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Awful Common App Essay- ("the story of the Christmas tree")

3 - Every Christmas millions of trees are cut and sold by merchants in market places. Romanians go to buy them...

UndergraduateBlondie - Jan 1, 2009EF_Kevin - Jan 1, 2009
"Here, sing!" - Common App essay on ethnicity

8 - Gotcha, thank you!...

Undergraduatemdg921 - Dec 30, 2008mdg921 - Jan 1, 2009
'A friend and a competitor' - Common App Essay -- Influential Person

2 - Wow, I'm so glad to be reading this extrely funny essay... :) ...What struck me was the fact...

UndergraduateFFtoMay1 - Dec 31, 2008EF_Kevin - Jan 1, 2009
Lehigh Short Essay ("What a stupid crybaby..")

6 - A memory from kindergarten... it is dubious that it should have this much detail... If possible I would suggest...

Undergraduateohreally - Dec 31, 2008sk8rgal666 - Jan 1, 2009
Is it ok to use fragments in extracurricular activities?

6 - Alright, how is it possible to shorten it, without losing the detail? I have changed it to this:...

UndergraduateRachovsky - Jan 1, 2009Rachovsky - Jan 1, 2009
'Go-Stop and Korea' - Pomona Supplement

2 - This is excellent! I have no corrections to make other than what Constance caught... and it really is a...

Undergraduatedennyssampler - Dec 31, 2008EF_Kevin - Jan 1, 2009
[Supplements] NYU Short Answers - Is the content GREAT? What can I add/remove?

2 - For the characteristic one, instead of "insecure," perhaps you should go with "cautious." For the third one, why...

Undergraduatesukjeffrey - Jan 1, 2009EF_Sean - Jan 1, 2009
JHU--why major in biomed engineering essay

2 - I think intrigued is the most over used word I have seen in app essays, I also read an...

Undergraduateac10 - Dec 31, 2008sk8rgal666 - Jan 1, 2009
Cornell Supp. School of arts & sciences (evolving into a businessman)

2 - Living in a family bound to an entrepreneurial company, I've always envisioned myself evolving into a businessman. Because modern...

Undergraduatemikedogg90 - Dec 31, 2008EF_Kevin - Jan 1, 2009
Johns Hopkins Essay- why i chose undecided as my major

12 - I think you successfully combine your story with the school's character, it sounds like a great match! I would...

Undergraduatemdg921 - Dec 31, 2008sk8rgal666 - Jan 1, 2009
USC essay ("Ey, look at my pictures.")

2 - Looking at my portrait, I see a confident, young adult who has changed shape over the years. I see...

Undergraduatemastercheif518 - Dec 31, 2008EF_Kevin - Jan 1, 2009
UPenn Long Essay - "My passion for history"

6 - My passion for history stems from the fact that it is one of the few subjects which allow, and...

Undergraduateparadox - Dec 31, 2008EF_Kevin - Jan 1, 2009
A future full of opportunities - Boston University Supplement

5 - Having spent the first eleven years of my life living in a busy city in northeastern China, the move...

Undergraduateseapumas - Dec 31, 2008EF_Kevin - Jan 1, 2009
CORNELL SUPPLEMENT, College of Arts and Sciences (Chemistry)

7 - "Polymerase or even mucus", I think you can remove the "or" to make it more succinct, flow better "Interest...

Undergraduatescarpino - Dec 31, 2008sk8rgal666 - Jan 1, 2009
'Good education and hard work ' - my grandma, a significant person

5 - i think that you should include more personal experiences that have been inspired by your grandmother....

Undergraduateuhlyssuh - Dec 28, 2008neonalchemy - Jan 1, 2009
trait or characteristic / activity engage - NYU SUPPLEMENT

3 - For number 2, focus on a club or organization and tell what you do with it. Instead of saying...

Undergraduatemisti915 - Jan 1, 2009Linnus - Jan 1, 2009
Cornell Engineering Essay (elegant compromise)

4 - However{,} through my work as {in} a lab group {lab groups} I have found another aspect of engineering...

UndergraduateTootley - Dec 31, 2008sk8rgal666 - Jan 1, 2009
Cornell (CAS// BOOKS)

3 - hahahahahaha you do realise kevin, you made the almost EXACT same points as Constance? I guess it shows...

Undergraduatemk415 - Dec 31, 2008zowzow - Jan 1, 2009
Common app: S'mores in Andover

5 - thanks ashwin XD...

Undergraduateyfung91 - Dec 29, 2008yfung91 - Jan 1, 2009
Boston University Engineering essay

2 - The human body is the most interesting topic I have ever studied in any class. I would suggest shortening...

Undergraduatejsteinke - Dec 31, 2008sk8rgal666 - Jan 1, 2009
UPS (University of Puget) Supplement

4 - I agree with ZowZow. UPS (the University, not the company! :) ) Doesn't need to be said that much......

Undergraduateichid99 - Dec 31, 2008EF_Constance - Jan 1, 2009
princeton my last two summers

3 - Awesome job. I love volleyball too! What position do you play? Anyways, I thought you essay was meaningful and...

Undergraduateprl - Dec 13, 2008amy - Jan 1, 2009
Common App Essay ( The one with unlimited words )

11 - Until seven days ago, I had one focus - to make it to Carnegie Mellon, score that 90 plus...

Undergraduatedhruvsharma - Dec 30, 2008xduckiex - Jan 1, 2009
Short Response Essays (Dancehall)

6 - THANK YOU VERY MUCH! FINALLY! Lol. After I adjust this line imma read it over and then submit it......

Undergraduatestimpsimp - Dec 24, 2008stimpsimp - Jan 1, 2009
Lehigh supplementary essay feedback; the unique and unparallel combination

2 - The main factor that attracted me to Lehigh is the unique and unparalleled combination of rigorous academics and intense...

Undergraduateasianxtreme - Jan 1, 2009EF_Constance - Jan 1, 2009
Tufts Supplements -- curriculum, saying, expressioin

4 - the second one? Let your life speak? But it's so good lol. Well if you can write a better...

Undergraduateashwin17 - Dec 31, 2008stimpsimp - Jan 1, 2009
'community organizer' - SHORT Brown U. Supplement - How did you hear about Brown?

2 - I strode(I WOULD USE ANOTHER WORD. THIS ONE SEEMS AWKWARD.) back down the narrow hallway to the desk of...

Undergraduaterandomzm - Dec 31, 2008EF_Constance - Jan 1, 2009
Brown- Carpe Diem - Inspiration Essay

5 - "Carpe Diem", or seize the day. What does this saying mean? right here, the reader thinks, "But...you just...

Undergraduatelololololol3434 - Dec 31, 2008EF_Kevin - Jan 1, 2009
Consideration of others - Help me with Trinity's essay

2 - If you are going to bring up that your parents are doctors, I would give some examples of how...

Undergraduatejustinwang - Dec 31, 2008EF_Constance - Jan 1, 2009
'I will succeed and thrive like no other' - Northwestern Statement

5 - Not a problem! Good luck! I agree with bmaffei432. It is a great idea for a commercial... Sell...

Undergraduateohreally - Dec 31, 2008EF_Constance - Jan 1, 2009
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