lcturn87
Sep 2, 2015
Writing Feedback / How does the media coverage on police shootings affect how the people view law enforcement? [3]
I can help you with some of your essay.
I will help you with the meaning in part of this sentence:
-"whether it be certain and factual, here-say, or guessing" If you use certain and factual it is like using the same word. You should choose which word you could use factual because it is more specific. Hearsay and guessing can have a different meaning. Hearsay is related to an account about hearing or observing an event, but this does not mean it is a guess.
-Before you discuss social media, you should use a transition word: "For example, social media.." There is another slight issue with this sentence: "...a wider audience and snowball..." Another option is to use "make" rather than snowball. Also, in the latter part of the sentence I can only assume that you are continuing to discuss what happens on social media. I would suggest starting a new sentence.
The next paragraph: Form a new sentence: "However, this coverage could also result in a situation of panic." Although it is better to use a variety of sentence structures, I noticed that when you used reverse cases you were trying to make a contrast. I used a transition word (However) and the word (coverage) to help you to form a sentence that relates to the first sentence but states that contrast. Delete the comma after "Since". Some words need to be deleted:but too much of this information, especially on ongoing cases can be problematic. Place "the" before Police and public. "breaks trust".The last sentence place a comma after media and delete the comma after "purpose".
I can help you with some of your essay.
I will help you with the meaning in part of this sentence:
-"whether it be certain and factual, here-say, or guessing" If you use certain and factual it is like using the same word. You should choose which word you could use factual because it is more specific. Hearsay and guessing can have a different meaning. Hearsay is related to an account about hearing or observing an event, but this does not mean it is a guess.
-Before you discuss social media, you should use a transition word: "For example, social media.." There is another slight issue with this sentence: "...a wider audience and snowball..." Another option is to use "make" rather than snowball. Also, in the latter part of the sentence I can only assume that you are continuing to discuss what happens on social media. I would suggest starting a new sentence.
The next paragraph: Form a new sentence: "However, this coverage could also result in a situation of panic." Although it is better to use a variety of sentence structures, I noticed that when you used reverse cases you were trying to make a contrast. I used a transition word (However) and the word (coverage) to help you to form a sentence that relates to the first sentence but states that contrast. Delete the comma after "Since". Some words need to be deleted: