workaholic in a pharmacy' - UCF Burnett Honors College
NEW - Prompt: It is Tuesday, March 14th, year 2028. Please describe the entries in your appointment book for the day...
Undergraduatexoxoheartx3 - Jan 7, 2009 / — -
|'Smart, fun, initiating' - VILLANOVA ESSAY
UndergraduateSofia - Jan 7, 2009 / zowzow - Jan 7, 2009
|Father's love is deep and silent, and always there it is; he influenced me
5 - please give me more detail advice on grammar. I feel all verbs in past tense a bit weird...I wonder...
Undergraduategdtbj2008 - Jan 6, 2009 / gdtbj2008 - Jan 7, 2009
|My expectation of college is more obvious, and my goal evolves gradually from uncertain to definite
2 - As I have graduated from high school for 1 year, I have considered more about college education and my...
Undergraduategdtbj2008 - Jan 7, 2009 / zowzow - Jan 7, 2009
|'Exam failure' - long essay of Michigan: setback
7 - yes you need to find different words to say the same thing - repeating a certain word makes it...
Undergraduatejustinwang - Dec 27, 2008 / zowzow - Jan 7, 2009
|We should sense the world as it is; extracurricular activity, community service essay
2 - When I was in fifth grade, my teacher organized a class visit to Welfare House. It was first time...
Undergraduategdtbj2008 - Jan 7, 2009 / shine lee - Jan 7, 2009
|USC essay- "to be a successful Hispanic", let me know what you think
Undergraduatelattent - Nov 29, 2008 / lattent - Jan 6, 2009
|I just realized that it is my grandfather's influence that has molded me into what I am today
7 - Yes, the rule for powerful communication is: Say it, explain it, and then say it again. That way, the...
UndergraduateSlime - Jan 3, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Jan 6, 2009
|common app essay, topic of your choice ("Mona Lisa smiles")
4 - heres some suggestions. At least Mona Lisa's smile is a suggestion of happiness. My smile is sometimes...
Undergraduatelee337 - Jan 5, 2009 / icemaster2340 - Jan 6, 2009
|Common Application essay- Money
3 - Linnus is absolutely right! you can tell us one of your experience with money stuff (something like that) which...
Undergraduatemenamilad - Jan 6, 2009 / shine lee - Jan 6, 2009
|Sharps and Flats - common app essay...
Undergraduateonindo - Jan 6, 2009 / icemaster2340 - Jan 6, 2009
|U Washington, How to contribute to this community
3 - "I hope to invite schoolmates to my hometown to see how exploded our buses and supermarkets are." Exploded is...
UndergraduateBaiwanyu - Jan 6, 2009 / EF_Sean - Jan 6, 2009
|FSU essay ("traditions and customs that have become a part of my life")
11 - True, if you start playing around with formatting, you can make an essay seem slightly longer or shorter than...
Undergraduatevk123 - Jan 2, 2009 / EF_Sean - Jan 6, 2009
|'In love with the sky' - Main essay. Influential experience in ur life
21 - You have several options, but one approach would be to say that when you first came here, you found...
Undergraduatenewsha31 - Jan 3, 2009 / EF_Sean - Jan 6, 2009
|Colorado State University Admissions
4 - Kevin's suggestions are excellent, especially the part about beginning with "Now would be a good time to explain how...
UndergraduateCokeShred - Jan 5, 2009 / EF_Sean - Jan 6, 2009
|common app essay: my father
Undergraduateshine lee - Jan 6, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Jan 6, 2009
|UT essay ("a pair of the beautiful earnings")
7 - Great, it is strong as long as there is at least one sentence that powerfully stells the central truth...
Undergraduatetasmia01 - Jan 6, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Jan 6, 2009
|USC essay "My best friend gone slim" - Tell us about an external influence that affected you
4 - thanks for all the useful comments! i have also found it quite lengthy, thanks for pointing out that too...
Undergraduatesolomonsun - Jan 5, 2009 / solomonsun - Jan 6, 2009
|BYU short essays - what set you apart from other applications
3 - A346 already has helped you correct some of the wording but try to have the essay flow a little...
Undergraduatelee337 - Jan 5, 2009 / zoomkobe - Jan 6, 2009
|UW short essay - "race and culture at school"
Undergraduateichid99 - Jan 5, 2009 / EF_Sean - Jan 5, 2009
|VCU essay: "Education and Life: A Personal Statement." In this essay, discuss your educational goals
8 - In keeping with Kevin's suggestion, you might want to describe your artwork in more detail, and then explore the...
Undergraduatejd6365 - Jan 4, 2009 / EF_Sean - Jan 5, 2009
|CMC essay; "First in war, first in peace, and first in our countrymen's hearts"
16 - Thanks Constance! Its just I reeeallllly want to go to CMC...but there is no use worrying now. At least...
Undergraduatelattent - Jan 2, 2009 / lattent - Jan 5, 2009
|Teacher of influence essay
Undergraduateichid99 - Jan 4, 2009 / jenf3r - Jan 5, 2009
|I want to be an architect! / Pratt Institute
4 - I'd say you could probably eliminate most of paragraphs 1 and 5, neither of which add much to your...
Undergraduatebirchkk - Jan 4, 2009 / EF_Sean - Jan 5, 2009
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