justivy03
Aug 10, 2016
Undergraduate / Barnard College- pick one woman in history or fiction to converse with [2]
Hi Ann, first of all WELCOME to the Essay Forum Team, I hope you find this website as helpful and useful to your writing projects. We aim to provide you with the most accurate and valuable insights in order for you to come up with a stronger and confident essay that is absolutely ready for submission.
Further to your doubts as to, if the essay is too flowery, I say not flowery but it's a little bit informal, well, this essay calls for both actually, as it seeks for a fictional source or subject too, however, it will still be advised that you lean towards the formal approach. Moving on to your, should it be specific thoughts, well, the prompt it can either be from history or a fictional being and having read you essay, I say you did the right approach for the prompt.
Moreover, the first paragraph is quiet stable, the ideas are clear, however, the second one needs a little enhancement, please find my suggestions below;
-So if I, by some miracle that allowed me toShould there be a chance to skirt the
- lines between fantasy and reality, was given the chance to speak with Leia Organa for just an hour,
-And( refrain from using the word "and" in the beginning of your sentences ) I know what she would tell me,
-ButHowever, ( "but" is not an advisable word to start your sentence, therefore, avoid it as much as possible ) there's hope, there's always is,
- as long as someone is willingto take the opportunity and run with it. And if not me, then who?
There you have it Ann, I hope the above remarks are helpful towards your essay revision, do let us know should you need further assistance.
Hi Ann, first of all WELCOME to the Essay Forum Team, I hope you find this website as helpful and useful to your writing projects. We aim to provide you with the most accurate and valuable insights in order for you to come up with a stronger and confident essay that is absolutely ready for submission.
Further to your doubts as to, if the essay is too flowery, I say not flowery but it's a little bit informal, well, this essay calls for both actually, as it seeks for a fictional source or subject too, however, it will still be advised that you lean towards the formal approach. Moving on to your, should it be specific thoughts, well, the prompt it can either be from history or a fictional being and having read you essay, I say you did the right approach for the prompt.
Moreover, the first paragraph is quiet stable, the ideas are clear, however, the second one needs a little enhancement, please find my suggestions below;
-
- lines between fantasy and reality
-
-
- as long as someone is willing
There you have it Ann, I hope the above remarks are helpful towards your essay revision, do let us know should you need further assistance.