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Early believe assumptions vs Science new findings about Altruism

4 - The sense exposed more clear in this variant for me. the provided information provided supports It acts...

Writing Feedbackmargarita - Dec 1, 2009kooka - Dec 2, 2009
"Volunteering at the hospital" - Common App 150 word essay

4 - I like to share my experience with you. dear nikky, you should not use past sentence overally. you can...

Undergraduatenikky4u - Dec 1, 2009robertsheperd80 - Dec 2, 2009
Need Critiquing on my Cornell Interest Essay (CAS)

21 - LOL finally somebody who's not afraid to admit that! I actually wrote my diversity essay kinda based on...

Undergraduateallathlete5 - Nov 7, 2009yang - Dec 1, 2009
Essay about my experience - not possible to be specific!?

15 - your right kev!...

UndergraduateMoeMoe1 - Nov 15, 2009MoeMoe1 - Dec 1, 2009
UC Prompt; Repressed Memoir of My Past

24 - well, no need to have repressed memories of the past anymore. time to move on and work on homework....

Undergraduatelaughatmyname - Nov 20, 2009meisj0n - Dec 1, 2009
Personal Statement, Computer Science; 'I was the top one among students'

2 - As a smart and curious freshman three years ago, becoming a computer scientist to lead the cutting-edge ??(cutting-edge describes...

GraduateJinZheyu - Dec 1, 2009reina92 - Dec 1, 2009
Singing + perfect concert - SHORT ANSWERS FOR USC: MUSIC

4 - This should be a dash, not a semi-colon: Most of all, singing opened up the doors to an...

Undergraduategksquf45 - Nov 30, 2009EF_Kevin - Dec 1, 2009
"inclined towards music", Common App-elaborate on an activity in 150 words

3 - From then on, my church's youth group band has been a wonderful weekly experience that I cherish to this...

Undergraduatereina92 - Nov 30, 2009EF_Kevin - Dec 1, 2009
"the difficulty of my social studies exam" - Macaulay honors essay

3 - i guess i intended the ethical dilemma to be whether or not you should abandon a person you love...

Undergraduatessuri14 - Nov 30, 2009ssuri14 - Dec 1, 2009
"my first speech for the club."

3 - Oh, don't worry about indentation in this forum. I can see where the paragraphs break. you have a...

Undergraduatesomewhereoverth - Nov 30, 2009EF_Kevin - Dec 1, 2009
One's environment does not hinder one's capability for success. - UC #1

4 - Too often, that same child later find herself growing into an adulthood that is a duplicate of her youth....

UndergraduateMentemic - Nov 29, 2009EF_Kevin - Dec 1, 2009
An Indian milieu

12 - Ha ha, yes, for now help me correct some of these essays! I'm having trouble keeping up. :-)...

Writing FeedbackRajiv - Oct 26, 2009EF_Kevin - Dec 1, 2009
"reality and fantasy" - UC prompt #1 - my world

3 - It seems like you jump from one idea to the next... but you can fix it easily. Introduce travel...

Undergraduatemcsingson - Nov 29, 2009EF_Kevin - Dec 1, 2009
"to California from France" - UC #1 My family's impact

4 - Yes, a bit cheesy, but you can fix it! Just get rid of the last word. ...made me...

Undergraduateraffi100 - Nov 29, 2009EF_Kevin - Dec 1, 2009
Statement Family's experience ("they think I'm the typical Chinese person")

3 - You write very well! Just use some commas: Growing up in America was very difficult for me , since...

Undergraduatedeanne - Nov 29, 2009EF_Kevin - Dec 1, 2009
"My dream was to become a millionaire" - UC Prompt

3 - This last para should not begin with a sentence about getting an F. It should reflect back on that...

Undergraduatepremis - Nov 29, 2009EF_Kevin - Dec 1, 2009
Before entering high school, I had endured through my social shyness and anxiety

4 - Before entering high school, I had endured adversity associated with my social shyness and anxiety that had limited my...

Undergraduateabcxyz - Nov 29, 2009EF_Kevin - Dec 1, 2009
Morrill Scholarship Essay for OSU

2 - Let's fix up this important part of the essay: the end of the first paragraph. My life has...

Scholarshipmicaredi - Nov 29, 2009EF_Kevin - Dec 1, 2009
Princeton Summer Essay- "I like being busy"

3 - Thank you! ...for the corrections and the complements. Anyone else? If not then I am going to submit my...

Undergraduatebmachado - Nov 30, 2009bmachado - Dec 1, 2009
"all-Hispanic farm community" - UC Personal Statements Rough Draft

2 - Throughout my life, I have been criticized for having aspiring dreams of leaving a tiny, all-Hispanic farm community dominated...

Undergraduatehollywoodholt - Nov 29, 2009EF_Kevin - Dec 1, 2009
UC Prompt 2- "Be the change you wish to see..."

2 - I never really considered myself as an athlete; after years of dropped basketballs and unsteady pitches on the field,...

UndergraduateJS2010 - Nov 29, 2009EF_Kevin - Dec 1, 2009
Ms. Eun's Lecture: Purdue essay

2 - Entering the middle school, I was scared because of the pressure to get good grades. ...since they had...

Undergraduatelovelynight - Dec 1, 2009EF_Susan - Dec 1, 2009
Economical stress, lack of jobs - California University help

2 - Economical stress, the lack of jobs in my family, caring teachers, My friends would always motivate me when...

Undergraduatejigdesai92 - Nov 30, 2009EF_Susan - Dec 1, 2009
UC Prompt 2- The Day that Changed it All!

4 - I only found a few small things, your essay is great! I finally realized the potential I had...

Undergraduatekoberulz2 - Nov 26, 2009EF_Susan - Dec 1, 2009
'Gattaca to Fear' - Common Application a character in fiction, a historical ...

2 - If deadly spikes surrounded my dream , I would never take the chance and would most certainly not "go...

Undergraduaterumbleking - Dec 1, 2009alex10 - Dec 1, 2009
'No Playstation or skateboard' - Independent Engineering UC Prompt #1

2 - Your essay is great! I only found these few things; This was the first time I had made...

Undergraduatecire9753 - Nov 30, 2009EF_Susan - Dec 1, 2009
'One entrepreneur' - UIUC essay: your academic interests and/or professional goals.

3 - Thanks, I'm gonna revise it....

Undergraduateskw910824 - Nov 29, 2009skw910824 - Dec 1, 2009
human evolution - Does this essay sound too much like a rant?

7 - yang and everyone here made some very good points. try to make your essay more positive instead of negative,...

Undergraduateukarmy04 - Nov 27, 2009CarlosGarcia19 - Dec 1, 2009
Caesura - University of Cincinnati PS-academic achievements, personal interests

2 - I am not sure what Caesura is - did not know from your answer, is it an academic program....

Undergraduatelilgangwolf - Nov 30, 2009linmark - Dec 1, 2009
"I found an art + Skateboarding" - Help wrapping up my essays for UC's!

3 - I think you should refer to the question a bit more at the start: When I reflect on the...

Undergraduateandrooskie - Nov 29, 2009EF_Kevin - Dec 1, 2009
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